The official wrestling sim topic

[M-A-G]

Originally Posted by Conspiracy Victim Vito End of month notes for April: Thunder Rosa once again increases her wage demand by 10%. JUST SIGN WITH ME DAMMIT!!!

I don't see how they can get away with demanding a wage increase just for the fuck of it. Like, what metrics is the game using to justify that?

Happy birthday to: Diamond Dallas Page (65), Vickie Guerrero (53), Dustin Rhodes (52), Jack Evans (39), Scorpio Sky (37), Chuck Taylor (34), Dasha Fuentes (31), Dr. Britt Baker DMD (30), Nick Comoroto (29), Marq Quen (27) And with that, I have two more retirements as Vickie and Dustin have decided to leave at the end of the month. I'm losing nothing in Vickie, she was off-screen for 2 months and has a bad charisma rating so I'd never actually book her in an interview segment with Nyla Rose. I just didn't release her and I mostly am just letting contracts lapse if I don't want to keep people. Dustin on the other hand is a more unfortunate worse. He was a solid brawler still but of course the ring work took a bigger hit with that age jump. Still, 87 charisma meant he could've had some use in another non-wrestling capacity. It's a shame non-wrestlers can't be converted to managers. Maybe he'll decide to become a staff member or something, I wonder if you have to re-sign workers who convert to staff or if they just move over automatically, if it's the latter Dustin's on an unsackable deal.

Fucking DDP is in his sixties but it's Dustin that decides to hang things up. I'm wondering how long Page hanging around will last. If I'm recalling correctly, any time a worker retires but moves on to another job you have to sign them all over again. I'm sure any bells and whistles they had before will be demanded. Still waiting on Lisa Benton to make that transition to trainer.

Elsewhere in the wrestling world...Chris Payne, Miguelito Perez, Pimpinela Escarlata, Shawn Daivari, Super Shisa, and Villano IV have announced they will retire at the end of May.

Dear God, the fucking Villanos...

AEW Dark: May 4, 2021: -Serena Deeb def. Yuka Sakazaki -The Butcher and the Blade def. Billy and Colten Gunn -Colt Cabana def. Matt Sydal -Allie def. Leva Bates -Adam Page def. Joey Janela

Just the idea of Billy Gunn still wrestling in the God damn 2020s pisses me off. Luckily imagining Allie and Leva being all hot and sweaty together calms me down and eases my tension...

AEW Dynamite: May 5, 2021 Segment 1: MJF and the Inner Circle are out to open their show and explain their actions from last week, when they disrespected Sting in his farewell to wrestling. The group again states their goal in trying to purge the company of all the old-timers holding back the business. Cody comes out to express disgust, even for MJF, those actions were a new low. MJF says the Inner Circle's disdain isn't just with the legends, but with all of the nostalgia for yesteryear, and being a Rhodes boy running a promotion he's too blind to see he's stuck in the ways of his old man. Cody's heard enough and begins to walk down the aisle, he is soon joined by his brother with a bullrope in hand, as well as Darby Allin with his skateboard who has a score to settle after his mentor got jumped. They're outnumbered 3 on 6 but as so fired up they manage to hold their own for a hot minute before security break up the brawl. Dustin grabs the mic and lays into the group for disrespecting the legacies not just of the legends but all of the second and third generation stars in the business. One of those Inner Circle guys better step up to the plate because they're gonna get a Natural ass whooping. 87% overall

The faces should have pulled an Ultimate Alliance and combined their powers, so to speak, and tie Darby's skateboard to the bullrope and have Dustin swing it around. Cody then hangs back and uses his healing skills to rejuvenate the party.

Segment 2: Spoiler alert: Dustin is retiring so The Natural will not in fact be whooping ass and he's in full blown "put over everyone" mode. The challenge is answered by MJF's bodyguard Wardlow. The two big guys have themselves a nice old school hoss fight. It's not a squash but the purpose is very much to put Wardlow's strength over. It got a solid 82% quality but the overall rating was lower than the quality and crowd reaction, so I think my streak of Dudless Dynamites is over. ***, 67% overall

See, Cody should have buffed Dustin with a defensive attribute skill. Seeing the dud come into play is always rough.

Segment 3: Backstage with Kenny Omega, Don Callis, and Karl Anderson. They talk about Karl's match with PAC tonight. Callis says there has been way too much slander about Omega's talents. So out of the goodness of his heart and for the benefit of the viewers, next week he'll be running an open gauntlet. The sign up sheet is behind them, and next week Kenny will be showing the whole world that there is not a wrestler in the world who can match his technical proficiency, cunning, and endurance. As the group takes their leave, PAC and Rey Fenix walk into view from the other side, and appear to be the first names on the gauntlet sheet. Kenny might be getting more than he bargained for!

Open challenges are always fun. I may have to steal that gauntlet idea for one of my titles.

Segment 4: "The Native Beast" Nyla Rose makes her in-ring return against Big Swole. The two appear to have some decent chemistry and put together a solid hard-hitting match as a result. Rose gets the Beast Bomb for the victory as Awesome Kong watches from the stage. I think we know who her next challenger is going to be. Alas, another bad rating. I'd gotten lucky with my Dud shows only landing on Dark, but that streak is definitely over. ***, 66% overall

3 stars is a good enough showing to give the finger to the dud show. I'm guessing Nyla Rose is also some monster type wrestler?

Segment 5: Jon Moxley is backstage searching for Miro, but can only find Penelope Ford. Knowing her association with Miro, Mox demands answers on where to find him but Ford plays dumb. Mox is eventually jumped by Miro as well as Kip Sabian for the two on one beatdown. Mox and Miro dropped a bit of overness, Kip gained. I swear this is like the 3rd or 4th time I've done this, one really unover guy drags others down. Gotta stop doing that. Silly me. In any event between the three of them, three very sexy blonde wives so good on them. 72% overall

If I had to choose between Lana, Penelope, and Renee as to who is the hottest my dick would just erupt on its own and be down for the count for about a week due to the difficulty of such a decision.

Segment 6: TNT Champion "The Machine: Brian Cage is out but tonight he's actually defending the FTW Championship because I forgot I even had it (though it's mostly just a prop). He's facing Scorpio Sky of SCU. They have a really good match that the snowflake rating reflects but, alas, non-clicky show. The ref ejects Team Taz from ringside during the match but doesn't see Shawn Spears clobber Sky at ringside with a chair, Spears acting at Tully/FTR's behest in their vow to get revenge on SCU. Cage bring Sky in for the Drill Claw and gets the win. ****, 74% overall Cage doesn't get to celebrate long before the Best Friends music hits as out comes Orange Cassidy and Chuck Taylor for our next bout!

I'm imagining the two titles being unified into the FTWTNT Championship.

Segment 7: It's our first match in a 4-team mini tournament to decide who will get a Tag Title shot against the Young Bucks at Double or Nothing. Orange Cassidy and Chuck Taylor vs. Santana and Ortiz of the Inner Circle. Much like the last match, this one was awesome with a lot of fast paced offense sprinkled in with some damn good psychology from the very experienced Santana and Ortiz. Match eventually breaks down with all 4 guys in the ring going at it. For some reason, Taz is out on the apron for a distraction which leads to Brian Cage pulling Orange outside the ring and ramming him into the barricade. I guess he felt upstaged by OC the last couple of weeks. This throws Chuckie T off as well and he takes a Street Sweeper to end it. Santana and Ortiz advance. ****, 81% overall

Clearly Taz is miffed at Cassidy because he's no longer the lone orange dwarf of the wrestling world. Be proud of those 4 stars giving more middle fingers to the dud show.

Segment 8: Eddie Kingston puts himself over in an interview. He boasts about his victory over Lance Archer last week, shrugging off accusations that it was an ill-gotten win because it was no DQ, anything goes. Kingston goes on to declare himself the toughest son of a bitch in this business, and he's gonna prove it when he takes his place as AEW World Champion. And that starts in a few weeks as he's the first man to throw his name into the hat for the Casino Battle Royale at Double or Nothing. 92% overall

Are there special rules for that match?

Segment 9: We're supposed to be getting Hangman Page and The Young Bucks vs. The Hardy Party......but somehow The Dark Order's dressing room has been welded shut! Who could have possibly paid someone off to do that? Certainly not "Big Money" Matt Hardy! Anyway the trios match proceeds on with The Young Bucks recruiting childhood friend Brandon Cutler as their replacement partner. Cutler's been slumming it development at AEW Dark for the past few months, and this is our first time seeing him on Dynamite in some time. Bucks vs. Private Party was a classic last week but adding Hardy and Cutler dragged it down a bit (but still good). Hardy can go against the right opponent but at his age he can't really keep up with fast paced Young Bucks offense. Lucky for him though Cutler is effectively a jobber and here to eat the pin, punches Cutler in the nads and rolls him up for the win as the tag teams brawled outside. ***, 69% overall Matt celebrates his win over a man with one of the worst records in AEW history way too much, and suddenly the Dark Order theme hits as Hangman leads the group's charge out. The whole Dark Order group has flashier gear on! Crowd in a frenzy as Private Party eat Buckshot Lariats.

Hahah, Page continuing to bring more expensive shit with him. A good ol' punch to the nads is the perfect ploy to use against a clearly unstoppable monster in Cutler.

Segment 10: As Matt retreats up the ramp, Kurt Angle's theme hits - apparently he's here to deliver even more bad news for Matt. Last week Angle booked Hardy Party vs. Bucks and Page as his first ever order with AEW, and Matt went ahead and ruined it. And it sure seems like the Hardy Party, Dark Order, hell even Angle himself can't seem to stop themselves from getting involved. So how bout we settle it one final time. Hangman vs. Matt Hardy next week, steel cage. Matt is not happy with this, but Hangman can drink to that. 88% overall

Page should finance the cage and have it be decked out with bling.

Segment 11: PAC vs. Karl Anderson in the main event - a good match for sure but the outcome is something of a foregone conclusion as we continue to build to the final stage of the PAC/Omega feud. Omega attempts to intervene but Rey Fenix cuts Kenny off at the pass. PAC forces Anderson to submit to the Brutalizer. Imagine the horror Kenny will have when he realizes both of these guys signed up for the Gauntlet. PAC and Fenix stand tall to close us out. ***1/4, 75% overall 77% show rating...not bad for a non-clicking show

I imagine the gauntlet can't have that many people participating since I think the game sets the limit of three times a worker can be on the same show before it claims the audience got sick of seeing them. It's the one thing stopping me from doing an all Jenna show.

[Evil Vito]

Originally Posted by M-A-G I don't see how they can get away with demanding a wage increase just for the fuck of it. Like, what metrics is the game using to justify that?

Open contract, so the worker is a freelancer and can therefore demand whatever they want. Usually they'll then want a little more than that per month to ink a written deal but at the rate things are going I'm not booking her more than once a month so she's kinda screwing herself.

Fucking DDP is in his sixties but it's Dustin that decides to hang things up. I'm wondering how long Page hanging around will last. If I'm recalling correctly, any time a worker retires but moves on to another job you have to sign them all over again. I'm sure any bells and whistles they had before will be demanded. Still waiting on Lisa Benton to make that transition to trainer.

It seems retirements are always in line with birthdays so presumably DDP's hanging around for another year, although he's a non-wrestler on an open deal so I don't see myself using him much. If I get a second TV show I'll probably want another charismatic legend as an authority figure for the other show, but that age means he's a retirement risk at any time.

Dear God, the fucking Villanos...

I laughed really hard when I saw that. There are so many people in this database, and those luchadores hang around forever and a day. Meanwhile Daivari can actually still work yet calls it quits at 38.

Just the idea of Billy Gunn still wrestling in the God damn 2020s pisses me off. Luckily imagining Allie and Leva being all hot and sweaty together calms me down and eases my tension...

he's a trainer/coach but with AEW giving so many indy workers paydays during the pandemic by bringing them in to work matches for Dark they've had Billy in there to work with some young guys. I highly suspect he'll be another one that will either become a non-wrestler or go to retirement land once his birthday comes around this year so for the time being I'm having him put over the Dark talent.

The faces should have pulled an Ultimate Alliance and combined their powers, so to speak, and tie Darby's skateboard to the bullrope and have Dustin swing it around. Cody then hangs back and uses his healing skills to rejuvenate the party.

Not gonna lie, even though Dustin is a "natural" tie in to this angle, the retirement kinda accelerates things a bit. It's pretty clear I'm gearing up for Cody/MJF at the PPV and there's also a demand for Darby/MJF too but now with Dustin going out I gotta work him in here while I can. May might be a busy month for MJF.

3 stars is a good enough showing to give the finger to the dud show. I'm guessing Nyla Rose is also some monster type wrestler?

Nyla is transgender and size wise would have something of an advantage over much of the women's roster, but Kong's got way more mass. Kong's AEW stint was so brief they never got the chance to go one on one so that feels like a match worthy of a spot on one of the big PPVs before my next plans for Kong go into effect.

If I had to choose between Lana, Penelope, and Renee as to who is the hottest my dick would just erupt on its own and be down for the count for about a week due to the difficulty of such a decision.

That seems to be nearly an impossible call and I'd have to do a lot of, erm, research to reach a possible conclusion. If any of them cared to influence my decision I'd be open to it.

Are there special rules for that match?

It's similar to the Royal Rumble but the difference is the wrestlers enter in groups instead of one at a time, except for the person who drew the joker card who gets to go in last. Either way the main gimmick of the winner getting a title match is the same.

Hahah, Page continuing to bring more expensive shit with him. A good ol' punch to the nads is the perfect ploy to use against a clearly unstoppable monster in Cutler.

As much as I think heels need to win clean now and again to establish they can actually wrestle when the chips are down, someone like Matt could totally get away with always pulling shenanigans.

I imagine the gauntlet can't have that many people participating since I think the game sets the limit of three times a worker can be on the same show before it claims the audience got sick of seeing them. It's the one thing stopping me from doing an all Jenna show.

Lol yeah I suspect the gauntlet won't be what people are expecting. Having said that, if I actually were to ever do a full show gauntlet I feel like between 3 Kenny matches and 3 PAC matches would cause the world to combust.

[Evil Vito]

After thinking long and hard about it and listening to all they had to offer, I couldn't decide between Lana, Renee, and Penelope so I simply chose all three. As I wrote this show Lana gave me a shoulder massage, Renee fanned me with a huge leaf and Penelope fed me grapes. I gotta say this whole "being the head booker" thing is pretty swell.


AEW Dark: May 11, 2021:
-Kip Sabian def. QT Marshall
-Powerhouse Hobbs def. Billy
-Dr. Britt Baker def. Yuka Sakazaki
-Frankie Kazarian def. Peter Avalon
-The Inner Circle (Sammy Guevara and Jake Hager) def. The Dark Order (Alex Reynolds and John Silver)
-Cody Rhodes def. Jack Evans


AEW Dynamite: May 12, 2021

Segment 1:

Kenny Omega is out with Don Callis, sign up list in hand, to open the show and run the gauntlet. Or is he? You see, Kenny's stamina is unmatched in this business. As Callis explains, between the number of wrestlers who signed up and Kenny's unmatched stamina, he could easy wrestle for over an hour, maybe even the entire two hours of the broadcast. That's simply not fair to the other matches that had been signed for the card.

But instead, he'll give fans the next best thing - a title defense! Kenny Omega believes in rewarding people who take initiative, and so he is more than happy to grant a title opportunity to the very first person who stepped up to the plate and signed up for the gauntlet.

He hands the list over to Kenny to make the big announcement. Kenny looks at it, turns the list upside down, and calls in his next challenger, come on down MICHAEL NAKAZAWA!!!!! 89% overall


Segment 2:

The crowd boos ferociously. Michael Nakazawa is possibly the biggest jobber in the company (and also the least over at 47 overall), hell he's only in the company as a favor to Kenny as they go way back to their days at DDT Wrestling in Japan. How the hell is he getting a title shot?

The whole thing is a big sham as Kenny dispatches of Nakazawa with haste, and Callis towels him off after his hard fought victory. But the crowd gets what they really want as PAC and Rey Fenix run in afterwards to run off Kenny and keep the feud going. He also delivers some news straight from the desk of Kurt Angle: Kenny will face Rey Fenix next week! Give Naka's abysmal overness the rating for this was never going to be great in-game but I don't care, this whole scenario would pop me. **3/4, 74% overall


Segment 3:

Miro arrives backstage, asking Kip Sabian over the phone where he is, apparently Kip has some car trouble. It looks like someone slashed a tire in the parking lot. Before Miro even knows what hit him, Jon Moxley has pounced on him and gets Miro right where he wants him in a 1 on 1 situation. The two throw haymakers as officials intervene. 88% overall


Segment 4:

Over the weekend, it was announced that Awesome Kong vs. Nyla Rose was officially signed for Double or Nothing. Both women picked partners for a tag match, Kong went with her recent rival Hikaru Shida who share mutual respect with one another. Nyla went with Mel, Kong's former associate in the Nightmare Collective.

Mel's substantially less over than everyone else in the match so it's fairly clear what her purpose is here. At one point Mel goes to make a desperate tag but Rose decides to fuck off as she and Vickie retreat, leaving Mel to take the brunt of the beating and the loss. ***, 74% overall


Segment 5:

Team Taz runs down Best Friends, especially Orange Cassidy. Taz attempts to justify Brian Cage's assault on Cassidy last week. Who does that aloof moron think he can upstage "The Machine"? Enter Orange Cassidy, Chuck Taylor, and Kris Statlander. Orange points at Cage's TNT Championship and looks at the Double or Nothing poster in the background. Orange lays down a challenge without saying a single word. 83% overall


Segment 6:

Another match signed over the weekend sees Dustin Rhodes back at it, attempting to beat some sense into MJF in a Bullrope match. MJF deplores having to waste his time wrestling someone who should have retired years ago, but quickly gets a reality check when Dustin beats the ever loving fuck out of him early on.

MJF has to get on the defensive and eventually find his mean streak, conveniently after Wardlow intervened. MJF goes to town with the bullrope, using the no DQ nature of the match to beat Dustin bloody with the bell at the end of the rope. South Hamptons Plunge onto the bell and MJF wins.

MJF tells everyone that Cody has challenged him to a match at Double or Nothing, but MJF has already beaten Cody once. Why should he grant him another match? Just like the last time they faced off, MJF will only do it on HIS terms. Last time he gave Cody three stipulations to get to the match, and it's gonna be no different this time. Cody will learn these stipulations in due time. As a final insult, he busts out the Double Cross (Cross Rhodes) on Dustin right onto the bell to get the win. ***, 80% overall


Segment 7:

Last week Eddie Kingston became the first man to announce his entry into the Casino Battle Royale, tonight he faces another man who has declared in Matt Sydal. I thought these two might be a clash of styles with Eddie being a brawler and Sydal being a speed guy, but they ended up meshing extremely well. Despite being the self proclaimed toughest man in wrestling, Kingston once again couldn't close the deal without help from Butcher and the Blade, spinning backfist after a distraction finishes it.

"Everybody Dies" hits as Lance Archer appears on the ramp with Jake Roberts. Archer has not forgotten Kingston screwing him over a couple of weeks ago. On the tron, they show the finish of the 2020 Casino Battle Royale in which Archer eliminated Kingston to win the match (referencing events from previous years? That's allowed?) History is gonna repeat itself in a few weeks because Archer is back in the Casino Battle Royale too. ***1/2, 85% overall


Segment 8:

A video package for Darby Allin plays. He speaks of unfinished business with MJF for what he did to Sting, but he'll wait until MJF's done getting his reckoning from the Rhodes boys. After losing his TNT Title, he's keen to get back into the title picture, so he too is entering the Casino Battle Royale. 74% overall


Segment 9:

We have our second tag match in the #1 contender mini tournament. Evil Uno and Stu Grayson of The Dark Order face off against FTR, with the winners to face Santana and Ortiz next week for the Double or Nothing title shot against The Bucks.

I'm seeing firsthand how much the tag experience rating comes into play. FTR have teamed for 7 years and Uno and Grayson (formerly the Super Smash Brothers on the indies) have been teaming for 15 years, so both teams gel very well and they've got similar in-ring stats to boot. So yeah, this was easily match of the night to the tune of a 95% quality.

With Tully Blanchard and Shawn Spears being nuisances at ringside, it seems FTR will connive their way victory only for the music of SCU to hit. Frankie Kazarian and Scorpio Sky emerge and corner Spears at ringside. Spears tries to leave for the crowd but OH SHIT Christopher Daniels is in the crowd waiting for him! SCU are on a united front putting a beating on Spears, which distracts FTR in the ring. Dax Harwood is thrown out and Cash Wheeler takes a Fatality as Dark Order pick up the win! ****1/4, 84% overall


Segment 10:

Medics are checking on Dustin backstage as Cody is checking in on him. Dustin wants nothing more than to see Cody get his hands on MJF. But after the beating he took tonight, he's coming to a conclusion he thought he never would: it might be time to put this old body down.

Cody tries to talk some sense into Dustin and tell him he's still got fight in the tank. Before he can get too far with his speech though, the Inner Circle show up "coming in peace" as MJF tells Cody his first stipulation: Dustin better get his old ass back in gear if he wants Cody to get his match, because next week the Rhodes Boys have to wrestle Sammy Guevara and Jake Hager.


Segment 11:

The AEW cage looks a bit more bedazzled than usual, courtesy of Hangman Page as he looks to build off of the momentum the Dark Order just built by settling the score once and for all over Matt Hardy.

The two more or less have a prototypical cage match hitting the usual spots as the announcers remind us of their history while also saying that while this match will be their last one on one encounter for now, they may cross paths again sooner than they'd like as both men have also been confirmed for the Casino Battle Royale.

At one point, Matt manages to hit Hangman with a sick looking Twist of Fate from the top. He instinctively goes for the pin but alas, no pins allowed in AEW cage matches. Matt slowly makes his way up the cage, looking like he's actually going to pull it off! He gets to the corner of the cage, looks down at Hangman and his hatred of Hangman seems to have him contemplating a leg drop from the top as the crowd dares him to do it.

He then scoffs and asks the fans "what do you think I am, some kind of spot monkey?" and starts laughing in amusement at his triumph. He laughs a bit too long as when he opens his eyes, Hangman is straddling the top of the cage with him. Matt sells it with great facial expressions and Hangman lariats Matt off the top, sending him crotch first into the rope below. Hangman climbs down and jumps to the floor for the big win. Matt looks in disgust as Hangman drinks a celebratory beer as Dynamite goes off the air. ***1/4, 88% overall

82% overall show rating

[Jordan]

Guys there is a new booking game in development called Pro Wrestling Promoter. Seems to be a response to TEW 2020, which many people didn't like. I'm playing 2020 still but I understand. https://twitter.com/prowrespromoter?s=09

[M-A-G]

Originally Posted by Conspiracy Victim Vito After thinking long and hard about it and listening to all they had to offer, I couldn't decide between Lana, Renee, and Penelope so I simply chose all three. As I wrote this show Lana gave me a shoulder massage, Renee fanned me with a huge leaf and Penelope fed me grapes. I gotta say this whole "being the head booker" thing is pretty swell.

Renee has to deal with Moxley so I can only assume she's into some kinky shit which is a bit of a turn off but she has the Canadian thing going for her. Lana is just straight up hot with a hell of a figure. Penelope...oops, there went my dick....

AEW Dark: May 11, 2021: -Kip Sabian def. QT Marshall -Powerhouse Hobbs def. Billy -Dr. Britt Baker def. Yuka Sakazaki -Frankie Kazarian def. Peter Avalon -The Inner Circle (Sammy Guevara and Jake Hager) def. The Dark Order (Alex Reynolds and John Silver) -Cody Rhodes def. Jack Evans

The fact that you're back into things with a vengeance and pumping out the shows fairly quick is kind of lighting a fire under my ass to get back to work on my shows. I'm sure Jenna and Faith miss me....

AEW Dynamite: May 12, 2021 Segment 1: Kenny Omega is out with Don Callis, sign up list in hand, to open the show and run the gauntlet. Or is he? You see, Kenny's stamina is unmatched in this business. As Callis explains, between the number of wrestlers who signed up and Kenny's unmatched stamina, he could easy wrestle for over an hour, maybe even the entire two hours of the broadcast. That's simply not fair to the other matches that had been signed for the card. But instead, he'll give fans the next best thing - a title defense! Kenny Omega believes in rewarding people who take initiative, and so he is more than happy to grant a title opportunity to the very first person who stepped up to the plate and signed up for the gauntlet. He hands the list over to Kenny to make the big announcement. Kenny looks at it, turns the list upside down, and calls in his next challenger, come on down MICHAEL NAKAZAWA!!!!! 89% overall

OK, I know I've seen that pulled off before by another dick heel but I just can't remember who. I remember laughing my ass off, though, because that's such an awesome dick thing to do and this was further proof of that.

Segment 2: The crowd boos ferociously. Michael Nakazawa is possibly the biggest jobber in the company (and also the least over at 47 overall), hell he's only in the company as a favor to Kenny as they go way back to their days at DDT Wrestling in Japan. How the hell is he getting a title shot? The whole thing is a big sham as Kenny dispatches of Nakazawa with haste, and Callis towels him off after his hard fought victory. But the crowd gets what they really want as PAC and Rey Fenix run in afterwards to run off Kenny and keep the feud going. He also delivers some news straight from the desk of Kurt Angle: Kenny will face Rey Fenix next week! Give Naka's abysmal overness the rating for this was never going to be great in-game but I don't care, this whole scenario would pop me. **3/4, 74% overall

I'm telling you, if the game had a way to make it clear that a match is intended to be merely a squash so it won't penalize you, it'd be great.

Segment 3: Miro arrives backstage, asking Kip Sabian over the phone where he is, apparently Kip has some car trouble. It looks like someone slashed a tire in the parking lot. Before Miro even knows what hit him, Jon Moxley has pounced on him and gets Miro right where he wants him in a 1 on 1 situation. The two throw haymakers as officials intervene. 88% overall

Kip should have just tried turning it off and then on again.

Segment 4: Over the weekend, it was announced that Awesome Kong vs. Nyla Rose was officially signed for Double or Nothing. Both women picked partners for a tag match, Kong went with her recent rival Hikaru Shida who share mutual respect with one another. Nyla went with Mel, Kong's former associate in the Nightmare Collective. Mel's substantially less over than everyone else in the match so it's fairly clear what her purpose is here. At one point Mel goes to make a desperate tag but Rose decides to fuck off as she and Vickie retreat, leaving Mel to take the brunt of the beating and the loss. ***, 74% overall

Awesome Kong needs to get her hands on Vickie and power bomb all of the "Excuse Me" right out of her. Like, to the point where she'd be physically incapable of uttering those words ever again.

Segment 5: Team Taz runs down Best Friends, especially Orange Cassidy. Taz attempts to justify Brian Cage's assault on Cassidy last week. Who does that aloof moron think he can upstage "The Machine"? Enter Orange Cassidy, Chuck Taylor, and Kris Statlander. Orange points at Cage's TNT Championship and looks at the Double or Nothing poster in the background. Orange lays down a challenge without saying a single word. 83% overall

Not quite 'Point at the WrestleMania Sign' but it'll do.

Segment 6: Another match signed over the weekend sees Dustin Rhodes back at it, attempting to beat some sense into MJF in a Bullrope match. MJF deplores having to waste his time wrestling someone who should have retired years ago, but quickly gets a reality check when Dustin beats the ever loving fuck out of him early on. MJF has to get on the defensive and eventually find his mean streak, conveniently after Wardlow intervened. MJF goes to town with the bullrope, using the no DQ nature of the match to beat Dustin bloody with the bell at the end of the rope. South Hamptons Plunge onto the bell and MJF wins. MJF tells everyone that Cody has challenged him to a match at Double or Nothing, but MJF has already beaten Cody once. Why should he grant him another match? Just like the last time they faced off, MJF will only do it on HIS terms. Last time he gave Cody three stipulations to get to the match, and it's gonna be no different this time. Cody will learn these stipulations in due time. As a final insult, he busts out the Double Cross (Cross Rhodes) on Dustin right onto the bell to get the win. ***, 80% overall

This is great stuff and just the right way to use poor Dustin. I say 'poor Dustin' but the fucker's banged Terri Runnels so I'm never going to feel too bad for him.

Segment 7: Last week Eddie Kingston became the first man to announce his entry into the Casino Battle Royale, tonight he faces another man who has declared in Matt Sydal. I thought these two might be a clash of styles with Eddie being a brawler and Sydal being a speed guy, but they ended up meshing extremely well. Despite being the self proclaimed toughest man in wrestling, Kingston once again couldn't close the deal without help from Butcher and the Blade, spinning backfist after a distraction finishes it. "Everybody Dies" hits as Lance Archer appears on the ramp with Jake Roberts. Archer has not forgotten Kingston screwing him over a couple of weeks ago. On the tron, they show the finish of the 2020 Casino Battle Royale in which Archer eliminated Kingston to win the match (referencing events from previous years? That's allowed?) History is gonna repeat itself in a few weeks because Archer is back in the Casino Battle Royale too. ***1/2, 85% overall

Pretty sure anything past 6 months gets wiped from history according to modern day rules. I think the only time guys don't mesh is if the majority of their stats aren't close together enough. Like a guy with 85 brawl and a guy with 84 speed can still work well if the rest of the stats are like in the sixties. Don't quote me on that, though.

Segment 8: A video package for Darby Allin plays. He speaks of unfinished business with MJF for what he did to Sting, but he'll wait until MJF's done getting his reckoning from the Rhodes boys. After losing his TNT Title, he's keen to get back into the title picture, so he too is entering the Casino Battle Royale. 74% overall

What's the limit on the number of entries?

[quote]Segment 9:

We have our second tag match in the #1 contender mini tournament. Evil Uno and Stu Grayson of The Dark Order face off against FTR, with the winners to face Santana and Ortiz next week for the Double or Nothing title shot against The Bucks.

I'm seeing firsthand how much the tag experience rating comes into play. FTR have teamed for 7 years and Uno and Grayson (formerly the Super Smash Brothers on the indies) have been teaming for 15 years, so both teams gel very well and they've got similar in-ring stats to boot. So yeah, this was easily match of the night to the tune of a 95% quality.

With Tully Blanchard and Shawn Spears being nuisances at ringside, it seems FTR will connive their way victory only for the music of SCU to hit. Frankie Kazarian and Scorpio Sky emerge and corner Spears at ringside. Spears tries to leave for the crowd but OH SHIT Christopher Daniels is in the crowd waiting for him! SCU are on a united front putting a beating on Spears, which distracts FTR in the ring. Dax Harwood is thrown out and Cash Wheeler takes a Fatality as Dark Order pick up the win! ****1/4, 84% overall

I'm telling you, get enough teams with an experience rating high enough and you can smoke up all of them snowflakes with plenty to spare. Even more so if you do a TLC. Christopher Daniels still managing to contribute, I see.

Segment 10: Medics are checking on Dustin backstage as Cody is checking in on him. Dustin wants nothing more than to see Cody get his hands on MJF. But after the beating he took tonight, he's coming to a conclusion he thought he never would: it might be time to put this old body down. Cody tries to talk some sense into Dustin and tell him he's still got fight in the tank. Before he can get too far with his speech though, the Inner Circle show up "coming in peace" as MJF tells Cody his first stipulation: Dustin better get his old ass back in gear if he wants Cody to get his match, because next week the Rhodes Boys have to wrestle Sammy Guevara and Jake Hager.

Hmmm...tough to gauge where you might go with that tag match. I mean, Dustin SHOULD do the job but if we're building to Cody getting what he's after, there's room for a fluke win or something.

Segment 11: The AEW cage looks a bit more bedazzled than usual, courtesy of Hangman Page as he looks to build off of the momentum the Dark Order just built by settling the score once and for all over Matt Hardy.

He then scoffs and asks the fans "what do you think I am, some kind of spot monkey?" [/b]

Well, I mean....

A lot of what you're doing seems to be paying dividends, the tag teams in particular. Plus there was a strong ending to the show. Could've used some more Penelope but I imagine you're going to use all of that money to sign Mark Henry now.

[M-A-G]

Originally Posted by Jordan X Guys there is a new booking game in development called Pro Wrestling Promoter. Seems to be a response to TEW 2020, which many people didn't like. I'm playing 2020 still but I understand. https://twitter.com/prowrespromoter?s=09

That's good and all but I have virtually zero knowledge of any of the current product and little to no interest in learning about it for the sake of another game. Heck, I've had to slow up on my current game due to lack of time. Hopefully that'll change soon.

[Evil Vito]

The fact that you're back into things with a vengeance and pumping out the shows fairly quick is kind of lighting a fire under my ass to get back to work on my shows. I'm sure Jenna and Faith miss me....

Haha, I wonder why I even bother posting the Dark results. There's little to no angles involved unless I happen to notice I can have members of a tag team work singles matches, etc. It's just keeping people I'm not using on Dynamite busy. With the size of my roster I'm not far off from doing an 11 match Dark card cause it's just a web show and can be as long as I want it to be.

OK, I know I've seen that pulled off before by another dick heel but I just can't remember who. I remember laughing my ass off, though, because that's such an awesome dick thing to do and this was further proof of that.

You'd be right! Austin did it during the Invasion angle, instead of calling out Angle he called out Scotty Too Hotty. It was one of my favorite under the radar heel moments and something I'd love to see done again.

Awesome Kong needs to get her hands on Vickie and power bomb all of the "Excuse Me" right out of her. Like, to the point where she'd be physically incapable of uttering those words ever again.

Come to think, she's much too annoying of a character to not get a proper comeuppance write off.

Like a guy with 85 brawl and a guy with 84 speed can still work well if the rest of the stats are like in the sixties. Don't quote me on that, though.

Oops, you said don't quote you on that it is interesting to see the feedback I get in e-mails after shows, it's nice to get a surprise in there where guys worked better together than I expected.

The ratings might not be far off though, I remember getting far better ratings than I should in earlier saves for matches involving guys like The Miz and Nikki Bella, purely because despite not being above the 60s in any one in-ring stat, they were similar enough to their opponent for it to work.

What's the limit on the number of entries?

It is traditionally a 21 man match. How I'll be able to book such a thing in EWR is beyond me, I'm sure it'll work itself out.

Hmmm...tough to gauge where you might go with that tag match. I mean, Dustin SHOULD do the job but if we're building to Cody getting what he's after, there's room for a fluke win or something.

I've got a nice idea planned for it. When all is said and done this will complete a 4 match story arc for Dustin in the span of a month. I've never booked someone to wrestle in 4 straight Dynamites but given the short retirement notice period EWR provides, I'll make do. I love Dustin, dude was always a bit underappreciated and all these years later a solid hand who helps the young guys. So I'm fine with giving him something compelling on the way out.

Could've used some more Penelope but I imagine you're going to use all of that money to sign Mark Henry now.

I assume Mark's getting a far cry from the 10-year megadeal he was on in WWE. All indications are he's purely there in a non-wrestling capacity (announcer, coach, talent scout) so I'm fine with bringing the big guy in for stuff like that.

One thing I do like about TEW that EWR doesn't have is that the blend between wrestlers and staff more closely mirrors real life. Like you can have a legend employed as a road agent but still book them in angles, etc. Aside from being able to assign certain wrestlers as announcers, you don't have any of that in EWR.

[Evil Vito]

Originally Posted by Jordan X Guys there is a new booking game in development called Pro Wrestling Promoter. Seems to be a response to TEW 2020, which many people didn't like. I'm playing 2020 still but I understand. https://twitter.com/prowrespromoter?s=09

Thanks for sending, I might be keen to check it out when it's ready.

I actually haven't played TEW 2020 yet. Everything I've read sounds like it has unmatched depth and is exactly the kind of thing I could get lost in for hours and hours. At the same time I remember earlier TEWs it would take me forever just to book one show and I'd end up going back to the simplicity of EWR.

I might give it another go at some point. Out of the Park Baseball is another example of a game with stupid amounts of depth that I eventually resisted but eventually fell in love with.

[M-A-G]

Ugh, of course it was heel Austin. No wonder I barely remember it. I would have thought it was someone like like JBL.

[Jordan]

Originally Posted by Conspiracy Victim Vito Thanks for sending, I might be keen to check it out when it's ready. I actually haven't played TEW 2020 yet. Everything I've read sounds like it has unmatched depth and is exactly the kind of thing I could get lost in for hours and hours. At the same time I remember earlier TEWs it would take me forever just to book one show and I'd end up going back to the simplicity of EWR. I might give it another go at some point. Out of the Park Baseball is another example of a game with stupid amounts of depth that I eventually resisted but eventually fell in love with.

I could never go back to EWR. I've been on the TEW road since the beginning. It does take A LOT longer because the game is more in depth and detailed. But that's what I love about it. With 2020 the mods haven't been as plentiful for whatever reason. I think because they take a long time to make and people didn't play this one as much because it had a rough start. But I really like it. I do look forward to trying PWP for a quicker smoother interface. If you are playing EWR and want to bump up I'd suggest 2016 perhaps because it's a little simpler than 2020, but still a huge difference from EWR. It would still have quite the learning curve. Plus the mods for 2016 are the best available in my opinion.

[Evil Vito]

Yeah 2020 had a ton of rollout issues, to the point where Ryland might be done with wrestling sims rather than dealing with the headache again. I'd definitely want a good present day mod in anything I play.

EWR is more of a writing activity for me since I book stuff that goes above what I'm actually booking in-game

[Evil Vito]

This was a hilarious snippet on EW Battleground of someone describing their TEW 2020 game:

Playing around with a 1996 mod, Scott Hudson and Don Callis are my commentary team. After about a month I discover a young Mauro Ranallo is in the game, ask him to work in America and hire him as the 3rd man in the booth. After Mauro's first show, Scott Hudson was killed by exploding, and experts are baffled by what caused it. Mama mia, Mauro sure knows how to cover his tracks

[M-A-G]

I don't think that's what Michael Cole means when he exclaims "HE JUST EXPLODED THROUGH THIS TABLE!!!"

[Jordan]

Originally Posted by Conspiracy Victim Vito This was a hilarious snippet on EW Battleground of someone describing their TEW 2020 game:

This type of thing is not very common.

[M-A-G]

Raw: August 27, 2040

Damn, it's almost been a month since my last show. I hope I'm still able to do this.

We open with Brooke in the ring looking proud as a peacock as she addresses the crowd. "I hope everyone who watched the ending of SummerSlam last night understands that what happened to Noah Carmichael was necessary and inevitable. You see, it apparently doesn't matter if you're one the biggest rising stars in the WWE. It apparently doesn't matter if you've went UNDEFEATED for more than TWO YEARS! It apparently doesn't matter if you're a former 2-time Intercontinental Champion. It apparently doesn't matter if you were within an eyelash of upsetting the World Champion on two separate occasions. None of that matters because as long as you don't feel like it, you can ignore all of that at your leisure and everyone just thinks it fine and dandy. Well, Salvatore Scabbia is tired of being ignored. He ticks all of those checkboxes I just listed and yet Noah Carmichael can just get away with ducking him as a challenger. Scabbia had you beat at No Way Out! He had you beat in the King of the Ring tournament! He had the Unified World Title taken away from him and you want to act surprised over what happened last night? Now, over the course of my career, both as a competitor and as a manager, I've done pretty much everything...with one exception. I have yet to manage a World Champion and I plan on checking that box, too. Sorry, Noah, but the running is over. On behalf of my client, Salvatore Scabbia, I am challenging you to defend your Unified World Title at Unforgiven against the man you dared to ignore for far too long. Now, we're perfectly aware that you're in no condition to answer right now, much less even be here tonight, but we will be expecting an answer....and it had better be the right one. You won't be taking this from me, Noah. I have the biggest and brightest up and coming star under my guidance and no one can dispute that!"

Cue somebody who is capable of disputing that, namely another former women's competitor turned manager, Madison. Madison joins Brooke in the ring and makes her own case. "Well, I don't know about everyone else here but what I saw last night was your client just throwing a temper tantrum. MY client, on the other hand, had quite the SummerSlam debut actually WINNING a match. Now, granted Alexander Piero has got a ways to go before I can start coming out here like you and throwing my own little pity party and making demands, but I can definitely make the claim that he's got himself quite the upside...maybe bigger than your guy."

"Hey, Scabbia has got no problem putting his money where his mouth is. You want to try running in this elite circle? Fine; let's see your guy drag his ass out here for tonight's main event. Scabbia vs. Piero! How about it?"

"We'll see you both out here later. You're on!" Looks like we've got our main event!

Backstage we've got an irate Brandon Reigns storming through the halls. He runs into an interviewer who questions him on what he's doing. He claims he's looking for Seth Von Kamp, the man who STOLE his Intercontinental Title last night! Reigns is informed that Seth isn't here tonight as he's off doing some promotional work on the late night circuit. Reigns says that it would be typical for a coward like Seth to be absent. Guess he was full of it when he talked about a champion not living up to their responsibilities.

First Match: The Play Pals vs. The Millennium Rebels
King Kavovit is on commentary making the claims that Moses McKay would be here at his side if not for the disgusting attack perpetrated by the Play Pals that sidelined him. The announcers press him on the fact that he has yet to provide any sort of evidence of that claim. Kavovit pushes back by claiming that it doesn't matter because McKay will be back soon, 100%. Then they'll put those children, Jones and Haywood, in their place. During this diatribe, quite the match is taking place. Kavovit can't contain himself and tries to ruin things for the Play Pals but Haywood turns the tables on him and manages to lock in Sammy Brady in the Rage Quit for the tap out. *****. 97% overall.

Backstage Luscious is on the phone with her boo the Cruiserweight Champion. Martyn LaSalle decides to storm in on the sick exchange of baby talk and gets in her face, no doubt upset over what went down last night. Luscious warns him of all the potential legal trouble Galino & Farnes will put him through if LaSalle does anything too drastic. LaSalle grabs the phone and tells Hotbody that since he can't make it here tonight, one of his stooges will just have to take his place. LaSalle tells Luscious to make her choice and send them out later.

Second Match: Faith Connors vs. Eclypse
Fresh off the historic match that crowned the first WWE Women's Tag Team Champions. This is another of Faith's specialties where she gets tossed around and plays underdog. Naomi and Jenna are on the outside, seconding their respective partners. Faith gets tossed to the outside in front of Naomi and the Women's Champion just can't help herself and decides to send Faith into the steps, causing the DQ. Naomi looks to cause some more damage but Eclypse wants to know what is Naomi's malfunction. Jenna breaks things up by shoving Eclypse into Naomi and gets Faith to safety. The heels don't look too happy with each other. *****, 95% overall.

Third Match: Jason Sorola vs. Josh Turmell
Sorola warns Shawn Dangerson that he's not off his radar just yet and there will be more to come between them. Anyways, this is nothing more than a solid outing for Sorola as Dangerson needs a good heel to beat on his way to the top. Sorola gets the tap out win with the STF. *****, 94% overall.

We get a video recap of the Haven/Wrakk feud culminating in what went down between the two at SummerSlam. Both men suffered some pretty nasty boo-boos but they'll be back.

Fourth Match: The Brooklyn Sisterhood vs. The Glitz Girls
Got to get the women jockeying for position to become future challengers to the new titles. Nothing decisive here as Billie Padgett gets counted out but we get a brawl afterwards. *****, 95% overall.

Fifth Match: Martyn LaSalle vs. Freddie Galino
Galino gets on the mic and claims that he wasn't necessarily picked so he could compete. He was picked so that he could ask Martyn LaSalle for forgiveness. You see, Jimmy Farnes can sometimes be really forgetful about things and it's not his fault. Galino knows Farnes very well and the severity of the condition that he has to suffer with but they work together regardless because Galino is understanding. He asks LaSalle to also be understanding and forgive Farnes for accidentally leaving behind their prized gavel. Besides, it's not like any of them made LaSalle lose the match anyway! LaSalle tapped out! The referee said so! So there's no need for hostility. LaSalle comes out to argue that point...namely by unleashing a shitload of hostility onto the face of Galino. This is more angle than match as LaSalle looks to lock in the Martynizer but Jimmy Farnes runs into to attack LaSalle for the DQ. LaSalle looks to be at the mercy of Hotbody's goons but JORDAN DEMIRAS RUNS DOWN AND MAKES THE SAVE!!! WTF?!?!? ****1/2, 92% overall.

Backstage, we see Luscious and her reaction as she's evidently getting an earful from Michael Hotbody over the phone. Luscious promises to try to handle things. She only makes it so far down the hall after hanging up before running into Sophie Waters. Waters finds it amusing what went down just now with Jordan Demiras making his return. Luscious claims that she doesn't have time for this. Waters can see that as there are apparently more balls than she can juggle. And that's not even taking into account the next person who might want to challenge Hotbody for the Cruiserweight Title. It could be anyone...even someone...dangerous.

MAIN EVENT: Salvatore Scabbia w/Brooke vs. Alexander Piero w/Madison
Ugh, the charisma of these two really dragged this down. Regardless, Brooke makes it a point to insult Madison some more, claiming that Madison always had a knack for biting off more than she can chew. Piero tries his damndest here and he gets a good showing. He certainly needs more miles under his belt and I don't think he should be beating someone like Scabbia anytime soon. So we get the overbooking torpedoes launched as the two ladies on the outside cause a fuss with their war of words and mild physicality. This is enough to cause Scabbia to take advantage of the bruhahah and lock in the Omerta causing Piero to pass out. Scabbia stands tall as he's made another case to be the number one contender. ****1/2, 90% overall.

Overall show rating: 89%

[Evil Vito]

Woooo it's back!

Originally Posted by M-A-G We open with Brooke in the ring looking proud as a peacock

WWE moving all streaming to Peacock in 2021 2040 confirmed!

Backstage we've got an irate Brandon Reigns storming through the halls. He runs into an interviewer who questions him on what he's doing. He claims he's looking for Seth Von Kamp, the man who STOLE his Intercontinental Title last night! Reigns is informed that Seth isn't here tonight as he's off doing some promotional work on the late night circuit. Reigns says that it would be typical for a coward like Seth to be absent. Guess he was full of it when he talked about a champion not living up to their responsibilities.

I was running through the roster of late night hosts he could feasibly be sitting down with and then remembered you're so far into the future they'd all be in their 70s or dead by this point.

First Match: The Play Pals vs. The Millennium Rebels King Kavovit is on commentary making the claims that Moses McKay would be here at his side if not for the disgusting attack perpetrated by the Play Pals that sidelined him. The announcers press him on the fact that he has yet to provide any sort of evidence of that claim. Kavovit pushes back by claiming that it doesn't matter because McKay will be back soon, 100%. Then they'll put those children, Jones and Haywood, in their place. During this diatribe, quite the match is taking place. Kavovit can't contain himself and tries to ruin things for the Play Pals but Haywood turns the tables on him and manages to lock in Sammy Brady in the Rage Quit for the tap out. *****. 97% overall.

Behold the glory of 100 tag experience excellence!

Backstage Luscious is on the phone with her boo the Cruiserweight Champion. Martyn LaSalle decides to storm in on the sick exchange of baby talk and gets in her face, no doubt upset over what went down last night. Luscious warns him of all the potential legal trouble Galino & Farnes will put him through if LaSalle does anything too drastic. LaSalle grabs the phone and tells Hotbody that since he can't make it here tonight, one of his stooges will just have to take his place. LaSalle tells Luscious to make her choice and send them out later.

Hotbody is totally doing baby talk on the other end. Reminds me of Zack Ryder when he was on his initial solo run in ECW and he literally said during a promo "Shout out to my girlfriend - WHAT'S UP BABY GIRL? I LOVE YOU - XO XO" so obnoxious

Fourth Match: The Brooklyn Sisterhood vs. The Glitz Girls Got to get the women jockeying for position to become future challengers to the new titles. Nothing decisive here as Billie Padgett gets counted out but we get a brawl afterwards. *****, 95% overall.

Double the tag division, double the snowflakes!

LaSalle looks to be at the mercy of Hotbody's goons but JORDAN DEMIRAS RUNS DOWN AND MAKES THE SAVE!!! WTF?!?!? ****1/2, 92% overall.

The Alliance to End Hotbodymania?

Backstage, we see Luscious and her reaction as she's evidently getting an earful from Michael Hotbody over the phone. Luscious promises to try to handle things. She only makes it so far down the hall after hanging up before running into Sophie Waters. Waters finds it amusing what went down just now with Jordan Demiras making his return. Luscious claims that she doesn't have time for this. Waters can see that as there are apparently more balls than she can juggle. And that's not even taking into account the next person who might want to challenge Hotbody for the Cruiserweight Title. It could be anyone...even someone...dangerous.

Hmm....who could that be?

I SO hope Hotbody has Galino and Farnes do an inquiry into whether or not Dangerson is his real name all while everyone just blissfully looks past the ridiculousness of his own last name.

[M-A-G]

I was running through the roster of late night hosts he could feasibly be sitting down with and then remembered you're so far into the future they'd all be in their 70s or dead by this point.

I don't know if I stumbled across a glitch or whatever the fuck but in 3.0 I had a weird phenomenon of none of my staff ever aging. Like, Michael Cole is still 39 right now. Granted anyone over the proper age still went through retirement but I basically have a ton of the old school crew still hanging around.

[Evil Vito]

After a raucous few nights in the bedroom with Allie and trying to avoid being murdered by The Butcher and The Blade, I'm back for another week.




AEW Dark: May 18, 2021:
-Dr. Britt Baker def. Leva Bates
-"Absolute" Ricky Starks def. QT Marshall
-Chuck Taylor def. Brian Pillman Jr.
-The Dark Order (Colt Cabana, Alex Reynolds, and John Silver) def. Luther, Serpentico, and Peter Avalon
-Shawn Spears def. Brandon Cutler
-Darby Allin def. Angelico


AEW Dynamite: May 19, 2021

Segment 1:

We were scheduled to open with tag team action but instead, "Superbad" Kip Sabian and Penelope Ford hit the ring before the Dynamite intro could even finish and he immediately talked trash on Jon Moxley, accusing him of slashing his tires last week. He challenged Mox to a fight right there, right now.

I think everybody knew Miro would be just waiting to pounce to beat on Mox with his best friend, but I don't think it came soon enough for Kip. I also don't think Kip was expecting Kurt Angle to send referee Mike Posey out to the ring to turn it into an impromptu match. Mox didn't even take his jacket off, flattening Kip with a few lariats and a Paradigm Shift in a quick win.

As Penelope tends to her beau, out comes Miro finally. Miro marches down to the ring only to think better of it, wanting to save it for Double or Nothing in 10 days. ***, 78% overall


Segment 2:

And from that, we move into our actual scheduled opener. Cody and Dustin are out first to a big hand from the crowd. Sammy Guevara and Jake Hager are out next accompanied by MJF and Wardlow.

MJF addresses Cody on the mic on the way down, stating his second stipulation if he is to agree to face Cody at Double or Nothing. You might think he's going to make Cody put his career on the line against him, but he's not going to do that. He's going for something even more personal...he knows how hard Cody Rhodes fought to reclaim his name from some rich guy, well if Cody loses, he can sign those naming rights right back over to another one. Cody Rhodes will be dead forever and MJF will own him.

This seemed to just stoke a fire for both of the Rhodes boys, as they started the match with a house of fire and took Guevara and Hager to the proverbial woodshed. They end up having themselves a good tag match. Cody and Sammy brawl in the ring not as the legal man, Sammy slips to the outside to take a breather with MJF and Wardlow only for Cody to hit a Moonsault to the outside on all of them.

This distracts Hager long enough for Dustin to spin him around and hit him with the Final Reckoning! And it's over! The Rhodes brothers get the win and it's an enormous victory for Dustin as well, calling back to his loss against Hager way back at Revolution 2020. This seems to fire up Dustin who last week was questioning his future.

An incensed MJF gets back on the mic. "Hey Cody, remember how I said I wasn't going to make you put your career on the line against me? I was telling the truth. Instead, you're going to have to win a match next week when the opponent is putting his career against you. You want me next at Double or Nothing? You have to win a career threatening match against...DUSTIN RHODES!!!" Mic drop. MJF is the biggest dickhead of all time. ***1/4, 83% overall


Segment 3:

The Dark Order are backstage hanging out in a big locker room. Adam Page, Evil Uno, and Stu Grayson are talking about their wins from last week as Silver and Reynolds play foosball and Colt enjoys some fancy massage chair. Eddie Kingston, The Butcher, and The Blade make a surprise appearance. Kingston and Page, two of the favorites for the Casino Battle Royale, get in each others face and a brawl between the groups is teased. I love a good stable war. 81% overall


Segment 4:

"Where is My Mind?" by the Pixies hits which means Orange Cassidy is on his way to the ring with Chuck Taylor for more tag team action against Powerhouse Hobbs and Ricky Starks of Team Taz. Another pretty solid tag match that sees OC's Double or Nothing opponent Brian Cage attempt to interject himself only for Orange to send Ricky Starks into him, crashing him off the apron. Superman Punch to Starks and the faces get the win.

The big hosses Cage and Hobbs get back into the ring for the 3 on 2 beatdown until Kris Statlander appears on the ramp and waves somebody out from the back. It's........Trent? We haven't seen him in months coming off of a torn pectoral muscle! Trent hits the ring and helps rid Taz's minions. The four Best Friends all look at each other and have a big group hug. ***, 77% overall


Segment 5:

We have even MORE tag drama as we cut backstage to see FTR meeting Christopher Daniels and Frankie Kazarian in the hallway, Tully lays down the formal challenge for Double or Nothing, as FTR wants to get the revenge on SCU they deserve. It leads to all 4 men brawling which leads to officials having to intervene. It's fun having so many teams and stables to book, imagine having actual tag depth? 79% overall


Segment 6:

Nyla Rose dipped out of her tag match last week but this week it was no such option as she was made to face Hikaru Shida and per orders of Kurt Angle, Nyla getting herself counted out would cause a forfeit. The two are no strangers to each other, with Shida hholding a 2020 triumph over Rose to win the AEW Women's Title.

The two continued the streak of good matches on this week's Dynamite, gelling well together. Vickie Guerrero at one point undoes one of the middle turnbuckle pads and Rose sends the unsuspecting Shida into it with a drop toe hold. Shida is out cold and Rose grabs the cheap win.

Vickie Guerrero laughs at the victory, but the face of elation turns to one of pure terror as Awesome Kong arrives at ringside and grabs Vickie by the hair, prompting her shrill scream. Kong doesn't hurt Vickie (yet) but does carve out a lock of her hair all as Rose looks on mortified. ***, 77% overall


Segment 7:

Young Bucks interview. Usual interview asking if they have any preferences on the #1 contenders match coming up (spoiler alert: they don't). Not much here, just had to get these over guys onto the show. 88% overall


Segment 8:

#1 contenders tag match: Santana and Ortiz of Inner Circle vs. Uno and Grayson of Dark Order. Do we continue our streak? You god damn right we do. This is turning out to be one of the better Dynamites in terms of in-ring quality and the crowd reactions have steadily been getting better too.

The heels turn to their weapon of choice (the madball/rock in a sock) in this one, Ortiz waffling Grayson with it when he was sent into the ropes. Santana, perhaps sending a direct message to the Bucks, follows up with a Superkick to finish it off.

Santana and Ortiz earn the Double or Nothing title shot, as the announcers mention they're one of the few teams to have a victory over the Bucks in AEW. The Bucks stand up at the commentary table and face their new challengers. ***1/2, 82% overall


Segment 9:

The Rhodes Brothers are backstage. Cody is distraught. MJF's head games have reached a new low. He already agreed to put his Cody Rhodes name on the line, but that third stipulation MJF laid out is too far. He can't bring himself to put his older brother out of the very business his father brought him into.

Dustin gets in Cody's face, giving the kind of tough love only an older brother can give. Dustin basically tears Cody a new one for even considering to think about forfeiting this opportunity and surrendering his name over to that snot nosed, Long Island scumbag. "Besides, why are you assuming you'd win?" And with that, Dustin slaps Cody clean across the face and walks off. 80% overall


Segment 10:

Main event of the evening sees AEW World Champion Kenny Omega face off against Rey Fenix of Death Triangle. To say the least, this was a far greater challenge than what Michael Nakazawa brought to the table last week. The two are no strangers to one another and had an excellent, high octane bout.

Kenny throws Fenix out of the ring and hams it up to the crowd before distracting referee Aubrey Edwards. At ringside, Rey Fenix is suddenly jumped by a "fan" in a Fenix mask. The fan throws Fenix back in the ring as Don Callis on commentary blasts AEW security for having no control. Fenix is easy prey as Omega hits a V-Trigger for the win. The "fan" breaks away from security and hugs Don Callis, unmasking of course as Karl Anderson.

Callis and Karl laugh it up as Omega decides to put Fenix up for a One Winged Angel for good measure. But before he can, Anderson takes a lariat to the back of the head from PAC and PAC runs in to save his bud. ****, 86% overall


Segment 11:

Kurt Angle cuts off Kenny's retreat to the back with another big announcement for Double or Nothing. We already knew Kenny would be defending his title against PAC - but Kenny won't be able to be up to his old tricks. PAC's been screwed twice now by cheating and interference, and to ensure that doesn't happen again and the two have enough time to settle the score once and for all - everyone will be banned from ringside as they do battle in a 30 minute Iron Man Match! 89% overall

82% overall show rating

[M-A-G]

Superstars: August 30, 2040

Opening Match: Alexander Piero, Kerry Cemenko, Kyle Jacobs vs. Orlando Kincaid, Quentin McDaniels, Xavier Cross
Shoot, why not build off of SummerSlam's matches and feuds and kick things off with something sweet like a 6-man? Of course with that mentality of me wanting to go all in, guns blazing, the game decides to go "LOL, dud show". Well, regardless Jacobs gets the honor here to pick the pin for his team by countering Kincaid's OK Corral in the Legacy Bomb for the win. *****, 84% overall.

Who should decide to join us next but the new Unified World Champion himself, Noah Carmichael! He's not looking too good all things considered. He talks about the nightmare that was Hell in a Cell at SummerSlam. With all of the violence and brutality that went down, he has to admit to a grave mistake in making a huge underestimation...namely he underestimated himself as to how much damage he was actually capable. He surprised himself. The only thing that was an even bigger surprise was someone like Salvatore Scabbia finding the stones to do what he did after the match. Of course, if someone is on a stretcher barely capable of staying conscious, how much stones does Scabbia even really have? He sure as hell let his woman talk a big game on Raw, what with throwing around challenges and what not. He doesn't know about a match but he's definitely down with kicking Scabbia's ass right here and right now!

Cue Lisa Benton to come out and try to diffuse things. She gets the degree of how upset Carmichael is but all this talk about championship matches and fights needs to be tabled for another time. For one thing, Scabbia isn't even here. Secondly, Carmichael looks in no shape for any kind of physical altercation, sanctioned or otherwise. The best thing for the champion to do right now is to go home, recuperate, and let her worry about the i's and t's regarding his next opponent.

Carmichael scoffs at this but agrees to take his leave. However, he gets in her face and tells her he doesn't envy her position but the one person who's going to need to be doing all of the worrying is Salvatore Scabbia.

Backstage, Luscious is with TOP LEGAL COUNSEL Galino & Farnes. They want to talk about the OUTRAGEOUS actions undertaken by Jordan Demiras and Martyn LaSalle on Raw. Nobody was informed as to whether or not Jordan Demiras would be present at the show which constitutes a clear case of false advertising and fraud! Demiras and LaSalle are lucky they haven't been drowned after swimming in deposition documents after such blatant statute violations! Demiras and LaSalle's business with Michael Hotbody is over and done and they need to be warned about the potential consequences of any further aggression on their behalf.

Second Match: Billie Padgett vs. Tania
This is hardcore rules and will end the feud between these two and hopefully they'll be better off with their respective teams. Padgett has the advantage here, obviously, but Tania shows she can hang as she's no slouch herself. It's enough to overcome the DUD factor, too. Tania picks up the duke after hitting a Nose Dive on Padgett through a table. *****, 89% overall.

Backstage, WWE Women's Champion Naomi is with Eclypse, having just watched the previous match. Naomi fears that Tania is going to want to use that outing as a springboard into a potential rematch against her for the title. Naomi tells Eclypse that threats will come in all forms from all directions when you're the champion. Eclypse counters that she already knows that seeing that she's a former Women's Champion herself. But Naomi is right about one thing: the two of them are one hell of a threat to the Women's Tag Team Titles. They just need to regroup and get back on the same page. Naomi tells Eclypse to hold her horses as she doesn't see that as a priority right now. Besides, Eclypse has to admit that she kind of dropped the ball at SummerSlam. With that, Naomi takes her leave as Eclypse appears insulted.

Third Match: Nigel Gallagher vs. Zachary Vale
Well poop on a stick. Having these guys try to follow the last match was pretty stupid as they take a beating in terms of heat. It's still good but they got seriously short-changed. Nigel picks up the win with the Union Smack. ****1/4, 72% overall.

Fourth Match: The Dillingers vs. The Wolves of Wall Street
Come on, Dillingers, help me recover from that last segment. Another awesome outing from them, thankfully, as they still have their eyes set on Galino & Farnes. Ben gets the win over London after hitting the Dillinger Escape Plan. *****, 85% overall.

Backstage, Vivian Merrick is with the Tag Team Champions who wants to mock all of the other tag teams stumbling over each other in a mad dash to become the team that might be the ones to dethrone the Future Foundation. Every team from the Dillingers to the Wyldhearts needs to understand they're simply in the wrong time.

Fifth Match: Shawn Dangerson vs. Brody Lee
We finally get Shawn back in action after some not-so-thinly-veiled hints at a challenge to the Cruiserweight Title from his manager. We don't get any kind of update on that front but we do get Shawn strutting his stuff and making more and more of a stronger case to be the frontrunner. He picks up the win after getting Lee to submit to the Danger Zone. Jason Sorola runs down to be a dick and beat up Dangerson afterwards. ****1/2, 83% overall. CURSE YOU DUD SHOW!!!

Sixth Match: WWE Women's Tag Team Champions The Lonely Girls vs. C4
Brooke, of course, accompanies her girls and makes the claim that she's sitting on a boatload of future champions. She reiterates her challenge to Noah Carmichael and demands that he watch this match as proof of her managing and coaching capabilities. Anyways, Faith and Jenna always give the finger to the DUD show and have themselves another good outing. Jenna looks to be in trouble as Faith is on the outside with Carmella and Brooke looks like she's going to give an assist to Cordelia. HOLD THE PHONE! Noah Carmichael makes his way out to give Brooke the stink eye. Brooke pauses herself to talk some trash back and that's all the opening Jenna needs to send Cordelia into Brooke and finish things off with the Kyle Driver for the pin. ****1/2, 82% overall.

MAIN EVENT: WWE Intercontinental Champion Seth Von Kamp vs. Zed Jones
Luscious informs us that Michael Hotbody will be returning tomorrow night on SmackDown! to help address everything that's going on right now. She wants him to know that we're all thinking of him and that we all anticipate him coming back. In the meantime, Zed wants to dedicate this match to him and Luscious wants this to be a warning as to what's in store for anyone thinking about sticking their noses in the business of Michael Hotbody! This is a decent enough main event, all things considered. Seth looks like he's got things well in hand but that pesky Brandon Reigns is still furious over losing the championship and decides to run down for the DQ. We go off the air with Reigns continuing to beat the piss out of the Intercontinental Champion. ****1/2, 82% overall.

Overall show rating: 82%

[M-A-G]

Originally Posted by Conspiracy Victim Vito After a raucous few nights in the bedroom with Allie and trying to avoid being murdered by The Butcher and The Blade, I'm back for another week. AEW Dark: May 18, 2021: -Dr. Britt Baker def. Leva Bates -"Absolute" Ricky Starks def. QT Marshall -Chuck Taylor def. Brian Pillman Jr. -The Dark Order (Colt Cabana, Alex Reynolds, and John Silver) def. Luther, Serpentico, and Peter Avalon -Shawn Spears def. Brandon Cutler -Darby Allin def. Angelico

Hmm...I think I might actually warm up to Allie if she got an attitude like that of just flipping off the camera...and for other reasons....

AEW Dynamite: May 19, 2021 Segment 1: We were scheduled to open with tag team action but instead, "Superbad" Kip Sabian and Penelope Ford hit the ring before the Dynamite intro could even finish and he immediately talked trash on Jon Moxley, accusing him of slashing his tires last week. He challenged Mox to a fight right there, right now. I think everybody knew Miro would be just waiting to pounce to beat on Mox with his best friend, but I don't think it came soon enough for Kip. I also don't think Kip was expecting Kurt Angle to send referee Mike Posey out to the ring to turn it into an impromptu match. Mox didn't even take his jacket off, flattening Kip with a few lariats and a Paradigm Shift in a quick win. As Penelope tends to her beau, out comes Miro finally. Miro marches down to the ring only to think better of it, wanting to save it for Double or Nothing in 10 days. ***, 78% overall

IMPROMPTU OPENING MATCHES REEK OF SPONTANEITY! There has to be a way to squeeze in more of the women in this, right....emphasis on 'squeeze'....

Segment 2: And from that, we move into our actual scheduled opener. Cody and Dustin are out first to a big hand from the crowd. Sammy Guevara and Jake Hager are out next accompanied by MJF and Wardlow. MJF addresses Cody on the mic on the way down, stating his second stipulation if he is to agree to face Cody at Double or Nothing. You might think he's going to make Cody put his career on the line against him, but he's not going to do that. He's going for something even more personal...he knows how hard Cody Rhodes fought to reclaim his name from some rich guy, well if Cody loses, he can sign those naming rights right back over to another one. Cody Rhodes will be dead forever and MJF will own him. This seemed to just stoke a fire for both of the Rhodes boys, as they started the match with a house of fire and took Guevara and Hager to the proverbial woodshed. They end up having themselves a good tag match. Cody and Sammy brawl in the ring not as the legal man, Sammy slips to the outside to take a breather with MJF and Wardlow only for Cody to hit a Moonsault to the outside on all of them. This distracts Hager long enough for Dustin to spin him around and hit him with the Final Reckoning! And it's over! The Rhodes brothers get the win and it's an enormous victory for Dustin as well, calling back to his loss against Hager way back at Revolution 2020. This seems to fire up Dustin who last week was questioning his future. An incensed MJF gets back on the mic. "Hey Cody, remember how I said I wasn't going to make you put your career on the line against me? I was telling the truth. Instead, you're going to have to win a match next week when the opponent is putting his career against you. You want me next at Double or Nothing? You have to win a career threatening match against...DUSTIN RHODES!!!" Mic drop. MJF is the biggest dickhead of all time. ***1/4, 83% overall

That's actually a terrific way of going about this and it would put so much heat on MJF. Question becomes does Dustin go out with a bang or does the DUD show pee on his parade?

Segment 3: The Dark Order are backstage hanging out in a big locker room. Adam Page, Evil Uno, and Stu Grayson are talking about their wins from last week as Silver and Reynolds play foosball and Colt enjoys some fancy massage chair. Eddie Kingston, The Butcher, and The Blade make a surprise appearance. Kingston and Page, two of the favorites for the Casino Battle Royale, get in each others face and a brawl between the groups is teased. I love a good stable war. 81% overall

What, Page couldn't spring for an actual masseuse?

[quote]Segment 4:

"Where is My Mind?" by the Pixies hits which means Orange Cassidy is on his way to the ring with Chuck Taylor for more tag team action against Powerhouse Hobbs and Ricky Starks of Team Taz. Another pretty solid tag match that sees OC's Double or Nothing opponent Brian Cage attempt to interject himself only for Orange to send Ricky Starks into him, crashing him off the apron. Superman Punch to Starks and the faces get the win.

The big hosses Cage and Hobbs get back into the ring for the 3 on 2 beatdown until Kris Statlander appears on the ramp and waves somebody out from the back. It's........Trent? We haven't seen him in months coming off of a torn pectoral muscle! Trent hits the ring and helps rid Taz's minions. The four Best Friends all look at each other and have a big group hug. ***, 77% overall

I'll take a hug from Kris... I imagine we'll be getting some trios out of this?

Segment 5: We have even MORE tag drama as we cut backstage to see FTR meeting Christopher Daniels and Frankie Kazarian in the hallway, Tully lays down the formal challenge for Double or Nothing, as FTR wants to get the revenge on SCU they deserve. It leads to all 4 men brawling which leads to officials having to intervene. It's fun having so many teams and stables to book, imagine having actual tag depth? 79% overall

What, you mean slapping two guys together for a couple of months and then splitting them up for whatever reason doesn't work?

Segment 6: Nyla Rose dipped out of her tag match last week but this week it was no such option as she was made to face Hikaru Shida and per orders of Kurt Angle, Nyla getting herself counted out would cause a forfeit. The two are no strangers to each other, with Shida hholding a 2020 triumph over Rose to win the AEW Women's Title. The two continued the streak of good matches on this week's Dynamite, gelling well together. Vickie Guerrero at one point undoes one of the middle turnbuckle pads and Rose sends the unsuspecting Shida into it with a drop toe hold. Shida is out cold and Rose grabs the cheap win. Vickie Guerrero laughs at the victory, but the face of elation turns to one of pure terror as Awesome Kong arrives at ringside and grabs Vickie by the hair, prompting her shrill scream. Kong doesn't hurt Vickie (yet) but does carve out a lock of her hair all as Rose looks on mortified. ***, 77% overall

Aww, I wanted Vickie to shit her pants. Maybe next time.... I also love how Rose didn't bother doing dick to stop Kong.

Segment 7: Young Bucks interview. Usual interview asking if they have any preferences on the #1 contenders match coming up (spoiler alert: they don't). Not much here, just had to get these over guys onto the show. 88% overall

Someone needs to answer that question one of these days with the Mulkeys.

Segment 8: #1 contenders tag match: Santana and Ortiz of Inner Circle vs. Uno and Grayson of Dark Order. Do we continue our streak? You god damn right we do. This is turning out to be one of the better Dynamites in terms of in-ring quality and the crowd reactions have steadily been getting better too. The heels turn to their weapon of choice (the madball/rock in a sock) in this one, Ortiz waffling Grayson with it when he was sent into the ropes. Santana, perhaps sending a direct message to the Bucks, follows up with a Superkick to finish it off. Santana and Ortiz earn the Double or Nothing title shot, as the announcers mention they're one of the few teams to have a victory over the Bucks in AEW. The Bucks stand up at the commentary table and face their new challengers. ***1/2, 82% overall

Bask in the stars when it happens. It's quality shows that are going to help you get to that next level past National, if you aren't there already.

Segment 9: The Rhodes Brothers are backstage. Cody is distraught. MJF's head games have reached a new low. He already agreed to put his Cody Rhodes name on the line, but that third stipulation MJF laid out is too far. He can't bring himself to put his older brother out of the very business his father brought him into. Dustin gets in Cody's face, giving the kind of tough love only an older brother can give. Dustin basically tears Cody a new one for even considering to think about forfeiting this opportunity and surrendering his name over to that snot nosed, Long Island scumbag. "Besides, why are you assuming you'd win?" And with that, Dustin slaps Cody clean across the face and walks off. 80% overall

^This. This is good shit. It's like the whole Batista/Michaels/Flair thing but with not quite as talented people involved. The dick in me would have Cody just mercilessly beat his brother but the generous side of me would just have Dustin be graceful about it and just lie down. We'll shall see...

Segment 10: Main event of the evening sees AEW World Champion Kenny Omega face off against Rey Fenix of Death Triangle. To say the least, this was a far greater challenge than what Michael Nakazawa brought to the table last week. The two are no strangers to one another and had an excellent, high octane bout. Kenny throws Fenix out of the ring and hams it up to the crowd before distracting referee Aubrey Edwards. At ringside, Rey Fenix is suddenly jumped by a "fan" in a Fenix mask. The fan throws Fenix back in the ring as Don Callis on commentary blasts AEW security for having no control. Fenix is easy prey as Omega hits a V-Trigger for the win. The "fan" breaks away from security and hugs Don Callis, unmasking of course as Karl Anderson. Callis and Karl laugh it up as Omega decides to put Fenix up for a One Winged Angel for good measure. But before he can, Anderson takes a lariat to the back of the head from PAC and PAC runs in to save his bud. ****, 86% overall

All Anderson was doing was showing his support for Fenix. He really wanted him to get the win so that's why he helped get him back into the ring....

Segment 11: Kurt Angle cuts off Kenny's retreat to the back with another big announcement for Double or Nothing. We already knew Kenny would be defending his title against PAC - but Kenny won't be able to be up to his old tricks. PAC's been screwed twice now by cheating and interference, and to ensure that doesn't happen again and the two have enough time to settle the score once and for all - everyone will be banned from ringside as they do battle in a 30 minute Iron Man Match! 89% overall 82% overall show rating

Iron Man Matches for the win!!! The next time I do one I'm going to have the heel demand that the match be a thirty-ONE minute match and when asked why he can answer because he likes to go one step extra.

[Evil Vito]

Originally Posted by M-A-G Superstars: August 30, 2040 Opening Match: Alexander Piero, Kerry Cemenko, Kyle Jacobs vs. Orlando Kincaid, Quentin McDaniels, Xavier Cross Shoot, why not build off of SummerSlam's matches and feuds and kick things off with something sweet like a 6-man? Of course with that mentality of me wanting to go all in, guns blazing, the game decides to go "LOL, dud show". Well, regardless Jacobs gets the honor here to pick the pin for his team by countering Kincaid's OK Corral in the Legacy Bomb for the win. *****, 84% overall.

The damn dud show strikes again. It's meant to only be a 1 in 25 chance but alas when all of your shows matter there's no hope of the dud show being "wasted" on the secondary/tertiary show.

Who should decide to join us next but the new Unified World Champion himself, Noah Carmichael! He's not looking too good all things considered. He talks about the nightmare that was Hell in a Cell at SummerSlam. With all of the violence and brutality that went down, he has to admit to a grave mistake in making a huge underestimation...namely he underestimated himself as to how much damage he was actually capable. He surprised himself. The only thing that was an even bigger surprise was someone like Salvatore Scabbia finding the stones to do what he did after the match. Of course, if someone is on a stretcher barely capable of staying conscious, how much stones does Scabbia even really have? He sure as hell let his woman talk a big game on Raw, what with throwing around challenges and what not. He doesn't know about a match but he's definitely down with kicking Scabbia's ass right here and right now! Cue Lisa Benton to come out and try to diffuse things. She gets the degree of how upset Carmichael is but all this talk about championship matches and fights needs to be tabled for another time. For one thing, Scabbia isn't even here. Secondly, Carmichael looks in no shape for any kind of physical altercation, sanctioned or otherwise. The best thing for the champion to do right now is to go home, recuperate, and let her worry about the i's and t's regarding his next opponent. Carmichael scoffs at this but agrees to take his leave. However, he gets in her face and tells her he doesn't envy her position but the one person who's going to need to be doing all of the worrying is Salvatore Scabbia.

I love when a babyface shows up clearly worse for wear but still wants to fight. It's a nice juxtaposition with heels who get injured and milk it for all it's worth.

Backstage, Luscious is with TOP LEGAL COUNSEL Galino & Farnes. They want to talk about the OUTRAGEOUS actions undertaken by Jordan Demiras and Martyn LaSalle on Raw. Nobody was informed as to whether or not Jordan Demiras would be present at the show which constitutes a clear case of false advertising and fraud! Demiras and LaSalle are lucky they haven't been drowned after swimming in deposition documents after such blatant statute violations! Demiras and LaSalle's business with Michael Hotbody is over and done and they need to be warned about the potential consequences of any further aggression on their behalf.

With G&F's brilliant guidance, Hotbody will soon be wearing Demiras and LaSalle's ring gear when he literally sues the pants off of them.

Second Match: Billie Padgett vs. Tania This is hardcore rules and will end the feud between these two and hopefully they'll be better off with their respective teams. Padgett has the advantage here, obviously, but Tania shows she can hang as she's no slouch herself. It's enough to overcome the DUD factor, too. Tania picks up the duke after hitting a Nose Dive on Padgett through a table. *****, 89% overall.

An 89% match rating on a dud show is pretty well unheard of, and speaks volumes to how over they are and how hot the feud was. May have very well flirted with 100% on a non-dud show.

Third Match: Nigel Gallagher vs. Zachary Vale Well poop on a stick. Having these guys try to follow the last match was pretty stupid as they take a beating in terms of heat. It's still good but they got seriously short-changed. Nigel picks up the win with the Union Smack. ****1/4, 72% overall.

With the pure talent involved I thought everyone on your roster would be immune from the "this match is a letdown compared to the last" programming logic.

Sixth Match: WWE Women's Tag Team Champions The Lonely Girls vs. C4 Brooke, of course, accompanies her girls and makes the claim that she's sitting on a boatload of future champions. She reiterates her challenge to Noah Carmichael and demands that he watch this match as proof of her managing and coaching capabilities. Anyways, Faith and Jenna always give the finger to the DUD show and have themselves another good outing. Jenna looks to be in trouble as Faith is on the outside with Carmella and Brooke looks like she's going to give an assist to Cordelia. HOLD THE PHONE! Noah Carmichael makes his way out to give Brooke the stink eye. Brooke pauses herself to talk some trash back and that's all the opening Jenna needs to send Cordelia into Brooke and finish things off with the Kyle Driver for the pin. ****1/2, 82% overall.

I love that finish, if it happens one time too many C4 could destroy Brooke for clearly having conflicting priorities.

I also appreciate managers having multiple clients and functioning as, well, actual sports agents.

Seth looks like he's got things well in hand but that pesky Brandon Reigns is still furious over losing the championship and decides to run down for the DQ. We go off the air with Reigns continuing to beat the piss out of the Intercontinental Champion. ****1/2, 82% overall.

Reigns just wants to get his baby back (baby back baby back baby back Chili's baby back ribs)

[Evil Vito]

I had a fairly enjoyable journey to another planet with Kris Statlander and now it's back for another week of programming.




AEW Dark: May 25, 2021:
-Karl Anderson def. Marko Stunt
-Jurassic Express def. Private Party
-Matt Sydal def. Peter Avalon
-FTR def. Alex Reynolds and John Silver
-Kris Statlander def. Allie
-Miro def. Joey Janela

It was another non-clicking Dark despite some solid in-ring work, but I breathe a sigh of relief in hopes that I'll be in the clear for Dynamite and Double or Nothing.

I also receive a notice that Jack Evans has suffered a Torn Calf and will be out for 9 months. Given that he just turned 39 and his main in-ring quality is speed......yeah, that doesn't bode well for him unfortunately.


AEW Dynamite: May 26, 2021

We have sort of a NJPW influenced Dynamite tonight in that we've got several big multi-man tags so as to avoid giving away too much, keeping people fresh, and not burning anybody out before the PPV.


Segment 1:

A trios match kicks us off as the surprising return of Trent? last week leads to the logical progression of Best Friends and Orange Cassidy facing off against Team Taz. Brian Cage and Powerhouse Hobbs as the two strongest men in the match make Trent?'s return a living hell in the early going before the face squad can get some momentum. Fun trios action, Orange does a tope suicida on the outside to Cage and Hobbs and lives to pay the price and the two big guys are focused on weakening him for Saturday, leaving Starks alone in the ring to take a Strong Zero from Best Friends as the faces get the win. ***, 77% overall


Segment 2:

Kenny Omega and Don Callis join us LIVE via satellite. The AEW World Champion and his challenger PAC were both ordered by Kurt Angle to stay home tonight to ensure they are in peak physical condition for their Iron Man match on Saturday, but there is undue speculation that Callis played a part in it. Either way PAC should consider himself lucky because Kenny totally would've waffled him with the gold like he has so many times in the past. 83% overall


Segment 3:

SCU's Scorpio Sky vs. Shawn Spears from Tully's crew. The match serves a dual purpose of adding to the build to the SCU vs. FTR tag match on Saturday and also gives both of these men a chance to build to their participation in the Casino Battle Royale. SCU's attempts to intervene are thwarted by Daniels and Kazarian which sets Sky up for a flash pin victory. **3/4, 74% overall


Segment 4:

We're backstage with Cody and Dustin ahead of their monumentally important match tonight. They are watching footage from AEW's very first show - Double or Nothing 2019, just two days shy of being exactly two years ago. On that show, Cody faced off against Dustin in a critically acclaimed war that saw them pull out the Dustiest match they could.

Dustin was sporting the crimson mask that night and fully prepared to retire after that match, but Cody offered to bring him along for the ride in AEW and he's never looked back. He has no regrets about the last two years he's spent in the company, and he's not ready to hang 'em up. He wants to keep his career going, but he also wants to see MJF get his ass kicked. He won't get everything he wants, but he does know that if he doesn't give Cody the fight of his life tonight, he'll be doing him a disservice. 82% overall


Segment 5:

In a preview of some of the chaos we could expect in the Casino Battle Royale - ten of the participants paired off in odd combinations as Darby Allin, Lance Archer, and Matt Sydal along with "Hangman" Adam Page and Colt Cabana of the Dark Order did battle against the Inner Circle's Jake Hager and Sammy Guevara plus Eddie Kingston, Karl Anderson, and "Big Money" Matt Hardy.

A lot of unique pairings in the ring but also previous rivalries being revisited as Darby charged at Sammy as soon as the bell rang, still with a score to settle after Sammy played a role in ending Sting's career. Meanwhile the self proclaimed toughest man in wrestling Eddie Kingston had no problems tagging out as soon as rival Lance Archer tagged in, leading to an Archer vs. Hager hoss fight instead. All the while, Matt Hardy made ill attempts to schmooze with all of his partners and convince them to leave their respective groups and sign with the Matt Hardy Brand instead.

As always, hell eventually breaks loose with bodies flying everywhere. Especially Darby's as he showed completely reckless abandon, performing a Coffin Drop onto most of the competitors. Eddie Kingston and Colt Cabana are the legal men, Eddie whipped into the corner and Colt attempts a Flying Asshole but it misses, Eddie backfists Colt into oblivion and the heels get the W. ***1/4, 81% overall


Segment 6:

After the bell, the brawl spills back into the ring with everyone throwing haymakers as Eddie slithers out of the ring. The toughest man in wrestling grabs a mic and while safely escaping through the crowd talks mad shit about everyone in the ring. 81% overall


Segment 7:

Awesome Kong gets her final tune-up ahead of Saturday's title defense, facing her former Nightmare Collective partner Mel. Mel is pretty much a total afterthought in real life AEW and actually hasn't wrestled since last year, all AEW talent were given the chance to opt out of pandemic tapings and she has yet to return. In this game though she has use as she's a solid brawler and gels well with Kong. Kong however dispatches of her with the Soul Collector and Nyla Rose jumps her after the bell with Vickie Guerrero barking orders. ***, 75% overall


Segment 8:

Miro and Jon Moxley were also ordered away from the building by Angle, if only to avoid them killing each other before the PPV. Miro has taken his night off to do a live reaction to Dynamite on his Twitch stream, we check in with him only for Moxley to find a way to tap into his Stream and deliver a scathing warning for what's to come on Saturday. Considering they're both over and charasmatic a "confrontation" angle between the two didn't go as well as I hoped. Guess the fans want to see them fight, not talk. 78% overall


Segment 9:

Our final multi-man tag match of the evening. With MJF forcing Cody to compete tonight, Angle wasn't going to let MJF have a full night off for himself. It's Inner Circle's MJF, Wardlow, and #1 contenders Santana and Ortiz vs. AEW Tag champion Young Bucks and Dark Order's Evil Uno and Stu Grayson who were cheated out of a win last week.

Another fun multi-man on a show full with them, nobody has to go too hard but everyone gets their shit in. Uno and Grayson handle Santana and Ortiz on the outside and MJF thinks better of intervening any further, leaivng his bodyguard Wardlow to take a pair of Superkicks from the Bucks for the face win. ***1/4, 81% overall


Segment 10:

Our final interview of the evening, also LIVE via satellite, sees PAC deliver his closing remarks to Kenny Omega. After all he's done to PAC over the past 3 months, Kenny should just consider himself lucky that he'll only have to be brutalized for 30 minutes. 87% overall


Segment 11:

Brother vs. Brother, Rhodes vs. Rhodes in our emotional main event with high stakes. In a matter befitting of Dusty, this would've been primarily an old school brawl with one or both men getting color and a nice bevy of false finishes. Sadly this didn't hold a candle to their real life encounter from two years ago but given Dustin's age and the amount his skills eroded after his birthday in-game, he still churned out a more than respectable performance in this final run including here and the crowd was into it (85%) which is not bad at all for a guy who at this stage is pretty low on the totem pole.

Cody kicks out of Final Reckoning, much to Dustin's shock. Dustin tries to see through the blood and pick him up to do another but Cody slides off and ends up behind him, Cross Rhodes. 1-2-3 and Cody wins while immediately sinking into Dustin's chest in sadness.

The two share an emotional embrace as the crowd applauds. Cody takes his leave allowing Dustin to soak up the adulation from the crowd as they chant "Thank you Dustin". In a nod to the old school wrestling traditions, Dustin takes off his boots and leaves them in the center of the ring. The Rhodes Brothers walk up the ramp together and hold each other's hands high. MJF and Wardlow jump them from behind to rob the emotional moment away and get nuclear heat. JR and Tony Schiavone say MJF can go to hell as we go off the air! ***, 82% overall


80% overall rating for Dynamite

[Evil Vito]

Double or Nothing Card:

AEW World Championship - 30 Minute Iron Man Match
"The Bastard" PAC vs. "The Cleaner" Kenny Omega (C)

AEW Women's World Championship
"The Native Beast" Nyla Rose vs. Awesome Kong (C)

AEW TNT Championship
"Freshly Squeezed" Orange Cassidy vs. "The Machine" Brian Cage (C)

AEW World Tag Team Championship
Santana and Ortiz vs. The Young Bucks (C)

If MJF wins, Cody surrenders the Rhodes name
Maxwell Jacob Friedman vs. "The American Nightmare" Cody Rhodes

Jon Moxley vs. Miro

SCU (Christopher Daniels and Frankie Kazarian) vs. FTR (Dax Harwood and Cash Wheeler)

21-Man Casino Battle Royale - winner receives AEW Title shot at All Out
Featuring Adam Page, Colt Cabana, Darby Allin, Eddie Kingston, Jake Hager, Karl Anderson, Lance Archer, Matt Hardy, Matt Sydal, Sammy Guevara, Scorpio Sky, Shawn Spears and more!

[M-A-G]

Originally Posted by Conspiracy Victim Vito I had a fairly enjoyable journey to another planet with Kris Statlander and now it's back for another week of programming.

Checking out Uranus, no doubt...

AEW Dark: May 25, 2021: -Karl Anderson def. Marko Stunt -Jurassic Express def. Private Party -Matt Sydal def. Peter Avalon -FTR def. Alex Reynolds and John Silver -Kris Statlander def. Allie -Miro def. Joey Janela It was another non-clicking Dark despite some solid in-ring work, but I breathe a sigh of relief in hopes that I'll be in the clear for Dynamite and Double or Nothing.

The dud show is always lurking, ready to strike and be an asshole about things and ruining your hard work.

I also receive a notice that Jack Evans has suffered a Torn Calf and will be out for 9 months. Given that he just turned 39 and his main in-ring quality is speed......yeah, that doesn't bode well for him unfortunately.

I should be thanking the gods that none of my top guys have suffered anything major in regards to injuries. Now I just jinxed it...

AEW Dynamite: May 26, 2021 We have sort of a NJPW influenced Dynamite tonight in that we've got several big multi-man tags so as to avoid giving away too much, keeping people fresh, and not burning anybody out before the PPV. Segment 1: A trios match kicks us off as the surprising return of Trent? last week leads to the logical progression of Best Friends and Orange Cassidy facing off against Team Taz. Brian Cage and Powerhouse Hobbs as the two strongest men in the match make Trent?'s return a living hell in the early going before the face squad can get some momentum. Fun trios action, Orange does a tope suicida on the outside to Cage and Hobbs and lives to pay the price and the two big guys are focused on weakening him for Saturday, leaving Starks alone in the ring to take a Strong Zero from Best Friends as the faces get the win. ***, 77% overall

So, wait, is Trent? is his actual name? Like, what does that even mean?

Segment 2: Kenny Omega and Don Callis join us LIVE via satellite. The AEW World Champion and his challenger PAC were both ordered by Kurt Angle to stay home tonight to ensure they are in peak physical condition for their Iron Man match on Saturday, but there is undue speculation that Callis played a part in it. Either way PAC should consider himself lucky because Kenny totally would've waffled him with the gold like he has so many times in the past. 83% overall

LOL, I love that heel trope of them acting tough when they're not in the same vicinity as their rival. It's shades of the old "I could do that...if I FELT like it" bit.

Segment 3: SCU's Scorpio Sky vs. Shawn Spears from Tully's crew. The match serves a dual purpose of adding to the build to the SCU vs. FTR tag match on Saturday and also gives both of these men a chance to build to their participation in the Casino Battle Royale. SCU's attempts to intervene are thwarted by Daniels and Kazarian which sets Sky up for a flash pin victory. **3/4, 74% overall

Wait, aren't Daniels and Kazarian SCU?

Segment 4: We're backstage with Cody and Dustin ahead of their monumentally important match tonight. They are watching footage from AEW's very first show - Double or Nothing 2019, just two days shy of being exactly two years ago. On that show, Cody faced off against Dustin in a critically acclaimed war that saw them pull out the Dustiest match they could. Dustin was sporting the crimson mask that night and fully prepared to retire after that match, but Cody offered to bring him along for the ride in AEW and he's never looked back. He has no regrets about the last two years he's spent in the company, and he's not ready to hang 'em up. He wants to keep his career going, but he also wants to see MJF get his ass kicked. He won't get everything he wants, but he does know that if he doesn't give Cody the fight of his life tonight, he'll be doing him a disservice. 82% overall

It's kind of weird that this is a promotion that's been around for two years and I've never seen a minute of it. Although I can absolutely picture the two of them doing a segment like this.

Segment 5: In a preview of some of the chaos we could expect in the Casino Battle Royale - ten of the participants paired off in odd combinations as Darby Allin, Lance Archer, and Matt Sydal along with "Hangman" Adam Page and Colt Cabana of the Dark Order did battle against the Inner Circle's Jake Hager and Sammy Guevara plus Eddie Kingston, Karl Anderson, and "Big Money" Matt Hardy. A lot of unique pairings in the ring but also previous rivalries being revisited as Darby charged at Sammy as soon as the bell rang, still with a score to settle after Sammy played a role in ending Sting's career. Meanwhile the self proclaimed toughest man in wrestling Eddie Kingston had no problems tagging out as soon as rival Lance Archer tagged in, leading to an Archer vs. Hager hoss fight instead. All the while, Matt Hardy made ill attempts to schmooze with all of his partners and convince them to leave their respective groups and sign with the Matt Hardy Brand instead. As always, hell eventually breaks loose with bodies flying everywhere. Especially Darby's as he showed completely reckless abandon, performing a Coffin Drop onto most of the competitors. Eddie Kingston and Colt Cabana are the legal men, Eddie whipped into the corner and Colt attempts a Flying Asshole but it misses, Eddie backfists Colt into oblivion and the heels get the W. ***1/4, 81% overall

Kingston and Hardy are the MVPs of this match with their awesome douchenessity. It doesn't appear Page brought out anything absurdly expensive this time around so I'll imagine that he brought custom Dark Order merchandise for the rest of his partners to wear.

Segment 6: After the bell, the brawl spills back into the ring with everyone throwing haymakers as Eddie slithers out of the ring. The toughest man in wrestling grabs a mic and while safely escaping through the crowd talks mad shit about everyone in the ring. 81% overall

Well, obviously he has to do it from that location. Clearly he would have just been bumping into people if he'd stayed in the ring....

Segment 7: Awesome Kong gets her final tune-up ahead of Saturday's title defense, facing her former Nightmare Collective partner Mel. Mel is pretty much a total afterthought in real life AEW and actually hasn't wrestled since last year, all AEW talent were given the chance to opt out of pandemic tapings and she has yet to return. In this game though she has use as she's a solid brawler and gels well with Kong. Kong however dispatches of her with the Soul Collector and Nyla Rose jumps her after the bell with Vickie Guerrero barking orders. ***, 75% overall

I'd have to imagine that right now, more than any other time, is a shit time to be in the professional wrestling business if you're looking for a steady stream of reliable income and the pandemic would have just aggravated that. I wonder how some of these guys and gals are making out.

Segment 8: Miro and Jon Moxley were also ordered away from the building by Angle, if only to avoid them killing each other before the PPV. Miro has taken his night off to do a live reaction to Dynamite on his Twitch stream, we check in with him only for Moxley to find a way to tap into his Stream and deliver a scathing warning for what's to come on Saturday. Considering they're both over and charasmatic a "confrontation" angle between the two didn't go as well as I hoped. Guess the fans want to see them fight, not talk. 78% overall

Oh, I fucking HATE that shit when you've got two guys who you think would draw a good rating because of their stats but the game just decides it doesn't give a fuck. I swear to Ash I've lost count as to how many segments I've done that have been in the shitter despite all participants being at 85 or over in terms of charisma. I've found that it affects people who don't have the Superstar Look stat checked more than those who do. I'm also amused at the idea of someone who looks like Miro/Rusev doing a Twitch stream and playing something like Shantae or Little Big Planet.

Segment 9: Our final multi-man tag match of the evening. With MJF forcing Cody to compete tonight, Angle wasn't going to let MJF have a full night off for himself. It's Inner Circle's MJF, Wardlow, and #1 contenders Santana and Ortiz vs. AEW Tag champion Young Bucks and Dark Order's Evil Uno and Stu Grayson who were cheated out of a win last week. Another fun multi-man on a show full with them, nobody has to go too hard but everyone gets their shit in. Uno and Grayson handle Santana and Ortiz on the outside and MJF thinks better of intervening any further, leaivng his bodyguard Wardlow to take a pair of Superkicks from the Bucks for the face win. ***1/4, 81% overall

MJF just had a cramp and had to walk to off. Those things can be crippling if you don't take of it right away....

Segment 10: Our final interview of the evening, also LIVE via satellite, sees PAC deliver his closing remarks to Kenny Omega. After all he's done to PAC over the past 3 months, Kenny should just consider himself lucky that he'll only have to be brutalized for 30 minutes. 87% overall

SWERVE! Angle makes it a 60-minute Iron Man Match at the 11th hour!

Segment 11: Brother vs. Brother, Rhodes vs. Rhodes in our emotional main event with high stakes. In a matter befitting of Dusty, this would've been primarily an old school brawl with one or both men getting color and a nice bevy of false finishes. Sadly this didn't hold a candle to their real life encounter from two years ago but given Dustin's age and the amount his skills eroded after his birthday in-game, he still churned out a more than respectable performance in this final run including here and the crowd was into it (85%) which is not bad at all for a guy who at this stage is pretty low on the totem pole. Cody kicks out of Final Reckoning, much to Dustin's shock. Dustin tries to see through the blood and pick him up to do another but Cody slides off and ends up behind him, Cross Rhodes. 1-2-3 and Cody wins while immediately sinking into Dustin's chest in sadness. The two share an emotional embrace as the crowd applauds. Cody takes his leave allowing Dustin to soak up the adulation from the crowd as they chant "Thank you Dustin". In a nod to the old school wrestling traditions, Dustin takes off his boots and leaves them in the center of the ring. The Rhodes Brothers walk up the ramp together and hold each other's hands high. MJF and Wardlow jump them from behind to rob the emotional moment away and get nuclear heat. JR and Tony Schiavone say MJF can go to hell as we go off the air! ***, 82% overall

SCHIAVONE WITH THE BASH AT THE BEACH '96 REFERENCE!!! I absolutely would have done the same thing with the heels. I guess Wardlow was very understanding of MJF's cramp situation.

Really though this demonstrates the double-edged sword with guys who are clearly past their prime still going on and wanting to go out on one final big glorious bang. Yes, it makes for a great moment on paper but in practice, not so much. Flair vs. HBK at WM 24 and Austin vs. Rock at WM 19 or any of Terry Funk's 233 retirement matches are examples of this. Although, if it's good enough for the participants who am I to judge?

[Evil Vito]

Originally Posted by M-A-G Checking out Uranus, no doubt...

Yeah that's definitely the one. Can a planet be described as "juicy"? Because, well, yeah [/quote]

I should be thanking the gods that none of my top guys have suffered anything major in regards to injuries. Now I just jinxed it...

Yeah I've been fortunate that I've only lost Dark regulars so far. Evans has worked his way up to like a 76 overall which is pretty great considering he started in the low 60s, he's been working mostly on Dark but churning out great performances with tag partner Angelico which has allowed both of them to steadily climb in overness, EWR usually will let guys build into like the 80s overness on match quality alone before you have to then actually push them in an angle.

That said this injury is a big setback for him, without the game in front of me right now I don't remember how devastating it was but I think his speed is now in the low 70s and that was his best stat. I don't cut people during injury but he might not have a practical spot to return to if Angelico keeps climbing in his stead.

So, wait, is Trent? is his actual name? Like, what does that even mean?

Yep indeed.



I don't know the actual backstory. I know he worked under a differently spelled version of his WWE name (Trent Beretta) as well but I think that was too close to actually put on American TV. Given the Best Friends being portrayed as a bunch of slackers I totally could see him being asked for his name and being like "uhh...I dunno...Trent?" and it stuck.

Side story. At one point last year, Santana and Ortiz were feuding with Best Friends and one of the heels worked the angle online by going at Trent's actual mom Sue on Twitter. They eventually have a parking lot brawl which the Best Friends win. Sue herself then drives up to the parking lot in her soccer mom SUV and and the Best Friends (including a bloody Trent) simply get in and they drive off as if they were just getting picked up from practice. That visual cracked me up.

LOL, I love that heel trope of them acting tough when they're not in the same vicinity as their rival. It's shades of the old "I could do that...if I FELT like it" bit.

Yeah I love that stuff. I generally don't have the creative wherewithal to actually script out full promos like I saw people doing in their EWR diaries back on EW Battleground, but if I can just capture the tone and gist of what is being said that's good enough for me.

Wait, aren't Daniels and Kazarian SCU?

Oops, yeah I meant to say FTR. Too many abbreviations here. Also I don't proofread

Kingston and Hardy are the MVPs of this match with their awesome douchenessity. It doesn't appear Page brought out anything absurdly expensive this time around so I'll imagine that he brought custom Dark Order merchandise for the rest of his partners to wear.

"And the official Dark Order underwear too..."

I'd have to imagine that right now, more than any other time, is a shit time to be in the professional wrestling business if you're looking for a steady stream of reliable income and the pandemic would have just aggravated that. I wonder how some of these guys and gals are making out.

AEW, to their credit, pays its contracted wrestlers as employees including benefits etc and they paid out workers during the pandemic who either didn't feel comfortable participating or couldn't travel.

In the very early days of the pandemic they spent a weekend filming 5 or 6 weeks of Dynamite in Cody Rhodes and QT Marshall's wrestling school in Georgia. People like Mox, Hangman Page, Matt Hardy etc chose not to participate and all of the talent based out of New York (MJF, Santana and Ortiz, Statlander etc) and California (Young Bucks, SCU, Jungle Boy etc) had no way to fly with those states shutting down flights. They taped enough matches with a skeleton crew and supplemented it with promos sent in by the wrestlers stuck at home. Several of the extras who worked those tapings made the most of it and ended up getting signed.

I believe NJPW, ROH, and a bunch of others paid everyone their per show wages as well even when there were no shows happening at all. WWE was the only place that did wholesale cuts. I imagine indy wrestlers had a tough go of it and many turned to Twitch and other streaming ventures to try to keep their "brand" afloat.

Oh, I fucking HATE that shit when you've got two guys who you think would draw a good rating because of their stats but the game just decides it doesn't give a fuck. I swear to Ash I've lost count as to how many segments I've done that have been in the shitter despite all participants being at 85 or over in terms of charisma. I've found that it affects people who don't have the Superstar Look stat checked more than those who do. I'm also amused at the idea of someone who looks like Miro/Rusev doing a Twitch stream and playing something like Shantae or Little Big Planet.

Hmm...I forgot all about the Superstar Look box but that could absolutely play a part in it. I know you get dinged if you try to book a non-intimidating wrestler in an angle where having a killer is required, and that the Fonz Factor automatically adds points to segments, but didn't know the extent to which Superstar Look impacted things.

Really though this demonstrates the double-edged sword with guys who are clearly past their prime still going on and wanting to go out on one final big glorious bang. Yes, it makes for a great moment on paper but in practice, not so much. Flair vs. HBK at WM 24 and Austin vs. Rock at WM 19 or any of Terry Funk's 233 retirement matches are examples of this. Although, if it's good enough for the participants who am I to judge?

Dustin's said that he really was going into DON 2019 expecting it to be his swan song. Cody straight after the match got on the mic and cut an emotional promo asking Dustin to be his tag partner at the next PPV and it was a shoot, Dustin didn't know he was gonna be offered another match or a spot in the company. So they hugged it out and it made for a really cool organic moment.

Given he helps as a trainer and is still a capable hand helping out the young guys I think he'll be sticking around for a decent while, not sure he's the type that would want a sendoff let alone another Cody match when they'd have a near impossible task topping the first. But given I had to act quickly in the game I felt it made sense.

[Evil Vito]

Oh yeah, I forgot what my image rating is offhand but I started the game as a National promotion which is why I'm able to sign written deals. The industry is currently booming (if only) and has for most of the game. A new cult promotion (NYCW) formed and is quickly rising, AAA got to national level as well some time ago. WWE is probably at the tippy top of the rating scale by this point even though they cut a million people and thir 90 day non-competes I honor as one of my house rules have now elapsed if I choose to sign anyone they discarded. Not like I have a big PPV coming up to debut someone.......

I'm in the upper 90s I think, and there would seem to be a good chance I get to global level if I churn out a good PPV.

[M-A-G]

SmackDown!: August 31, 2040

Final show of the month! Things have gone well enough to where I'm not regretting moving over to 4.2. I'm sure that will change when some other random thing decides to take Jenna and/or Faith from me for whatever fucking reason. Let's try to finish the month of August on a high note!

We open with the FIRST EVER WWE Women's Tag Team Champions, The Lonely Girls. Seeing as we're in Faith's home country of Canada she is of course over as fuck. Faith takes the time to get a sweeping shot of the crowd on the Runner Cam as part of this, presumably, celebration. Jenna is tolerated as Faith vouches for her even though the last time they were both in Canada she got booed mercilessly. Faith says that it's a whole new set of circumstances between her and Jenna and that it should be taken as a sign that things, no matter how hard you may fight against it, are subject to change. It's inevitable and there's no need to look any further than what the two of them are holding in their possession as proof of that. Jenna talks about what a historical night it was at SummerSlam. Things have been so hectic this last week that she and Faith haven't really had the time to soak it all in and actually enjoy the fruits of their labors. Well, they're taking the night off as it's a Friday and Faith told Jenna that Toronto has got some of the hottest spots on the town when it comes to Canada. Tonight will be a night for revelry and maybe some drunken karaoke. But they haven't forgotten their responsibilities. They know that there is an ocean full of sharks ready to strike and try to stake their claim to this new championship. The Lonely Girls will be waiting and ready. Faith puts an exclamation point on this spiel by pointing out that if her and Jenna fought like hell to win the belts, you can be damn sure they'll fight twice as hard to keep them. Until then, Toronto, let's have ourselves a hell of a time! The segment ends with Jenna and Faith playing to the crowd and making their exit through the arena while interacting with the people.

Backstage, we're joined by the lovely Luscious and her man, The Luscious Lover and Undefeated Steel Cage Master and REAL 2040 King of the Ring, The Supreme Submission Machine, Former WWE Cruiserweight Champion-Elect, the Cruiserweight Champion Michael Hotbody and Zed Jones! Hotbody wants to talk about those two criminals, Jordan Demiras and Martyn LaSalle, making a mess of things on Raw. Nobody invited Jordan Demiras back unless Martyn LaSalle wants to fess up to it. And if he did invite Demiras back, there needs to be SERIOUS INQUIRIES into what sort of hijinx they're up to! Hotbody isn't a lying fraud. Hotbody actually announces when he'll be showing up because he wants the fans to know when to tune in to see him. He's not about deception and flirting with legal woes unlike those two delinquents. There is an 8-man main event tonight but Hotbody wants to make it clear that LaSalle and Demiras have no further business with him as they've both been conquered and vanquished. They should consider this their only warning as after tonight Hotbody wants nothing to do with them anymore!

First Match: Shawn Dangerson vs. Romeo Valiente
Sophie Waters joins the commentary team to talk about the challenge she laid out to Luscious in regards to the Cruiserweight Title. Hotbody has bigger problems on his hands than just Demiras and LaSalle is Shawn Dangerson manages to get a title shot. This is a hell of an opener as Valiente is a great veteran and knows what to do to put a guy over. Dangerson continues his path of destruction with another tap out win via the Danger Zone. *****. 94% overall.

Second Match: WWE Women's Champion Naomi Bailey and Eclypse vs. The Jersey Experience
The heels don't look like they're quite on the same page. Naomi talks about how upset she is over what happened at SummerSlam. History was ripped from her and there needs to be consequences for that! She rips Jenna and Faith for using tonight as an excuse to party while she's stuck here with Eclypse. They had better find the time to watch her tonight and what she does, though, because they'll be getting the same. Anyways, the match unfolds with Eclypse more often than not looking like she's not thrilled with what Naomi said. It boils down to Frankie and Naomi as things break down. Frankie tries a running charge but Naomi 'accidentally' pulls Eclypse into the path and the champion capitalizes by hitting Frankie with the Bail Out to score the pin. Eclypse continues to look upset. ****1/2, 93%

Backstage, Lisa Benton wants to give an update on the condition of the Unified World Champion Noah Carmichael. She still hasn't received any word from Carmichael's doctors as to whether or not he's cleared to compete so once again, unfortunately, he's not here tonight. She is waiting with baited breath to get that green light so that she can move forward with setting him up with a challenger at Unforgiven. Brooke interrupts things and declares that the person that Benton is considering making Carmichael's challenger had better be Salvatore Scabbia. Nobody on the roster right now has the record of Scabbia! Nobody has Carmichael's number like Scabbia! What exactly is Benton afraid of? Trying to protect Carmichael is pointless because after Scabbia gets done with him, he's going to be back in the same spot that he is now: broken, busted up, and hopeless. Benton tells Brooke to cool her jets because her ambition might come back to bite her in the ass. Benton knows how eager Brooke is to have a Unified World Champion as a client but maybe she should brush up on her coaching and managing skills. How about her boys The Academy take on The Wyldhearts tonight?

Third Match: Quentin McDaniels vs. El Silencio
Not much here other than giving McDaniels a strong outing, hampered by Silencio's low charisma. They get through fine enough as McDaniels scores a clean pin after the Great Depression. ****1/2, 91% overall.

In-Ring Super Special Talky Time with the NEW Intercontinental Champion Seth Von Kamp. Much like the Women's Tag Team Champions earlier tonight, Seth claims that he's yet to really grasp what it meant to capture the championship at SummerSlam. Nine long years of busting his ass in this company, not counting the years of training and scraping by to even get noticed by this company, and now he stands here with his first singles title. The first and he certainly hopes not the last as there's always that bigger fish out there. He doesn't know when Noah Carmichael will be back in action and he certainly doesn't know who will be the one to challenge him for the Unified World Title but should the opportunity arise, Seth Von Kamp knows that the impossible can happen and he'll gladly take that championship, too. There's just one little hitch and that's the pain in the ass known as Brandon Reigns. Reigns certainly hasn't been taking SummerSlam very well, has he? First he accuses Seth of not being worthy of a shot at the Intercontinental Title, then he accuses Seth of not living up to a champion's responsibilities, and then he just flat out goes nuts and decides to get physical last night on Superstars. It doesn't take a brain surgeon to figure out where Brandon's head is at right now and what it is he wants so Seth will make it very easy for him. Seth stands here, daring Brandon Reigns to give it another go because Seth is ready to be responsible: responsible for making Reigns look like a pansy ass bitch!

Cue Brandon Reigns who's got his hands full of piss and vinegar...and the Money in the Bank briefcase. He tries to run down and take a swing with it but Seth ducks and it flies loose. Seth sets up for the Collapse of Society but Reigns escapes and bails. Seth gets a hold of the briefcase and taunts Reigns with it. Reigns is furious and demands its return so Seth just chucks it into the crowd! Someone got themselves a souvenir! Reigns continues his tantrum on the outside as we go to break.

Fourth Match: Ozzy Mandias vs. Lyle Morris
I've let Ozzy slip through the cracks so I figure get him back on TV as he delivers the cruiserweight goods. Perhaps he can be the one to unseat Hotbody? A question for another time as Lyle Morris gives him more than enough of a challenge here. Ozzy connects with the Blizzard of Oz to pick up the win. ****1/2, 93% overall.

Fifth Match: The Wyldhearts vs. The Academy
Brooke once again plays her part as manager as she's in the corner of the Academy. Brooke talks about how there is discussion that she's left some of her other clients out in the rain but she counters that the Academy are proof positive that she's got what it takes to bring people to their fullest potential and become champions. Noah Carmichael isn't here to ruin things for her like he did last night so everyone should just shut and watch how she handles things! This is an evenly contested bout as The Wyldhearts are still looking for those Tag Team Titles and want to look good here. Speaking of which, the champions themselves make their way out to take a gander at things. Brooke gets caught up in a verbal scuffle with Madison on the outside as the Wyldhearts start to gain some momentum. Sadly, The Future Foundation decide to be dicks here and run in for the DQ attack on the Wyldhearts. The Academy don't look too thrilled with both the Future Foundation and Brooke. *****, 94% overall.

Sixth Match: King Kavovit vs. Gavin Jones
Kavovit demands that Michael Haywood be sent to the back in THE INTEREST OF FAIRNESS! Moses McKay sadly can't be here because of the Play Pals' deviousness so it's only right that Jones doesn't have any back up either. Haywood does, indeed, go to the back as Jones assures him that things are OK here. It's another hot match tonight as the feud between these teams is still awesome despite one guy being suspended...er, injured.... Anyways, Kavovit takes advantage of the fact that there's no one in the corner of Jones as he goes for the FOREIGN OBJECT OF EXTREME HUMILIATION and nails Jones to score the cheap win. *****, 99% overall. When I end this feud it's going to be fire.

MAIN EVENT: The Dillingers, Jordan Demiras, and Martyn LaSalle vs. The Luscious Lover and Undefeated Steel Cage Master and REAL 2040 King of the Ring, The Supreme Submission Machine, Former WWE Cruiserweight Champion-Elect, the Cruiserweight Champion Michael Hotbody, Zed Jones, and Galino & Farnes
The heels come out in a conga line with Zed leading the way but him not actually dancing and still doing his silent straight man bit. Hotbody brags about the size of his on-screen name display and that there's no one on the opposing team that can even come close to all of those achievements! Hotbody-Mania continues to run wild and there is no one that can stop it! He's got the muscle! He's got the hotness! He's got the brains! And that's not even including his team! He makes out with Luscious until the faces get sick of the whole thing and start the match by attacking the heels. It's a crazy affair as you'd expect as Jordan Demiras looks to shake some of the ring rust off. Ultimately, it's down to Joey Dillinger and Hotbody and Luscious decides to get revenge for her make out session being interrupted and uses the same spray she used on Martyn LaSalle weeks ago. Hotbody capitalizes with the Hot Ticket to pick up the win for his team. His team quickly gets him out of there before anyone else can try to get them some. ****1/2, 91% overall.

Overall show rating: 91%

[M-A-G]

End of the Month stuff:

Birthdays!!! The following birthdays occured this month: Nathan Quinn (42), Clayton North (28), Mika (22), Isaac Wolff (31), Kerry Cemenko (37), Riott (42), Ozzy Mandias (24), Frankie (26), Xavier Cross (35). Some other people also celebrated but they're developmental/training guys so I'd rather not reveal them just yet.

It's apparently great that we're making money every month! I should hope so. Jenna loves being spoiled.

Got a lot of people whose contracts are coming up, including Riott. I really don't know about keeping her. I don't plan on having her compete and managing seems not on brand for her. I will, however, absolutely re-sign all the others, especially Seth Von Kamp.

Moses McKay and Ziggy Styles are back from suspension. Hopefully, they learned their lesson. Ziggy should job in his first match as extra punishment.

Big Thunder in NXT doesn't want to stay there. His stats aren't completely God awful and he's charismatic so he might have a point.

Other than that, business as usual as we march towards Unforgiven.

[Evil Vito]

Originally Posted by M-A-G SmackDown!: August 31, 2040 Final show of the month! Things have gone well enough to where I'm not regretting moving over to 4.2. I'm sure that will change when some other random thing decides to take Jenna and/or Faith from me for whatever fucking reason. Let's try to finish the month of August on a high note! We open with the FIRST EVER WWE Women's Tag Team Champions, The Lonely Girls. Seeing as we're in Faith's home country of Canada she is of course over as fuck. Faith takes the time to get a sweeping shot of the crowd on the Runner Cam as part of this, presumably, celebration. Jenna is tolerated as Faith vouches for her even though the last time they were both in Canada she got booed mercilessly. Faith says that it's a whole new set of circumstances between her and Jenna and that it should be taken as a sign that things, no matter how hard you may fight against it, are subject to change. It's inevitable and there's no need to look any further than what the two of them are holding in their possession as proof of that. Jenna talks about what a historical night it was at SummerSlam. Things have been so hectic this last week that she and Faith haven't really had the time to soak it all in and actually enjoy the fruits of their labors. Well, they're taking the night off as it's a Friday and Faith told Jenna that Toronto has got some of the hottest spots on the town when it comes to Canada. Tonight will be a night for revelry and maybe some drunken karaoke. But they haven't forgotten their responsibilities. They know that there is an ocean full of sharks ready to strike and try to stake their claim to this new championship. The Lonely Girls will be waiting and ready. Faith puts an exclamation point on this spiel by pointing out that if her and Jenna fought like hell to win the belts, you can be damn sure they'll fight twice as hard to keep them. Until then, Toronto, let's have ourselves a hell of a time! The segment ends with Jenna and Faith playing to the crowd and making their exit through the arena while interacting with the people.

The Lonely Girls - celebrating amongst a sea of people and well wishers. I love me an ironic name!

I also like to imagine they worked the post-show dark match...just for you, Toronto!

Backstage, we're joined by the lovely Luscious and her man, The Luscious Lover and Undefeated Steel Cage Master and REAL 2040 King of the Ring, The Supreme Submission Machine, Former WWE Cruiserweight Champion-Elect, the Cruiserweight Champion Michael Hotbody and Zed Jones! Hotbody wants to talk about those two criminals, Jordan Demiras and Martyn LaSalle, making a mess of things on Raw. Nobody invited Jordan Demiras back unless Martyn LaSalle wants to fess up to it. And if he did invite Demiras back, there needs to be SERIOUS INQUIRIES into what sort of hijinx they're up to! Hotbody isn't a lying fraud. Hotbody actually announces when he'll be showing up because he wants the fans to know when to tune in to see him. He's not about deception and flirting with legal woes unlike those two delinquents. There is an 8-man main event tonight but Hotbody wants to make it clear that LaSalle and Demiras have no further business with him as they've both been conquered and vanquished. They should consider this their only warning as after tonight Hotbody wants nothing to do with them anymore!

Galino & Farnes' finisher definitely needs to be changed to SERIOUS INQUIRIES, complete with all caps.

First Match: Shawn Dangerson vs. Romeo Valiente Sophie Waters joins the commentary team to talk about the challenge she laid out to Luscious in regards to the Cruiserweight Title. Hotbody has bigger problems on his hands than just Demiras and LaSalle is Shawn Dangerson manages to get a title shot. This is a hell of an opener as Valiente is a great veteran and knows what to do to put a guy over. Dangerson continues his path of destruction with another tap out win via the Danger Zone. *****. 94% overall.

Hella deep cruiserweight division - could dedicate an entire episode of Superstars to a Cruiserweight Open style gauntlet of some kind, except of course nobody could be in more than three matches in a row.

Second Match: WWE Women's Champion Naomi Bailey and Eclypse vs. The Jersey Experience The heels don't look like they're quite on the same page. Naomi talks about how upset she is over what happened at SummerSlam. History was ripped from her and there needs to be consequences for that! She rips Jenna and Faith for using tonight as an excuse to party while she's stuck here with Eclypse. They had better find the time to watch her tonight and what she does, though, because they'll be getting the same. Anyways, the match unfolds with Eclypse more often than not looking like she's not thrilled with what Naomi said. It boils down to Frankie and Naomi as things break down. Frankie tries a running charge but Naomi 'accidentally' pulls Eclypse into the path and the champion capitalizes by hitting Frankie with the Bail Out to score the pin. Eclypse continues to look upset. ****1/2, 93%

Oh come on Eclypse, take one for the team! It's all about the greater good.

Third Match: Quentin McDaniels vs. El Silencio Not much here other than giving McDaniels a strong outing, hampered by Silencio's low charisma. They get through fine enough as McDaniels scores a clean pin after the Great Depression. ****1/2, 91% overall.

****1/2, 91% overall, "they got through fine enough" I do wonder the extent to which charisma plays a role in match ratings, I always thought that it mostly impacted interviews and segments whereas matches were based on overness and ring work.

Cue Brandon Reigns who's got his hands full of piss and vinegar...and the Money in the Bank briefcase. He tries to run down and take a swing with it but Seth ducks and it flies loose. Seth sets up for the Collapse of Society but Reigns escapes and bails. Seth gets a hold of the briefcase and taunts Reigns with it. Reigns is furious and demands its return so Seth just chucks it into the crowd! Someone got themselves a souvenir! Reigns continues his tantrum on the outside as we go to break.

Eww, hope he sanitized his hands thoroughly. Love the idea of the MITB briefcase being chucked into the crowd. Be a funny way to debut somebody actually, a plant in the audience catches the briefcase and attempts to finagle their way onto the active roster because they claim they are owed a title match now.

Fourth Match: Ozzy Mandias vs. Lyle Morris I've let Ozzy slip through the cracks so I figure get him back on TV as he delivers the cruiserweight goods. Perhaps he can be the one to unseat Hotbody? A question for another time as Lyle Morris gives him more than enough of a challenge here. Ozzy connects with the Blizzard of Oz to pick up the win. ****1/2, 93% overall.

Hotbody has a line of wrestlers five miles long waiting to wrestle that title away from him, if he ever does lose the title he should just create his own and act like he never lost it.

Sixth Match: King Kavovit vs. Gavin Jones Kavovit demands that Michael Haywood be sent to the back in THE INTEREST OF FAIRNESS! Moses McKay sadly can't be here because of the Play Pals' deviousness so it's only right that Jones doesn't have any back up either. Haywood does, indeed, go to the back as Jones assures him that things are OK here. It's another hot match tonight as the feud between these teams is still awesome despite one guy being suspended...er, injured.... Anyways, Kavovit takes advantage of the fact that there's no one in the corner of Jones as he goes for the FOREIGN OBJECT OF EXTREME HUMILIATION and nails Jones to score the cheap win. *****, 99% overall. When I end this feud it's going to be fire.

Christ I hope it's not a non-clicky show when you end the feud, just need that one final percentage point for the full monty!

MAIN EVENT: The Dillingers, Jordan Demiras, and Martyn LaSalle vs. The Luscious Lover and Undefeated Steel Cage Master and REAL 2040 King of the Ring, The Supreme Submission Machine, Former WWE Cruiserweight Champion-Elect, the Cruiserweight Champion Michael Hotbody, Zed Jones, and Galino & Farnes The heels come out in a conga line with Zed leading the way but him not actually dancing and still doing his silent straight man bit. Hotbody brags about the size of his on-screen name display and that there's no one on the opposing team that can even come close to all of those achievements! Hotbody-Mania continues to run wild and there is no one that can stop it! He's got the muscle! He's got the hotness! He's got the brains! And that's not even including his team! He makes out with Luscious until the faces get sick of the whole thing and start the match by attacking the heels. It's a crazy affair as you'd expect as Jordan Demiras looks to shake some of the ring rust off. Ultimately, it's down to Joey Dillinger and Hotbody and Luscious decides to get revenge for her make out session being interrupted and uses the same spray she used on Martyn LaSalle weeks ago. Hotbody capitalizes with the Hot Ticket to pick up the win for his team. His team quickly gets him out of there before anyone else can try to get them some. ****1/2, 91% overall.

More goodness here.....straight faced Zed leading the conga line Luscious had a valid beef for having her makeout session interrupted, would've been hilarious had Hotbody just tagged out and made it effectively a 3 on 4 handicap match as he makes out with Luscious until it's time to tag in and steal a win.

[Evil Vito]

Originally Posted by M-A-G It's apparently great that we're making money every month! I should hope so. Jenna loves being spoiled.

Sooner or later she'll wind a diamond ring the size of the Big Gold Belt.

Got a lot of people whose contracts are coming up, including Riott. I really don't know about keeping her. I don't plan on having her compete and managing seems not on brand for her. I will, however, absolutely re-sign all the others, especially Seth Von Kamp.

It's always tough to decide what to do with legends. Not everybody is suited to managing or functioning in a non-wrestling capacity, at the same time it's tough to stomach the idea of them signing with another promotion. I feel like in my WWE games I'd always keep the legends on open contracts or whatever, I'd never use them but it mimics the way WWE sign their wrestlers to "legends deals" and effectively have them on retainer.

Moses McKay and Ziggy Styles are back from suspension. Hopefully, they learned their lesson. Ziggy should job in his first match as extra punishment.

I still can't help but picture him as the weird looking offspring of Dolph Ziggler and AJ Styles, probably a very punchable face that could stand to do a job.[/QUOTE]

[M-A-G]

The Lonely Girls - celebrating amongst a sea of people and well wishers. I love me an ironic name! I also like to imagine they worked the post-show dark match...just for you, Toronto!

Getting to mingle with the two of them and take pictures and just generally be blessed to even be in their presence should be good enough. Besides, are you going to say 'no' if they ask for the night off?

Galino & Farnes' finisher definitely needs to be changed to SERIOUS INQUIRIES, complete with all caps.

It is a much funnier name than just the Cross Examination.

Hella deep cruiserweight division - could dedicate an entire episode of Superstars to a Cruiserweight Open style gauntlet of some kind, except of course nobody could be in more than three matches in a row.

That actually is the plan to determine a number one contender. I also want to do one for the tag team titles. Could you imagine buying a ticket to a show and basically getting like an hour's worth of cruiserweight action>

Oh come on Eclypse, take one for the team! It's all about the greater good.

THE GREATER GOOD! It should be pretty obvious where I'm going with these two. First things first; A SummerSlam rematch???

I do wonder the extent to which charisma plays a role in match ratings, I always thought that it mostly impacted interviews and segments whereas matches were based on overness and ring work.

Low charisma tends to drag the crowd reaction rating down which usually knocks a quarter star off depending on the circumstances. They can still pull an awesome match out of their asses but it's best to stick them in there with someone who can offset the lack of charisma.

Eww, hope he sanitized his hands thoroughly. Love the idea of the MITB briefcase being chucked into the crowd. Be a funny way to debut somebody actually, a plant in the audience catches the briefcase and attempts to finagle their way onto the active roster because they claim they are owed a title match now.

I absolutely need to do that. Ugh, but who to pick? And do I immediately do them versus Reigns or stick with the rematch against Seth? Decisions, decisions....

Hotbody has a line of wrestlers five miles long waiting to wrestle that title away from him, if he ever does lose the title he should just create his own and act like he never lost it.

I imagine he's going to have an extremely severe method of coping. Like, Adam Sandler in "The Wedding Singer" but amplified beyond reason.

Christ I hope it's not a non-clicky show when you end the feud, just need that one final percentage point for the full monty!

See, now you jinxed it.

More goodness here.....straight faced Zed leading the conga line Luscious had a valid beef for having her makeout session interrupted, would've been hilarious had Hotbody just tagged out and made it effectively a 3 on 4 handicap match as he makes out with Luscious until it's time to tag in and steal a win.

God damn it, why didn't I think of that? I'm absolutely using that for the next time I do a tag match involving them. It's like "Make out with Luscious" or "Get smacked around by people who you've repeatedly screwed over and pissed off"? It's a cost-benefit analysis that should be a no-brainer. If these were real people in a real promotion I like to imagine Zed just quietly thinking to himself that he doesn't get paid enough for this shit.

Sooner or later she'll wind a diamond ring the size of the Big Gold Belt.

Fuck, just give her the Big Gold Belt.

It's always tough to decide what to do with legends. Not everybody is suited to managing or functioning in a non-wrestling capacity, at the same time it's tough to stomach the idea of them signing with another promotion. I feel like in my WWE games I'd always keep the legends on open contracts or whatever, I'd never use them but it mimics the way WWE sign their wrestlers to "legends deals" and effectively have them on retainer.

Looking at the birthdays struck me with the realization that Riott is the same age as Nathan Quinn. I suppose it wouldn't hurt to keep her around for special occasions. Damn sentimental favorites.

[Evil Vito]

Writing this in two posts due to character limit because one of my favorite past times was fantasy booking the Royal Rumble, both for real life booking and EWR games. I’m doing the same thing with the Casino Battle Royale because it’s the same basic concept and I can just visualize how the match will play out.



AEW Double or Nothing
Saturday, May 29, 2021
MGM Grand Garden Arena

THE BUY IN
6-Pack Challenge: Hikaru Shida vs. Kris Statlander vs. Serena Deeb vs. Dr. Britt Baker vs. vs. Allie vs. Penelope Ford

Some bonus women’s action kicks us off on the night as 6 women look to potentially move up the rankings and position themselves as the next challenger to the AEW Women’s Champion. Doubtless all eyes will be on what happens in the Awesome Kong vs. Nyla Rose melee tonight.

The very concept of the 6 pack challenge allows all the ladies to get their own showcase, everyone hits their key spots but nobody can really begin to think about getting a pin with so many people around to stop the pin.

The match eventually breaks down into chaos and fun as per usual with the multi-person matches. Kris Statlander gets Allie alone in the ring as the legal participants, sets her up into position near the corner. Kris climbs up to the top rope and doesn’t see Britt Baker sneak onto the apron and tag Kris’ boot. Kris hits the 451 Splash on Allie, but Baker immediately sneaks in from behind and throws her out of the ring before stealing the pin for herself! Brilliant move from the doctor.

Winner: Dr. Britt Baker
**3/4, 70% overall

---

The main PPV kicks off with a recap of some of the highlights from the last two years of Double or Nothing as AEW moves into year 3 of existence. We get all sorts of pyro and ballyhoo.

Meanwhile, the ladies from the 6-pack challenge advise me that there’s a problem with the showers in the women’s locker room. I mean, I have a show to run and they probably could have just gone to facilities, but this seems super important and something that requires my direct attention. So I pass the reigns over to Sophie and head on my way.


FTR (Dax Harwood and Cash Wheeler) w/ Tully Blanchard vs. SCU (Christopher Daniels and Frankie Kazarian)

SCU opened Double or Nothing two years ago and that’s no exception tonight. As SCU do their pre-match promo, FTR hop into the ring and jump them early, specifically targeting Kazarian who gets taken out at the knee as they remove the knee brace he’s wearing and start stomping away at it.

The ref offers SCU the chance to bail on the match but no chance they’re doing that, but Daniels has to pretty much go it alone at first. No easy task for any man, let alone trying to pull it off against a well oiled machine like FTR. But thankfully Daniels knows how to work in any situation and sell his ass off, he may not wrestle much any more but he’s aged like a fine wine.

Daniels gets some hope spots in even though he’s largely playing Ricky Morton. A hobbled Kazarian finally makes his way up to the apron just in time for the hot tag. Kazarian leaps into the ring over the top rope, and throws off his knee brace. Maybe it’s adrenaline but it seems his knee is looking fine right about now! FTR hit the bricks in shock. Kazarian dares them to come back in. Daniels eventually gets his bearings and stands side by side with his partner…..WAVE OF THE FUTURE ON DANIELS! WHAT?

FTR and Tully laugh their asses off at ringside as Kazarian pulls Daniels to the corner, tags himself back out of the match and FTR pop in to give the helpless Daniels a Big Rig of his own for the easy win.

The third member of SCU Scorpio Sky runs out and asks Frankie what the hell he is doing, but shortly after he’s blindsided by a chair shot from Shawn Spears. Spears lays multiple stiff chair shots into Sky and a few into Daniels for good measure. They Pillmanize Sky’s ankle with the chair as well. Spears, FTR, Tully, and Kazarian have a group hug. This is sickening! WHY FRANKIE WHY???

Winners: FTR
****1/2, 91% overall


----

Casino Battle Royale

Justin Roberts reminds everyone of the rules: the 21 men have drawn from a deck of cards. A suit will be chosen and the 5 men that drew that suit will start the match. Every 3 minutes, another suit is drawn and another group will enter the match. Whoever drew the Joker card will be the 21st and final man to enter the match. Elimination occurs when a wrestler is thrown over the top rope and both feet touch the floor. The last wrestler standing will receive an AEW World Championship match at All Out in August.

And with that, the deck is shuffled and the Diamonds are the first group. Rey Fenix makes the first entrance to a big pop, followed by Matt Sydal who gets a good hand as well. Angelico is in next as something of a wild card entrant with his partner Jack Evans now on the shelf. The Inner Circle theme hits and out come Jake Hager and Wardlow to round out the group, with the announcers of course mentioning there's an advantage to the stablemates being in the match at the same time.

The pair naturally work together as the match kicks off, as the two of them ward off the three speedsters in the ring with him. Fenix and Sydal are able to evade elimination but poor Angelico gets the short straw as the first man eliminated by the Inner Circle duo as they pair off against the smaller guys.

Three minutes comes and goes and now we've got the Hearts next. Eddie Kingston walks out first to heat but thinks better of getting into the ring straight away. Billy Gunn is next as an unexpected entrant, but apparently the 57-year old didn't get the memo that the Inner Circle don't like old fucks. They stop what they're doing and immediately just heave Billy out before the next guy in the group's music even hits. Luchasaurus rumbles his way in to a nice pop. Karl Anderson is out next to boos. And finally "The Bad Boy" Joey Janela is out with a trash can, he goes right for Kingston at ringside, apparently taking exception to his ongoing claims of being the toughest man in wrestling.

Kingston and Janela have a mini hardcore brawl in the corner of the ring as Inner Circle get their shots in wherever. Anderson manages to sneak an elimination of Sydal.

The Spades are the third group and the crowd gets on their feet immediately as the Dark Order theme hits and "Hangman" Adam Page and Colt Cabana enter the ring together. Kingston manages to finally dispose of Janela after having a mini hardcore brawl with him since he entered, but he has no time to gloat as Lance Archer charges in next to get him some of his rival. Shawn Spears is out next to boos, still brandishing his chair from earlier. He seems to be daring the next man to enter only to laugh it off. As it turns out, the final man in this interval was meant to be Scorpio Sky and the announcers explain he was forced to withdraw after the brutal beating he received from Spears in the last match.

Main highlight from this interval is Archer throwing around everyone that moves, especially Kingston. The Inner Circle team up to toss Luchasaurus out. Rey Fenix nearly eliminates Eddie Kingston but Butcher and Blade rush the ring to keep him in. Fenix hits a tope through the ropes onto them and it ends up being a 3 on 1 beatdown on him on the outside as the clock ticks down to the last group, the Clubs...

The Lucha Brothers music hits and OH SHIT - Penta El Cero Miedo is back from injury as a surprise entrant! Penta launches himself off the steps at the Family as he and Fenix brawl with the three on the outside. Jungle Boy enters and slaps hands with his eliminated partner Luchasaurus on the way in. "Big Money" Matt Hardy is out, also not coming alone as Private Party to accompany him as they strategize in the corner of the ringside area. Sammy Guevara cockily struts out next to get the Inner Circle at full strength, and Darby Allin doesn't even wait for his music to hit before skating up behind him and getting an early jump on him.

Seeing Sammy jumped, Hager and Wardlow leave the ring through the ropes to go beat down Darby. The Family and Lucha Brothers continue to throw down. Dark Order leave the ring to have another scrap with the Hardy Party. Inside the ring, Jungle Boy's stint only lasts a couple of minutes as Spears and Anderson form a temporary alliance to throw him out. The big guy Lance Archer then takes both heels out only for Eddie Kingston to sneak back into the ring and dump Archer out himself. Kingston eliminates the man who took him out of last year's Casino Battle Royale!

Kingston celebrates alone in the ring as if he's won, despite there still being three separate brawls going on with groups outside the ring, including his henchmen continuing to brawl with the Lucha Brothers. The toughest man in wrestling continues to celebrate as the countdown is on to the #21 entrant.....

SPOILER: show

The crowd loses their absolute shit as MINORU FUCKING SUZUKI makes his way out! We’ve heard the rumors that AEW was looking to work with New Japan Pro Wrestling, well the forbidden door sure seems like it’s been open.

Kingston looks beside himself as the self-proclaimed toughest man in wrestling now has one of the scariest motherfuckers in the business marching down to the ring. The crowd scream the “KAZE NI NARE” chorus to Suzuki’s theme as he steps in and stares a bullet in Kingston. The two have a stare down and the brawling around the ring stops as everyone is transfixed by what is happening in the ring.

Kingston punches Suzuki but the pain doesn’t register with him as he counters with an open hand slap across Eddie’s face followed by spinning him around and locking him right into a Rear Naked Choke as the crowd goes ballistic. Suzuki picks up Kingston’s dead weight and chucks him out of the match! Butcher and Blade hop onto the apron to avenge their friend but ultimately think better of it when Suzuki stares them down.

Matt Hardy forces Private Party into the ring despite them not being in the match and Suzuki just smacks them around like a couple of young boys, laughing like a sadistic bastard all the way. Matt himself tries to sneak up on Suzuki but only gets a snapmare followed by a Penalty Kick straight to the chest. The crowd is still in a frenzy, Suzuki picks Matt Hardy up...can he hit it…..GOTCH STYLE PILEDRIVER! And Matt is thrown out.

Anyway that was a major markout moment for the fans, but all good things must come to an end as all three Inner Circle members jump Suzuki. I mean hey, they hate old guys, but Suzuki is a lot scarier than most so it’s gotta be all hands on deck. Still, three against one Suzuki is out to huge heat.

The Lucha Bros, Dark Order, and Darby all realize their only hope of any of them winning is breaking down the Inner Circle, so we end up with a 5 on 3 situation. Sammy and Darby resume their fight while Hager and Wardlow end up in 2 on 1 situations. Lucha Bros take out Hager, Dark Order take out Wardlow. Sammy reverses Darby and sends him flying out, but Darby still has a score to settle so he pulls Sammy out under the ropes, positions him onto the apron and delivers a brutal Coffin Drop to him.

Tornado tag action in the ring now, Lucha Bros vs. Dark Order. Ends up lasting for several minutes with a lot of elimination tease spots. Eventually Penta shelves Colt. Hangman lifts out Fenix. Penta charges at Hangman but he ducks and pulls down the ropes, HANGMAN WINS!!!

But wait, Sammy was never eliminated, he sneaks in from behind and throws out Hangman EXCEPT HE DOESN’T! Sammy doesn’t realize Hangman held onto the apron. BUCKSHOT LARIAT! Sammy does a full flip on the sell job and Page throws him out. HANGMAN WINS FOR REAL NOW!!!

Crowd goes nuts as a jubilant Hangman celebrates with the finest booze money can buy, he’s going to All Out!

Winner: Hangman Adam Page
75% overall rating
Not a great overall rating since the overness was some of the participants was down......but I give this 6 stars, fuck you Scott Keith!

[Evil Vito]

I only caught the tail end of that last match but it sounded pretty epic, I only just got back from attending to the shower situation. I mean it took quite a while to get things going but eventually I got it working but the ladies wanted me to stay and make sure it didn’t break down again so I had to kinda hang there for a while. I guess it was just the excessive steam but I’m tired. Like, really really tired like I just went through a marathon. Strange. In totally unrelated verbiage I think I definitely blew my creative load on that last write up so I might be a little more to the point the rest of the way.

Anyway the ladies strolled in with a bunch of snacks and booze as a token of gratitude so I suppose I can just chill and have an impromptu viewing party the rest of the way. Good timing too as we’re heading to our Women’s Championship match!


AEW Women’s World Championship
Nyla Rose w/ Vickie Guerrero vs. Awesome Kong (C)

What is the female equivalent of a hoss fight? Does such a thing exist? Because that’s totally what this is as these two just beat the piss out of each other in a really sweet brawl. Relatively even bout throughout with Kong having what appeared to be her roughest challenge to date, she has yet to face anyone in AEW that can muscle out of her offense quite like the impressive Nyla Rose.

Several near falls in both directions and the referee takes an accidental corner bump. Vickie grabs the title and climbs the apron, screaming at Rose to use the belt to hit Kong. Vickie tosses the belt into the ring and Kong intercepts it. Rather than hit Rose with it, she gets her up for a Soul Collector onto the title as Kong retains.


After the match, Kong actually helps Rose up and they seem to nod in acknowledgment of the war they had. As Nyla leaves the ring, Vickie berates her and slaps her for losing. This makes Nyla snap, she grabs Vickie by the hair, walks her over to the announcers and HOLY SHIT Vickie takes a powerbomb through the announce table! Now that’s a write-off, excuse me indeed.

Meanwhile Kong continues to celebrate as the announcers wonder who could possibly stop Kong. Almost on queue, the lights go out and when they are back on, we see somebody on the ramp…..

SPOILER: show

BAH GAWD KANA HAS ARRIVED IN AEW!!!!

Winner and STILL AEW Women's World Champion: Awesome Kong
***1/4, 78% overall

---

Three matches in, three surprises. Did I just debut two Japanese wrestlers in consecutive segments? You betcha! The ladies especially popped for Kana, and they’re super appreciative that I’m investing more financial resources into building a must-see women’s division.

TNT Championship
“Freshly Squeezed” Orange Cassidy w/ Best Friends vs. “The Machine” Brian Cage (C) w/ Team Taz

Physically these two could not look more different. OC looks like a stringbean wearing sunglasses and Brian Cage looks like he’s done enough steroids to make Scott Steiner blush. And yet the beauty of wrestling is that they found a way to make it work well enough. OC tried to play mind games at the start by appearing to take Cage lightly only to take him off guard with a bunch of flash pins that nearly worked. Cage tried to outmuscle him and OC used his speed advantage to evade some of the offense.

Outside the ring the Best Friends and Team Taz tried to keep each other at bay and avoiding interference anytime one of the participants ended up outside the ring, but as is usually the case they did end up brawling outside eventually. As the ref was distracted by this, Cage grabs both the TNT and FTW titles and clangs them together on OC’s skull. Drill Claw and that’s all she wrote, The Machine retains.

Winner and STILL TNT Champion: "The Machine" Brian Cage
***, 83% overall

---

Jon Moxley vs. Miro

These two have been wanting to tear at each other for weeks and now they finally get their chance. Both men started like a house of file before the battle turned surprisingly more technical as both men have been known to use choke holds, but neither could get it fully locked in on one another.

Although this wasn’t a No DQ match, the bad blood between these two caused referee Bryce Remsburg to use his own discretion to basically allow them to do anything short of felonious assault, and that includes not making a 10 count during prolonged periods brawling on the floor and even among the fans.

Eventually the melee made its way to the rampway, Miro locking in Game Over on Mox and Mox slamming his fist to the ground in pain, but it can’t count as a tap up on the ramp. Mox summons some reserve energy sources and surprisingly muscles Miro up on his back...he leaps back and the two go crashing through the stage! Shades of Taz and Bam Bam Bigelow in ECW. The “holy shit” chants get up in full force as Mox is able to pull himself from the wreckage. Remsburg has seen enough and rules the match in favor of Mox by way of knock out.

Winner: Jon Moxley
****1/4, 89% overall

---

AEW World Tag Team Championship
Santana and Ortiz vs. The Young Bucks (Matt and Nick Jackson) (C)

Announcers bring up the history between these two teams – the Bucks successfully defended their titles against them a few months ago however Santana and Ortiz hold a PPV victory over the Bucks from Full Gear in November 2019.

I’m not really sure what to even say about this match because I’ve booked these two teams in this game before and, well, just like in real life it’s always quality. These two teams gel beautifully and the Bucks seem to work well against anyone they face ever.

In a night full of surprises, we see another one here as Nick Jackson is sent flying out of the ring, leaving Matt to fall prey to the Street Sweeper. 3 seconds later and we have NEW tag team champions! The surprise isn’t that Santana and Ortiz won…..but they won it clean? The Inner Circle won something clean????

The Bucks seem taken aback by all of this, but are willing to acknowledge the better men on this night. They extend their hands to the new champs but the heels blow them off.

Winners and NEW AEW Tag Team Champions: Santana and Ortiz
****1/2, 94% overall

---

This show has ruled so much ass so far, and so has the viewing party. As the ladies feed me shrimp the size of car batteries down my throat, we all settle in for the next match.


Match for the Right to the Rhodes Name
Maxwell Jacob Friedman w/ Wardlow vs. Cody Rhodes w/ Dustin Rhodes

Wardlow despite having a long run in the Casino Battle Royale is back out there as MJF’s right hand man. Though Dustin was forced into retirement from the ring three days ago, Cody wanted his brother by his side one last time to even the score.

I imagine the ring work for this one to be very old school NWAish of nature, which is fitting given that the match is for the Rhodes name. MJF just being an insufferable prick the whole time, being the Flair to Cody’s Dusty. Cody avoids defeat a few times, and a few hopes spots in there but MJF always manages to wrangle his way to the ropes and at one point Wardlow himself gets his foot under the ropes.

Naturally, this gives rise to the expected fun-but-overbooked schmozz on the outside of the ring. Dustin starts taking it to Wardlow and from there we have a heaping helping of interference spot chaos outside the ring. Sammy Guevara and Jake Hager are out to get on Dustin but Darby Allin skates his way out, wanting to get himself even more of Sammy after they fought in the Battle Royale earlier.

Darby and Sammy brawl backstage, as do Hager and Dustin. Wardlow gets back to his feet only for STING to emerge from the crowd! STING??? WHAT? MJF and Wardlow can’t believe it. Sting points his bat at Wardlow…..only to then drop it and hit Wardlow with….a spinning elbow? The crowd instantly pops at that because that wasn’t any spinning elbow, that was the Judas Effect! Sting pulls off the mask and it’s CHRIS JERICHO!!!

MJF looks like he’s seen a ghost….and while he has his eye off the ball, Cody grabs him from behind and gets him into position. Cross Rhodes! Cody wins! Cody avenges his family and the legends that MJF has tormented, and perhaps the bigger story is Chris Jericho is back and ready to make his former faction pay for putting him on the shelf.

Winner: Cody Rhodes
****1/4, 94% overall

---

30-Minute Iron Man Match for the AEW World Championship
“The Bastard” PAC vs. “The Cleaner” Kenny Omega (C) w/ Don Callis

Again even though it’s the main event I’m not really sure what else I can say about these two, they pulled out a 5 star match a month into their feud in a straight up singles match, I can only imagine what it’s gonna be like 3 months later in their blowoff match.

Basically these two gel perfectly and everybody knows it. Even though Kenny and Callis try to cheat at times, they have to be super careful with it because a DQ could absolutely spell doom for the champion. This becomes true as we chug right on past the 20 minute mark with no falls to be found.

Poisonrana attempt on Kenny is blocked. Kenny gets to his feet, V-Trigger to the back of PAC’s head. Picks him up for the One Winged Angel and hits it. 1...2...3! Kenny is up 1-0 with about 5 minutes to go.

Kenny has 5 minutes to run out the clock but there’s not a lot he can do. Although it is a 30 minute match, Kurt Angle made it very clear from the onset that a tie will mean sudden death. So Kenny can’t risk DQ or simply running around outside the ring getting counted out. He has to try to evade PAC in the ring and PAC is now tapping into energy reserves he didn’t know he had.

3 minutes left, PAC hits multiple release Germans on Kenny. Sets him up in the corner, goes up top. BLACK ARROW! 1….2….Kenny barely, and I mean barely gets his foot on the rope, pure muscle memory at this point.

Only about a minute left, PAC drags Kenny to the center of the ring and locks in the Brutalizer. Kenny screams in agony. Callis is screaming at him to not tap. Kenny teases tapping but his hand eventually goes limp. He’s passed out from the pain! Aubrey Edwards checks his arm to make sure it’ll fall. 1...2...DING DING DING DING! The time has elapsed! Kenny made it!

Kenny may not look like a winner right now, but rest assured he has won! Besides, Don Callis already paid for the celebration so here comes explosions with balloons and confetti falling down in the ring on Kenny’s dead corpse, all as PAC sits on in stunned disbelief that came so close yet so far from winning the big one.

Winner and STILL AEW World Champion: "The Cleaner" Kenny Omega
****1/4, 92% overall

89% overall show rating

---

Hell of a show. The fans loved it, Scott Keith loved it, my viewing party loved it. And after the show, it was announced that I have indeed moved into global status. I prefer to be humble about it but the ladies felt otherwise as they conspired to hoist me triumphantly upon their shoulders and parade me through the halls of the MGM Casino. Perhaps a little excessive but hey who am I to judge how they wish to show appreciation?

Moving on up.

[M-A-G]

Originally Posted by Conspiracy Victim Vito AEW Double or Nothing Saturday, May 29, 2021 MGM Grand Garden Arena

Where's my tremendous shot of Ivelisse's glorious posterior? :cry:

THE BUY IN 6-Pack Challenge: Hikaru Shida vs. Kris Statlander vs. Serena Deeb vs. Dr. Britt Baker vs. vs. Allie vs. Penelope Ford Some bonus women’s action kicks us off on the night as 6 women look to potentially move up the rankings and position themselves as the next challenger to the AEW Women’s Champion. Doubtless all eyes will be on what happens in the Awesome Kong vs. Nyla Rose melee tonight. The very concept of the 6 pack challenge allows all the ladies to get their own showcase, everyone hits their key spots but nobody can really begin to think about getting a pin with so many people around to stop the pin. The match eventually breaks down into chaos and fun as per usual with the multi-person matches. Kris Statlander gets Allie alone in the ring as the legal participants, sets her up into position near the corner. Kris climbs up to the top rope and doesn’t see Britt Baker sneak onto the apron and tag Kris’ boot. Kris hits the 451 Splash on Allie, but Baker immediately sneaks in from behind and throws her out of the ring before stealing the pin for herself! Brilliant move from the doctor. Winner: Dr. Britt Baker **3/4, 70% overall

Well, the doctor winning can kind of make up for the lack of Ivelisse's wonderous gluteus maximus. Also, did they do an update or something to the game where you can do a match like this?

The main PPV kicks off with a recap of some of the highlights from the last two years of Double or Nothing as AEW moves into year 3 of existence. We get all sorts of pyro and ballyhoo. Meanwhile, the ladies from the 6-pack challenge advise me that there’s a problem with the showers in the women’s locker room. I mean, I have a show to run and they probably could have just gone to facilities, but this seems super important and something that requires my direct attention. So I pass the reigns over to Sophie and head on my way.

You can't leave something of that magnitude to some schlub who works by the hour. You send in a professional...and various pieces of video recording equipment....

FTR (Dax Harwood and Cash Wheeler) w/ Tully Blanchard vs. SCU (Christopher Daniels and Frankie Kazarian) SCU opened Double or Nothing two years ago and that’s no exception tonight. As SCU do their pre-match promo, FTR hop into the ring and jump them early, specifically targeting Kazarian who gets taken out at the knee as they remove the knee brace he’s wearing and start stomping away at it. The ref offers SCU the chance to bail on the match but no chance they’re doing that, but Daniels has to pretty much go it alone at first. No easy task for any man, let alone trying to pull it off against a well oiled machine like FTR. But thankfully Daniels knows how to work in any situation and sell his ass off, he may not wrestle much any more but he’s aged like a fine wine. Daniels gets some hope spots in even though he’s largely playing Ricky Morton. A hobbled Kazarian finally makes his way up to the apron just in time for the hot tag. Kazarian leaps into the ring over the top rope, and throws off his knee brace. Maybe it’s adrenaline but it seems his knee is looking fine right about now! FTR hit the bricks in shock. Kazarian dares them to come back in. Daniels eventually gets his bearings and stands side by side with his partner…..WAVE OF THE FUTURE ON DANIELS! WHAT? FTR and Tully laugh their asses off at ringside as Kazarian pulls Daniels to the corner, tags himself back out of the match and FTR pop in to give the helpless Daniels a Big Rig of his own for the easy win. The third member of SCU Scorpio Sky runs out and asks Frankie what the hell he is doing, but shortly after he’s blindsided by a chair shot from Shawn Spears. Spears lays multiple stiff chair shots into Sky and a few into Daniels for good measure. They Pillmanize Sky’s ankle with the chair as well. Spears, FTR, Tully, and Kazarian have a group hug. This is sickening! WHY FRANKIE WHY??? Winners: FTR ****1/2, 91% overall

I figured as much that was going to happen. Kazarian vs. Daniels ought to be a hell of a swan song for The Fallen Angel. Does he still use that name?

Casino Battle Royale Justin Roberts reminds everyone of the rules: the 21 men have drawn from a deck of cards. A suit will be chosen and the 5 men that drew that suit will start the match. Every 3 minutes, another suit is drawn and another group will enter the match. Whoever drew the Joker card will be the 21st and final man to enter the match. Elimination occurs when a wrestler is thrown over the top rope and both feet touch the floor. The last wrestler standing will receive an AEW World Championship match at All Out in August. And with that, the deck is shuffled and the Diamonds are the first group. Rey Fenix makes the first entrance to a big pop, followed by Matt Sydal who gets a good hand as well. Angelico is in next as something of a wild card entrant with his partner Jack Evans now on the shelf. The Inner Circle theme hits and out come Jake Hager and Wardlow to round out the group, with the announcers of course mentioning there's an advantage to the stablemates being in the match at the same time. The pair naturally work together as the match kicks off, as the two of them ward off the three speedsters in the ring with him. Fenix and Sydal are able to evade elimination but poor Angelico gets the short straw as the first man eliminated by the Inner Circle duo as they pair off against the smaller guys. Three minutes comes and goes and now we've got the Hearts next. Eddie Kingston walks out first to heat but thinks better of getting into the ring straight away. Billy Gunn is next as an unexpected entrant, but apparently the 57-year old didn't get the memo that the Inner Circle don't like old fucks. They stop what they're doing and immediately just heave Billy out before the next guy in the group's music even hits. Luchasaurus rumbles his way in to a nice pop. Karl Anderson is out next to boos. And finally "The Bad Boy" Joey Janela is out with a trash can, he goes right for Kingston at ringside, apparently taking exception to his ongoing claims of being the toughest man in wrestling. Kingston and Janela have a mini hardcore brawl in the corner of the ring as Inner Circle get their shots in wherever. Anderson manages to sneak an elimination of Sydal. The Spades are the third group and the crowd gets on their feet immediately as the Dark Order theme hits and "Hangman" Adam Page and Colt Cabana enter the ring together. Kingston manages to finally dispose of Janela after having a mini hardcore brawl with him since he entered, but he has no time to gloat as Lance Archer charges in next to get him some of his rival. Shawn Spears is out next to boos, still brandishing his chair from earlier. He seems to be daring the next man to enter only to laugh it off. As it turns out, the final man in this interval was meant to be Scorpio Sky and the announcers explain he was forced to withdraw after the brutal beating he received from Spears in the last match. Main highlight from this interval is Archer throwing around everyone that moves, especially Kingston. The Inner Circle team up to toss Luchasaurus out. Rey Fenix nearly eliminates Eddie Kingston but Butcher and Blade rush the ring to keep him in. Fenix hits a tope through the ropes onto them and it ends up being a 3 on 1 beatdown on him on the outside as the clock ticks down to the last group, the Clubs... The Lucha Brothers music hits and OH SHIT - Penta El Cero Miedo is back from injury as a surprise entrant! Penta launches himself off the steps at the Family as he and Fenix brawl with the three on the outside. Jungle Boy enters and slaps hands with his eliminated partner Luchasaurus on the way in. "Big Money" Matt Hardy is out, also not coming alone as Private Party to accompany him as they strategize in the corner of the ringside area. Sammy Guevara cockily struts out next to get the Inner Circle at full strength, and Darby Allin doesn't even wait for his music to hit before skating up behind him and getting an early jump on him. Seeing Sammy jumped, Hager and Wardlow leave the ring through the ropes to go beat down Darby. The Family and Lucha Brothers continue to throw down. Dark Order leave the ring to have another scrap with the Hardy Party. Inside the ring, Jungle Boy's stint only lasts a couple of minutes as Spears and Anderson form a temporary alliance to throw him out. The big guy Lance Archer then takes both heels out only for Eddie Kingston to sneak back into the ring and dump Archer out himself. Kingston eliminates the man who took him out of last year's Casino Battle Royale! Kingston celebrates alone in the ring as if he's won, despite there still being three separate brawls going on with groups outside the ring, including his henchmen continuing to brawl with the Lucha Brothers. The toughest man in wrestling continues to celebrate as the countdown is on to the #21 entrant..... SPOILER: show The crowd loses their absolute shit as MINORU FUCKING SUZUKI makes his way out! We’ve heard the rumors that AEW was looking to work with New Japan Pro Wrestling, well the forbidden door sure seems like it’s been open. Kingston looks beside himself as the self-proclaimed toughest man in wrestling now has one of the scariest motherfuckers in the business marching down to the ring. The crowd scream the “KAZE NI NARE” chorus to Suzuki’s theme as he steps in and stares a bullet in Kingston. The two have a stare down and the brawling around the ring stops as everyone is transfixed by what is happening in the ring. Kingston punches Suzuki but the pain doesn’t register with him as he counters with an open hand slap across Eddie’s face followed by spinning him around and locking him right into a Rear Naked Choke as the crowd goes ballistic. Suzuki picks up Kingston’s dead weight and chucks him out of the match! Butcher and Blade hop onto the apron to avenge their friend but ultimately think better of it when Suzuki stares them down. Matt Hardy forces Private Party into the ring despite them not being in the match and Suzuki just smacks them around like a couple of young boys, laughing like a sadistic bastard all the way. Matt himself tries to sneak up on Suzuki but only gets a snapmare followed by a Penalty Kick straight to the chest. The crowd is still in a frenzy, Suzuki picks Matt Hardy up...can he hit it…..GOTCH STYLE PILEDRIVER! And Matt is thrown out. Anyway that was a major markout moment for the fans, but all good things must come to an end as all three Inner Circle members jump Suzuki. I mean hey, they hate old guys, but Suzuki is a lot scarier than most so it’s gotta be all hands on deck. Still, three against one Suzuki is out to huge heat. The Lucha Bros, Dark Order, and Darby all realize their only hope of any of them winning is breaking down the Inner Circle, so we end up with a 5 on 3 situation. Sammy and Darby resume their fight while Hager and Wardlow end up in 2 on 1 situations. Lucha Bros take out Hager, Dark Order take out Wardlow. Sammy reverses Darby and sends him flying out, but Darby still has a score to settle so he pulls Sammy out under the ropes, positions him onto the apron and delivers a brutal Coffin Drop to him. Tornado tag action in the ring now, Lucha Bros vs. Dark Order. Ends up lasting for several minutes with a lot of elimination tease spots. Eventually Penta shelves Colt. Hangman lifts out Fenix. Penta charges at Hangman but he ducks and pulls down the ropes, HANGMAN WINS!!! But wait, Sammy was never eliminated, he sneaks in from behind and throws out Hangman EXCEPT HE DOESN’T! Sammy doesn’t realize Hangman held onto the apron. BUCKSHOT LARIAT! Sammy does a full flip on the sell job and Page throws him out. HANGMAN WINS FOR REAL NOW!!! Crowd goes nuts as a jubilant Hangman celebrates with the finest booze money can buy, he’s going to All Out! Winner: Hangman Adam Page 75% overall rating Not a great overall rating since the overness was some of the participants was down......but I give this 6 stars, fuck you Scott Keith!

This is actually a pretty neat idea. It's sort of a weird Royal Rumble-War Games hybrid. I was wondering how you'd get around the limit of the game not actually being able to do 21 participants but Scorpio Sky running afoul of misfortune was tops. I don't know if I'd be able to script out a Royal Rumble because I'm not Pat Patterson. I feel like I should know who Suzuki is but my memory isn't what it used to be. Page should have wheeled out cases of booze and handed them out to the crowd. Yeah, parents might complain about kids potentially getting their hands on some but what the fuck are they doing at a PPV late at night anyway?

[M-A-G]

Originally Posted by Conspiracy Victim Vito I only caught the tail end of that last match but it sounded pretty epic, I only just got back from attending to the shower situation. I mean it took quite a while to get things going but eventually I got it working but the ladies wanted me to stay and make sure it didn’t break down again so I had to kinda hang there for a while. I guess it was just the excessive steam but I’m tired. Like, really really tired like I just went through a marathon. Strange. In totally unrelated verbiage I think I definitely blew my creative load on that last write up so I might be a little more to the point the rest of the way.

See, this is why you need the video equipment. Should something have failed again during their hot, steamy, naked, wet, cleansing shower session, you'd have something to check on, over and over and over, to find the problem. THOROUGHNESS ISN'T SOMETHING TO TAKE LIGHTLY!

AEW Women’s World Championship Nyla Rose w/ Vickie Guerrero vs. Awesome Kong (C) What is the female equivalent of a hoss fight? Does such a thing exist? Because that’s totally what this is as these two just beat the piss out of each other in a really sweet brawl. Relatively even bout throughout with Kong having what appeared to be her roughest challenge to date, she has yet to face anyone in AEW that can muscle out of her offense quite like the impressive Nyla Rose. Several near falls in both directions and the referee takes an accidental corner bump. Vickie grabs the title and climbs the apron, screaming at Rose to use the belt to hit Kong. Vickie tosses the belt into the ring and Kong intercepts it. Rather than hit Rose with it, she gets her up for a Soul Collector onto the title as Kong retains.

Well the females in a lot of species are called cows but somehow I doubt that would go over too well in regards to this match. That was actually a pretty OK finish. Like when Goldberg had the opportunity to use the sledgehammer on Triple H but what was like, "LOL, that's for pussies".

After the match, Kong actually helps Rose up and they seem to nod in acknowledgment of the war they had. As Nyla leaves the ring, Vickie berates her and slaps her for losing. This makes Nyla snap, she grabs Vickie by the hair, walks her over to the announcers and HOLY SHIT Vickie takes a powerbomb through the announce table! Now that’s a write-off, excuse me indeed.

My head canon says that Vickie shit her pants on impact.

Meanwhile Kong continues to celebrate as the announcers wonder who could possibly stop Kong. Almost on queue, the lights go out and when they are back on, we see somebody on the ramp….. SPOILER: show BAH GAWD KANA HAS ARRIVED IN AEW!!!! Winner and STILL AEW Women's World Champion: Awesome Kong ***1/4, 78% overall

OK, I recognize her as Asuka back in NXT. Did she get shitcanned in real life, too?

Three matches in, three surprises. Did I just debut two Japanese wrestlers in consecutive segments? You betcha! The ladies especially popped for Kana, and they’re super appreciative that I’m investing more financial resources into building a must-see women’s division.

Details on how appreciative they were and the levels of exhaustion afterwards are strictly need-to-know.

TNT Championship “Freshly Squeezed” Orange Cassidy w/ Best Friends vs. “The Machine” Brian Cage (C) w/ Team Taz Physically these two could not look more different. OC looks like a stringbean wearing sunglasses and Brian Cage looks like he’s done enough steroids to make Scott Steiner blush. And yet the beauty of wrestling is that they found a way to make it work well enough. OC tried to play mind games at the start by appearing to take Cage lightly only to take him off guard with a bunch of flash pins that nearly worked. Cage tried to outmuscle him and OC used his speed advantage to evade some of the offense. Outside the ring the Best Friends and Team Taz tried to keep each other at bay and avoiding interference anytime one of the participants ended up outside the ring, but as is usually the case they did end up brawling outside eventually. As the ref was distracted by this, Cage grabs both the TNT and FTW titles and clangs them together on OC’s skull. Drill Claw and that’s all she wrote, The Machine retains. Winner and STILL TNT Champion: "The Machine" Brian Cage ***, 83% overall

Con-belt-to???

Jon Moxley vs. Miro These two have been wanting to tear at each other for weeks and now they finally get their chance. Both men started like a house of file before the battle turned surprisingly more technical as both men have been known to use choke holds, but neither could get it fully locked in on one another. Although this wasn’t a No DQ match, the bad blood between these two caused referee Bryce Remsburg to use his own discretion to basically allow them to do anything short of felonious assault, and that includes not making a 10 count during prolonged periods brawling on the floor and even among the fans. Eventually the melee made its way to the rampway, Miro locking in Game Over on Mox and Mox slamming his fist to the ground in pain, but it can’t count as a tap up on the ramp. Mox summons some reserve energy sources and surprisingly muscles Miro up on his back...he leaps back and the two go crashing through the stage! Shades of Taz and Bam Bam Bigelow in ECW. The “holy shit” chants get up in full force as Mox is able to pull himself from the wreckage. Remsburg has seen enough and rules the match in favor of Mox by way of knock out. Winner: Jon Moxley ****1/4, 89% overall

I mean the rules clearly say 'tap out', not 'pound the surface'.

AEW World Tag Team Championship Santana and Ortiz vs. The Young Bucks (Matt and Nick Jackson) (C) Announcers bring up the history between these two teams – the Bucks successfully defended their titles against them a few months ago however Santana and Ortiz hold a PPV victory over the Bucks from Full Gear in November 2019. I’m not really sure what to even say about this match because I’ve booked these two teams in this game before and, well, just like in real life it’s always quality. These two teams gel beautifully and the Bucks seem to work well against anyone they face ever. In a night full of surprises, we see another one here as Nick Jackson is sent flying out of the ring, leaving Matt to fall prey to the Street Sweeper. 3 seconds later and we have NEW tag team champions! The surprise isn’t that Santana and Ortiz won…..but they won it clean? The Inner Circle won something clean???? The Bucks seem taken aback by all of this, but are willing to acknowledge the better men on this night. They extend their hands to the new champs but the heels blow them off. Winners and NEW AEW Tag Team Champions: Santana and Ortiz ****1/2, 94% overall

Was wondering when those tag titles would be switched. I'd imagine some sort of multi-team thing would be in the works judging from what went down earlier. Indeed, this show does seem to be pleasing the game.

Match for the Right to the Rhodes Name Maxwell Jacob Friedman w/ Wardlow vs. Cody Rhodes w/ Dustin Rhodes Wardlow despite having a long run in the Casino Battle Royale is back out there as MJF’s right hand man. Though Dustin was forced into retirement from the ring three days ago, Cody wanted his brother by his side one last time to even the score. I imagine the ring work for this one to be very old school NWAish of nature, which is fitting given that the match is for the Rhodes name. MJF just being an insufferable prick the whole time, being the Flair to Cody’s Dusty. Cody avoids defeat a few times, and a few hopes spots in there but MJF always manages to wrangle his way to the ropes and at one point Wardlow himself gets his foot under the ropes. Naturally, this gives rise to the expected fun-but-overbooked schmozz on the outside of the ring. Dustin starts taking it to Wardlow and from there we have a heaping helping of interference spot chaos outside the ring. Sammy Guevara and Jake Hager are out to get on Dustin but Darby Allin skates his way out, wanting to get himself even more of Sammy after they fought in the Battle Royale earlier. Darby and Sammy brawl backstage, as do Hager and Dustin. Wardlow gets back to his feet only for STING to emerge from the crowd! STING??? WHAT? MJF and Wardlow can’t believe it. Sting points his bat at Wardlow…..only to then drop it and hit Wardlow with….a spinning elbow? The crowd instantly pops at that because that wasn’t any spinning elbow, that was the Judas Effect! Sting pulls off the mask and it’s CHRIS JERICHO!!! MJF looks like he’s seen a ghost….and while he has his eye off the ball, Cody grabs him from behind and gets him into position. Cross Rhodes! Cody wins! Cody avenges his family and the legends that MJF has tormented, and perhaps the bigger story is Chris Jericho is back and ready to make his former faction pay for putting him on the shelf. Winner: Cody Rhodes ****1/4, 94% overall

Quite the payoff but I'd like to believe that if I were watching this live, Jericho's absurd dad bod would immediately give it away that it wasn't Sting. Like, Barry Windham trying to pose as Sting levels of ridiculous.

--- 30-Minute Iron Man Match for the AEW World Championship “The Bastard” PAC vs. “The Cleaner” Kenny Omega (C) w/ Don Callis Again even though it’s the main event I’m not really sure what else I can say about these two, they pulled out a 5 star match a month into their feud in a straight up singles match, I can only imagine what it’s gonna be like 3 months later in their blowoff match. Basically these two gel perfectly and everybody knows it. Even though Kenny and Callis try to cheat at times, they have to be super careful with it because a DQ could absolutely spell doom for the champion. This becomes true as we chug right on past the 20 minute mark with no falls to be found. Poisonrana attempt on Kenny is blocked. Kenny gets to his feet, V-Trigger to the back of PAC’s head. Picks him up for the One Winged Angel and hits it. 1...2...3! Kenny is up 1-0 with about 5 minutes to go. Kenny has 5 minutes to run out the clock but there’s not a lot he can do. Although it is a 30 minute match, Kurt Angle made it very clear from the onset that a tie will mean sudden death. So Kenny can’t risk DQ or simply running around outside the ring getting counted out. He has to try to evade PAC in the ring and PAC is now tapping into energy reserves he didn’t know he had. 3 minutes left, PAC hits multiple release Germans on Kenny. Sets him up in the corner, goes up top. BLACK ARROW! 1….2….Kenny barely, and I mean barely gets his foot on the rope, pure muscle memory at this point. Only about a minute left, PAC drags Kenny to the center of the ring and locks in the Brutalizer. Kenny screams in agony. Callis is screaming at him to not tap. Kenny teases tapping but his hand eventually goes limp. He’s passed out from the pain! Aubrey Edwards checks his arm to make sure it’ll fall. 1...2...DING DING DING DING! The time has elapsed! Kenny made it! Kenny may not look like a winner right now, but rest assured he has won! Besides, Don Callis already paid for the celebration so here comes explosions with balloons and confetti falling down in the ring on Kenny’s dead corpse, all as PAC sits on in stunned disbelief that came so close yet so far from winning the big one. Winner and STILL AEW World Champion: "The Cleaner" Kenny Omega ****1/4, 92% overall 89% overall show rating

With a streak like the one you've been on it was bound to happen that you'd move up to global level. I also had a similar finish in mind when I did Jenna/Faith in their first Iron Woman match. The ladies no doubt want to do some more demonstrating of their appreciation.

[Evil Vito]

Originally Posted by M-A-G Where's my tremendous shot of Ivelisse's glorious posterior? :cry:

She's too busy in rehab, undoubtedly recovering from her addiction to butt injections.

Well, the doctor winning can kind of make up for the lack of Ivelisse's wonderous gluteus maximus. Also, did they do an update or something to the game where you can do a match like this?

Haha nah, I just booked it as a 2 vs. 2 vs. 2 tag. I've done Elimination Chambers etc in a similar way. One time I even did a title change in the chamber by booking 2 vs. 2 vs. 2 and then the winning "team" I booked immediately after in a 1 vs. 1 cage match. I make the most of what I can with what the game gives me.

Same thing with doing 2 vs. 2 vs. 2 (vs. 2) tag ladder matches and pretending it's Money in the Bank.

You can't leave something of that magnitude to some schlub who works by the hour. You send in a professional...and various pieces of video recording equipment....

Shit if I'm gonna be on camera I might need a name change. Let's see if the game will let me change my name to Max Deepwood.

I figured as much that was going to happen. Kazarian vs. Daniels ought to be a hell of a swan song for The Fallen Angel. Does he still use that name?

Yeah he still uses that name. He's doing a retirement tease angle in real life as well. He and Kazarian decided this year that they would stop teaming as soon as they lost their next match. So they went on a months long winning streak before the newly heel Young Bucks cheated to beat them and forced the longtime partners to split. Daniels has since moved offscreen teasing retirement while Kazarian vows revenge.

This is actually a pretty neat idea. It's sort of a weird Royal Rumble-War Games hybrid. I was wondering how you'd get around the limit of the game not actually being able to do 21 participants but Scorpio Sky running afoul of misfortune was tops.

Yeah I mean if push came to shove I'd just leave a schmuck like Billy out of the match in-game and imagine him still entering/being instantly jobbed out in a comedy spot but as it is this worked for the angle I was running.

I don't know if I'd be able to script out a Royal Rumble because I'm not Pat Patterson.

There was a spell where I fantasy booked the Rumble every single year when the season rolled around. It's fun to put the match together...but alas, any passion I had for WWE is long dead.

I feel like I should know who Suzuki is but my memory isn't what it used to be.

Longtime terrifying badass in Japan. Has worked for most of the major promotions over there, including running his own shoot fighting promotion. As a legendary figure in Japan him turning up as part of the AEW/NJPW working agreement would be a cool novelty. But the main thing is I wanted to get him in here for a few dates before he retires, which I assume the game will make him do as he's about to turn 53. His age hasn't slowed him down and he has a brawl rating of 85 to give you a perspective of where he is on the scale of Japanese strong style.

Originally Posted by M-A-G Well the females in a lot of species are called cows but somehow I doubt that would go over too well in regards to this match.

the last thing I need is to get cancelled here, if only there were another promotion tone deaf enough to do such a thing

My head canon says that Vickie shit her pants on impact.

Now that's taking Holy Shit to new levels. I mean in fairness to Vickie, grating as she may be she realizes that heel authority figures and managers only work if they're willing to be humiliated when the time calls for it. That might be just a tad further than she'd be willing to go though

OK, I recognize her as Asuka back in NXT. Did she get shitcanned in real life, too? Nah not in real life, as far as I can tell she's featured pretty prominently on Raw. But she was caught in the wave of mass releases WWE always does when you start a new EWR game. I have a house rule that WWE releases need to serve their 90 day non-compete, and I can't let them keep their WWE name unless they own their own trademark so I simply brought her back to what she was known prior to her signing there. There are 3 or 4 other people from the mass releases that intrigue me as possible signings but I have to be judicious with it as the roster is already crowded. Now I'm global though I may have to give real thought to a 2nd real TV show and maybe that could lead to an expansion.

Details on how appreciative they were and the levels of exhaustion afterwards are strictly need-to-know.

I love how a few shows ago I mentioned having three hot women massaging me, fanning me, and feeding me grapes and now a few weeks later I'm up to six women. What more could they do for me? Chop chop dig dig chop chop dig dig.

Con-belt-to???

I was imagining it as being clanged together like cymbals which I don't think I've seen before, not even sure that could be done safely since those belts are pretty heavy but fuck it.

Was wondering when those tag titles would be switched. I'd imagine some sort of multi-team thing would be in the works judging from what went down earlier. Indeed, this show does seem to be pleasing the game.

Santana and Ortiz are very much who I'd like to see be the ones to dethrone the Bucks in real life, although at this point their face/heel alignments have been reversed. If they can hold off a couple more months they have their first NYC show in September and I think the hometown boys Santana and Ortiz winning the straps there would be awesome.

Quite the payoff but I'd like to believe that if I were watching this live, Jericho's absurd dad bod would immediately give it away that it wasn't Sting. Like, Barry Windham trying to pose as Sting levels of ridiculous.

That sad moment when a 50 year old Jericho has a worse dad bod than 62 year old Sting.

The ladies no doubt want to do some more demonstrating of their appreciation.

They treated me like a king for sure. That said nearly all women's wrestlers are dating other wrestlers and two of them are married to other wrestlers in my promotion. Here's hoping I avoid getting my ass kicked

[M-A-G]

Ugh, I have a pretty decent card in mind for Unforgiven but it's just a matter of having the time to be able to sit and go full blast. Luckily I'll be on vacation starting next week so who knows? I might be able to finish the year barring any distractions.

[M-A-G]

God damn it, I fucked myself when signing some new (well, not really new, I had them on the roster before but I was re-signing them because of an idea I had for the tag titles) guys and I put them on an open contract for about $260,000 per appearance! Well, I foresee this storyline lasting only a month or so.

[Evil Vito]

Hot damn, that is quite the pay day book me whenever you want for that kind of money

[M-A-G]

Oh, you'd like that wouldn't you?