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[Evil Vito]

Originally Posted by M-A-G Third Match: Zed Jones vs. Jordan Demiras We've been informed that Michael Hotbody is not allowed at ringside for the match...so naturally he sneaks up behind Demiras BEFORE the match starts and sends him into the ring steps and beats on him before heading to the back. Demiras insists on going through with the match. He gets his wish but Jones has quite the advantage and just overpowers the former champion. Demiras is fueled by rage however and won't go away easy. He manages enough of a comeback to hit a top rope Axe Kick and score the win. Hotbody IMMEDIATELY storms down to offer his congratulations and a chair so Demiras sit and rest but Demiras is too much of a klutz and he smacks into it with his head. Jones and Hotbody then notice a bunch of spiders all over Demiras' body and act quickly by stomping them over and over again. Hotbody may have saved Demiras from what sure could have been a medical disaster. ****1/2, 91% overall

Hotbody segments remain the most brilliant thing Hotbody is a paragon of virtue, spiders all over my body would make me convulse and probably have major heart palpitations, so I'd be all for getting stomped on.

Backstage, Quentin McDaniels and Butch Fleming have gotten into a scuffle with Noah Carmichael and Haven. Everyone's yelling at each other, all laying claim to the Unified World Title. Lisa Benton arrives with officials and tells them all to settle down and shut up because she's going to rectify this issue right now. The main event at Night of Champions will be Butch Fleming defending the Unified World Title against Carmichael, McDaniels, AND Haven in a fatal four-way. She orders all of them to back down right now or she'll remove them from the match.

Fatal four way! That's going to be fire.

It's a rough but even first few minutes as they go back and forth. The first decision comes after Faith counters an errant kick from Jenna into the Crisis of Faith to pick up the pin and go up 1-0. 11 minutes in and this time Jenna gets the upper hand throughout the most of the exchange. Faith has to resort to desperation moves to keep Jenna off her back. She manages to set up Jenna for a Mirror's Edge but Jenna follows her up and brings her off the top with a super belly-to-back suplex and that's enough to stun Faith for Jenna to hit a Kyle Driver to tie things up at 1-1. We're down to the last 5 minutes and the intensity picks up. Faith decides to play things smart and stay grounded which throws Jenna off a tad. She's eventually able to adapt and latches in her Boston Crab in the closing moments. Faith refuses to tap and it looks like we may be going into overtime but Faith makes the ropes and Jenna lets go not wanting to give up another fall. She looks for the Kyle Driver but Faith escapes and slings Jenna into the ropes and then follows up with a 6-1-9 of all things! Faith then launches off of Jenna's body and springboards off the top rope to hit the Mirror's Edge to go up 2-1 and time expires. ******, 100% overall, piece in the Middle East is achieved, all the men had erections and all the women were ovulating, left and right. Post-match, we get an apparent face turn from Jenna as she goes through with a handshake as we go off the air.

[M-A-G]

Originally Posted by Conspiracy Victim Vito Hotbody segments remain the most brilliant thing Hotbody is a paragon of virtue, spiders all over my body would make me convulse and probably have major heart palpitations, so I'd be all for getting stomped on. Fatal four way! That's going to be fire.

Hotbody showing a lot of depth to his character by showing his compassion and quick thinking skills. I mean, imagine if all of those spiders had bitten Demiras! Isn't the rule the smaller the deadlier? It really is quite amazing how selfless Hotbody can be.

I feel kind of dirty doing another four-way immediately after a PPV where I had a four-way as a featured match. I was looking to make Seth Von Kamp the next contender, give Carmichael some time off, and do Haven vs. McDaniels but then that made King of the Ring and SummerSlam a bit troublesome. Ultimately this was the best I could think of after debating in my head.

I imagine that image was a generalization of how everyone at home watching felt, Scott Keith included. It's my normal state of being whenever I gaze at Jenna for prolonged periods of time. Speaking of which....

[M-A-G]

I now instantly regret not calling it an Iron Maiden Match. It'd go pretty much the same except the match would end two minutes to midnight.

[Evil Vito]

I'll always mark out for a good Iron Maiden reference

[M-A-G]

Superstars: June 14, 2040

Opening Match: Ozzy Mandias vs. Bill Crockett
Ooh, there's some rough crowd reaction on this one. Fortunately, their work rate more than compensates because of course it does. Romeo Valiente, who is at ringside, can't contain his frustration with Ozzy enough to stay out of things but sadly, he screws up his attempted shenanigans and that allows Ozzy to nail the Blizzard of Oz for the pin. ****1/2, 85% overall.

It's time for another riveting edition of The Hot Button with everyone's favorite host, the WWE Cruiserweight Champion, Former Cruiserweight Champion-Elect Michael Hotbody. He wants to update everyone on the condition of Jordan Demiras. Granted he's in rough shape right now which prevents him from being here but things could have turned out a lot worse if Zed Jones and Hotbody hadn't gotten rid of those spiders that somehow managed to get on Demiras on Raw. There are some serious pest control issues that need to be addressed but the so-called 'great' and 'illustrious' boss the WWE has is too busy eyeballing her next bedroom conquest to worry about important things like making sure the talent is safe from dangerous pests. Jordan Demiras could have suffered a severe allergic reaction if Hotbody hadn't been there!!! Then he wouldn't have been able to go on to Night of Champions and suffer another humiliating loss to the greatest Cruiserweight Champion this company has had in years! But we can worry about that later because right now the skinny that The Hot Button was able to learn was that Lisa Benton herself was seen entering Jordan Demiras' hospital room where they apparently spent quite a good amount of time alone together! That's why we're here tonight to finally uncover the truth! Hotbody is welcoming to the Hot Button right here and now, LISA BENTON!

Benton begrudgingly makes her way out to take part in the absurdity and locks eyes with Hotbody, who is smiling from ear to ear. "Alright, boss, you know why I'm calling you out. Now, I know being a scummy suit your first instinct is going to be to deny all of the accusations or even get physical rather than address the issue but I've got you and Demiras cold. These aren't just wild accusations some nut is throwing around. We here at the Hot Button have managed to secure ACTUAL VIDEO TAPE EVIDENCE of you entering the hospital room where conveniently Jordan Demiras was recovering from what happened on Raw. You look surprised! Well, why don't we just let everyone see for themselves. ROLL THAT BEAUTIFUL BEAN FOOTAGE!"

The big screen shifts to black and white security footage that shows a hospital hallway with various people walking up and down its length. After about 15 seconds or so, Lisa Benton does indeed appear and enters a room, closing the door behind her. Hotbody insists it gets played over on a loop while he continues. "The truth is in the pudding! You can't deny it anymore! I always knew you were screwy. I just didn't know how much you enjoyed getting scre...."

"OK, enough!" Benton interrupts. "It looks like there's no sense in carrying on any sort of charade. I guess I can open up and talk about this. Jordan Demiras, if you're watching this, I only hope you can forgive me because I know you wanted to keep it quiet at least for the time being."

Hotbody leaps up and down, unable to contain his glee. "I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT!!! Come on! Let's hear the details! What exactly went down in that room?"

"Well, honestly, I wasn't sure what I was going to do when I walked in. I saw Jordan just lying there in so much pain. I mean, it's my responsibility to look after the talent under my watch. When he noticed my presence it didn't take long for him to collect himself and ask that we get down to business. I was unsure at first but he insisted because he had a special demand. When I heard him out, the thing he asked for and the things he was planning on doing, a small part of me was telling me to leave the room and let sleeping dogs lie. But there was another part of me that had actually thought about his request before and wanted to see it come to fruition. After we talked about it for a while, he made one last plea. Would I grant him his request? I closed my eyes and paused briefly for a moment, considering the consequences, but ultimately I said...'YES! YES! Yes, Jordan I will accept your proposition....I WILL make your match against Hotbody a steel cage match!"

The smile on Hotbody's face vanishes and is replaced with a horrified, pale expression. Benton gets in his face and simply says, "Like you said on Raw: no questions asked." We go to break as Benton leaves Hotbody stunned.

Backstage, Fantasee is with Frankie who wants to rip Carmella Costello a new one. Carmella had better learn to accept that Frankie will never buy into Carmella's mindset of the world revolving around her and that leaving her side was the best decision she ever made.


Second Match: Quentin McDaniels vs. Stone Walsh
All three of the challengers to the Unified World Title will be in action tonight. McDaniels is up first here and delivers a good showing taking time every so often to issue threats to the other participants via the camera. He cheats to win via using the ropes in the end and BUILDS MOMENTUM for Night of Champions. *****, 94% overall.


Third Match: Jesse Capalbo vs. Jerome McDougal
Not much in the way of heat but still enough to not get hurt by the previous match. This is all about McDougal looking good and me justifying Aaron Ramsey's paycheck as the two use their treachery to eek out a victory for McDougal. ****1/4, 84% overall.

Backstage, Noah Carmichael is going through emotions and wants us all to help him get through it. He wants all of us to be there for him when he bashes Quentin McDaniels' face in, over and over and over again. He wants all of us to understand him when he has to take out Haven and deny him the Unified World Title. And most importantly he wants all of us to share his joy when Butch Fleming lies at Carmichael's feet, broken, sorry, pathetic, and no longer champion.

Fourth Match: The Morris Cousins vs. The Wasteland
Back in form for the Wasteland as they need to recover from being rag dolls for Hugo. Plus it's awesome tag team action so pluses all around. The Wasteland hit Lyle Morris with the Toxic Kiss to pick up the win. *****, 95% overall.

Fifth Match: Haven vs. Clubber Harris
It's Haven's turn at the barrel and he appears unfazed by Carmichael's comments earlier. This is just an awesome heavyweight slugfest that of course is all about Haven making a statement. He gets the pin after the Sting of Solace and BUILDS MOMENTUM himself. ****1/2, 93% overall.

Sixth Match: Jamie Roderick vs. Arianna
I realized I haven't been using these guys that often which is yet another good argument for a women's tag division. Roderick is just so good to waste, I feel bad sometimes. So let her get a win here I say! She slaps on the Roderick Legacy after a kick ass bout for the submission. *****, 95% overall.

Backstage, Vivian Merrick is still struggling to talk through her jaw injury. She's faring better as she joins her clients, the Future Foundation in bad mouthing the Play Pals, calling them nothing but man-children who got lucky in getting another crack at the gold. The Future Foundation will finish the job at Night of Champions.

MAIN EVENT: Noah Carmichael vs. Lonny Richards
Probably Richards' most high profile match to date, which Nathan Quinn espouses as proof that kicking Caleb Greene to the curb was the right move. Carmichael is all business and takes the fight to Richards. It's a nice back and forth heavyweight style match so of course Butch Fleming has to be the asshole who ruins it by running in to attack Carmichael for the DQ. Caleb Greene runs in to try to get things evened out but the faces are unable to overcome and gets laid out. ****1/2, 93% overall.

Overall show rating: 90%

[M-A-G]

I trust Vito is hard at work trying to get Paul Wight to sign with him.

[Evil Vito]

The writers handling the Hotbody/Demiras/Benton angle need a huge raise. Benton stringing him along with innuendo is priceless

[Evil Vito]

Originally Posted by M-A-G I trust Vito is hard at work trying to get Paul Wight to sign with him.

Strangely, Big Show was not among those selected for the massive WWE layoffs. Looking at their roster they've still got him on a written deal as a non-wrestler. Ring stats are terrible as you'd expect, but with 85 overness and 85 charisma, I'd have had no problem making him one of the legends I keep on an open deal for occasional appearances to put guys over. As we know, beatdowns on legends makes for some easy heat.

My rule with legends is they should always be used to elevate the current talent in one form or another. Angles being the most common way but if there is a scenario where they get pressed into ring duty, the purpose needs to be putting someone else over. If they're gonna win a match it should be a tag match putting over their partner (Sting/Darby) OR a legend could feasibly win via interference continuing a feud between two active competitors.

But there should never be a case where a legend comes in and gets over at the expense of everyone else, brother.

[M-A-G]

Originally Posted by Conspiracy Victim Vito The writers handling the Hotbody/Demiras/Benton angle need a huge raise. Benton stringing him along with innuendo is priceless

Were this the WWE, Vince would've given himself an aneurism raging over the number of the times the word 'hospital' was uttered followed with Hotbody jobbing to everyone under the sun including a rehired Marty Jannety. The Cruiserweight Title is eventually forgotten and no more angles are done where someone might need medical attention in fear of the dreaded 'h' word being dropped by a careless slip.

[M-A-G]

Originally Posted by Conspiracy Victim Vito Strangely, Big Show was not among those selected for the massive WWE layoffs. Looking at their roster they've still got him on a written deal as a non-wrestler. Ring stats are terrible as you'd expect, but with 85 overness and 85 charisma, I'd have had no problem making him one of the legends I keep on an open deal for occasional appearances to put guys over. As we know, beatdowns on legends makes for some easy heat. My rule with legends is they should always be used to elevate the current talent in one form or another. Angles being the most common way but if there is a scenario where they get pressed into ring duty, the purpose needs to be putting someone else over. If they're gonna win a match it should be a tag match putting over their partner (Sting/Darby) OR a legend could feasibly win via interference continuing a feud between two active competitors. But there should never be a case where a legend comes in and gets over at the expense of everyone else, brother.

Should he be available, though, how much of a shake up would it be as a member of the roster? Short of signing John Cena it'd be hard pressed to find someone who would be viewed as the biggest outsider heel from the big, bad WWE. A team up with Jericho to recreate their old partnership to help put over another team would be at the top of my list but that's just me. I legit don't remember ever using Paul Wight in my promotion when I started out way back when so I'm not exactly the greatest consultant in this regard...or any other regard for that matter.

[Evil Vito]

With his charisma I think he'd settle in well as an announcer which, coincidentally, is what AEW is doing with him in real life. Not sure if non-wrestlers can hold second jobs as announcers like wrestlers and managers can, though.

In terms of angles I think his best value would be to help put over some of the company's big guys, but online people are split on whether it's a good idea or not.

People forget there's a big difference between WWE big and everywhere else big. When Drew McIntyre got released and went to the indies at 6'5", 265 lbs he looked so much bigger than most of the people he wrestled. He goes back to WWE and now looks par for the course.

Jon Moxley/Dean Ambrose is 6'2" which was not anything special in WWE land despite being big by normal life standards. FTR/The Revival are 5'10", 225 lbs each and didn't look remotely big in WWE, in fact some people on this board called them vanilla midgets. In AEW? They seem like a couple of thick dudes and heavy hitters.

In EWR land, Wardlow would absolutely get over by beating down Wight just on the overness discrepancy alone. But in real life? Wardlow is a company "big guy" at 6'3" and built like a brick shithouse...does standing him toe to toe with thew 7' giant in Wight kill his image?

As someone who doesn't care about height, Wardlow press slamming Wight would make me mark out and make me think it helps legitimize him. But for the many people on this board who get hung up on size and think the lack of focus on size outside of WWE makes everything else seem minor league, they'd think it would just bury Wight and make it all look like a farce. It's all a matter of perspective.

[Evil Vito]

[QUOTE=Conspiracy Victim Vito;5428011]Tonight's results are sponsored by Brandi Rhodes, Penelope Ford, and Britt Baker's pool party



AEW Dark: March 30, 2021:
-Ricky Starks def. QT Marshall
-Scorpio Sky def. jack Evans
-Chuck Taylor def. Brian Pillman Jr.
-Awesome Kong def. Shanna
-The Young Bucks def. Bad Romance


AEW Dynamite: March 31, 2021

Segment 1:

We open up in a conference room for another town hall featuring the losing Blood and Guts team and their associated stables. Kenny Omega and Don Callis are trying to keep this huge group of baddies on the same page despite Blood and Guts being over and Kenny being the one to surrender. Don Callis tells the group that the record book does not tell the whole story. Kenny Omega, as the reigning AEW World champion and best wrestler in the world, has to protect his interests. He was making a savvy business decision and he'd expect anybody else in the room to do the same thing under those circumstances.

As Kenny and Callis continue to talk Omega up, the group slowly but surely start exiting the room, leaving the pair bragging in an empty conference room. And so ends the Legion of Doom. 87% overall


Segment 2:

It's the in ring return of the Galaxy's Greatest Alien Kris Statlander, fresh off of her surprise return on Saturday. She's facing the woman she faced last summer in the match she got injured - Penelope Ford. There's some commotion outside the ring between their seconds, so as to allow Orange Cassidy and Miro to continue their feud...but in-ring it's essentially a showcase for Statlander to get everyone re-acquainted with her. Big Bang Theory gets Kris the win. **1/2, 67% overall


Segment 3:

Taz is backstage with Brian Cage. Now that they got out of that bullshit Omega meeting, time for more pressing matters - Darby Allin, we're still not done here. You have unfinished business with The Machine and don't have Sting around to back you up this time. Your time as TNT champion is coming to an end. 74% overall...hmm, Darby and Cage are over, the feud is hot, Taz not at the same level of overness but he can talk unlike Cage or Darby, figured charisma would win out over overness but guess not, strange algorithms


Segment 4:

Fresh off of clinching a #1 contendership opportunity at Blood and Guts, Christopher Daniels and Frankie Kazarian were in action against TH2. Mid-match, FTR and Shawn Spears walked out onto the stage and observed while Tully Blanchard stepped on commentary for a few minutes and called bullshit that AEW did a #1 contendership match pulling names out of a hat when his clients weren't eligible since they had another match that night. It's an injustice as everyone knows FTR are the best team in the division.

FTR played no part in the actual match though, which, by the way, was fucking awesome. Daniels and Kazarian can still go and Daniels continues to do things a man his age shouldn't be able to. Angel's Wings on Jack Evans ends it. ****1/4, 86% overall


Segment 5:

We're backstage for an interview with Cody Rhodes, still sporting a bandaged forehead having needed to get stitched up after getting busted wide open at Blood and Guts. If the injuries were a price to pay to honor the legacy of dad by being in the match he built, so be it. It was one of the proudest moments of his car......WHACK! Eddie Kingston has jumped Cody! Clubs his with rights and lefts and throws him face first into one of the big metal cargo boxes backstage.

Officials and the Natural Nightmares hit the room to back Kingston away while the cameras pan to Cody whose stitch job has been busted back open. 92% overall


Segment 6:

Adam Page, sporting a brand new Dark Order-themed t-shirt now available at ShopAEW.com, is in action against one of Matt Hardy's cohorts in the Hardy Party, Marq Quen. Matt Hardy on commentary gets grilled by the announcers for welching on his bet, and Hardy gets defensive.

Solid athletic contest from the two in the ring but there was only one outcome here - Hangman wins with the Buckshot Lariat that Quen does a full flip sell on for good measure. He gets the win. Hardy and Isisah Kassidy jump into the ring and corner Hangman but The Dark Order run out for the save again. ***, 76% overall


Segment 7:

Hangman gets some celebratory beers and also a microphone. "Matt, you know what you did on Saturday. A contract is only as good as the people signing it, so since you signed it, no wonder it was full of shit."

Matt gets defensive again, citing the fine print in the contract and calling Hangman's claims outrageous, egregious, and preposterous. Now that Hangman's offended him, it's time to make Dark Order pay. He challenges Hangman to pick one of his Dark Order dorks to face him next week. 87% overall


Segment 8:

It's *gasp* the second women's match of the evening! Dr. Britt Baker faces off against Riho. Announcers mention that neither Awesome Kong nor Hikaru Shida are here tonight after their brutal Kendo Stick match on Saturday, and that this match could go a long way toward determining who will be stepping up to Kong next. Baker and Riho have themselves a solid little match that sees Reba pull a turnbuckle off the middle rope which Baker uses to slingshot Riho into and then get a cheap rollup victory. ***, 74% overall


Segment 9:

Our final match of the evening. Despite being in a war just days ago, PAC and Jon Moxley refused a night off and insisted on being booked for action tonight, and they were paired off against Eddie Kingston's right hand men The Butcher and The Blade. The overness discrepancy between the teams meant it was a pretty short write up, but Mox and PAC are so over it didn't destroy the segment rating. I imagine this was a fairly brisk, chaotic brawl ending with Mox pinning Blade following the Paradigm Shift. ***1/4, 81% overall


Segment 10:

Mox and PAC each grab mics after the match. Both of them want Kenny Omega. Mox still never received a rematch for the AEW World Title, and PAC not only got screwed in his opportunity but he made Omega surrender like a bitch on Saturday, so he deserves another go at it to. If Kenny doesn't agree to give them the shots they deserve, he'll need to watch his back.

But perhaps Mox and PAC should've been watching their own backs as they were jumped by Kenny and "The Machine Gun" Karl Anderson. We haven't seen Karl since losing to Moxley in a tag team tables match at Revolution. The heels take advantage of the faces having lingering injuries Saturday and coming off of a physical match tonight, and the faces are left down and out. 86% overall


Segment 11:

"Judas" by Fozzy hits and out come the Inner Circle for what was promoted as their farewell address.

Jericho explains his reasoning for disbanding the group. The Inner Circle was founded on the very first episode and for much of AEW's history they've been the most dominating faction in the company. But things have slid over the past months. He saw the infighting and the dissension in the ranks. He saw the results not coming up the way they wanted to.

He threatened to break the group up two months ago, but relented and hoped he could find a way to make it work. When he made the ultimatum that it was more gold for the Inner Circle or bust, that was the final test he needed to see if the group could still thrive.

He's got a lot to say to everyone in this ring. To the original members of the group - Sammy, I picked you because you reminded me of me in my mid 20s, and I can see how bright your future will be. Jake, you and I have been down the road in other places before, I know you've dabbled with MMA but I brought you hear because I knew there was so much more you could give to the wrestling business. Santana and Ortiz, I think you're going to end up being the best team in this company, and I feel like shit that I let my own ego get in the way of giving you the tag title shot you deserved.

He then turns to MJF and his bodyguard Wardlow. "Max, this group all went to hell on November 7, 2020...the day I let you join the Inner Circle. We were doing fine with just the five of us, I should have my head examined for ever considering letting someone else in.

Don't get me wrong, you're a hell of a talent, and I mean no disrespect - but you're an asshole. You were an asshole when you joined, a bigger asshole since you've been here, and you'll probably become an even bigger asshole in the future. And you know what? I like that about you. Sometimes you have to rub people the wrong way to get in this business. But there's no way we can continue this group without you.

Look guys, I'm getting kinda schmaltzy on you all, but the point is this - we're all incredible talents. Staying together will just hold us back. I think I need to hit the road for a while and do some self-reflection, but I want you guys to start next week as a clean slate, and I know you'll make me proud. I've got some bubbly in the back for us to enjoy our last night together, but let's flip off the camera one last time for old time's sake."



The group all hug it out after the finger as Judas plays again. Santana and Ortiz are the first to exit the ring and start heading up the ramp. Then Jake Hager, then Sammy Guevara. Jericho waves to the crowd from the turnbuckle, hops down, turns around, WARDLOW LEVELS HIM WITH A LARIAT! MJF then walks over the Jericho and locks him in the Salt of the Earth.

The other four rush back down to the ring and back off Wardlow/MJF. It's a 4 on 2 staredown, until all of a sudden, all 6 of them start stomping a mudhole into Jericho! What in the world! Jericho eats a bunch of finishers and is left dead in the ring with the other 6 men giving him the middle finger as we go off the air. 97% overall


83% show rating

[Evil Vito]

Behind the velvet rope EWR pick...here's what happens in-game when the leader gets booted from a stable

[M-A-G]

Originally Posted by Conspiracy Victim Vito Behind the velvet rope EWR pick...here's what happens in-game when the leader gets booted from a stable

Go home, game, you're drunk.

[M-A-G]

[QUOTE=Conspiracy Victim Vito;5430155]

Originally Posted by Conspiracy Victim Vito Tonight's results are sponsored by Brandi Rhodes, Penelope Ford, and Britt Baker's pool party

I mean....I fucking hate you....That's another one-handed session we're looking at here.

AEW Dark: March 30, 2021: -Ricky Starks def. QT Marshall -Scorpio Sky def. jack Evans -Chuck Taylor def. Brian Pillman Jr. -Awesome Kong def. Shanna -The Young Bucks def. Bad Romance

Awesome Kong's continuing murders of bitches is only exacerbating the problem.

AEW Dynamite: March 31, 2021 Segment 1: We open up in a conference room for another town hall featuring the losing Blood and Guts team and their associated stables. Kenny Omega and Don Callis are trying to keep this huge group of baddies on the same page despite Blood and Guts being over and Kenny being the one to surrender. Don Callis tells the group that the record book does not tell the whole story. Kenny Omega, as the reigning AEW World champion and best wrestler in the world, has to protect his interests. He was making a savvy business decision and he'd expect anybody else in the room to do the same thing under those circumstances. As Kenny and Callis continue to talk Omega up, the group slowly but surely start exiting the room, leaving the pair bragging in an empty conference room. And so ends the Legion of Doom. 87% overall

NOOO! Not the end of the Legion of Doom! Callis is such an awesome douche, though.

Segment 2: It's the in ring return of the Galaxy's Greatest Alien Kris Statlander, fresh off of her surprise return on Saturday. She's facing the woman she faced last summer in the match she got injured - Penelope Ford. There's some commotion outside the ring between their seconds, so as to allow Orange Cassidy and Miro to continue their feud...but in-ring it's essentially a showcase for Statlander to get everyone re-acquainted with her. Big Bang Theory gets Kris the win. **1/2, 67% overall

I mean, the Big Bang Theory. That's just such a fucking awesome name. There may be something to this Kris Statlander.

Segment 3: Taz is backstage with Brian Cage. Now that they got out of that bullshit Omega meeting, time for more pressing matters - Darby Allin, we're still not done here. You have unfinished business with The Machine and don't have Sting around to back you up this time. Your time as TNT champion is coming to an end. 74% overall...hmm, Darby and Cage are over, the feud is hot, Taz not at the same level of overness but he can talk unlike Cage or Darby, figured charisma would win out over overness but guess not, strange algorithms

Yeah, every so often the game doesn't seem to care about a person's charisma rating. I've had times where people in their nineties deliver a segment that only gets like 80% or so. Other factors might include their attributes like Superstar Look. Also TNT Champion is a nice little name.

Segment 4: Fresh off of clinching a #1 contendership opportunity at Blood and Guts, Christopher Daniels and Frankie Kazarian were in action against TH2. Mid-match, FTR and Shawn Spears walked out onto the stage and observed while Tully Blanchard stepped on commentary for a few minutes and called bullshit that AEW did a #1 contendership match pulling names out of a hat when his clients weren't eligible since they had another match that night. It's an injustice as everyone knows FTR are the best team in the division. FTR played no part in the actual match though, which, by the way, was fucking awesome. Daniels and Kazarian can still go and Daniels continues to do things a man his age shouldn't be able to. Angel's Wings on Jack Evans ends it. ****1/4, 86% overall

It's weird because I don't think the games in the beginning gave high stats to Kazarian. Maybe I'm thinking of someone else. Regardless, screw it. Use them for them snowflakes!

Segment 5: We're backstage for an interview with Cody Rhodes, still sporting a bandaged forehead having needed to get stitched up after getting busted wide open at Blood and Guts. If the injuries were a price to pay to honor the legacy of dad by being in the match he built, so be it. It was one of the proudest moments of his car......WHACK! Eddie Kingston has jumped Cody! Clubs his with rights and lefts and throws him face first into one of the big metal cargo boxes backstage. Officials and the Natural Nightmares hit the room to back Kingston away while the cameras pan to Cody whose stitch job has been busted back open. 92% overall

FIRST BLOOD MATCH!!!

Segment 6: Adam Page, sporting a brand new Dark Order-themed t-shirt now available at ShopAEW.com, is in action against one of Matt Hardy's cohorts in the Hardy Party, Marq Quen. Matt Hardy on commentary gets grilled by the announcers for welching on his bet, and Hardy gets defensive. Solid athletic contest from the two in the ring but there was only one outcome here - Hangman wins with the Buckshot Lariat that Quen does a full flip sell on for good measure. He gets the win. Hardy and Isisah Kassidy jump into the ring and corner Hangman but The Dark Order run out for the save again. ***, 76% overall

BAH GAWD! ADAM PAGE PULLED A MICK FOLEY WITH A CHEAP PLUG!!! DOES HE HAVE NO SHAME? DOES HE HAVE NO DECENCY??!?

Segment 7: Hangman gets some celebratory beers and also a microphone. "Matt, you know what you did on Saturday. A contract is only as good as the people signing it, so since you signed it, no wonder it was full of shit." Matt gets defensive again, citing the fine print in the contract and calling Hangman's claims outrageous, egregious, and preposterous. Now that Hangman's offended him, it's time to make Dark Order pay. He challenges Hangman to pick one of his Dark Order dorks to face him next week. 87% overall

Good ol' fashioned stable wars. I love it.

Segment 8: It's *gasp* the second women's match of the evening! Dr. Britt Baker faces off against Riho. Announcers mention that neither Awesome Kong nor Hikaru Shida are here tonight after their brutal Kendo Stick match on Saturday, and that this match could go a long way toward determining who will be stepping up to Kong next. Baker and Riho have themselves a solid little match that sees Reba pull a turnbuckle off the middle rope which Baker uses to slingshot Riho into and then get a cheap rollup victory. ***, 74% overall

I mean, is the chance of being the next bitch Kong murders really worth fighting over?

Segment 9: Our final match of the evening. Despite being in a war just days ago, PAC and Jon Moxley refused a night off and insisted on being booked for action tonight, and they were paired off against Eddie Kingston's right hand men The Butcher and The Blade. The overness discrepancy between the teams meant it was a pretty short write up, but Mox and PAC are so over it didn't destroy the segment rating. I imagine this was a fairly brisk, chaotic brawl ending with Mox pinning Blade following the Paradigm Shift. ***1/4, 81% overall Segment 10: Mox and PAC each grab mics after the match. Both of them want Kenny Omega. Mox still never received a rematch for the AEW World Title, and PAC not only got screwed in his opportunity but he made Omega surrender like a bitch on Saturday, so he deserves another go at it to. If Kenny doesn't agree to give them the shots they deserve, he'll need to watch his back. But perhaps Mox and PAC should've been watching their own backs as they were jumped by Kenny and "The Machine Gun" Karl Anderson. We haven't seen Karl since losing to Moxley in a tag team tables match at Revolution. The heels take advantage of the faces having lingering injuries Saturday and coming off of a physical match tonight, and the faces are left down and out. 86% overall

You busting out a fatal four-way, too?

Segment 11: "Judas" by Fozzy hits and out come the Inner Circle for what was promoted as their farewell address. Jericho explains his reasoning for disbanding the group. The Inner Circle was founded on the very first episode and for much of AEW's history they've been the most dominating faction in the company. But things have slid over the past months. He saw the infighting and the dissension in the ranks. He saw the results not coming up the way they wanted to. He threatened to break the group up two months ago, but relented and hoped he could find a way to make it work. When he made the ultimatum that it was more gold for the Inner Circle or bust, that was the final test he needed to see if the group could still thrive. He's got a lot to say to everyone in this ring. To the original members of the group - Sammy, I picked you because you reminded me of me in my mid 20s, and I can see how bright your future will be. Jake, you and I have been down the road in other places before, I know you've dabbled with MMA but I brought you hear because I knew there was so much more you could give to the wrestling business. Santana and Ortiz, I think you're going to end up being the best team in this company, and I feel like shit that I let my own ego get in the way of giving you the tag title shot you deserved. He then turns to MJF and his bodyguard Wardlow. "Max, this group all went to hell on November 7, 2020...the day I let you join the Inner Circle. We were doing fine with just the five of us, I should have my head examined for ever considering letting someone else in. Don't get me wrong, you're a hell of a talent, and I mean no disrespect - but you're an asshole. You were an asshole when you joined, a bigger asshole since you've been here, and you'll probably become an even bigger asshole in the future. And you know what? I like that about you. Sometimes you have to rub people the wrong way to get in this business. But there's no way we can continue this group without you. Look guys, I'm getting kinda schmaltzy on you all, but the point is this - we're all incredible talents. Staying together will just hold us back. I think I need to hit the road for a while and do some self-reflection, but I want you guys to start next week as a clean slate, and I know you'll make me proud. I've got some bubbly in the back for us to enjoy our last night together, but let's flip off the camera one last time for old time's sake." The group all hug it out after the finger as Judas plays again. Santana and Ortiz are the first to exit the ring and start heading up the ramp. Then Jake Hager, then Sammy Guevara. Jericho waves to the crowd from the turnbuckle, hops down, turns around, WARDLOW LEVELS HIM WITH A LARIAT! MJF then walks over the Jericho and locks him in the Salt of the Earth. The other four rush back down to the ring and back off Wardlow/MJF. It's a 4 on 2 staredown, until all of a sudden, all 6 of them start stomping a mudhole into Jericho! What in the world! Jericho eats a bunch of finishers and is left dead in the ring with the other 6 men giving him the middle finger as we go off the air. 97% overall 83% show rating

LOL @ the swerve. Is this a face turn for Jericho, though?

[Evil Vito]

It's one of those things where he's over and popular enough to turn face from it even though, character-wise, he's been a heel for AEW's entire 2 year run so far so he probably deserved it. But really even though I booked it as a face turn in-game, I imagine in reality the full fledged face turn would be when he eventually returns. His in-ring career is winding down and I imagine he's got one face run left in him especially given the verbal battles he can have with MJF.

I've said this but my EWR 4.2 legal cheat is to turn people into managers when I want to give them a break from TV, this prevents their morale from being destroyed - especially the main eventers. Allows me to safely have Jericho sell the betrayal for a month or two before I bring him back for the feud.

[Evil Vito]

Oh shit, I finished writing up my last show at like 12:30 in the morning I didn't even realize it was the end of the month. End of March notes:

The following birthdays occured this month: Sting (62), Christopher Daniels (51), Jake Hager (39), Matt Sydal (38), Luchasaurus (34), Matt Jackson (34), Alex Reynolds (33), Trent? (32), Maxwell Jacob Friedman (24)

-Sting has announced that he will retire at the end of the month. So much for leveraging his 100 overness to help get some segments over

-Christopher Daniels has decided to become a non-wrestler! Well, at least I gave him a nice couple of weeks and I can give SCU their #1 contender shot at the next PPV since his in ring stats are good. Of more import, he has 86 charisma which would make him a usable non-wrestler, which is good because he has an unsackable deal, which is a neat little attention to detail in my game files since in real life he has an office job as the head of talent relations

-Wardlow is the only wrestler with 3 months left on his deal, I grant him an extension

-Of my 37 workers in developmental, Yuka Sakazaki and Colten Gunn are the only ones who feel ready for a call-up. Sakazaki's stats should be usable, I had just sent her down so as to not overcrowd my division. Colten on the other hand, who just started wrestling last November in real life....uhhh, best stat is a 54 brawl. Looks like I'll have to give him the boot even though it'll piss off Billy and Austin Gunn.

-Jake Roberts has returned from injury.

-Serena Deeb returns from a 2 week suspension I gave her for shooting on her colleagues in a podcast.

-Danny Davis who I'd signed on as an extra trainer at the start of the game has already retired.

-WWE loses a top staff member with noted racist Michael Hayes retiring out of the blue.

-People around the wrestling world retiring at the end of April: Awesome Andy, Donovan, Masakatsu Funaki, Megumi Yabushita, Rick Steiner, Masao Inoue, Super Porky, and The Warlord

Wrestling Observer: Karl Anderson returned on last night's Dynamite after not appearing since the previous month's Revolution PPV. Of note was that Anderson returned alone and not with his longtime tag team partner Doc Gallows.

The Good Brothers first became a team in 2013 in New Japan Pro Wrestling, where they were three time IWGP Tag Team champions. They left for WWE in 2016 and held the Raw Tag Team Titles twice in their four year stint. After being released amid WWE's coronavirus cutbacks in spring 2020, they signed with Impact Wrestling and quickly won their Tag Titles as well. Up until last month, the pair was working with Impact, NJPW, and AEW.

Circumstances changed two weeks ago as Doc Gallows decided to surprise everybody by moving to Mexico and signing a written contract with CMLL, abruptly ending his partnership with Anderson in the process.

Generally considered to be the better in-ring performer of the two, Anderson is still working for three companies at the moment and following his return to AEW television, it remains to be seen if the company will consider signing him to an exclusive contract.

[M-A-G]

You had to have expected that Sting retirement sooner rather than later. Hope you've got some way to use him as sort of a send off. Ditto for Daniels. This could be a way to send Kazarian off on a meaningful singles run.

I'd shoot all over Serena Deeb.

Now how can Michael Hayes be racist when he makes a better black man than Mark Henry?

[M-A-G]

SmackDown!: June 15, 2040

Opening Match: Jordan Demiras vs. Joey Osbourne
Before the match, Demiras wants to talk about his title match at Night of Champions. Hotbody isn't here tonight as he's off trying to find every and any legal avenue that can get him out of the predicament he's in. Demiras thinks that we all might have gotten a bit off track these last few weeks. You see, it's not about dance parties, stipulation matches, affairs, press conferences, or any other nonsense. It's about who is the best in the cruiserweight division and it sure as hell isn't some punk who has a 24/7 pity party when things don't go his way. Demiras is taking back the Cruiserweight Title one way or another at Night of Champions not because he's standing up for some woman's honor or because he's pissed off enough. He's taking it back because he is simply better than Michael Hotbody.

Well with that out of the way the match proceeds as scheduled. Demiras is all business here as the match is geared towards putting him over. He picks up the win after a top rope Axe Kick. ****1/4, 90 overall.

Backstage it looks like Jenna Kyle is here ready to give an interview but she's cut off by Nathan Quinn who approaches her. Nathan saw what went down on Raw and was incredibly impressed by what Jenna did in putting on quite the effort in the Iron Woman match. It was a shame to see her lose, however, but there is opportunity in failure. Quinn is approaching Jenna as a fellow countryman, even though Jenna doesn't proclaim to hail from down under these days. The two of them can be quite a force! Just look at Lonny Richards and Leah who are under Quinn's watch. Jenna expresses her extreme disinterest and warns Quinn to keep his charges away from her as she won't repeat herself.

In another location backstage, we do get an interview proper, this time with the challenger to the Intercontinental Title at Night of Champion, Kyle Jacobs. He talks about how he had made it clear that his sole interest in his showdown with Brandon Reigns was the Intercontinental Title but Reigns just had to go and bring family into it. Kyle isn't ashamed of where he came from any more than Reigns doesn't feel any shame for what he did to Jake Connelly. Reigns can try to play this card as often as he wants but Jacobs is focused like he's never been focused before. He will not be derailed from his quest to get back the title.

Second Match: Ozzy Mandias and Martyn LaSalle vs. Romeo Valiente and Jason Sorola
Back-to-back cruiserweight action? What sorcery is this??? Anywho, it's a hell of a display that unfortunately ends when Valiente beats Ozzy back into the ring for a cheap count out win. The dance continues. ****1/2, 93% overall.

It's super special in-ring interview time as Faith Connors makes her way out just days removed from her victory on Raw in the Iron Woman Match. Faith isn't sure where she and Jenna go from here but she's confident that it won't be as enemies. She's been hearing the buzz that what went down on Raw quite possibly puts her in the front of the line after Night of Champions as far as getting a Women's Title opportunity goes. That's certainly all well and good but there's been a certain somebody who apparently sees Faith as an itch that needs scratching.

Cue Hannah McCormick who comes out looking disgusted. She's impressed by what she saw on Raw but she doesn't see it as some sort of starting point for either Faith or Jenna. It was a swan song; one last big hurrah to satisfy the chumps in the audience who drool all over them. Hannah is tired of both of them and wants to begin the important process of knocking them down a peg, starting with Faith. She issues a challenge for this Monday night on Raw and Faith is more than happy to accept.

Backstage, Noah Carmichael runs into Haven. Noah lets Haven know that he's not happy about the situation at Night of Champions anymore than Haven is. The ending of Backlash has been a constant nagging sensation in the back of Noah's mind and it's driving him crazy. Haven counters that he'll be more than happy to destroy Fleming and McDaniels so that Carmichael can take a stab at alleviating his ailment...or more accurately, Haven will alleviate it for him and leave the new Unified World Champion.

Third Match: Orlando Kincaid vs. Jesse Capalbo
Just a match to give a rub to Kincaid. He cheats his way to victory here with a steel chain wrapped around his fist. ****1/2, 90% overall.

Fourth Match: WWE Unified World Champion Butch Fleming and Quentin McDaniels vs. The Tokyo Titans
Fleming lets McDaniels know that this match should be a warm up for Night of Champions when they're on the same page and take Carmichael and Haven out of the picture. This is actually more even than it should be all things considered but eventually Fleming tags himself in and dumps McDaniels so he can hit the Slaughterhouse Special on Wu and take the win himself. ****1/2, 93% overall.

More in-ring super special time, this time it's with the Women's Champion Sonya Braddock. She wants to talk about all of the mudslinging going on in the women's division right now, with everyone jockeying for a position in the spotlight. That spotlight really only means that you're set to be the next victim of Braddock. All the women who have made it a point to ask for attention and glory had better pay close attention to what goes down at Night of Champions and then take a moment to reflect on what they really find important in their lives. Naomi Bailey can call herself Queen until frogs do fractions. She had better have something more than that once that bells rings.

Sadly, Naomi has been making her way into the ring behind Braddock during her promo and attacks her. It's more than just one simple move this time around and she uses the Women's Title belt to knock down the champion and offers some trash talk for good measure.

Fifth Match: Kerry Cemenko vs. Hugo
Fuck it, why not? Xavier Cross is at ringside relishing in watching Hugo just manhandle his nemesis. Cemenko is not so easily dismantled, however, and musters up enough of a comeback to goad Cross into running in to attack him for the DQ. Cross offers up some more punishment after the bell. ****1/2 , 85% overall.

MAIN EVENT: The Hunters (Ryan Pattillo, Gavin Jones, and The Play Pals) vs. Salvatore Scabbia and the Academy
The Play Pals' opponents, the Unified Tag Team Champions watch from the stage as the match unfolds. It's six-man main event goodness at its most goodiness. The end comes when Rick Hilton runs down to mess with Michael Haywood and Scabbia capitalizes on the distraction to lock in the Omerta for the submission win. ****1/2, 90% overall.

Overall show rating: 87%

[Evil Vito]

Originally Posted by M-A-G You had to have expected that Sting retirement sooner rather than later. Hope you've got some way to use him as sort of a send off. Ditto for Daniels. This could be a way to send Kazarian off on a meaningful singles run.

I know that the game's algorithm makes it so that the bulk of the retirements or conversions to non-wrestlers happens on the month of their birthday. I was already prepared for Daniels to become a non-wrestler, and I fully expect it to happen to Jericho in November. I have a couple of other dudes in their 50s (Luther and Billy) but they're Dark fodder so that'll be no loss if/when they retire this year.

But manager/non-wrestler retirements are a bit more of a crapshoot since they could feasibly stick around forever. I'm not surprised by Sting's retirement BUT I was hoping the game would give me another year or two with him, would've probably made him my on-screen authority figure for guaranteed ratings boosts.

Based on this news I think I've got an idea of how to see him out. I might give him one last match at the PPV....it won't be good for the snowflakes but it'd be a 100% overness guy vs. a mid-90s overness guy so it should be a big win for a segment.

[M-A-G]

Raw: June 18, 2040

It's the final Raw before Night of Champions! Let's get to it!

Opening Match: Lonny Richards and Leah vs. Caleb Greene and Jamie Roderick
The clients of Nathan Quinn are quite full of themselves here. Leah in particular is making some major strides in getting over. Sadly, Nathan Quinn can't leave well enough alone and helps Richards in scoring the cheap pin after some interference. ****1/2, 91% overall.

In-ring super special talky time with Jason Sorola. He feels like he's been getting overlooked lately and being stuck in the mire with Martyn LaSalle hasn't been helping. Sorola accuses LaSalle of using him to regain his relevance here in the WWE but Sorola isn't having it. Naturally this brings LaSalle himself to contest the issue. LaSalle doesn't want to make anyone feel like they're being held back on his account. Anyone who feels that way is more than welcome to try to take their shot. In fact, that gives LaSalle an idea: why not he and Sorola go one-on-one at Night of Champions? Sorola seems open to the idea. This all attracts the attention of Lisa Benton who appears on the big screen and offers to raise the stakes. She'll not only sanction the match but she'll make it so that the winner receives a match for the WWE Cruiserweight Title!

Second Match: Naomi Bailey vs. Tania
Damn, these two mesh really well. Naomi makes no apologies for what she did to Sonya Braddock on SmackDown! because the champion had it coming with her flapping gums and complete disrespect for the Queen of Queens. Tania shows no fear here and keeps up with Her Majesty. Billie Padgett just can't leave well enough alone, though, and offers a helping hand in the form of a chair to Tania's back allowing Naomi to score a roll-up win. EVERYONE SLOW THEIR ROLE!!! Sonya Braddock is here and looks like she's ready to rip somebody's arms off. Nobody seems willing to test that hypothesis and the ring clears as Braddock stands tall. *****, 94% overall.

Backstage, Kerry Cemenko takes some shots at Xavier Cross ahead of their match to determine who will be next to receive a shot at the Unified World Title. Cemenko admits to being a tad envious of Cross and the lengthy reign he had in addition to headlining WrestleMania. It all makes Cemenko wonder why Cross has to go to such lengths such as beating him down like on SmackDown!? It can't be because he's afraid of being overshadowed, right?

Elsewhere backstage, Faith Connors is warming up in her usual way for her match tonight against Hannah McCormick. Nathan Quinn slides into the picture to try get her attention but in a funny bit she simply performs her parkour stunts around him essentially blowing him off. He yells at her that he simply wants to ask a question which finally gets her to stop and offer her ear. Nathan wants to know if Faith can talk some sense into Jenna Kyle and hopefully get her to reconsider joining his elite club as a client. Faith tells him that she hasn't heard from Jenna since their match last week and isn't sure on what terms the two of them are on. Quinn is barking up the wrong tree. Even if she was on good terms with Jenna, Faith would simply tell her that she made a wise choice staying away from someone like Quinn. Quinn counters that perhaps Faith herself should be a bit more open to Quinn's services, like Leah, for instance. Faith simply tells him that all she needs to know about his clients is that they associate with a sorry sack of crap like Quinn. She demands that he get the hell away from her.

Third Match: The Hunters vs. Salvatore Scabbia and The WWE Unified Tag Team Champions The Future Foundation
More 6-man goodness but with everyone's rivals proper. The faces look to BUILD MOMENTUM here going into Night of Champions. The end comes when Vivian Merrick's feminine wiles backfire on her when she tries them out on Ryan Pattillo and that allows him to hit Julian Merrick with the Shutdown for the win. Afterward, Scabbia locks in the Omerta on Pattillo and refuses to let go as things break down into chaos. ****1/2, 92% overall.

Fourth Match: Faith Connors vs. Hannah McCormick
I love both these women. I really think I've been giving Hannah the shaft but she's a trooper, though. Their quality is on full display here and looks like Connors has this in the bag but Leah runs down to trip her up for the DQ. The heels do the double team as the crowd looks to the entrance ramp for some assistance for Faith, chanting for Jenna Kyle but to no avail. *****, 96% overall.

It's Hot Button time with everyone's favorite host the WWE Cruiserweight Champion, Former Cruiserweight Champion-Elect Michael Hotbody! He apologizes for not being on SmackDown! but he's been meeting with his lawyers AROUND THE CLOCK looking to make the cage match between he and Jordan Demiras null and void! As much as Hotbody pays his lawyers, he expected results and he expected them days ago! Sadly, Hotbody is surrounded by morons! He's not giving up though because he has one last card to play and it's one that he had hoped to not use but there aren't that many options left. Appealing to Demiras is a waste of time because he's so full of nonsense self-righteous indignation that he won't listen to reason. So with that said, Hotbody is asking Lisa Benton to come out right now and hear him out and she had better not think about casting him aside because he'll sit in the middle of the ring and hold up the show!

Lisa Benton eventually comes out, not in the mood to put up with anymore of Hotbody's nonsense. She lets him know that everything is already official. The ink is dry, the tickets have been sold, and the cage is on its way. There's no getting out of it unless Hotbody wants to surrender the belt so he needs to quit wasting everyone's time. Hotbody is undeterred because he really, really, really, REALLY doesn't want to go through with it. Benton needs to consider the harm that might come to Demiras being trapping inside a cage with Hotbody, with nowhere to go! Loverboy will be quite useless to Benton and it will all be on her head!

"THAT'S IT! I SWEAR TO GOD ALMIGHTY IF YOU SAY ONE MORE WORD ABOUT ME AND DEMIRAS HAVING AN AFFAIR I WILL STRIP YOU OF THE TITLE AND FIRE YOU RIGHT NOW! YOU got yourself into this mess and YOU can get yourself out of it if you're the great champion you tell everyone you are! I AM SICK OF THE WHINING! You WILL go through with this match on Sunday or you can find yourself another job. END OF STORY!"

With that she slams her microphone down and looks to leave but Hotbody drops on the ground and grabs her leg refusing to let go and actually BEGS to cancel the match. It's quite the pathetic scene. Finally, Benton kicks him off and simply shakes her head. Hotbody is FURIOUS. "You know what? Forget favoritism and incompetence; the main reason you're doing all of this is because YOU'RE A VINDICTIVE BITCH!!!"

Benton walks back towards Hotbody and leans into his mic and simply says, "And don't you forget it." With that she takes her leave ignoring Hotbody's continued pleas. Finally he gives up and turns his attention to Zed Jones and puts the blame on him. "THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! All you had to do last week was beat Jordan Demiras! THAT'S ALL YOU HAD TO DO! YOU HAD ONE JOB!!! I'M SURROUNDED BY MORONS!" Zed gives Hotbody an annoyed look but Hotbody isn't finished. "DON'T LOOK AT ME THAT WAY! YOU SCREWED UP!!! YOU SCREWED ME!!!" Zed looks really uncomfortable and simply walks away from Hotbody leaving the champion alone and in disbelief.

Fifth Match: The Royal Effect vs. The Wasteland
How about some quality tag team action after all of that drama? This is designed for The Royal Effect's benefit as they look to bounce back into the thick of things. McKay gets the pin on Drakken after the Mass Effect. *****, 97% overall. I mean...damn,

Sixth Match: WWE Intercontinental Champion Brandon Reigns vs. Mathias
Reigns also wants to BUILD MOMENTUM going into his title defense on Sunday. He mouths off from time to time at Kyle Jacobs via the cameras. He gets a count out win here but doesn't have time to celebrate as Kyle Jacobs makes an appearance and chases him out of the ring. ****1/2, 91% overall.

MAIN EVENT: Quentin McDaniels vs. Haven
Two of the participants in Night of Champions' main event go head-to-head here. McDaniels makes it a point to call out Haven on his lack of a singles title to his name in contrast to the other competitors and continues to claim that he's not afraid of him. It's a moot point as Haven does a good job of simply pounding the shit out of McDaniels regardless. It's a nice dramatic affair that ends when Haven looks for the Sting of Solace but Butch Fleming drags him out for the DQ. McDaniels is NOT happy with this and gets in the face of the champion. They put aside their squabbling to deal with a recovering Haven but Noah Carmichael runs down to make things crazier and we have ourselves a four way brawl! *****, 94% overall.

Overall show rating: 91%

[Evil Vito]

Originally Posted by M-A-G Backstage it looks like Jenna Kyle is here ready to give an interview but she's cut off by Nathan Quinn who approaches her. Nathan saw what went down on Raw and was incredibly impressed by what Jenna did in putting on quite the effort in the Iron Woman match. It was a shame to see her lose, however, but there is opportunity in failure. Quinn is approaching Jenna as a fellow countryman, even though Jenna doesn't proclaim to hail from down under these days. The two of them can be quite a force! Just look at Lonny Richards and Leah who are under Quinn's watch. Jenna expresses her extreme disinterest and warns Quinn to keep his charges away from her as she won't repeat herself.

At least he shot his shot instead of sliding into her DMs.

Second Match: Ozzy Mandias and Martyn LaSalle vs. Romeo Valiente and Jason Sorola Back-to-back cruiserweight action? What sorcery is this??? Anywho, it's a hell of a display that unfortunately ends when Valiente beats Ozzy back into the ring for a cheap count out win. The dance continues. ****1/2, 93% overall.

I think back to 2003/2004 when SmackDown had a fairly loaded cruiserweight division and they were often relegated to Velocity, sigh.

Cue Hannah McCormick who comes out looking disgusted. She's impressed by what she saw on Raw but she doesn't see it as some sort of starting point for either Faith or Jenna. It was a swan song; one last big hurrah to satisfy the chumps in the audience who drool all over them.

Yes they certainly did

Fourth Match: WWE Unified World Champion Butch Fleming and Quentin McDaniels vs. The Tokyo Titans Fleming lets McDaniels know that this match should be a warm up for Night of Champions when they're on the same page and take Carmichael and Haven out of the picture. This is actually more even than it should be all things considered but eventually Fleming tags himself in and dumps McDaniels so he can hit the Slaughterhouse Special on Wu and take the win himself. ****1/2, 93% overall.

Heel stealing the pin is one of my favorite tropes. As is the heels working together in a fatal four way only for the partnership to inevitably dissolve.

MAIN EVENT: The Hunters (Ryan Pattillo, Gavin Jones, and The Play Pals) vs. Salvatore Scabbia and the Academy The Play Pals' opponents, the Unified Tag Team Champions watch from the stage as the match unfolds. It's six-man main event goodness at its most goodiness. The end comes when Rick Hilton runs down to mess with Michael Haywood and Scabbia capitalizes on the distraction to lock in the Omerta for the submission win. ****1/2, 90% overall.

Achievement unlocked: Screwjob

[M-A-G]

Originally Posted by Conspiracy Victim Vito At least he shot his shot instead of sliding into her DMs. I think back to 2003/2004 when SmackDown had a fairly loaded cruiserweight division and they were often relegated to Velocity, sigh. Yes they certainly did Heel stealing the pin is one of my favorite tropes. As is the heels working together in a fatal four way only for the partnership to inevitably dissolve. Achievement unlocked: Screwjob

I'd take a shot at the real Jenna, if only to get all giddy over her accent.

Ugh, don't remind me of that time period of burial. The writers could bend over backwards to find shit for the Diva Search rejects but fucking Paul London sits on his ass looking for a PPV payday.

Word has it that the arena cleanup crew made a killing in overtime after the Iron Woman match.

[Evil Vito]

Originally Posted by M-A-G It's Hot Button time with everyone's favorite host the WWE Cruiserweight Champion, Former Cruiserweight Champion-Elect Michael Hotbody! He apologizes for not being on SmackDown! but he's been meeting with his lawyers AROUND THE CLOCK looking to make the cage match between he and Jordan Demiras null and void! As much as Hotbody pays his lawyers, he expected results and he expected them days ago! Sadly, Hotbody is surrounded by morons! He's not giving up though because he has one last card to play and it's one that he had hoped to not use but there aren't that many options left. Appealing to Demiras is a waste of time because he's so full of nonsense self-righteous indignation that he won't listen to reason. So with that said, Hotbody is asking Lisa Benton to come out right now and hear him out and she had better not think about casting him aside because he'll sit in the middle of the ring and hold up the show! Lisa Benton eventually comes out, not in the mood to put up with anymore of Hotbody's nonsense. She lets him know that everything is already official. The ink is dry, the tickets have been sold, and the cage is on its way. There's no getting out of it unless Hotbody wants to surrender the belt so he needs to quit wasting everyone's time. Hotbody is undeterred because he really, really, really, REALLY doesn't want to go through with it. Benton needs to consider the harm that might come to Demiras being trapping inside a cage with Hotbody, with nowhere to go! Loverboy will be quite useless to Benton and it will all be on her head! "THAT'S IT! I SWEAR TO GOD ALMIGHTY IF YOU SAY ONE MORE WORD ABOUT ME AND DEMIRAS HAVING AN AFFAIR I WILL STRIP YOU OF THE TITLE AND FIRE YOU RIGHT NOW! YOU got yourself into this mess and YOU can get yourself out of it if you're the great champion you tell everyone you are! I AM SICK OF THE WHINING! You WILL go through with this match on Sunday or you can find yourself another job. END OF STORY!" With that she slams her microphone down and looks to leave but Hotbody drops on the ground and grabs her leg refusing to let go and actually BEGS to cancel the match. It's quite the pathetic scene. Finally, Benton kicks him off and simply shakes her head. Hotbody is FURIOUS. "You know what? Forget favoritism and incompetence; the main reason you're doing all of this is because YOU'RE A VINDICTIVE BITCH!!!" Benton walks back towards Hotbody and leans into his mic and simply says, "And don't you forget it." With that she takes her leave ignoring Hotbody's continued pleas. Finally he gives up and turns his attention to Zed Jones and puts the blame on him. "THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! All you had to do last week was beat Jordan Demiras! THAT'S ALL YOU HAD TO DO! YOU HAD ONE JOB!!! I'M SURROUNDED BY MORONS!" Zed gives Hotbody an annoyed look but Hotbody isn't finished. "DON'T LOOK AT ME THAT WAY! YOU SCREWED UP!!! YOU SCREWED ME!!!" Zed looks really uncomfortable and simply walks away from Hotbody leaving the champion alone and in disbelief.

Hotbody definitely is the type of person to get on his hands and knees and beg like a coward. I love a heel who is so pathetic that even his right hand mand takes the abuse one time too many and is just like "fuck this shit".

I'm reminded of The Miz blaming Alex Riley for his shortcomings, firing him, Riley finally snapping and the crowd going apeshit for the whole thing. They made Riley look like a star in the making........then of course it became clear not too long after that Riley actually sucked. Great look, decent charisma, killer entrance theme - just a shame he had to wrestle.

[OssMan]

Awesome!

[M-A-G]

Superstars: June 21, 2040

Opening Match: Hugo vs. Marc Fury
THE RAMPAGE CONTINUES!!! Well, sort of as it's at least a proper match this time around. Hugo has earned enough points in overness that he can start getting wins without anybody bitching about it. With that said Fury does the job here after getting tossed around as Hugo finishes him off with the Moonsault Crush. ****1/2, 84% overall.

Second Match: The Play Pals vs. The Southern Gentlemen
More BUILDING MOMENTUM time for the Play Pals here as they have their title match against the Future Foundation in the back of their minds. This is some classic tag team stuff here as The Play Pals pick up the win after Gavin Jones pins Brody Lee. *****, 96% overall.

Backstage, Ryan Pattillo has been watching and nods his approval of his stablemates getting the win. He's approached by Brooke who assures him that she's not here for any trouble. She wants to make an offer to Pattillo in regards to Night of Champions. Salvatore Scabbia has been quite ornery since losing the Intercontinental Title and missing out on his chance to compete for it again so he's really looking for an excuse to get into a fight at the PPV. Pattillo seems OK with sticking his nose in the business of Scabbia so why not really step up? Scabbia wants a match against Pattillo at Night of Champions. Pattillo states that Scabbia should be made aware that this won't be another one of his many conquests. He's going to be in for a fight. Pattillo accepts.

Third Match: Zed Jones vs. Raymond Delaney
Jones is alone with no Michael Hotbody in sight. He does fairly well for himself regardless and eeks out a pinfall win here. Afterwards, Hotbody does indeed make an appearance, smiling and applauding Jones and encouraging the crowd to do the same. Jones doesn't know what to make of this. Hotbody climbs into the ring and celebrates and tries to raise the hand of Jones. Jones tries walking away but Hotbody insists on holding the ropes open for him. Jones simply gives Hotbody the same annoyed look he did on Raw and rolls under the ropes and goes off on his own leaving Hotbody alone with a nervous demeanor. ****1/2, 91% overall

Fourth Match: The Millennium Rebels vs. Isaac Wolff and El Silencio
Nothing major here other than hot 2 on 2 cruiserweight action. The Rebels need the rub more as they're involved in a feud so they have Aaron Ramsey use his bag of tricks to their advantage to claim a cheap victory. ****1/2, 92% overall.

Backstage Romeo Valiente is looking forward to the next time he faces Ozzy Mandias because he plans on it being the last time. He accuses Ozzy of having a stupid name and it lacks the manliness of Romeo's name. It's that machismo that puts him light years ahead of a scrub like Ozzy and why he'll be remembered as a bold piece of the puzzle while Ozzy is that piece that gets lost under the carpet.

Super Special In-Ring Talky Time with Noah Carmichael. He talks about the storied history between himself and Butch Fleming and Quentin McDaniels when they were a trio as The City Slickers. They were a force to be reckoned with no question and everyone feared them. All three were pegged to be individual superstars but unfortunately that kind of thinking doesn't sit well with certain people. Specifically people who want to use everyone else for their own purposes. That's all Noah Carmichael was to Butch Fleming and the minute there was a challenge to the status quo, like say, going along with a merger with another stable that you were just feuding with not that long before. If Fleming or McDaniels think that he's supposed to be regretting that decision to walk away from that headache they're sadly mistaken. He has 3 world titles and some WrestleMania main events that he's ready to shove up their asses. Fleming's return and McDaniels' sudden spine don't change anything. Night of Champions is where Carmichael stomps them both out and Haven had better stay out of the way.

This calls for an interruption and who better than the WWE Unified World Champion Butch Fleming. Fleming accuses Carmichael of simply shining once Fleming was out of the picture. Carmichael doesn't have the killer instinct that Fleming does to get the job done and that weakness is going to be what causes him to fail on Sunday. Carmichael dares Fleming to test that theory right now because he'd love to send a message to McDaniels and Haven. Fleming may talk himself up but the reality is that he scared because he knows Carmichael is better! Fleming obliges but Carmichael is quicker on the draw and knocks the champion on his ass. Fleming decides he's got better things to do and retreats up the ramp in a fury.

Fifth Match: Bonnie Beckham vs. Phoebe Hanson
I love me some of my women's wrestling. Beckham is sadly underutilized but her charisma is shoddy. That doesn't stop her from putting on a hell of a match here with Hanson. Hanson gets the pin after hitting the Stardust. *****, 94% overall.

Sixth Match: Orlando Kincaid vs. Kyle Jacobs
The Intercontinental Champion Brandon Reigns is at ringside watching things unfold. It's quite the show as these two mesh pretty well. Reigns runs in to attack Jacobs for the DQ when he's at his most vulnerable. Alexander Piero runs down to even things out as the heels back off. *****, 94% overall.

In-ring Talky Time with Hannah McCormick who cuts to the chase in mocking Faith Connors. Connors really knows how to make enemies. There's Hannah, herself, of course but then on Raw she had to go and get on the bad side of someone who hasn't even been here a month, Leah. And the cherry on top of it all was a complete lack of Jenna Kyle. There was a handshake and everything after that epic clash that was the Iron Woman match. Hannah suggests that Faith really doesn't have much of a role in the WWE other than rubbing people the wrong way and selling gloves to gullible little girls. Hannah is a real star and no amount of posturing from people like Faith and Jenna can change that.

Cue Faith Connors herself who gets face to face with Hannah. Faith points out that the reason she's made her fair share of enemies is because she's been knocking the egos of all the braggarts down ever since she debuted and Hannah is no different. Faith doesn't have time to consider the bruised egos who can't handle her. She does have time for another round of shutting Hannah up anytime she's feeling froggy because Faith was so rudely interrupted on Raw.

Hannah looks a tad nervous and looks like she wants to back off and leave but then goes for a sucker punch. Faith is ready for it and we have a brawl on our hands! Hannah gets the upper hand after suckering Faith into the corner and she proceeds to stomp away on her. HOLD THE PHONE! IT'S JENNA KYLE RUNNING DOWN AND ENTERING THE RING! She pulls Hannah off and gets in her face. Things are tense as the two stare each other down. Eventually, Jenna turns her attention to Faith and it looks like she's going to get a piece of her, too! Hannah is all smiles BUT WAIT! Jenna knocks her down with a clothesline and tosses her out of the ring. She goes over to help Faith up and Faith is hesitant at first but eventually she accepts Jenna's hand and the two hug it out as the crowd loses their shit. It looks like the two are back on the same page after so long!

MAIN EVENT: The Wyldhearts vs. The Agents of Change
How do you follow drama like that? With a hardcore tag team match that serves as a sort of blow off for this little mini-feud. Using the word 'little' in that regard is kind of redundant. Anyways, if you're going to end a feud, might as well go all out. The Wyldhearts are a team I want to start positioning as potential future challengers to the titles so this is all for their benefit. They manage to isolate Corey Mattis and hit him with the Heartstopper to get the win. *****, 94% overall.

Overall show rating: 91%

[M-A-G]

Ugh, Carmella running her mouth in public forcing me to suspend her for the rest of the month.

[Evil Vito]

Four 5-star matches on a Superstars. What is this life?

JENNA AND FAITH REUNITED BAH GAWD. Now I want women's tag belts even more. Hell they could probably be given their own brand.

[M-A-G]

If I did do a tag title for the ladies I think the earliest I could squeeze it in would be around SummerSlam time? King of the Ring takes up a good chunk of time because I spread the tournament out over several shows. I'd also need to come up with some clever tag team names. Faith and Jenna would be the hardest I think.

[Evil Vito]

Ivelisse apparently couldn't handle being on job duty for the Blood and Guts pre-show, and she has checked herself into rehab for a drinking problem.

So in her honor, tonight's results are sponsored by Ivelisse:





AEW Dark: April 6, 2021:
-Colt Cabana def. Michael Nakazawa
-Shawn Spears def. Brian Pillman Jr.
-Thunder Rosa, Big Swole, and Yuka Sakazaki def. Emi Sakura, Mel, and Diamante
-Jurassic Express def. Chaos Project
-Brian Cage def. Matt Sydal


AEW Dynamite: April 7, 2021

Segment 1:

We start the show seeing AEW TNT champion Darby Allin arriving to the ring, naturally by riding in on a skateboard. He's greeted in the parking lot by Taz, who starts talking trash. If Darby was the champion he thought he was, he'll put the TNT Title on the line against "The Machine" Brian Cage TONIGHT!

Darby agrees without hesitation but then gets jumped from behind by Cage, it was a trap! 75% overall


Segment 2:

Last week, Matt Hardy challenged any member of the Dark Order. The challenge has been answered by John Silver who had himself a nice showing as I try to showcase him a bit more. He gave Big Money Matt probably a bigger run for his money than he thought, enough so that Matt had to resort to a cheap victory via tight hook. Afterwards, Matt beats down Silver before Hangman Page and the rest of Dark Order runs in to save their friend as Matt hurries on out of there. ***, 77% overall


Segment 3:

Miro is not here tonight, but he cuts a promo from home. He's The Best Man, good looking, charismatic, dangerous in the ring, makes good money, and has a hot wife. So why is his life being made hell by a group of clowns like the Best Friends, especially that slacker Orange Cassidy? This shit can't go on much longer, the two of us will have to settle our differences once and for all real soon. 88% overall


Segment 4:

Women's World champion Awesome Kong is in action tonight against Serena Deeb. Suppose that's one extra punishment to add on to her suspension last month. Kong vanquishes her as you'd expect and collects a lock of her hair...strangely not even the first time she's had a haircut in the ring.

While she cuts Serena's hair, Dr. Britt Baker slides in for a cheap shot but Kong no-sells it and just shoots a death glare at Baker who falls on the mat in terror and rolls out of there quickly. ***, 75% overall


Segment 5:

Tag action next with the Young Bucks up against TheHybrid2 as I continue to give TH2 plenty of chances to build some overness up purely through in-ring performance. Bucks matches are the closest thing to an M-A-G level lock in terms of high match ratings, these teams killed it.

FTR, who feel they should get to jump the line ahead of Daniels and Kazarian, watch the match from the ramp again as Tully complains on commentary. FTR eventually hit the ring and try to provide a distraction but it backfires with Angelico getting a Superkick Party for his troubles.

FTR hop in and it turns into a 4 on 2 beatdown on the Bucks before Daniels and Kazarian rush in for the save. ****1/2, 91% overall


Segment 6:

The Inner Circle are out to big boos. MJF does the bulk of the mic work as he says he was selected by his peers to explain their actions from last week. Don't let any of Chris Jericho's corny, sentimental bullshit from last week fool you. He only ever created the group to achieve his own means, he was the inaugural AEW World Champion and immediately surrounded himself with promising young talent because he wanted to cling to his spot like grim death.

This group was really all about one man and one man only, and that's Chris Jericho. The group started going through a rough patch, and Jericho was too selfish and stupid to see what the problem really was: him! And that's why we heaved his fat ass out of the Inner Circle.

This will be a new Inner Circle. There is no leader, there are no ulterior motives - we are 6 hungry young men ready to step out of the spotlight of that bloated egomaniac, and we will weed out any and all has-beens in order to pave way for the future. 91% overall


Segment 7:

Next up is Cody Rhodes vs. Rey Fenix - these two men were partners a week and a half ago at Blood and Guts, and they requested a match with one another out of mutual respect. The crowd was into this match but they didn't gel as well as I'd hoped. The bandaged up Cody picks up the win after a competitive match, and the two shake hands.

Of course, here comes Eddie Kingston eager to do even more damage to Cody, the beatdown starts but Fenix hops back in to send Eddie at bay. ***, 83% overall


Segment 8:

Cody gets a mic - he's had just about enough of this. Eddie - you left me a bloody mess last week, I had to get stiches because of you, but as you can see from tonight, nothing will keep me from getting in this ring and doing what I love to do. My wounds will be healed by next week, so if you wanna take your shot one more time, here's your chance. You and me next week - first blood match! Eddie Kingston nods a sick grin of approval. 87% overall


Segment 9:

It's Darby Allin vs. Brian Cage for the TNT Title...and here's where I can laugh at the write ups again because the show is playing out very differently in my mind than it is in text. In my brain, this was yet another Team Taz set-up. A quick match where they hurl haymakers at each other for a few minutes before Powerhouse Hobbs quickly runs in for the DQ as it turns out they care more about crippling Darby than even winning the title at this point. Instead the game writes it as a 97% match quality classic

In any event, as the two big guys Cage and Hobbs are putting a hurting on Darby - lights go out - they come back in. IT'S STING! Sting is back for the first time in a month, he vowed he'd be there for Darby if he was needed again and here he is! ****1/2, 92% overall


Segment 10:

As we come back from the break, Team Taz had left the arena and Darby Allin is getting medical attention. As Sting leaves the doctor's office, he's suddenly jumped in a hail of punches and kicks. The cameras pan up to show Inner Circle standing over him! 86% overall


Segment 11:

Following last week's sneak attack, PAC and Jon Moxley requested and received a tag team match against Kenny Omega and the recently returned "Machine Gun" Karl Anderson. By the end of the match, Kenny and PAC are the legal men while Mox and Anderson brawl on the outside. Mox sent into the steel steps. PAC meanwhile has Kenny down and ready for the Black Arrow, but Anderson smacks him off the top rope with a chair.

It's a rare night of back to back DQs which rarely if ever happens in AEW, but I've gotta build these feuds up dammit! Looks like Anderson will be sticking around to protect Omega from the two men gunning for his belt. ***1/2, 85% overall

84% show rating


Notes:

-I have, in fact, signed Karl Anderson to a written deal.

-I tried to convert Thunder Rosa from an open deal to a written deal but she's happy being a freelancer.

-Cody says he and Fenix don't click and requests to work with Colt Cabana. Not sure I have a storyline to get to that point but I've thrown Cody against fellow faces before so I could arrange this.

-ROH started a new show on the Comet network on Wednesday night prime time, directly competing with me. I completely trounced them on their debut episode.

[M-A-G]

SmackDown!: June 22, 2040

It's the go home show before Night of Champions! NOBODY BETTER SCREW ANYTHING UP!

Opening Match: WWE Cruiserweight Champion, Former Cruiserweight Champion-Elect Michael Hotbody vs. Josh Turmell
Hotbody comes out alone looking quite distressed. He talks about how unfair it's going to be thsi Sunday and that he will be at the event UNDER SEVERE PROTEST!!! The only thing more sickening than going through with it is the fact that Jordan Demiras feels that he needs to stoop to this level just to have a chance at getting back the title. What kind of a man is that? He'll show Demiras how a real man handles things. Thus the match commences and it's hot opener thanks to Hotbody's heat-drawing skills. Turmell is out here on the wrong night however as Hotbody uses his resourcefulness to set up and nail the Hot Ticket for the win.

Afterwards, Hotbody brags about maybe he has nothing to worry about after all! He doesn't need Zed Jones at his side and he doesn't need to feel guilty about anything. HE'S MICHAEL HOTBODY GOD DAMMIT AND HE LOVES HIMSELF!!! Jordan Demiras should be the one begging to call things off. In fact, if he were out here right now, Hotbody would give him a preview of things to come!

Cue Jordan Demiras himself who takes Hotbody up on that offer. Hotbody tries escaping to the sanctuary of underneath the ring but Demiras pulls him out. WHACK! Hotbody had a pipe in his hand! He proceeds to punish Demiras some more before officials come down to break things up. Hotbody looks like he's regained his confidence. ****1/2, 93% overall.

Backstage, Ryan Pattillo is being asked about his recent woes with Salvatore Scabbia. Pattillo is loyal to those he calls friends so their business is his business. He always knew at some point he would be crossing paths with Scabbia because it was only a matter of time before the path of bodies led to the upper echelons of the WWE. But Pattillo is in that upper level for a reason and it's not because he backed down from challenges no matter how daunting. Scabbia thinks losing the Intercontinental Title was the worst night of his life? He hasn't seen anything yet.

Second Match: Gavin Jones vs. Rick Hilton
A preview of this Sunday's tag team title match as it's challenger vs. champion here. These teams mesh well against each other and it's no different here as the smaller Jones keeps up with the big baddie in Hilton. Hilton's partner Julian Merrick senses trouble afoot and offers interference in the form of a chair to Gavin's back allowing Hilton to score a roll-up pin for the victory. Michael Haywood comes into object to this tomfoolery and the heels get driven off. *****, 95% overall.

Backstage, Faith Connors and Jenna Kyle are talking about how Jenna wasn't on Raw due to some vital soul searching that needed to be done. She wasn't sure how things were going to play out after what went down after the Iron Woman match. But the handshake she shared with Faith and the fact that Hannah McCormick won't shut her damn mouth and that Nathan Quinn thinks he's owed something put a lot of things into perspective. Lisa Benton walks into the picture and thinks it's great that the two of them hashed things out and that it's given her an idea. She wants the two of them to team up with Caleb Greene to face Lonny Richards, Leah, and Hannah McCormick at Night of Champions. To work out the kinks, though, tonight she wants the two of them to team up and face C.J. and Arianna.

Third Match: Xavier Cross vs. Cameron Harper
Sorry, Harper. I know things haven't been going your way these last few months but Cross has an important match in his future. Cross cheats his way to a victory here to BUILD MOMENTUM as Kerry Cemenko watches from backstage. Cross declares that we're all looking at the next number one contender. ****1/2, 93% overall.

Backstage, Aphrodite is with Caleb Greene giving their thoughts on Lisa Benton's announcement earlier. He's heading into a volatile situation for sure but he has all the confidence in the world in Jenna and Faith. The only person that needs to watch themselves is Lonny Richards.

Fourth Match: Seth Von Kamp vs. Ronnie Costello
Salvatore Scabbia is at ringside in support of his stablemate in the absence of Carmella. Von Kamp continues to look good. Something special is sure to be in store for him in the future (). Certainly not right now as Scabbia sees fit to attack him for the DQ after the Collapse of Society connects. Scabbia looks to do some more damage but Ryan Pattillo runs down to check his privilege. It's all for naught as Scabbia gets the upper hand on him and locks in the Omerta to leave Pattillo laid out. ****1/2, 90% overall.

In-Ring Super Special Talky Time with the Queen of Queens, Naomi Bailey. She has her whole royal get up with her and offers it up to the audience as a reminder of who the hell she is. Never forget it and never forget how close she came to becoming Women's Champion at WrestleMania because Sonya Braddock's luck is running out. Enjoy these last few days and remember this moment in time because she's going to rub it in the faces of all the doubters when she ends Braddock at Night of Champions. Braddock isn't in the mood to be listening to this royal decree and she sneaks up behind Naomi divests her of her royal garments. Naomi bails in humiliation and anger and yells back some threats towards the champion.

Fifth Match: Faith Connors and Jenna Kyle vs. C.J. and Arianna
All eyes are on the face team to see how well they're going to get along here. I believe the rating at the end will speak for itself as far as that's concerned. Jenna hits Arianna with the Kyle Driver to pick up the pin. Afterwards, Hannah McCormick and Leah cut the reunion short and attack the faces leaving them laid out. *****, 96% overall.

Sixth Match: WWE Intercontinental Champion Brandon Reigns and Orlando Kincaid vs. Kyle Jacobs and Alexander Piero
Reigns has ZERO interest in participating in this match and lets Kincaid do all of the work. He declares he has more important things to be worried about. He does, however, nail Jacobs with his title belt when it looks like Kincaid might suffer a Legacy Bomb and that's enough for a DQ. We get a big brawl to close things out. ****1/2, 93% overall.

Final Segment: Quentin McDaniels and the WWE Unified World Champion Butch Fleming are out to talk about how much they don't like each other but they dislike the idea of either Haven and Carmichael becoming champion even more. Despite these rough past few weeks there is an understanding that working together to crush the opposition is for the greater good. McDaniels claims it's necessary to get Carmichael and Haven out of the way so that there will be a clear path to him winning the Unified World Title. Fleming takes exception to this and points out that McDaniels is just the last man Fleming has to deal with in order to retain his title. If McDaniels couldn't take care of Carmichael at WrestleMania THERE'S NO WAY he can handle Fleming. McDaniels looks like he's ready to drop Fleming right here and now but Haven interrupts to offer his take. Seeing the two jackals in the ring right now shows how there is no honor among thieves. Even the most craven of all animals will turn and eat each other when desperation sets in and Fleming and McDaniels are dripping with desperation.

Carmichael joins Haven out on the stage and questions how much desperation Haven has. Haven has come oh so close on several occasions but that title keeps getting yanked away. Well Carmichael is willing to be up front about things and he's letting Haven know that Carmichael will be the one to yank it away this time around.

Fleming demands everyone pays attention to him because as the champion he's the only one that matters around here. He didn't come back from exile just to be put on the backburner. He's come this far and he's at the top of the mountain and he's nowhere near ready to get shoved off so all three of his opponents can kiss his ass. "If you guys don't like it you can do something about it right now!"

Haven and Carmichael ponder this over and eventually decide to head to the ring and confront McDaniels and Fleming. Fleming, of course, leaves McDaniels high and dry and we have a brawl on our hands as poor McDaniels gets knocked around. Fleming eventually finds his courage when the faces pause to glare at each other. The whole party ends with Fleming laying out Carmichael with a Slaughterhouse Special, McDaniels laying out Fleming with the Great Depression and finally Haven standing tall over everyone after laying out McDaniels with the Sting of Solace. End of show!

Overall show rating: 89%

[M-A-G]

Originally Posted by Conspiracy Victim Vito Ivelisse apparently couldn't handle being on job duty for the Blood and Guts pre-show, and she has checked herself into rehab for a drinking problem. So in her honor, tonight's results are sponsored by Ivelisse:

That ass though....

The only Ivelisse I'm familiar with in regards to wrestling is that one from Tough Enough way back when. That can't be the same one, right?

AEW Dark: April 6, 2021: -Colt Cabana def. Michael Nakazawa -Shawn Spears def. Brian Pillman Jr. -Thunder Rosa, Big Swole, and Yuka Sakazaki def. Emi Sakura, Mel, and Diamante -Jurassic Express def. Chaos Project -Brian Cage def. Matt Sydal

If it were me I'd do an angle where Brian Pillman, Jr. convinces Dakota to turn on her dad and uncle and join her as his half-sibling as he vows to finish what his dad started. Although I can see how SOME PEOPLE would view that in bad taste.

AEW Dynamite: April 7, 2021 Segment 1: We start the show seeing AEW TNT champion Darby Allin arriving to the ring, naturally by riding in on a skateboard. He's greeted in the parking lot by Taz, who starts talking trash. If Darby was the champion he thought he was, he'll put the TNT Title on the line against "The Machine" Brian Cage TONIGHT! Darby agrees without hesitation but then gets jumped from behind by Cage, it was a trap! 75% overall

God damn it, Admiral Ackbar, you have ONE JOB!!!

Segment 2: Last week, Matt Hardy challenged any member of the Dark Order. The challenge has been answered by John Silver who had himself a nice showing as I try to showcase him a bit more. He gave Big Money Matt probably a bigger run for his money than he thought, enough so that Matt had to resort to a cheap victory via tight hook. Afterwards, Matt beats down Silver before Hangman Page and the rest of Dark Order runs in to save their friend as Matt hurries on out of there. ***, 77% overall

I'm impressed that Matt can still bring the goods all things considered. I can only assume things got better for him in the last 5 or so years?

Segment 3: Miro is not here tonight, but he cuts a promo from home. He's The Best Man, good looking, charismatic, dangerous in the ring, makes good money, and has a hot wife. So why is his life being made hell by a group of clowns like the Best Friends, especially that slacker Orange Cassidy? This shit can't go on much longer, the two of us will have to settle our differences once and for all real soon. 88% overall

Pfft, I'LL be judge of whether or not his wife is hot.

Segment 4: Women's World champion Awesome Kong is in action tonight against Serena Deeb. Suppose that's one extra punishment to add on to her suspension last month. Kong vanquishes her as you'd expect and collects a lock of her hair...strangely not even the first time she's had a haircut in the ring. While she cuts Serena's hair, Dr. Britt Baker slides in for a cheap shot but Kong no-sells it and just shoots a death glare at Baker who falls on the mat in terror and rolls out of there quickly. ***, 75% overall

LOL @ Baker watching her life flash before her eyes.

Segment 5: Tag action next with the Young Bucks up against TheHybrid2 as I continue to give TH2 plenty of chances to build some overness up purely through in-ring performance. Bucks matches are the closest thing to an M-A-G level lock in terms of high match ratings, these teams killed it. FTR, who feel they should get to jump the line ahead of Daniels and Kazarian, watch the match from the ramp again as Tully complains on commentary. FTR eventually hit the ring and try to provide a distraction but it backfires with Angelico getting a Superkick Party for his troubles. FTR hop in and it turns into a 4 on 2 beatdown on the Bucks before Daniels and Kazarian rush in for the save. ****1/2, 91% overall

Kazarian & Daniels vs. The Young Bucks alone should bring in a healthy snowflake rating if that's where you're going with them and it'd be one hell of a sendoff for Daniels.

Segment 6: The Inner Circle are out to big boos. MJF does the bulk of the mic work as he says he was selected by his peers to explain their actions from last week. Don't let any of Chris Jericho's corny, sentimental bullshit from last week fool you. He only ever created the group to achieve his own means, he was the inaugural AEW World Champion and immediately surrounded himself with promising young talent because he wanted to cling to his spot like grim death. This group was really all about one man and one man only, and that's Chris Jericho. The group started going through a rough patch, and Jericho was too selfish and stupid to see what the problem really was: him! And that's why we heaved his fat ass out of the Inner Circle. This will be a new Inner Circle. There is no leader, there are no ulterior motives - we are 6 hungry young men ready to step out of the spotlight of that bloated egomaniac, and we will weed out any and all has-beens in order to pave way for the future. 91% overall

Love it. The missing cherry would have been Jericho being called a 'skinny' fat ass but I suppose that probably wouldn't actually apply.

Segment 7: Next up is Cody Rhodes vs. Rey Fenix - these two men were partners a week and a half ago at Blood and Guts, and they requested a match with one another out of mutual respect. The crowd was into this match but they didn't gel as well as I'd hoped. The bandaged up Cody picks up the win after a competitive match, and the two shake hands. Of course, here comes Eddie Kingston eager to do even more damage to Cody, the beatdown starts but Fenix hops back in to send Eddie at bay. ***, 83% overall

Hey, with 3 stars that's gelling well enough to get you over the bar. If no one's complaining it shouldn't deter you.

Segment 8: Cody gets a mic - he's had just about enough of this. Eddie - you left me a bloody mess last week, I had to get stiches because of you, but as you can see from tonight, nothing will keep me from getting in this ring and doing what I love to do. My wounds will be healed by next week, so if you wanna take your shot one more time, here's your chance. You and me next week - first blood match! Eddie Kingston nods a sick grin of approval. 87% overall

***SQUEAL!!!***



Wait, was that plan all along or did you go by what I said the last time around?

Segment 9: It's Darby Allin vs. Brian Cage for the TNT Title...and here's where I can laugh at the write ups again because the show is playing out very differently in my mind than it is in text. In my brain, this was yet another Team Taz set-up. A quick match where they hurl haymakers at each other for a few minutes before Powerhouse Hobbs quickly runs in for the DQ as it turns out they care more about crippling Darby than even winning the title at this point. Instead the game writes it as a 97% match quality classic In any event, as the two big guys Cage and Hobbs are putting a hurting on Darby - lights go out - they come back in. IT'S STING! Sting is back for the first time in a month, he vowed he'd be there for Darby if he was needed again and here he is! ****1/2, 92% overall

Hey, take it if you can get it. Sadly, I guess we're seeing the beginning of the end for Sting.

Segment 10: As we come back from the break, Team Taz had left the arena and Darby Allin is getting medical attention. As Sting leaves the doctor's office, he's suddenly jumped in a hail of punches and kicks. The cameras pan up to show Inner Circle standing over him! 86% overall

I'm pretty sure Sting said something about MJF's mother, it just wasn't picked up on the audio.

Segment 11: Following last week's sneak attack, PAC and Jon Moxley requested and received a tag team match against Kenny Omega and the recently returned "Machine Gun" Karl Anderson. By the end of the match, Kenny and PAC are the legal men while Mox and Anderson brawl on the outside. Mox sent into the steel steps. PAC meanwhile has Kenny down and ready for the Black Arrow, but Anderson smacks him off the top rope with a chair. It's a rare night of back to back DQs which rarely if ever happens in AEW, but I've gotta build these feuds up dammit! Looks like Anderson will be sticking around to protect Omega from the two men gunning for his belt. ***1/2, 85% overall 84% show rating

I remember in my first ever game I had made a vow to never do DQs because I always thought it was lame but sometimes you get yourself into a corner and it's like, well, they're there for a reason.

Notes: -I have, in fact, signed Karl Anderson to a written deal. -I tried to convert Thunder Rosa from an open deal to a written deal but she's happy being a freelancer. -Cody says he and Fenix don't click and requests to work with Colt Cabana. Not sure I have a storyline to get to that point but I've thrown Cody against fellow faces before so I could arrange this. -ROH started a new show on the Comet network on Wednesday night prime time, directly competing with me. I completely trounced them on their debut episode.

LOL, middle fingers to the competition. I honestly can't recall the last time another promotion had a network show in my universe. Thunder Rosa better get with the program. There's only so much she can get with a cute smile and an ass that won't quit. Well, she can get a lot but still.

[Evil Vito]

Originally Posted by M-A-G SmackDown!: June 22, 2040 It's the go home show before Night of Champions! NOBODY BETTER SCREW ANYTHING UP! Opening Match: WWE Cruiserweight Champion, Former Cruiserweight Champion-Elect Michael Hotbody vs. Josh Turmell Hotbody comes out alone looking quite distressed. He talks about how unfair it's going to be thsi Sunday and that he will be at the event UNDER SEVERE PROTEST!!! The only thing more sickening than going through with it is the fact that Jordan Demiras feels that he needs to stoop to this level just to have a chance at getting back the title. What kind of a man is that? He'll show Demiras how a real man handles things. Thus the match commences and it's hot opener thanks to Hotbody's heat-drawing skills. Turmell is out here on the wrong night however as Hotbody uses his resourcefulness to set up and nail the Hot Ticket for the win. Afterwards, Hotbody brags about maybe he has nothing to worry about after all! He doesn't need Zed Jones at his side and he doesn't need to feel guilty about anything. HE'S MICHAEL HOTBODY GOD DAMMIT AND HE LOVES HIMSELF!!! Jordan Demiras should be the one begging to call things off. In fact, if he were out here right now, Hotbody would give him a preview of things to come! Cue Jordan Demiras himself who takes Hotbody up on that offer. Hotbody tries escaping to the sanctuary of underneath the ring but Demiras pulls him out. WHACK! Hotbody had a pipe in his hand! He proceeds to punish Demiras some more before officials come down to break things up. Hotbody looks like he's regained his confidence. ****1/2, 93% overall.

Hotbody was just fixing a plumbing issue under the ring and Demiras rudely interrupted him.

Second Match: Gavin Jones vs. Rick Hilton A preview of this Sunday's tag team title match as it's challenger vs. champion here. These teams mesh well against each other and it's no different here as the smaller Jones keeps up with the big baddie in Hilton. Hilton's partner Julian Merrick senses trouble afoot and offers interference in the form of a chair to Gavin's back allowing Hilton to score a roll-up pin for the victory. Michael Haywood comes into object to this tomfoolery and the heels get driven off. *****, 95% overall.

When even the tag specialists put on incredible singles matches.

Backstage, Faith Connors and Jenna Kyle are talking about how Jenna wasn't on Raw due to some vital soul searching that needed to be done. She wasn't sure how things were going to play out after what went down after the Iron Woman match. But the handshake she shared with Faith and the fact that Hannah McCormick won't shut her damn mouth and that Nathan Quinn thinks he's owed something put a lot of things into perspective. Lisa Benton walks into the picture and thinks it's great that the two of them hashed things out and that it's given her an idea. She wants the two of them to team up with Caleb Greene to face Lonny Richards, Leah, and Hannah McCormick at Night of Champions. To work out the kinks, though, tonight she wants the two of them to team up and face C.J. and Arianna.

Work out the kinks huh? I think they appeal to a lot of kinks

Fifth Match: Faith Connors and Jenna Kyle vs. C.J. and Arianna All eyes are on the face team to see how well they're going to get along here. I believe the rating at the end will speak for itself as far as that's concerned. Jenna hits Arianna with the Kyle Driver to pick up the pin. Afterwards, Hannah McCormick and Leah cut the reunion short and attack the faces leaving them laid out. *****, 96% overall.

Yep, hot women putting on excellent wrassling matches. Kink central. Hannah McCormick is a damn jezebel.

Sixth Match: WWE Intercontinental Champion Brandon Reigns and Orlando Kincaid vs. Kyle Jacobs and Alexander Piero
Reigns has ZERO interest in participating in this match and lets Kincaid do all of the work. He declares he has more important things to be worried about. He does, however, nail Jacobs with his title belt when it looks like Kincaid might suffer a Legacy Bomb and that's enough for a DQ. We get a big brawl to close things out. ****1/2, 93% overall.

Final Segment: Quentin McDaniels and the WWE Unified World Champion Butch Fleming are out to talk about how much they don't like each other but they dislike the idea of either Haven and Carmichael becoming champion even more. Despite these rough past few weeks there is an understanding that working together to crush the opposition is for the greater good. McDaniels claims it's necessary to get Carmichael and Haven out of the way so that there will be a clear path to him winning the Unified World Title. Fleming takes exception to this and points out that McDaniels is just the last man Fleming has to deal with in order to retain his title. If McDaniels couldn't take care of Carmichael at WrestleMania THERE'S NO WAY he can handle Fleming. McDaniels looks like he's ready to drop Fleming right here and now but Haven interrupts to offer his take. Seeing the two jackals in the ring right now shows how there is no honor among thieves. Even the most craven of all animals will turn and eat each other when desperation sets in and Fleming and McDaniels are dripping with desperation. Carmichael joins Haven out on the stage and questions how much desperation Haven has. Haven has come oh so close on several occasions but that title keeps getting yanked away. Well Carmichael is willing to be up front about things and he's letting Haven know that Carmichael will be the one to yank it away this time around. Fleming demands everyone pays attention to him because as the champion he's the only one that matters around here. He didn't come back from exile just to be put on the backburner. He's come this far and he's at the top of the mountain and he's nowhere near ready to get shoved off so all three of his opponents can kiss his ass. "If you guys don't like it you can do something about it right now!" Haven and Carmichael ponder this over and eventually decide to head to the ring and confront McDaniels and Fleming. Fleming, of course, leaves McDaniels high and dry and we have a brawl on our hands as poor McDaniels gets knocked around. Fleming eventually finds his courage when the faces pause to glare at each other. The whole party ends with Fleming laying out Carmichael with a Slaughterhouse Special, McDaniels laying out Fleming with the Great Depression and finally Haven standing tall over everyone after laying out McDaniels with the Sting of Solace. End of show!

The finisher flurry ahead of a multi-man match is a time honored tradition that will never get old with me. Great Depression is yet another great finisher name.

Since these are fictional wrestlers, I tend to visualize them based on their names and Butch Fleming ends up looking like "The Butcher" Andy Williams from AEW, who also happens to be the guitarist for Every Time I Die.

[Evil Vito]

Originally Posted by M-A-G That ass though.... The only Ivelisse I'm familiar with in regards to wrestling is that one from Tough Enough way back when. That can't be the same one, right?

It is, in fact, the same one. She ended up having a good run in Mexico and Lucha Underground before returning to the States.[/quote]

If it were me I'd do an angle where Brian Pillman, Jr. convinces Dakota to turn on her dad and uncle and join her as his half-sibling as he vows to finish what his dad started. Although I can see how SOME PEOPLE would view that in bad taste.

no lie if Pillman develops enough I'd love to throw him at Cody eventually. Dustin I just realized turns 52 this month so knowing EWR he will be the next guy to head to non-wrestler land when the calendar switches to May 1st.

I'm impressed that Matt can still bring the goods all things considered. I can only assume things got better for him in the last 5 or so years?

He took a year or so off healing up injuries and his body seems nowhere near as worse for wear down as Jeff's. But the main thing with Matt has always been his character work, including a stint as "Broken" Matt Hardy which caused massive arguments on TPWW with people either finding it to be completely brilliant or fucking stupid, with no real space in between. Count me in with the former, I love "out there" gimmicks.

Pfft, I'LL be judge of whether or not his wife is hot.

Hmmm...there ARE Lana nudes on the internet I believe.

Kazarian & Daniels vs. The Young Bucks alone should bring in a healthy snowflake rating if that's where you're going with them and it'd be one hell of a sendoff for Daniels.

Yeah that's where I'm likely to go with this story, it'll be fun working around his inability to wrestle on TV during the program but it's doable.

[quote]Wait, was that plan all along or did you go by what I said the last time around?

It was in the cards. My feuds are steadily getting ready to be blown off and I think the in-game feud system punishes you if you don't end the feud in a gimmick match.

[M-A-G]

Lana? Is Miro Rusev from the WWE?

[M-A-G]

Hmmm, a quick Google search does indeed confirm my suspicions...and also that Miro was indeed Rusev back in the WWE....

[Evil Vito]

I thought posting this previously was a giveaway that it was him but maybe he didn't have a sweet mustache when you stopped watching

Anyway, the good thing about AEW is I think most of their WWE imports have made sense. Most of the guys they've brought in either had recent star power coming in (Jon Moxley aka Dean Ambrose), were already established names people knew to help them get off the ground (Jericho, Matt Hardy) or people everyone thought had greater potential but were underutilized (Rusev/Miro, FTR/The Revival, Luke Harper/Brodie Lee)

That said, while I don't think they've "pulled a TNA" or anything, it's also a different wrestling landscape now. WWE has like 300 wrestlers under contract, almost everybody out there has been to WWE at one point or another.

[M-A-G]

I thought he looked familiar but I didn't think anything of it. I've been out of the loop for a good length of time. I wouldn't have immediately considered Rusev jumping ship to another promotion. I guess more people are finding the grass greener in other pastures and really I don't blame them.

[Evil Vito]

Yeah he had asked for his release a few times but got denied as WWE wanted to hoard as many people as possible now that there is competition. Then the pandemic started and WWE then released tons of guys who had asked for their release like Rusev, as well as a bunch of the undercard guys who had been there for years (Zack Ryder, Curt Hawkins, Curtis Axel, Heath Slater, Erick Rowan etc)

[M-A-G]

NIGHT OF CHAMPIONS!!! June 24, 2040

Tonight's theme song is "Nocturnal" by New Years Day.



PRE-SHOW MATCH: Number One Contenders Match for the WWE Unified World TItle: Xavier Cross vs. Kerry Cemenko
I'm just going to let the match report speak for itself.



NIGHT OF CHAMPIONS BEGINS!!!

Opening Match: Lonny Richards, Leah, and Hannah McCormick vs. Caleb Greene, Faith Connors, and Jenna Kyle
The real test of teamwork for Jenna and Faith and it goes pretty well. The faces are all about that high-flying goodness, well, Faith and Caleb that is. It comes down to Greene and Richards as the women take care of their business on the outside. Nathan Quinn screws up his interference causing Lonny to get knocked to the ground leaving him vulnerable for a Green With Envy off the top rope for the pin. ****1/2, 92% overall.

Second Match: Martyn LaSalle vs. Jason Sorola
Winner gets a shot at the Cruiserweight Title. These guys are more technical and submission oriented than the other cruiserweights. It's a clinic on awesome mat wrestling but it comes to an end when LaSalle suckers Sorola in after playing possom and locks in the Martynizer for the tap out victory. *****, 96% overall.

Third Match: WWE Unified Tag Team Titles
The Future Foundation (c) vs. The Play Pals
If there was a way I could donate my teams I'd do it without question. It's a shame I'm essentially pulling the plug on the feud here but it's important to learn and grow. Unfortunately, The Royal Effect haven't learned that lesson and run down to cause some tomfoolery that allows to Julian Merrick to hit Michael Haywood with the Black Sheep to score the pin and retain the titles. The Royal Effect aren't done with the Play Pals and they proceed to just dismantle the two with a beat down. *****, 98% overall.

Fourth Match: Steel Cage Match for the WWE Cruiserweight Title
Former WWE Cruiserweight Champion-Elect Michael Hotbody (c) vs. Jordan Demiras
Hotbody's sudden regained confidence immediately disappears the minute he sees the cage and thus tries to turn and bail. Lisa Benton comes out on the stage and simply shakes her head and points back to the ring signaling for Hotbody that he'd better get his ass in the cage. He's still hesitant so Benton has some nice security actually come down and physically carry Hotbody, kicking and screaming, to the cage. He's finally shoved in and the match can commence and shock of shocks, Hotbody's begging and pleading to Jordan Demiras has no effect. Demiras controls for a LOOOONG period of time just beating the shit out of Hotbody and busting him open. Hotbody can only manage a few bursts of desperation here and there. It comes down to the time where Demiras feels he's ready to escape the cage but ZED JONES SLAMS THE DOOR IN HIS FACE!!! WHERE DID HE COME FROM??? WHAT'S HE DOING?!?!? Hotbody recovers enough to where he signals for Jones to hand him something and thus Jones slides something over to the champion. It's a shard of a broken record! Hotbody uses it to bloody effects as Demiras gets cut open and even tries to jam it in his eye. He bounces Demiras around the cage walls a few times and now he calls for Jones to hand him something else. IT'S THE PIPE FROM SMACKDOWN!. Hotbody goes to town on Demiras who is just a mess at this point. When enough damage is done Hotbody casually walks out the door and celebrates with Jones to retain. BUT HE'S STILL NOT DONE! Hotbody invites Jones into the cage because it's actually kind of cool and fun and that he can scratch it off his bucket list. Thus the two enter and proceed to annihilate Demiras. Jones drags Demiras over to the door and Hotbody proceeds to repeatedly slam the door into his head, all while singing "I've Been Working on the Railroad." Officials finally come down to put an end to it all and thus Hotbody leaves with his title via piggyback on Zed Jones. ****1/4, 90% overall.

Fifth Match: Ryan Pattillo vs. Salvatore Scabbia
Oof, after all of that intense and physical violence let's follow it up with...some intense and physical violence. This is an awesome brawl as Scabbia looks to step up to the big time by crushing a top name in Pattillo. Pattillo is game but Brooke continues to pay dividends by working her magic causing enough of a fuss to allow Scabbia to lock in the Omerta. Pattillo holds out as long as he can, probably longer than anyone else even coming close to the ropes on several occasions but it's only a matter of time before he breaks down and passes out. Scabbia walks away with the win. ****1/2, 91% overall.

Sixth Match: Women's Title
Sonya Braddock (c) vs. Naomi Bailey
The physicality continues as these two are just brutes in the women's division. Braddock is able to utilize more technique though and that's enough to keep things even for the duration of the match. Naomi must sense that she's in trouble as she goes to the outside to regain her senses, crouched in front of the apron. Braddock goes to recover her but Naomi pops up with a surprise shot to the face with her scepter! This knocks Braddock back into the ref and Naomi takes advantage by quickly getting in as many shots with the scepter as she can before the ref recovers. She tosses her royal accessory just in time and pulls Braddock up to hit a Bail Out. She's not satisfied and picks up Braddock and hits another one. Naomi is all about playing it safe and thus goes on to hit a third Bail Out and that's enough for the pin and to crown A NEW Women's Champion. *****, 96% overall.

Seventh Match: WWE Intercontinental Title
Brandon Reigns (c) vs. Kyle Jacobs
Both Kyle's dad and uncle are in the front row for this. These guys are just gelling like Magellan. Jacobs, unfortunately, is in the wrong time as Reigns is just on too much of a hot streak. Plus he's down with cheating. Thus he makes it a point to go after Kyle's family in the crowd and of course Kyle goes to defend their honor BUT IT'S A TRAP as Reigns sends Kyle into the ringpost as he was checking on his dad. Back into the ring, Reigns hits the Iron Reign and scores the pin and retains the title. *****, 94% overall.

MAIN EVENT: Fatal Four Way for the WWE Unified World Title
Butch Fleming (c) vs. Haven vs. Noah Carmichael vs. Quentin McDaniels
This is one fall to a finish and it's chaos defined as any notion of partnerships is just tossed out the window. Fleming gets introduced to the announce table is out for a good while. The ref is bumped when Carmichael sends McDaniels to the outside. The end comes when Quentin McDaniels prevents Carmichael from pinning Haven after he connects with the Quick Draw. Carmichael and McDaniels have their own sequence and Carmichael manages to connect with the Quick Draw. The ref crawls back inside! ONE...TWO...THREE!!! Your winner....AND STILL the WWE Unified World Champion, BUTCH FLEMING! Wait, what? Everyone's confused but we see that Fleming managed to crawl back in himself and lazily drape himself over Haven as the ref came back in. The ref only saw Fleming's pin! He's happy to get the win and bails back up the ramp rubbing it in everyone's faces! ****1/2, 94% overall.

End of show. Overall rating: 95%