The official wrestling sim topic

[Evil Vito]

Nice to see things back up and running! The Rumble season is always a fun one to book because I lay out any remaining WrestleMania plans aside from the World Title match and always work out fun ways to integrate them into the Rumble match itself, even if most of it is just happening in my imagination.

[Evil Vito]

And yeah I've (once again) dropped the ball it's been a busy last few months with the girlfriend moving in and everything. Also as tends to be the case AEW goes through so many real-life changes every time I take a break it's like I'm stepping back into the dark ages revisiting a game from only a mere few months ago

Maybe I should go back to 2022 and finish the Fire Pro tournament before TPWW actually closes for good, which sadly I feel like might be on the table next year

[M-A-G]

SmackDown!: January 4, 2041

TWENTY-MINUTE OPENING PROMO OF DOOM TIME!!!!111 as the WWE Unified World Champion Wrakk makes his way out to the ring to address the people. "With 2040 behind us, I start the new year still the WWE Unified World Champion! Not even treachery like what Orlando Kincaid tried to pull on Raw can stop me from being the most dominating champion in the WWE. You don't luck your way into wearing this title. You get here because you deserve it, and thus far, I have proven that I alone deserve it. The sting of an entire year's absence still resonates, and I'm looking to make sure that every sad sack of crap that steps in the ring with me while I'm champion feels that same pain. You've been missing out on some sweet, sweet punishment and it's high time that it started catching up with you. So by all means, to the eager thirty men who want to slug it out in a few weeks in that Rumble, do what you can and summon whatever you can to get you to that main event spot at WrestleMania. That's going to be my magnum opus. A masterpiece of destruction...and despair."

Who should interrupt the proceedings but The Hero to Millions Around the World, the Host With THE Highest Rated Interview Show In All of Entertainment, The New Age Intellectual Savior to the Masses, The 2031 Fulton County First Place Conga Award Winner, The Luscious Lover of the Manager of the Year Slammy Award Winner and Undefeated Steel Cage Master and REAL 2040 King of the Ring, The Supreme Submission Machine, Mister Twenty-Forty, The Two Time Slammy Award Winner Including the Rookie of the Year and the Most Envied Superstar of the Year, the Man Who is the Rightful Winner of the Slammy for Cruiserweight of the Year, The Lord of the Ladder and Conqueror of Fears, Former WWE Cruiserweight Champion-Elect, the Cruiserweight Champion Michael Hotbody! This is certainly random, but certainly the Cruiserweight Champion has a reason to be out here joining Wrakk. Let's see what he's got to say.

"Wrakk, buddy, I'm so glad you're out here because I often feel at times that I'm alone in my struggle as a champion. It's true that I have the love of a good woman at my side, but there's that crippling void of not getting enough respect from all of the jealous challengers to my throne. But it's good to know that we feel each other's pain and that we can find a kindred spirit in one another. I, too, am deserving of this championship despite all the naysayers and we winners have to stick together. I mean, I don't need to remind you all that I myself am a winner of a Royal Rumble! That's right, I won one last year and that was the catalyst that put me on the path that I'm on right now! In fact, I think I have it in me to do it again, only this time I can head to the main event of WrestleMania and I can give you, Wrakk, that top level opponent that you deserve. Champion vs. champion, the way it should be for an event like this! Now, I understand that you may have your eyes set on someone else for the role, but know that I would treat you with all of the respect that you deserve because I know you'd do the same for me, a fellow champion and a fellow winner."

Wrakk has been looking annoyed during all of Hotbody's spiel and looks to give the Cruiserweight Champion an earful, but who should interrupt now but Duke and Drakken, the Wasteland! This has certainly been an odd way to start the show. Let's hear what these two have to say.

Drakken has the mic and he calls out both Wrakk and Hotbody for wasting time out here. Drakken points out how the two of them have done more talking than actual fighting in their respective reigns as champions. Duke gets on the mic and says that he's all for the new opportunities that a new year can bring and it would be a swell idea for both Wrakk and Hotbody to put their money where their mouths are right here and now. The Wasteland weren't planning on a fight tonight, but that doesn't mean there can't be one. Drakken throws down the gauntlet by challenging the two champions to a tag match right now.

Wrakk merely smirks, but Hotbody gets on his mic and asks the Wasteland who the hell they think they are. "Of course Wrakk is willing to throw down! He'll happily take you on and as his buddy and champion-in-arms, even though I'm still a bit tired from all of that New Year's physical celebration, it's my duty to back him up in his efforts tonight in teaching you two some respect! Let's get a ref out here right now!" Wrakk is obviously befuddled and confused over this, but apparently this is going to be an official match as a ref does indeed come down and the Wasteland follow suit. And so we get....

First Match: The Wasteland vs. Wrakk and The Hero to Millions Around the World, the Host With THE Highest Rated Interview Show In All of Entertainment, The New Age Intellectual Savior to the Masses, The 2031 Fulton County First Place Conga Award Winner, The Luscious Lover of the Manager of the Year Slammy Award Winner and Undefeated Steel Cage Master and REAL 2040 King of the Ring, The Supreme Submission Machine, Mister Twenty-Forty, The Two Time Slammy Award Winner Including the Rookie of the Year and the Most Envied Superstar of the Year, the Man Who is the Rightful Winner of the Slammy for Cruiserweight of the Year, The Lord of the Ladder and Conqueror of Fears, Former WWE Cruiserweight Champion-Elect, the Cruiserweight Champion Michael Hotbody
Hah, bet you didn't think I'd find a way to do Wrakk and Duke, did you? Well, I'm nothing if not chaotic and willing to try something new and off the wall. Speaking of which, Wrakk does the heavy lifting here and has the Wasteland as his personal crash dummies as Hotbody is in the corner cheering him on. Hotbody eventually tags in when it looks like Duke is all but paste. Drakken makes a comeback and gets the tag in to Drakken and now Hotbody has to experience some two-on-one pain. Drakken eventually gets the bright idea to drop kick Wrakk off the apron. Hotbody is in serious trouble as he gets further punishment and eventually the Wasteland get him set up for the Toxic Kiss. Wrakk comes back in, however, and plasters Duke with a clothesline. Drakken turns away from Hotbody as this gets his attention and the ref tries getting Wrakk out of the ring. Meanwhile, Luscious has run down to ringside and slides Hotbody a Slammy award. Drakken turns his attention back to Hotbody, who offers him a close up look at his prestigious award. Drakken, in shame that he hasn't won such an achievement, goes down to the mat and Hotbody quickly covers him and that's going to be enough to get the pic for the heels. *****, 97% overall.

I mean, hot damn!

To the back we go as standing by is the WWE Intercontinental Champion Seth Von Kamp. He's asked about the proposed rematch for the title that Chris Collins brought up last night on Superstars. "You know, I'm guessing Chris Collins and I have two very different definitions for 'deserve'. I thought me beating him at Bragging Rights would have put an end to this whole matter. But you know what? I get where he's coming from. I remember for the longest time believing that I deserved accolades like this Intercontinental Title right here. And even though I stepped on a lot of rakes along the way and got splattered against a bunch of walls in my path, I still believed that I deserved better. So, hey, points for persistance, Chris! But until you get this belt off of me, that's all you'll have and it's all you're getting. I'll grant him another match for the title, this Monday on Raw. Let's see if really deserves it." And with that, Seth takes his leave.

Second Match: Carmella Costello and The Southern Belles vs. Cordelia Capriati and The Perfections
Brooke is with Carmella and gets on the stick to reiterate her claim that her clients are going to be relentlessly breathing down the necks of the champions here in the WWE. She tells them that unless they step up their game considerably, there's going to be a lot of new champions in the coming days. Brooke puts over Carmella for being loyal and thanks her for putting forward trust. And to the Southern Belles, know that if things aren't up to snuff with Nathan Quinn, the two of them can always look to gain back those Women's Tag Titles under the guidance of Brooke.

With that said, 6 women are always a good thing. Thank Lzzy they've got the stats for in-ring work because outside of Hannah, the charisma leaves a lot to be desired. That's what managers like Brooke are for. Speaking of which, she makes herself useful by hopping up on the apron to get the ref's attention as Bonnie has Carmella in position for the Bluebonnet, but Hannah takes advantage of the ref looking the other way and KO's Bonnie with her custom mic. Brooke backs away as Carmella goes up to hit the Defamation on the fallen Bonnie to get the cheap pinfall win for the heels. Brooke looks to be getting things back in gear in her camp. ****1/4, 89% overall.

Third Match: Simon Bennett vs. Steve Hayes
More pre-match promo time as Simon has got something to say. "If you think I'm looking a bit rough you should see the other guy. Bragging Rights was, in a word, an experience. It wasn't particularly fun, but it was a fight that needed to be fought, and needed to be won. Under different circumstances, I wouldn't have wanted that for Adam and me. I get wanting to have a career of your own and had he just been honest about that up front, this whole ugly chapter wouldn't have been a thing. But what's done is done and I do have to credit Adam with giving me a gift of sorts. Adam was so gung-ho about making this return to the WWE a launching point for his trip to the top. All things being fair, I wanted to make a big impact, too. So I figure this: let's make an impact, then. Let's make this return worthwhile. Let's make all the time away mean something. Adam, in a weird way, you inspired me. What I'm about to ask for right now, I'm sure you hand in mind for yourself so I'm not going to feel bad about it. The big difference between Adam and me is that I have reached that peak and I would love to get there again. So I am officially challenging Wrakk to a match for the WWE Unified World Title! I may not have asked for these circumstances, but I might as well make the most of it while I can. Now I know he'll say something along the lines of 'things have changed since you been gone'. Well, I say let's change them back with me taking that world title from you!"

Well, that's as clear as you can get. What will Wrakk have to say about it? A question for another time as this match needs to happen. As you can imagine we've got to make Bennett look like a million bucks here. He's still smarting from the chain match and that's the story throughout this encounter as he toughs it out. It comes to end in a clean fashion as they go through a complex Irish whip reversal sequence that ends with Bennett hitting a Russian Leg Sweep on Hayes and he turns that into a Bennett Lock and that's going to give him the submission win. A strong case for Bennett being the number one contender has been made. ****1/2, 92% overall.

Once more to the back where Aphrodite is with her boys, Caleb Greene and Stanley Coleman, the Love Connection. They've got the Tag Team of the Year on their minds apparently. Aphrodite thinks that Moses McKay and King Kavovit should go back to the end of the line as far as title matches go. Aphrodite thinks that she's got the hot new thing in the tag team division, a team that could very easily be the next Tag Team of the Year. All that they need is a chance. They just need an opportunity and that can't happen when there's two sour pusses like the Royal Connection choosing to be stubborn about things. She invites the Royal Connection to test the resolve of Greene and Coleman so that she can proven right.

In-Ring Super Special Talky Time with the Money in the Bank holder Brandon Reigns. He steps into the ring with a five-mile smile and takes the mic to speak his mind. "Day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute, we are inching forward to WrestleMania 57. We're inching towards the inevitable. This briefcase holds the key to the WrestleMania moment that everyone will be talking about. Me walking out of that night with the WWE Unified Title in my hand is basically a guarantee as long as I have this briefcase. And yet, there are those who still want to be in my ear, trying to get me to second guess my plan. This even goes back to the King of the Ring, I've got people telling me to really reconsider this course of action. And I have to say that maybe there's something to that. Maybe there's a way for me to have some sort of insurance. Winning the Royal Rumble and going into the main event with two title shots in my pocket? That's a pretty juicy proposition. So I drew a number for the Rumble and thought to myself that this was a great idea, until I realized that I had so much fun watching everyone else scramble around for my amusement, and on top of that, it hit me that until WrestleMania when I cash in this contract, I don't have to do anything! I don't need to exert myself. I don't need to be answering to jealous whiners like Kerry Cemenko! I was just about ready to put that number back into the bin, but then I saw what number I did draw." Brandon pauses to reach into his pocket and pull out a slip of paper and shows it to the camera for everyone to see. It has the number 29 on it! "That's right. I drew number 29. And the idea hit me that I could make all of the peons in the back riled up. You all want a trip to WrestleMania? Well, I've got the opportunity right here in my hand. Unless you want to take a chance at maybe, MAYBE drawing number 30? The choice is yours, fellas, and I don't particularly care either way, but understand that this number right here in my hand may be your dream, but this briefcase in this other hand is your wake up call!"

Cue Kerry Cemenko himself coming on out to get in Brandon's face. No doubt he's still ticked over that whole cheap win Brandon got over him at Bragging Rights. "You know, you kind of already gave me a wake up call, Brandon. You revealed to me what a little bitch the Superstar of the Year is!" Brandon is aghast at this claim, but Kerry continues. "It takes a bitch to be proud of what you pulled at Bragging Rights, and it takes a bitch to be pulling what you're doing right now. Now I know it's not going to do me any good to try to get you to actually fight like a real man, so I'll tell you my WrestleMania plan. I'll do the whole Rumble thing, I'll take that Unified World Title, and then I'll have you all to myself."

"Pretty words, Kerry, but if Bragging Rights is anything to go by, I don't have to worry about a thing. I showed that I can handle you at anytime, it's just going to be extra sweet should it happen again at WrestleMania. But please, by all means, go give it that old college try. I'll be rooting for you the whole time. You may end up disappointing me, but you'll certainly be making me laugh like the joke that you are!"

And with that statement Kerry decides that slapping Brandon across the face is the best course of action. Brandon stumbles back from this and retreats out of the ring when he sees Kerry wants to add some more punishment. Kerry kicks the Money in the Bank briefcase out of the ring and yells a bit at Brandon as he makes his way out of here. The number 29 spot is apparently going to be up for grabs?

Fourth Match: Lyle Morris vs. Doug Michaels
It's pre-match promo night as Lyle gets on the stick to rip on his cousin, Chet. "Chet, I thought I knew you. We were close, so much that we were practically brothers! It was never in question that I would always have your back no matter the problem, no matter the size of the problem! But I guess you were hiding something from me all along. No, I don't mean your anger or your hatred or your pain. I had no idea how much of cowardly bitch you are! You talked so tough after what you did to me! You walked that aisle like you owned it and you talked one hell of a big game. Well the chicken's come home to roost and now you show how little of a man you really are. You want to throw shade at me and call me your enemy and blame me for being an anchor? NO PROBLEM! But you had better be able to back that up when the other shoe drops. I didn't ask for this, Chet. YOU DID! And one way or another, I'm getting your sorry carcass in front of me and I'm going to let you know, the hard way, just what I think of your little rebirth. You have been set free, but so have I, so I say I'm free to kick your teeth down your throat! JUST TRY ME!"

Wow, intense to say the least. Like this match as Lyle is all business and poor Michaels has to take the brunt of his aggression. Lyle finishes things fairly strong and cleanly as he sends Michaels into the turnbuckle, causing him to rebound backwards, then proceeds to come off the middle turnbuckle with a flipping clothesline/STO thing that plants Michaels and that's enough for the pin. Lyle celebrates, but notices Chet Morris on the stage looking on with trepidation. Lyle dares Chet to come into the ring to get him some but Chet isn't feeling it tonight and merely walks away. ****1/2, 92% overall.

Fifth Match: Michael Haywood vs. Romeo Valiente
We're told that Michael has been lobbying for a match against Jason Sorola, but Sorola hasn't been giving any kind of answer. Well, no time to worry about that as Michael is all business here, much like Lyle Morris in the last match. This is the third match in a row that's all about getting an individual looking strong for what's ahead. It's some fucking good shit, but then again you have to remember how Michael was part of some bangers while being teamed up with Gavin Jones. Romeo gets Michael in position to where he tries going up for the Cassanova Crush, but Michael was playing possum and he rolls out of the way of the impact. Romeo is hurting and Michael pounces on the opportunity by locking in the Rage Quit and that's going to give him the submission win. Post-match Jason Sorola comes running down and knocks Michael down from behind and locks in an STF and keeps it on while the ref tries pulling him off. To Michael's credit, he doesn't offer a tap out and instead looks like he passes out. Ultimately enough refs come down to get Sorola off of Michael, but the damage is done and Sorola taunts his fallen former comrade as he takes his leave. ****1/2, 92% overall.

And once more to the back in the dark recesses of the building where Haven has something to say. These dark recesses seem to be everywhere. He wants to talk about Victor Dark. "Victor, I know you may feel wronged. I know you may feel betrayed. I know you may feel abandoned. But those feelings, united as anger, are nothing without purpose. What will your purpose be should I fall to you? What will fill that void? If you and Andrea cannot come to a satisfactory conclusion to that conundrum, what then? Know the fight that you want to take part in. Know it as much as you know your enemy. I see my path after this fight with you is through...if you are willing to actually take part in it."

MAIN EVENT: Haven and Eddy Clash vs. Quinten McDaniels and Hugo
Quinten gets on the mic so he can brag about what he did last night. "I know for a fact that the minute I announced my participation in this year's Royal Rumble, you all went wide-eyed and then sat up straight. You did this because you needed to pay attention and be absolutely sure about what you were hearing. You did that because you know about what happened last year. I pulled off the incredible task of winning that Rumble and I came oh-so close to walking out of WrestleMania with that Unified World Title. I have felt it in my bones that I can get it done, and all I need is to complete this purge of my past and to get one more opportunity. You all know that I can do it and that makes you worry. Well, this isn't about you or your feelings. This is about me and my redemption! I invite all of my enemies, especially you, Orlando, to take part in this year's Rumble. It will be my pleasure, it will be my purpose, to take you all out myself. I have been set free and you all get to suffer the consequences!"

Well, he's confident if nothing else. Not confident enough to actually do most of the heavy-lifting here, though, as he lets Hugo handle most of the match. Eddy, the least experienced of the bunch, is tasked with face-in-peril duty. Things come to a climax with Eddy fighting off a double team and sending Quinten face first into Hugo's crotch via a drop toe hold. Haven gets the hot tag and it's breaking loose in Tulsa! Haven grabs Hugo, looking for the Sting of Solace, but Quinten low blows him from behind. HERE COMES ORLANDO KINCAID!!! He's got a chair in hand and Quinten in his sight. Quinten sees this and decides to bail with Orlando giving chase. Hugo stands over a vulnerable Haven but Eddy comes in with a save by giving Hugo a big boot. Hugo stumbles into the ropes and rebounds right into the Thunderstrike from Eddy and Haven really puts some mustard on things with a Sting of Solace and that's going to give the faces the win here. Victor Dark and Andrea make their way out onto the stage during the post-match happenings and glare at Haven as we go off the air. ****1/2, 92% overall.

Overall show rating: 89%

[M-A-G]

BREAKING FROM THE DESK OF THE GENERAL MANAGER! It has been confirmed that not only has Chris Collins accepted Seth Von Kamp's offer for another Intercontinental Title Match on Raw, it will open the show and be contested under Falls Count Anywhere rules.

Also, Brandon Reigns has put the number 29 spot in the Royal Rumble up for grabs and thus a 20-man open invitation battle royal will be the main event of Raw, with the winner claiming that position. How will this shape the Royal Rumble, if at all. Be sure to be there this Monday night!

[Evil Vito]

Ha! That's quite the clever way to get to Duke vs. Wrakk. Visually it makes sense too because you just can imagine Hotbody being a huge asshole the entire time, trying his hardest to not get involved physically. Only to eventually tag in and nearly ruin the whole thing.

Most certainly lived up to the hype though, maybe the game is onto something with Duke. Duke for #29 in the Royal Rumble!

Brandon's antics are great too. It makes sense why the MITB winner would normally want the extra insurance but then to draw a late number and have everyone fight over it out of amusement? It's brilliant.

[M-A-G]

Raw: January 7, 2041

Opening Match: WWE Intercontinental Title - Falls Count Anywhere
Seth Von Kamp (c) vs. Chris Collins
As promised, we're kicking things off with this sucker. It was a banger at Bragging Rights and it'll certainly be a banger here, no? Seth's been a fighting champion since winning the thing back at Summerslam and it's been tough to call as who can end this run and when. Collins gives it his all here to his credit. It's a fun brawl that spills into the crowd. We eventually end up at a merchandise stand as the two ruin some poor sap's day. Collins sends Seth crashing into the set up and tries choking the champion out with one of his own T-shirts. Seth responds by smacking Collins with a replica title belt, causing Collins to release his grasp. Seth finishes things by putting Collins through one of the tables with the Collapse of Society and gets the pin fall to retain the championship!

Well, that was wild to say the least. Post-match, Seth limps away in triumph BUT HERE COMES RONNIE COSTELLO!!! WTF IS HE DOING? Well, he's kicking Seth's ass apparently. He gets in some good shots after knocking the champion down and then caps things off by sending Seth through another merch stand. Brooke is evidently VERY serious with her claims about her clients. Ronnie walks off satisfied as we get officials down to the scene to check on Seth. ****1/2, 93% overall.

To the back we go where Ethan Lang and Cameron Harper are getting ready. Jake Connelly comes in to offer some words of wisdom as both men are going to be taking part in that battle royal tonight for that number 29 spot in the Rumble. Jake points out that while it sucks that there can only be one winner, if the two of them can be unified, they can assure that at least that one can be either Ethan or Cameron. Jake also emphasizes that he doesn't want any hard feelings, no matter what happens out there. Ethan says he's fine with it, but Cameron merely clutches the framed photo he gave to Jake and walks off. What's going on here?

In-Ring Super Special Talky Time as our illustrious General Manager Lisa Benton comes out to address the crowd for what's sure to be a huge announcement. She takes the mic and tells the crowd that she hopes they enjoy the rest of the show, despite her announcement that she's going to reveal right now. "Almost 40 years ago, I sat in the middle of an excited wrestling crowd much like this one and was mesmerized and captivated by what I witnessed in this ring. In what was merely a chore that my brother had to do in taking me along, it became the beginning point of the path that defined not just my career, but my life. Now I stand here at another crossroads, with more than 30 years spent in this business in one form or another. It's high time that I reflect on what I'm going to do from here on out, especially with the announcement that I have for you tonight. So if you please, in the back, let's cue up the video." Lisa gestures to the big screen and we're shown a highlight package of Lisa Benton's career, interspersed with talking heads giving their insight on her as a person and performer. It ends with the announcement that Lisa Benton is the first member of this year's Hall of Fame class! And she's being inducted by Riott!

We return to the arena with a tearful Lisa and the crowd in thunderous applause, voicing their approval of this turn of events. Lisa composes herself as she continues. "I don't know if there's anything that can top something like that. I take it as the ultimate compliment from my peers, my superiors, and definitely from all of you, the people who have allowed me to take part in this journey that has been my dream. But the flipside to that is that I have to take it as a sign that I may need to head off into the sunset. So it's with a heavy heart that I will be resigning as General Manager at the end of this month." The crowd reacts with shock and voice their displeasure, but Lisa presses on. "It's not a decision that I make lightly, but looking back at all the years and being reminded of the body of work I created and with this upcoming induction, I feel like I can go home proud of all I've accomplished. I feel blessed for having this career, one that a lot of people can only dream about, but all good things must end. In their wake, there may be tears, but there is an opportunity for new good things to be born."

Cue the music of The Royal Rumble Winning Hero to Millions Around the World, the Host With THE Highest Rated Interview Show In All of Entertainment, The New Age Intellectual Savior to the Masses, The 2031 Fulton County First Place Conga Award Winner, The Luscious Lover of the Manager of the Year Slammy Award Winner and Undefeated Steel Cage Master and REAL 2040 King of the Ring, The Supreme Submission Machine, Mister Twenty-Forty, The Two Time Slammy Award Winner Including the Rookie of the Year and the Most Envied Superstar of the Year, the Man Who is the Rightful Winner of the Slammy for Cruiserweight of the Year, The Lord of the Ladder and Conqueror of Fears, Former WWE Cruiserweight Champion-Elect, the Cruiserweight Champion Michael Hotbody! He's got a smile 5 miles wide on his face and just exudes giddiness as he comes down to the ring, interrupting Lisa. He gets on a mic and gets to work expressing his sentiments. "It must be my birthday and no one told me! Is this for real? Like, seriously? Are we finally going to be free of the tyranny that is Lisa Benton's reign of suck as the General Manager? My God, between Christmas and Luscious and I celebrating New Year's and me retaining my Cruiserweight Title, this is just an overload of excitement! I'd ask what I've done to deserve such great news, but to hell with that; I'm not going to look a gift horse in the mouth! This is an amazing night, to say the least. I can't believe it. Somebody pinch me because I think I'm dreaming! Lisa, it's been real, but I think I speak for a good chunk of us when I tell you don't let the door hit you on the ass on the way out! In fact, I don't see any reason why you should wait until the end of the month to call it quits. There's the exit right there! Don't let me stop you! You can go sailing off to the old folks' home right now!"

"You know, if there's one thing I'm not going to miss, it's dealing with your sorry ass, Michael," Lisa fires back. "But I had a feeling that you'd come out here. It's just in your nature to be a giant prick."

"Hey, you can't cal..."

"SHUT UP! I'm still the damn boss and I'm still capable of making your life miserable if I see fit. Like I said, I knew you'd be here so I came prepared to make another announcement, this one concerning your next title defense that will take place at the Royal Rumble event. You see, last week you made a claim that if there was anybody who had a winning record like you, then you'd be able to not only face them, but beat them as well. Well, Michael, I'm giving you a chance to prove that statement, because I did find someone with a spotless winning record that you're going to have to face for that Cruiserweight Title. It's going to be the battle of two undefeated superstars at the Royal Rumble! So let's not waste anymore time and let's bring him out. Michael, you're going to be defending that championship against this man..."

Lisa points to the stage, signaling that she wants her planned opponent to come on out. Michael Hotbody looks confused and worried as he looks to the entr...HOLY SHIT!!! IT'S NEIL QUINT!!! ARE YOU SERIOUS! The rookie comes down to the ring and shakes Lisa's hand as Michael is livid. Neil takes the mic and speaks his mind. "Lisa, it'll be an honor to take part of this match, not only because it'll be one of your last acts as General Manager, but I get to live out my own dream. And speaking of dreams, Michael, I don't know about pinching, but I do know another good way to tell that you're not dreaming." And with that statement, Neil drops the mic and slaps the taste out of Michael's mouth, sending the champion reeling. He turns back to Neil who drops into a fighting stance, making Michael think twice about this course of action and he decides to roll out of the ring in frustration. It's going to be streak versus streak at the Rumble!

Second Match: Dusk vs. Cordelia Capriati
Carmella Costello makes her way to the announce table, joining the team to lend her insights into Cordelia. Well, it's more like she wants to rag on her former partner and talk about how she's inferior. Carmella goes on to say that Cordelia left at the worst possible time because Brooke has a newfound focus. What Ronnie Costello did earlier to Seth Von Kamp is only the beginning. Carmella says that she'll prove how much better she is than Cordelia by winning some gold for herself. Carmella continues her spiel as this match goes on. Dusk continues to be a brutal, glorious mess of a performer...in a good way, allowing Cordelia to work out the kinks in her newly-acquired role as a face. Cordelia makes a comeback and it looks like she's in prime position to come off the top to hit Dusk with the Crowning Achievement, but Carmella leaves the table and goes to shove Cordelia off, causing her to land throat-first on the top rope. That's going to be a DQ, but Carmella enters the ring to try to put some more hurt on Cordelia. HERE COMES JENNA KYLE!!! Carmella makes the smart move of bailing, leaving Dusk to take the brunt of Jenna's flurry. Dusk pie faces Jenna away, giving her an opportunity to roll of the ring before things get too bad. Jenna stands tall as Cordelia starts to come around and they glare at the two heels as we go to break. ****1/2, 89% overall.

Third Match: Vivian Merrick and the Future Foundation vs. Madison and The Wyldhearts
Vivian Merrick throws the names of her boys into the hat as another team that deserves a shot at the Wyldhearts for the Tag Team Titles. Well, this seems like a good opportunity for them to make their case. Madison still has the goods as far as being able to work a match. Robbie plays face-in-peril for the majority of the match. It's interesting to revisit this combination now that roles are reversed. Anyway, the women get to be legal participants after the hot tag and Madison lets Vivian have it. The Future Foundation break up a pinfall attempt by pulling Madison off of Vivian. The Wyldhearts come in to take the Future Foundation to the outside, leaving the women alone to continue the match. Vivian ends up on the apron, but Madison tries to suplex her back into the ring. Rick Hilton is on the case, yanking Madison's foot from under her, causing Vivian to fall on top of Madison in a pin attempt. Rick holds down Madison's feet, preventing her from kicking out and Vivian is going to steal the pin for the heels. Well, this is going to stick in the craw of the champions. ****1/2, 93% overall.

Fourth Match: Simon Bennett vs. L.A. Xander
Paul Andrews joins the announce team to continue to make the case for Simon Bennett being the next challenger for Wrakk's WWE Unified World Title. He points out that Bennett has been there before and since Adam Hail is no longer a factor, he can focus on leading a client to the biggest prize in the land. He asks us all to consider the story that can be told here: the prodigal son known as Simon Bennett returning to the fold, conquering adversity, overcoming betrayal, and making it to the main event of WrestleMania, Unified World Championship in hand. The team continues discussing this proposal as L.A.X. and Bennett continue a pretty solid match. Bennett continues making a good case for his claim to the number one contender status by finishing L.A.X. off pretty strong with a submission win with the Bennett Lock. Wrakk comes out onto the stage post-match to stare at Bennett with a smirk on his face. ****1/2, 92% overall.

To the back we go again where Andrea is with Victor Dark. She points out how it's been a little more than a month since their arrival, and so far, the destruction of Haven is coming along fairly slowly...if it's even happening at all. She claims that she and Victor have patience for a lot of things, but the thought of Haven's broken body and soul has been on their minds for far too long. Maybe Haven was right about one thing. Maybe Victor does need to get...physical. Victor chimes in by stating Friday seems like a good time...although he won't count out anytime before.

Fifth Match: Leah vs. Debra Phillips
I'm doing what I can to get Debra some much needed experience under her belt to set her up to be a solid hand in the women's division. I don't see championships in her future, but who knows? I do know this match is hella rough. Neither one of these ladies has it going in the charisma department. Factor in Debra's low over rating and we end up with this. It's not TERRIBLE, but we've had much better. Debra tries to bail as the ref checks on Leah, but Ainsley, continuing her little feud with Debra, comes running down to grab Debra and send her back into the ring. Debra yells her anger over this at Ainsley, but Leah capitalizes by drop kicking Debra from behind, sending her into the ropes and rebounding into a roll up from Leah to give her the win. ***1/4, 79% overall.

Ugh, that one was probably a mistake to do in hindsight.

Backstage we see Chris Collins, looking like he's on his way out of the arena and pissed as all hell. He runs into Kyle Jacobs who is talking with some officials. He tries walking past, but stops and goes to get in Kyle's face claiming that he looked at him funny. He asks if Kyle thinks it's funny that Chris didn't win the Intercontinental Title tonight. Kyle claims he doesn't care because he's got his own problems to worry about. He's about to go win the number 29 spot in the battle royal tonight. He suggests that Chris go get his head straight because being this close to Kyle in the mood he's in is asking for trouble. Chris merely shakes his head in frustration and backs off slowly before continuing on his way.

Sixth Match: The Love Connection vs. Galino & Farnes
With a good chunk of the guys being involved in the main event, it's good to be able to do these kinds of matches for the rest of the show. Aphrodite dismisses Vivian's claim of the Future Foundation being the team that deserves a chance at the Unified Tag Team Titles. She thinks it's time that some love and real sexiness get brought into the tag team championship scene. Madison may have some heart throbs, but they don't hold a candle to the Love Connection. Bold words and Caleb and Stanley do their best to live up to them here. We're back on track with the match quality here as these two teams play well off of each other. The Love Connection get Galino alone and have him set up for the Lovestruck 2.0, but the Royal Effect, apparently taking up the offer of a fight, come storming into the ring and lay waste to the faces causing a DQ. Kavovit stalks Aphrodite on the outside while McKay lays out Greene and Coleman with a Mass Effect to each one. Kavovit tells Aphrodite that's what she asked for and he takes his leave with McKay. The tag team scene is getting ugly. ****1/2, 91% overall.

MAIN EVENT: 20-Man Open Invitation Battle Royal
This was set up due to Brandon Reigns picking number 29 for the Rumble, but electing to put it for grabs for some other lucky schmo and thus we have this. Brandon himself even comes out to gloat about it and claims he's going to be sitting at ringside for this match and will personally hand over the number to whoever wins it. Just like he's going to be sitting at ringside for WrestleMania's main event, ready to pounce and cash in the Money in the Bank contract. He claims that his road to WrestleMania is already locked in and he's going to have the time of his life watching everyone else scratch and claw all over each other to get theirs.

So for this match we've got:
Alexander Piero
Xavier Cross
Zed Jones
Orlando Kincaid
Quinten McDaniels
Chet Morris
Lyle Morris
Ziggy Styles
Jason Sorola
Michael Haywood
Clubber Harris
Kyle Jacobs
Eddy Clash
Ethan Lang
Cameron Harper
Kerry Cemenko
Hugo
Lonny Richards

That's quite the collection. Two separate groups form to each try to take Eddy and Hugo out at the beginning of the match. It goes nowhere as they're able to fight off the horde and make their way to each other to slug it out. Lyle manages to eliminate himself and Chet as he tackles his cousin over the top with a Cactus Clothesline. Chet manages to send Lyle into the steps, giving him the means to escape. The match continues and Ethan and Cameron eventually get into the groove and eliminate Lonny as a team. Ziggy is the next to go at their hands. Quinten does his damndest to hide from Orlando, with the latter having to stop his pursuit every now and then to ward off anyone coming to get him. Kerry gets in a verbal scuffle with Brandon. Taking his eye off the ball ends up costing him as Quinten sends him over the top to eliminate him. Brandon taunts Kerry and it looks like a fight is going to break out but the officials get in the way. They miss Jason being eliminated by Michael Haywood. Jason slips back in and tosses Michael and the officials see THAT. Sorola feels oh-so proud of himself, but he then falls victim to Ethan and Cameron's teamwork and he gets dumped officially. Eddy is getting worked over by Piero and Kyle. Ethan and Cameron go to help. Cameron tries going for Eddy's legs and manages to lift Eddy up and over but Ethan goes over the top with Eddy in a double elimination. Ethan is all "WTF", but Cameron doesn't seem to notice. He tries going for Orlando, but Orlando turns the tables on him and manages to hit the OK Corall. Orlando dumps Cameron Harper for his first elimination. Cross gets thrown out by Clubber Harris. Hugo and Quinten are the new double team threat as they work over Piero. Zed hammers away on Clubber in the corner. He charges Clubber, looking to land a big boot, but Clubber moves out of the way and Zed gets his foot on the top rope. That leaves him vulnerable to getting dumped by Harris. Kyle gets into the groove and goes on an explosive run of offense. That gets put to a halt when Chris Collins comes down to ringside to get Kyle's attention. Kyle gestures to Chris to get the hell out of here, but Chris stands defiant and taunts Kyle. Quinten and Hugo take the opportunity to double team Kyle into oblivion. They then proceed to dump Kyle to end his night. Hugo tries charging Orlando who's leaning against the ropes, but Orlando low bridges him and Hugo goes stumbling over the top to send him packing. Quinten tries his luck with Orlando and the two struggle against the ropes, each trying to force the other over. Harris comes over to break the tie and dumps them both, leaving himself and Alexander Piero.

We get a solid mini-match here from these two and...wait a minute. Is the count off? Did we miss someone being eliminated? Seems like the count is off. Oh, well, it's good shit from these two as the pace and intensity pick up as Brandon looks on. Harris finally looks like he's got things well in hand as he goes to throw Piero over but Piero locks his legs around Clubber's head and uses the momentum to pull Clubber over the top via a head scissors and he's the last one left in the ring! Piero has don...WAIT A MINUTE!!! WHO THE HELL IS THAT COMING OUT FROM UNDER THE RING BEHIND PIERO??? IT'S BUTCH FLEMING!!! WTF?!?!?!?! He hasn't been seen since SummerSlam!!! Piero doesn't see him! Butch spins Piero around and clotheslines him down viciously. Piero is too spent to fight back and Butch takes advantage of this surprise assault and tosses Piero over the top for the actual final elimination. Oh, dear God, that means Butch Fleming gets to enter the Rumble at number 29! Brandon Reigns looks as surprised as everyone. Butch goes over to the Money in the Bank holder and smiles in his face. Brandon merely holds up the number and Butch snatches it out of his hand. Holy hell, has the landscape of the Rumble changed or what? 88% overall.

Overall show rating: 86%

[M-A-G]

Originally Posted by Evil Vito Ha! That's quite the clever way to get to Duke vs. Wrakk. Visually it makes sense too because you just can imagine Hotbody being a huge asshole the entire time, trying his hardest to not get involved physically. Only to eventually tag in and nearly ruin the whole thing. Most certainly lived up to the hype though, maybe the game is onto something with Duke. Duke for #29 in the Royal Rumble! Brandon's antics are great too. It makes sense why the MITB winner would normally want the extra insurance but then to draw a late number and have everyone fight over it out of amusement? It's brilliant.

If nothing else, I know who to push if Drakken gets too big for his britches or decides to ride off into the sunset earlier than expected. He'll need a good last name. Duke Silver or something or other.

[Evil Vito]

The Benton/Hotbody angle was all kinds of glorious. Benton getting her moment of glory with making the Hall of Fame, Hotbody getting to be a dick to her one last time and then Benton getting one over on him.

Quint's a cool choice for an opponent and I actually have no idea what will give with that one. Hotbody's run feels like it needs to end at Mania, yet an impressive undefeated streak also feels more like a Mania thing. No idea which way it will go. Part of me would be tempted to have Hotbody lose only to sneak into the Rumble and win it in the most shithouse way possible

Speaking of sneaking in and winning - holy shit Butch Fleming! Usually the Rumble match itself is a time for surprise returns, so that makes for a nice twist to have a return ahead of time.

Wonder if the Rumble match itself will have a WWE-esque legend entrant. Get Ian Moore's ancient ass out there or something.

[M-A-G]

Oh, man, I wonder who I could grab from the free agent list to be surprise entrant. I don't know if it'd be anybody you'd know, but I'll take a gander. Ian would be something for a guy pushing 60.

[M-A-G]

Fuck, if El Dandy were still available and I went with your idea of Hotbody getting in, that'd be a great payoff.

[Evil Vito]

*phonecall to AAA and CMLL*

"Listen, do you have anyone there that can grow their hair out to look like El Dandy? We want to give them a quick stint as El Dandy Jr.

Hello????"

[M-A-G]

Superstars: January 10, 2041

TWENTY-MINUTE OPENING PROMO OF DOOM TIME!!!!1111 as Butch Fleming, fresh off returning on Raw and being the number 29 entrant for the Rumble, makes his way to ring. He gets right back into the thick of things by being a dick and berating everyone. "There was a certain something that Quinten McDaniels said last week that stayed with me. He said that you all sat up at attention when you found out he'd be in the Royal Rumble. Well, Monday on Raw, in that main event, I guarantee you all not only sat up, but you soiled yourselves when you saw that I was back! The piss started trickling from every pansy in that locker room when they saw me return and get that number 29 spot in the Rumble! The brutality of Hell in a Cell wasn't going to keep me down and away no matter how hard you hoped. In fact, your hope to never see me again was the fuel I used to pick myself up out of the mess I was in and come back in the most painful way possible way! I wanted to find a way to really make you all choke on all of your stupid little hopes and wishes! AND YOU DESERVE IT!!! You all wanted SummerSlam to be the end of me! You hoped that you would never see me again! Well the nightmare is back and it doesn't matter if you want to cry about it! So now all eyes are on the Rumble. I'm in possibly the best position I could ask for at number 29. Oh, there is a number 30, I understand that. But all that means is that some poor son of a bitch is going to have 2 minutes to rethink his life and whether or not it's worth making that trip down the aisle to where I'm knocking whoever's left in the ring around from pillar to post! And if anyone wants to do something about what I did on Raw, the line starts right here and I'll give you a taste of what the hell I'm talking about because I'm on my way to WrestleMania and getting back what's mine! DEAL WITH IT!" And with that emphatic statement, Butch slams the mic down and leaves the ring continuing to taunt the crowd.

Backstage, some of the locker room has been watching Butch's comments on the monitor. Two of them are Madison and Alexander Piero. The two look extremely upset, with Piero shaking his head in disappointment and the two start walking away. They're caught by our roving backstage interview crew who want to ask them about their thoughts on Butch Fleming and what went down on Raw. Piero talks about how Butch only succeeded in doing two things: being a coward and pissing Piero off. Madison adds that Piero is eager to be first in that line Butch talked about just now. He can't just steal from Piero and expect to get away with it. And with that, the two go off on their way.

First Match: The Academy vs. Galino & Farnes
Luscious is with the TOP LEGAL COUNSEL of Galino & Farnes and wants to assure all of Hotbody's fans that the two of them are combing through EVERY scrap of Neil Quint's history as a competitor! Freddie Galino adds that if Lisa Benton is going to award a championship match to someone claiming to have a spotless record like Michael Hotbody, there can't be any shred of evidence to the contrary! "The legal team of Galino & Farnes are tireless and committed to integrity and justice will prevail in one form or another!"

Fun as it is to have Galino & Farnes be douchey and slimy, The Academy needs to make a rebound coming off of that little mini feud with their former camp. We get a great outing here as I often forget how good Galino & Farnes actually are in terms of stats. We head home as Sophie Waters runs interference against Luscious and her attempt to get the GAVEL OF DOOM involved. Randy Ellis gets a hold of the gavel but tosses it to Galino when he sees the ref about turn his attention back to the match. Galino tries to use it, but the ref stops him and takes it away. The ref goes to put it out of the ring with Galino right after him in protest. He eats a flying kick from Mitchell coming off the top and that dazes Galino enough for Randy to hit Today's Lesson on him to score the pin for the Academy. ****1/2, 92% overall.

Second Match: Kerry Cemenko vs. Zed Jones
We're shown Brandon Reigns in the crowd making his way to a ringside seat behind the announce crew. I guess he's serious about this whole "do nothing" schtick. Kerry isn't thrilled seeing the Money in the Bank winner again and gets on the mic to give him shit. He tells Brandon that he can't hide behind that briefcase forever. Kerry then says he's going to make it a point to be around to watch all of Brandon's WrestleMania plans blow up in his face and laugh about it. Well, that's good to know. We get a hard-hitting match out of these two, with Kerry being extra salty. They head to the outside where the count begins. Zed manages to press Kerry onto the announce table and thinks about utilizing a chair for nefarious purposes. Clubber Harris joins the ringside area and meets eyes with Zed. Clubber stalks Zed for a bit, putting a pause on any chair-related plans Zed has in mind. Kerry stealthily crawls back into the ring to break the count and the ref eventually reaches 10 to award the win to Kerry. Zed is understandably upset at this turn of event and decides to go after Clubber with the chair. Clubber ducks and Zed misses and we've got ourselves a brawl. Luscious hops onto the back of Clubber, trying to go for the eyes, but he gets her off. That's enough of an opening for Zed to boot Harris in the bread basket and send him over the announce table. Zed scoops up Luscious and takes his leave. These two seem to be headed towards another showdown. ****1/2, 90% overall.

Backstage we go where we once again catch up with the Intercontinental Champion Seth Von Kamp. He's asked about what went down on Raw with Ronnie Costello after the title match. Seth wonders where the hell all of these guys come from. He's not going to think on it too hard, though, because he's equipped to send them back to wherever with their tails in between their legs and a story to tell everyone about how they failed when stacked up against the man known as Seth Von Kamp. He supposes that Ronnie Costello wants to be the next man on that list.

Brooke steps into the picture and hijacks the interview. She clarifies that the only thing Ronnie wants to be is the new Intercontinental Champion. "And while there are other avenues he could've taken, you needed to be aware of just how serious I am about my new initiative. I said it before that no champion is safe from me. The only question now, Seth, is are you going to be bold enough to try to prove me wrong?"

Seth leans in closer to Brooke and gives his response. "The question I would ask is whether or not your boy has it in him to prove you right? I'm down for some payback and I'm always down for defending this title. You get your boy to show up tomorrow on SmackDown!." And with that, Seth takes his leave.

Third Match: The Jersey Experience vs. The Pacific Connection
Man, there are some people I haven't put on TV in a while. Fortunately, this is Superstars and I'm always in need of some easy ratings. Enter 4 incredibly talented and gorgeous ladies! I'd like to be able to start pushing one of these teams into a bigger role. Maybe after WrestleMania. Anyways, some hot stuff here and Jamie Roderick finishes things in a decisive fashion by getting Mika to submit to the Roderick Legacy, giving the Jersey Experience the win. ****1/2, 88% overall.

Fourth Match: Ozzy Mandias vs. Patrick Dean Quartermaine
Ozzy gets on the mic and warns Jordan Demiras that he's still in his crosshairs. He claims that Jordan and Martyn LaSalle thought it was funny to treat Ozzy like a joke and not an equal. "They're not laughing now, are they?!? Jordan, the respect that I deserve is going to be beaten from you, one way or another!" Ozzy demonstrates how serious he's become with a very focused outing here against Quartermaine. Things finish when it looks like Ozzy has tweaked his knee. Patrick isn't buying it and keeps trying to go in for the kill, but the ref keeps stopping him. Patrick finally just pulls the ref out of the way, but Ozzy goes to the eye and quickly lands a sunset flip to get the cheap win. ****, 90% overall.

It's time for another edition of the Hot Button with everyone's favorite host, The Royal Rumble Winning Hero to Millions Around the World, the Host With THE Highest Rated Interview Show In All of Entertainment, The New Age Intellectual Savior to the Masses, The 2031 Fulton County First Place Conga Award Winner, The Luscious Lover of the Manager of the Year Slammy Award Winner and Undefeated Steel Cage Master and REAL 2040 King of the Ring, The Supreme Submission Machine, Mister Twenty-Forty, The Two Time Slammy Award Winner Including the Rookie of the Year and the Most Envied Superstar of the Year, the Man Who is the Rightful Winner of the Slammy for Cruiserweight of the Year, The Lord of the Ladder and Conqueror of Fears, Former WWE Cruiserweight Champion-Elect, the Cruiserweight Champion Michael Hotbody! He welcomes us all to the show and wants to get down to some serious business after the events on Raw this past Monday.

"Alright so there's some REALLY big news that needs to get addressed. One that involves one of the biggest stars in the history of this company and the incredible downer it was to hear what was going to happen to them! That's right, I am of course talking about me being forced to defend my title against some flavor-of-the-month like Neil Quint! There was OUTRAGE and SADNESS reverberating throughout the fandom of the WWE! And who is the perpetrator of such ridiculousness? None other than that cow who's being put out to pasture at the end of the month, Lisa Benton!!! Well, the joke is going to be on her! You can't just have some rookie fresh off the street coming in and getting involved in the Cruiserweight Title picture after just a few months! That's absolutely absurd! But you all need to know something, and if I may reinforce what my TOP LEGAL COUNSEL stated earlier, we are making sure that Lisa Benton and Neil Quint aren't trying to pull a fast one on all of you! Lisa Benton can't promote a match claiming one participant is undefeated when chances are he's got a loss or two in some backwater little town out in some potato field in Idaho or whatever! So Galino & Farnes are hard at work combing through Neil's sordid little history because this would be a blatant case of FALSE ADVERTISING if I ever saw it! You can't trust Neil Quint, but you can take comfort knowing that I will always be a beacon of truth and a surefire bet when you need to put your faith in something. I mean, what do we really know about Neil Quint anyway? Well, we're all in luck because I have the show and the platform to get to the bottom of things, so Neil Quint, this is your invitation to come on out here and be an open book to these people and make your case for why you think a sorry sack like yourself belongs in the ring with me! Come on out here!"

Well, there's the invitation, but is Neil Quint going to resp...oh, wait, there he is. He's got the same expression on his face that everyone who deals with Hotbody has, but he persists in his trip to the ring to join the Cruiserweight Champion. He takes a mic and gestures to Hotbody that he's here and ready.

Hotbody takes the opportunity to begin this interview of sorts. "Alright, Neil, all cards on the table. You would really be doing me a solid by saving on legal fees if you just came clean and told us the truth about your wrestling record, OK? We all start out small doing shows in high schools and backyards and county fairs and what not. At least that's what I've been told. I've been lucky enough to have a straight shot into the WWE and can actually claim an incredible winning streak, but I know that others aren't so fortunate. So what's the deal, Neil?"

"Michael, let's get down to the actual reality of this situation. Whether or not I'm undefeated actually wouldn't matter. Even if I had a thousand losses to my name the sad truth is I would still be better than you."

"Oh, so you're not going to answer the question? Well, tha..."

"NO, I'M NOT GOING TO ANSWER THE GOD DAMN QUESTION!!!" Neil snaps. "I don't answer to you. I don't give two ounces of crap about you and I'm not going to get sucked into this stupid little world of yours! It all comes down this, Michael. You're not afraid of heights or cages or anything like that. You're afraid of being nothing! You're on one hell of a run, I'll give you that. But the reality of what could happen at the Royal Rumble when I face you for that title is setting in, isn't it? You've got a man with all the momentum in the world coming at you on that night and you're shaking in your boots and tossing in your sleep worried that you don't have anything in your playbook to stop it from hitting you like a ton of bricks! You want to know about Neil Quint? Here's all you and all the people watching need to know, Michael. I'm a winner. I've been winning. I'm going to keep on winning and you're in the middle of that road. Do what you need to do to get you through the days, Michael. For all the good it does." And with that Neil throws the mic down, apparently done with all of this, but as he goes to leave Michael decides to clobber him in the back of the head with the Cruiserweight Title, knocking him down to the mat. He puts some mustard on it by knocking over the podium onto Neil and walks out of the ring in a celebratory fashion as we go to break.

Fifth Match: Carmella Costello vs. Missy Brantley
Brooke wants to work that mic and get a few things off her chest. She brags about so many things being put into motion that are going her way. Ronnie Costello has a shot at the Intercontinental Title tomorrow night on SmackDown!. Salvatore Scabbia is going to run though that Royal Rumble, no matter what number he gets, and go to WrestleMania to win what's rightfully his. "And as far as tonight goes, Sonya Braddock better be paying attention to Carmella here. Sonya, I know you don't have the guts to be showing up all the time, but I'm hoping you at least have the brains to be aware of the danger that's knocking at your door. I'm going to see to it that Carmella is in line for that belt around your waist that you think is yours. It makes you look great in an 8 x 10, but that's all it is: a look. I've made it a point of professional pride to surround myself with people who have substance. Know that the day you find yourself in the ring with Carmella is going to the longest of your life!"

Carmella does her best to live up to those words here in a spectacular showing. It comes to an end when Missy has Carmella lined up for a Lasso and she preps herself in the corner for launch while the ref checks on Carmella. Brooke seizes the opportunity to be a nuisance and grabs one of Missy's ankles and holds on. Missy understandably turns her attention to these turn of events and wastes time yelling at Brooke. Carmella charges at Missy and sandwiches her in the corner against the turnbuckle then hits her with the Defamation off the top to score the win. ****1/2, 92% overall.

We're told that backstage, the cameras have picked up something odd involving Cameron Harper. Apparently, word was that Harper was spotted talking to someone and our crack interview team tried tracking him down, finding him turning a corner, coming out from some back hallway. Harper is surprised at being found and he gets pressed about what he's doing here. Cameron assures everyone that it's nothing that anybody needs to be concerned about. He's just here trying to take initiative. He knows that's the kind of thing that Jake Connelly likes. "Other than that, there's nothing more that needs to be said." Cameron goes off on his merry way, but someone else comes out of the same hallway as Cameron. It's...Chet Morris? He sees the crew and heads off in his own direction avoiding them. WTF was that?

MAIN EVENT: Orlando Kincaid vs. Xavier Cross
Orlando makes it clear before the match that he's still got his heart set on covering his hands with the blood of Quinten McDaniels. It's a fight he didn't ask for or want, but it's a fight he'll enjoy finishing and it'll be extra sweet to make Quinten one of those 29 other bodies that Orlando is going to toss over the top rope on the way to winning the Royal Rumble. "Quinten, I want you to add this to that of things you're going through with all of this ass backwards therapy crap. I'm going to do what you couldn't and that's leave WrestleMania with that World Title and that's MY WAY of purging my past!"

So we finish hella strong with this match. This might actually have to be an extended program that I do down the road so that I can get those sweet, sweet stars and ratings. I mean, look at the results of this match! And it's on God damn Superstars! Anyways, despite being a fucking awesome match, Quinten McDaniels has to come on down to ruin things when it looks like Orlando has Xavier set up for the OK Corral. He goes low on Orlando and then tosses him over the top rope. He gets a grin on his face and goes out to get Orlando's body back into the ring, only to stomp the piss out of him and throw him back over again. He yells at Orlando that it's Quinten's time this year and he stands tall as we go off the air. *****, 95% overall.

Overall show rating: 89%

[M-A-G]

SmackDown!: January 11, 2041

Opening Match: Michael Haywood and Jordan Demiras vs. Jason Sorola and Ozzy Mandias
I say we start this show off hot. And then the DUD show says "LOL, go fuck yourself." I mean, looking at the rating it shouldn't be a big deal, but fuck, that could've been a 96% easily. Not hard to see why considering the heat amongst all of these fine gentlemen. Things break down with Ozzy and Jordan as the legal men and Sorola gets chased by Michael. The ref is distracted with that bit of tomfoolery. Jordan goes over to try to get Ozzy back into the ring. He reaches over the top but Ozzy pops up and smashes Jordan in the head with something. Is that Jordan's Cruiserweight of the Year Slammy? Where'd he get it from? A question for another time as Jordan is down and out and vulnerable to Ozzy's Blizzard of Oz and that's going to get the cheap win for the heels via pin. Ozzy isn't done and decides to mount Jordan and bean him in the head repeatedly with the award until he decides he's done enough. *****, 85% overall.

To the back we go where the WWE Unified World Champion Wrakk wants to finally address Simon Bennett. He's asked if he's given any consideration to facing Simon Bennett and defending the Unified World Title against him. Wrakk says that Simon must be psychic because he's going to say the exact thing that Simon predicted. "The landscape of the WWE has changed in the time that Simon Bennett was gone and doing whatever. Now, I'm not dumb. I pay attention to the major waves that are made here. I saw Simon Bennett make his big, glorious return. And while it looks like he hasn't lost a step and even gained a bit of an edge judging from that match at Bragging Rights, the years haven't brought him wisdom. Luckily, I'm in one hell of a position to provide that to him. An opponent like Simon Bennett is just the example I need to demonstrate my vision for the new year. Even seasoned veterans aren't safe! Simon, you and I share something, in that a signficant time away from all of this has left us with something to prove. At the Royal Rumble, you'll get all of what I have to prove the hard way." Looks like we have another title match set for the Rumble!

Second Match: Leah vs. Hannah McCormick
Nathan Quinn gets on the mic and informs us that his team of the Southern Belles are exercising their right to a rematch and they will get their chance at regaining the Women's Tag Team Titles that were stolen from them at the Royal Rumble. Nathan goes on to say that Leah has a lot of nerve parading around the place as if she is in any shape or form superior to Hannah McCormick. Leah leeched off of Hannah's stardom and she knows it! All that's left now are the days that Hannah and Bobbi are counting until that day they can make those posers suffer...that is, of course, if Leah has it in her to survive right here and right now!

Never let it be said that Leah isn't game. She's a ball of fire here and makes Nathan eat his words...well, via proxy as Hannah is left to take the abuse. Another sound outing that fights against the DUD show's wrath is on display. It comes to an end when the ref is bumped after Hannah ducks a clothesline from Leah. They continue to brawl and Nathan tries to help out by tossing Hannah her custom mic, but Leah makes a case for a women's NFL with her interception skills. She threatens to hit Nathan with it but he hops off the apron to avoid that. She yells some more at him and Hannah comes to grab her from behind, but Leah instinctively strikes her with the mic. The ref has come to, though, and sees this and calls for the bell to DQ Leah. Leah is understandably upset at this and goes to mount Hannah to give her some more punishment but Nathan drags his client out of the ring to save her. More and more intensity gets added to this whole affair. ****1/2, 83% overall.

God damn DUD show.

Once again to the back where it looks like Chet Morris has hijacked a camera crew. He claims that he's tired of all the talk from everyone and especially Lyle Morris about how he's apparently a coward. "Lyle, you listen very carefully. I wasn't afraid to do what I did to you and I'm not afraid to do it again! I have moved past you and it ain't my problem you feel left behind! But if you think you need to get something out of your system, well, I'm heading to that ring RIGHT NOW so let's see who's really the coward!" And with that Chet goes marching to the entryway. Are we getting a match? We go to break with that question in the air.

Third Match (???): Chet Morris vs. Lyle Morris
Well, we're back and Chet is indeed in the ring, gesturing to the back and calling for his cousin. Some time passes and it looks like we're not going to s...NO, WAIT! LYLE COMES IN FROM BEHIND! Lyle is all over Chet with a flurry that causes Chet to retreat to the outside. Lyle is in hot pursuit, not giving an inch. Lyle gets Chet down and backing away. Chet is trapped as he's up against the ringside barrier. Lyle has a dangerous look in his eye as Chet begs off. WAIT A MINUTE! Cameron Harper comes up behind Lyle Morris and spins him around. Lyle is all "WTF?" and Cameron gives him some lip before slapping the crap out of Lyle. Lyle goes reeling backwards and Chet pounces on this distraction to grab Lyle and send him into the barrier. Cameron walks off looking satisfied and Chet decides to put some more hurt on Lyle by dropping him across the announce table. Chet issues another warning to Lyle before walking away. What the hell was up with Cameron Harper?

Fourth Match: Cordelia Capriati vs. Vivian Merrick
Sophie Waters gets on the stick to talk for Cordelia and offers a counterpoint to all of Brooke's talk. She claims that as far as she's concerned, she got the real winner in the split between Carmella and Cordelia. Sophie claims that Cordelia isn't done with Carmella by a long shot, but taking a stab at that Women's Title is also on Cordelia's plate and it's going to feel so good to see the look on Brooke's face when she realizes that she backed the wrong horse.

A bit odd to compare your female client to a horse, but the point is made. Vivian, though, has something to say about all this and we get a firey back-and-forth match here. Carmella comes out on stage to observe the match and Cordelia makes it a point to acknowledge her presence now and then through the contest. It comes to an end when Vivian tries a superplex on Cordelia. Cordelia fights it off and sends Vivian off the top, causing her to land face down on the mat. Vivian struggles to get back up, but Cordelia comes off with the Crowning Achievement and that's going to give Cordelia the win via pin. Carmella walks off with disgust on her face as Cordelia celebrates. ****1/2, 81% overall.

More interview time in the back where Orlando Kincaid is eager to talk some smack about Quinten McDaniels. He claims that he's been having dreams each night these last few days. "The details change a little every time, but the overall story is the same. One way or another, I manage to wrap my hands around the neck of that little ass stain called Quinten McDaniels. And then after I wrap my hands around that neck, I look him dead in the eye and staring right back at me is a scared little puppy who knows what's coming. So once I get a good look at that and I know I've managed to crush all the hope out of him, I beat the living piss out of Quinten McDaniels until my hands can't take it anymore and then I throw him over the top rope! Quinten, dreams can come true, and at the Royal Rumble, I don't just wish for them to come true, I NEED them to come true. I need to smack you around and make you pay! I need to throw you over that top rope and eliminate you in that Rumble. Quinten, you gave me the gift of a fire under my ass. It's too damn bad that it was the biggest mistake of your life and no amount of this therapeutic crap you're going through is gonna help you!"

Fifth Match: Victor Dark vs. Raymond Delaney
This is Victor's in-ring debut as he alluded to on Raw. Andrea is with Victor, of course, and she gets on the mic to set the stage. "This was inevitable, in one fashion or another. Haven needs to understand completely who he is dealing with when it comes to Victor Dark. Haven, you need to understand that Victor is not the same man you abandoned all that time ago. He has had years to mold himself into the specimen you see right now. More importantly, he's molded all of those emotions into raw fuel. You and everyone else needs the Fear of the Dark to be put into you and it starts tonight!"

Talk is cheap, but Victor, to his credit, backs it up 100%. I just wish his debut happened on a non-DUD show so that it could've had a little more punch. This goes as you'd expect, with Victor getting his shine and being a dominant force. It comes to an end with Delaney falling victim to Darkness Falls in a thunderous impact and that's going to allow Victor to score the pin and make a hell of a first impression in the ring. Messages have been sent. ****1/4, 78% overall.

More backstage shenanigans as Vivian Merrick is storming out of the building, upset with what went down in her match earlier when she bumps into Aphrodite. Vivian is incredulous at the sight of Aphrodite and asks if she's going to give crap about Vivian's loss. Aphrodite claims she's been doing her best to lobby on behalf of the Love Connection to get a shot for them at the Tag Team Titles. Vivian scoffs at the idea of anyone under Aphrodite's watch being equipped to take home the championship. Vivian, on the other hand, has a team that was already champions. Very good and very dominant champions and it's high time that the Future Foundation have those titles again! Vivian claims that they were stolen from the Future Foundation in the first place in one of the most unfair set of circumstances EVER and she'll be damned if a couple of geeks like Coleman and Greene are going to be in contention. Aphrodite suggests that perhaps Vivian's team should take it up with those "geeks" personally. She proposes the Future Foundation versus The Love Connection this Monday on Raw. Vivian scoffs again but agrees, if only because it'll help prove her point. And with that, Vivian continues on her way.

Sixth Match: Alexander Piero vs. Zed Jones
Luscious gets on the stick on behalf of Zed and declares that Zed has had enough of Clubber Harris. She claims that Clubber has been doing a lot of overcompensating as of late because he knows that he got outshined by Zed in their match on the SmackDown! Send-Off a few weeks ago. Zed may have lost, but the blame can be put on all the things that Zed has on his plate! He has an intense training regimen to keep up! He has to be on guard for both Luscious AND Michael Hotbody! His sharpness can only be streched so far! "But rest assured, Clubber, that the next time you want to dare step into the ring and try your luck again with Zed, he's going to be all over you and the question of who's the real big dog in this fight will be answered!"

This match is the goods and while the guys do their thing, Madison is able to keep things on the level by making sure Luscious isn't pulling any crap. Ultimately, neither Madison or Luscious are going to have a say in the matter as while they have a scuffle that draws the attention of the referee, BUTCH FLEMING comes running down to smack Piero in the back with a chair! WTF?!? He puts some mustard on it by hitting the Slaughterhouse Special and rolling out of the ring. Zed dives on top of the fallen Piero as the ref finishes up with his business with the women and Zed ends up getting the cheap pin off of Butch's interference. Butch isn't done as afterwards he slides back into the ring and stands over Piero, yelling something at him along the lines of "Is this what you want, boy?!?" Zed tries to leave BUT HERE COMES CLUBBER HARRIS!!! He brawls with Zed a bit, but Butch isn't feeling discriminatory and decides to smack Clubber with the chair, too. This whole ordeal ends up being a heel beatdown as Butch and Zed pair off with their victims and toss them around. Butch is especially vicious towards Piero, bending the chair with repeated shots to Piero's body. We get officials down to get some degree of order, but the damage is done. ****1/2, 81% overall.

MAIN EVENT: Intercontinental Title
Seth Von Kamp (c) vs. Ronnie Costello
Brooke addresses Sophie Waters and the comments she made earlier. "Sophie, I hope you don't think for a second that what went down earlier tonight with Cordelia is in any intimidating. Carmella knows Cordelia, inside and out. And on top of it all, she has ME! The brains are always the deciding factor and you've always come up short when you went against me in that department. Carmella's rise to that Women's Title is coming, and I am going to take great pride in being the guiding hand that will make that possible. But don't take my word for it. A preview is about unfold right before your very eyes and the Intercontinental Title will be the first prize that will be claimed by my new initiative!"

Man, is this a night for talking or what? Fortunately, Seth and Ronnie aren't down for talking and they deliver a strong conclusion to the night. Well, strong for a DUD show that is. We're treated to an awesome back-and-forth match that looks like it can go either way. Of course, it can't last as Ronnie has the Brooke factor to tip things in his favor. Well, Seth had a good run, but I've got to make it look like Brooke and her crew are serious. So we're going to go with this route: Brooke hops up on the apron to draw the referee's attention. Wait, what's this? She has the Intercontinental Title belt on the apron! She takes advantage of the ref being distracted with her and she kicks the belt through the legs of the ref towards Ronnie. Ronnie clutches it as he feigns vulnerability. Seth goes on the attack, unaware of the situation and he hoists Ronnie up for the Collapse of Society, but Ronnie clobbers Seth in the forehead with the belt to put a stop to those plans. Ronnie ditches the belt and goes up to hit the Defamation as Brooke relents in her distraction. The ref sees the cover from Ronnie and counts the pin to put an end to Seth's run as Intercontinental Champion. *****, 85% overall.

WINNER AND NEW INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION: Ronnie Costello

And with that, we go off the air with a triumphant Ronnie and Brooke as they stand tall and confident. What does this mean for the rest of the champions on the roster?

Overall show rating: 84%

Heel of the night: The DUD show.

[Evil Vito]

I still remain envious of your DUD shows pulling ratings in the 80s. The roster is just next-level all around.

Fucking sucks to have a title change "wasted" on a DUD show though, but hey it still pulled in the 5 star bonanza so FACK YOU to EWR.

Butch Fleming might have my favorite promos outside of Hotbody. Writing for Fleming is just "act like a modern day Republican" and hurl insults accordingly.

[M-A-G]

When it comes to writing for Butch Fleming, I have to picture someone who's angry at the world all the time. It's easy to get into that mindset as I often have periods where a lot of things irk me in a short period of time and I just start to hate every motherfucker and their mother. A lot of his rants are based on stuff I want to yell at people from time to time.

Hotbody is just me being completely uninhibited in my goofiness, sprinkled in with a touch of wishful thinking. In both instances, I have to ask myself what can I come up with that would drive people to want to pay to see these douches get theirs. As you can probably tell, there's a lot of inspiration in the real world from which to draw.

[Evil Vito]

My brain immediately pictures Butch Fleming as The Butcher from AEW



Angry ass motherfucker with a sweet mustache (ironically he’s a super cool dude IRL and played guitar for Every Time I Die

[M-A-G]

Well, Butch is certainly an angry ass motherfucker. I think we've all come across somebody like this, especially a co-worker, where they live in a perpetual state of having woke up on the wrong side of the bed.

Other note I forgot to add after one of the shows, Miles Shawcross eats a suspension for the rest of the month for apparently being tough to deal with according to my crew. Take a time out to get yourself together, bro.

[M-A-G]

I'm doing my best to keep the momentum going, but the dodgy nature of the boards as of late has been throwing me off. I'm in the middle of the next Raw right now.

[M-A-G]

Raw: January 14, 2041

TWENTY MINUTE OPENING PROMO OF DOOM!!!!!111 as the number 29 entrant in this year's Royal Rumble, Butch Fleming, comes out to grace us with his presence. He looks like he's got more venom to spew at the world so let's hear what it is this time around.

"If there's one thing I can count on whenever I'm gone for a long time it's there ends up being a couple of boys who use that time to grow too big for their britches. All of a sudden, they've managed to grow a set in between their legs and think they own the place. But the kick in the pants about all that is that I get to come back into the picture and show them the reality of the situation and who runs things around here. Alexander Piero, credit where it's due, you deserve a pat on the back for taking me up on my offer to get in line and try to do something about what I did last week. Now the best you could do was talk crap behind my back, but, hey, that's enough to get you on my radar so hats off to you! What ended up happening to you was the finding out part of you messing around. Your sad little outrage offends me, Piero! You got a dealt a bad hand last week. Suck it up and take it like a man because you don't deserve this number 29 spot and you don't deserve my attention! You served your purpose as an example and I take this opportunity to extend the same invitation I did last week. You got a problem with me and this Royal Rumble situation? By all means, take a shot and end up like Piero because I'm not going to be questioned! I'm not going to be insulted! I'm going to be the last man standing in that ring after everybody's been sent packing in that Rumble and I'm making one hell of a return by taking that Unified World Title at WrestleMania! And one more thing...Brandon Reigns! I know you're here. You're here somewhere sitting on your ass instead of being a man. For your own sake, you had better rethink this whole cash-in at WrestleMania strategy you got in mind because the only thing you're going to do with that briefcase at WrestleMania is choke on it!"

This is obviously time for an interruption and this time it's going to be the former Intercontinental Champion Seth Von Kamp, fresh off of having his title stolen from him by Ronnie Costello on SmackDown!. Butch looks furious at this turn of events as Seth enters the ring with a mic in hand, ready to gab. "Butch, I consider myself pretty good at reading a room and I think I can safely say that nobody gives a damn about your...what's the term...belly-aching?"

Butch is incredulous at this statement as the crowd gives their approval to it. Seth continues despite Butch's anger. "No, spare me this little show, Butch! I hate to be the bearer of reality, but the truth is we're not afraid of you, least of all me. I don't care about what ticked you off this time around and I don't even know what it is you have to be mad about. You got your number 29 spot in the Rumble. You made your big return. I'M the one with the actual gripe and all this chest pounding you're doing out here is getting in the way of that. I'M going to use this time and I'm going to use it to call out that son of a bitch who stole my Intercontinental Title on Friday. RONNIE COSTELLO, get your ass out here right now so I can do what I was going to do and that's beat you for that belt!"

We get no answer from Ronnie, but Butch is ready to offer his response. "Seth, I've gone easy on you in the past because I've known that you were never one of those guys who was going to have the moxie to try to step up to me and piss me off, but you've both suprised me and proved my point! Look at you out here pretending you're somebody that anybody should respect. It's almost adorable. Of course, you do realize that now I have to teach you some respect for coming out here and getting all up in my business, right?"

"That's fine with me. I got a lot of aggression to get out and if Ronnie Costello's going to be a wuss, I might as well use it on someone who's asking for it."

Things look like they're going to reach a boiling point, but our illustrious General Manager (and Hall of Fame candidate) Lisa Benton comes out to try to quell things. "Hold on a sec, you two. I know I'm on my way out, but I'm still calling the shots around here and this little scuffle is going to have to wait a while. I suggest the two of you suit up and get prepped because you're going to be tonight's main event. And if there's any objection to that, then Seth, you can forget about Ronnie and another chance at the Intercontinental Title. And Butch? You can forget about that number 29 spot in the Royal Rumble. That's final, you two!" And with that Lisa's music plays us out as Seth reluctantly rolls out of the ring, eyes fixated on Butch the entire time. We're going to have an awesome main event...hopefully.

Backstage, Cameron Harper is getting ready when Jake Connelly joins him, looking none too pleased. Connelly is furious as he points out Cameron's mistake last week in eliminating Ethan Lang from the battle royal and then asks Cameron what the hell he was doing on Superstars and SmackDown! associating with Chet Morris and taking part in what happened to Lyle Morris. Cameron looks ready to erupt in tears as he turns to face Connelly. He responds with a major outburst.

"YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY I DID WHAT I DID?!? What choice did I have?!? All I wanted was to get even with what Lyle Morris did to me a few weeks back and neither YOU or Ethan wanted to back me up on that! And as far as Ethan getting eliminated last week? That was an accident, plain and simple! Maybe he should've been more careful and more in-step with me! I don't even know why we need Ethan! Jake, he's great and all, but I don't know if this is really going to work. I'M the only client you need! Quite frankly, if this whole Lyle Morris situation is anything to go on, I have to just flat out say it: he may be holding us back."

Connelly calmly collects himself with a deep breath before locking eyes with Cameron and replies with a stern tone. "Cameron, I want you to listen and listen really well. I have a reputation to uphold and it's not going to get soiled with this attitude of yours. I have a ship and I have a course for that ship. You're welcome to get off that ship if you want, but I'm not putting up with anymore of this. Tonight, you and Ethan are going to be on the same page, whether the two of you like it or not, or you can call it quits. Are we clear?"

Cameron takes a moment to absorb this, but reluctantly nods and says, "Yeah...we're clear." Cameron takes his leave, with Jake following behind him as they make their way to the ring.

First Match: Ethan Lang and Cameron Harper vs. The Royal Effect
Well, this isn't exactly the team for Lang and Harper to be tackling when they've got the issues they have right now. To Lang's credit, he's professional about the matter and handles the brunt of the work. Harper half-heartedly plays cheerleader in his corner with the framed picture as Lang plays face-in-peril. Things take a turn when Lang gets his second wind, escaping from McKay's attempt at the Mass Effect and delivering a drop kick to McKay's back, sending him forward and causing him to collide with Harper and knock him off the apron. THE FRAMED PICTURE IS SHATTERED!!! Cameron is livid and on the verge of a breakdown as he can't believe what's happened! He looks back to the ring in a fury as Lang continues his comeback. Harper is reinvigorated and slides into the ring with a furvor. Moses McKay is oblivious to Harper's appearance behind him! Harper grabs McKay, shoves him out of the way AND NAILS ETHAN LANG!!! WTF IS HE DOING?!?!?!?! Jake Connelly is just as befuddled as the rest of us as he watches Harper assault his partner! Harper lifts Lang up and hits the Cam Jam! What the hell is going on?!? Cameron slides out of the ring and starts to leave, beckoning Jake Connelly to come with him and leave Ethan Lang. Meanwhile, Moses McKay capitalizes on this turn of events and covers Lang to get the pin. Connelly can't believe what he's just witnessed and climbs into the ring to check on Lang. Harper continues to plead his case to Connelly, but Connelly isn't having it, choosing to stay with Lang as the latter starts to come to. Harper eventually decides to climb back into the ring, standing over Ethan Lang. Lang looks up at Harper as Connelly is shouting at the latter. It's for naught as Harper nails Lang with the broken picture frame sending him back down to the canvas before he leaves in disgust. What the hell was this all about? A question for another time as Jake Connelly and officials tend to Ethan Lang. *****, 95% overall.

Backstage, we catch up with the number one contender to the Cruiserweight Championship, Neil Quint! He's asked about what it feels like to have this opportunity at such an early stage in his career. Neil counters that it's never too early for something like this. "When you're good, you're good. That's what championships are actually supposed to be about, rewarding excellence and finding out who's the best. It's not about whatever circus Michael Hotbody wants to bring every time he shows up. The details may change, but at the end of the day you know that with him, you're getting a clown show. With Neil Quint, you're getting the best. And unlike how Hotbody weaseled his way towards that belt so quickly into his career, I'm actually going to earn that Cruiserweight Title. Hotbody, tell your crew to start folding up the tents because the show's over at the Royal Rumble."

This looks like the perfect time for Luscious to come into the picture and steal some time to provide a rebuttal. Luscious points out that the belt is already around the waist of the best. "Until you've been put the ringer like my boo, Mikey-Poo, you don't have a leg to stand on, Neil!" she claims. "Everything from cage matches to submission matches to fatal four-ways to tables and ladders and chairs and everything in between, Michael Hotbody has been through the fire and come out looking stronger and better than before!"

"Then what's with all the nonsense of him trying to get this match cancelled?" Quint asks.

"Hey, Michael isn't afraid of you anymore than he's afraid of any other person he's conquered! Michael just wants the WWE to show integrity and honesty when promoting its matches to the people. If there's one thing Michael can't stand, it's a liar! You were GIVEN this match and we just all want to be sure that you didn't get it based on a lie! If you don't have a spotless record like Lisa Benton claims you have, then you shouldn't get the match!"

"It says a lot when this alleged brave champion needs you to do all of his talking for him. As far as my record goes, it's WAAAAAAAAY cleaner than a woman like you!"

Luscious is AGHAST at this accusation from Neil and her subsequent gasp in reaction to it is so great it causes her hand to shoot up and across Neil's face in an action one could theoretically describe as a slap. Neil seems to think it's an act of aggression and starts to move in towards Luscious. Luscious is evidently confused as to how Neil could have misconstrued such an action and backs away as Neil follows. Fortunately, Michael Hotbody comes around the corner to hopefully explain things, but Neil bumps face-first into Michael's Cruiserweight Title. Neil is clearly in no position for Michael's explanation to have any bearing so the champ and Luscious take their leave.

Second Match: Dusk vs. Cordelia Capriati vs. Jenna Kyle vs. Carmella Costello
It's announced that the winner of this match will go to the Royal Rumble as the number one contender to Sonya Braddock's Women's Title and speak of the devil, she is here and she joins the announce team to watch.

Brooke is with Carmella as the first people to come to the ring and she uses this time to run down the champion as well as the rest of the competitors. "First, a message to Seth Von Kamp, the FORMER Intercontinental Champion. Ronnie has asked me to pass this along, as he's far too busy being a very important figure now that he's the NEW INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION! Ronnie wants Seth to know that there are no hard feelings. Ronnie didn't really want to be the one to have to put an end to the storybook tale that was your miraculous title reign, Seth. Unfortunately, my new initiative doesn't leave a whole lot of room for sappiness and all that noise. All that matters is bringing all the gold to my side of the tracks. Seth, you were the first victim of this bold movement, but rest assured that you won't be the last. Which brings us to tonight and the Royal Rumble. Sonya Braddock, I trust that you clutched your belt just a little bit tighter when you saw the end to SmackDown! on Friday. You realize that I'm dead serious about my clients going on the hunt for all the champions here in the WWE. You sit there and you watch as it starts to hit you that my goal starts to become more and more real. Carmella is going to walk all over her competition in this match! Look at who we've got. Let's start with Dusk. Dusk, sorry, no offense, but it's just way too soon for you to be in a match like this with stakes like this. Jenna Kyle is nothing more than a pathetic Barbie doll who doesn't even deserve this chance after already blowing it at Bragging Rights. And then there's Cordelia. There may be a special place in hell for traitors, but I've always been more keen on my own brand of punishment. Cordelia, Carmella is more talented than you and she has all the motivation she needs to wipe the floor with you anytime! Seth Von Kamp was victim number one; Cordelia, appropriately enough, you get the honor of being number two!"

Brooke is certainly wordy tonight, but the time for words gets thrown out the window as this match gets underway. Luckily, I've got four talented women tussling here, with Jenna being the anchor keeping things in line. Braddock offers her thoughts on the competitors throughout the match as she watches. Things come to a head when Dusk and Jenna spill to the outside in front of Braddock. Dusk gives Braddock the stink eye and the two have words. The ref tries to calm things down and get Dusk back into the match. Brooke uses this chance to slide some brass knuckles to Carmella. Sophie Waters goes over to Brooke to give her some attitude in response. Jenna manages to slip out of the grasp of Dusk as Dusk tries to send her into the ring post. Jenna shoves Dusk into said ring post, knocking her out of the equation. Jenna rejoins Carmella and Cordelia in the ring as Cordelia has Carmella waistlocked, unaware of the knuckles in Carmella's possession. Jenna waistlocks Cordelia as it looks like we're going to get a double German suplex. Cordelia elbows Jenna to get out of the predicament, but that allows Carmella to get free and she turns around to KO Cordelia with the knux as the ref is checking on Jenna. Carmella covers Cordelia and that's going to give her the win and the number one contender status. Braddock looks less than impressed as Brooke and Carmella celebrate. ****1/2, 91% overall.

The next inductee for this year's Hall of Fame is...Jason Collins! The multiple time World Champion and father to current WWE Superstar Chris Collins takes his place among the rest of the greats the night before WrestleMania, joining Lisa Benton for this year's class. He will be inducted by Pete Shapiro.

Third Match: Kerry Cemenko and Eddy Clash vs. Chris Collins and Hugo
Kyle Jacobs joins the announce team to offer his views on Chris Collins during this match. Chris Collins gets on the stick before the match, wanting to talk about his dad. "I bet you all think I should feel some kind pride over the news of my deadbeat loser father getting fluffed and praised by a bunch of other deadbeat losers for the Hall of Fame, huh? Let me be perfectly clear on this: I DON'T GIVE A DAMN. I'm too busy crafting my own story, my own Hall of Fame career, and I'm doing it without making the same dumb mistakes my father did! Pete Shapiro, I sure as hell wasn't going to do the induction, because I wasn't going to be some puppet blowing smoke up everyone's ass! Quite frankly, every person who takes part in that night and fawns over my dad and whatever crap comes out of his mouth should be ashamed of themselves and that includes any of you fans!"

Chris Collins glares at the crowd as they proceed to boo him. He then turns his attention to Kyle Jacobs. "You see that, Kyle? THAT'S how you handle yourself as the offspring of a famous family. Take matters into your hands and live for yourself because that's the only way you're even going to come close to a legacy like mine. And you've got the best seat in the house to watch this match because there's plenty more to learn!"

This is the part where we talk about how awesome this match is. Eddy and Hugo, of course, are down with continuing their kaiju antics. Things come to an end as things break down after the hot tag with the two giants brawling on the outside, leaving Chris and Kerry as the legal men. The ref can only watch Eddy and Hugo slug it out, allowing Chris Collins to slip out of the ring to grab a chair. Chris hops back on the apron, looking to get back into the ring, but Kyle Jacobs leaves the announce table to take the chair out of Chris's hand. Chris turns his attention to Kyle in anger, but Eddy is back in action, having sent Hugo into the steps. Eddy brings Chris back in via a belly-to-back suplex, folding up poor Chris, and that leaves him open to a Curb Stomp from Kerry and the pin fall afterward is academic. Kyle walks off, eyes on the beaten Chris Collins as he leaves. ****1/2, 92% overall.

Fourth Match: Bonnie Beckham vs. Bobbi Jo
Nathan Quinn announces that the match between his Southern Belles and the Perfections for the Women's Tag Team Titles at the Royal Rumble is going to be contested under Tornado Rules. He claims it's fitting as it's two teams, no excuses. He again complains about the titles being stolen by Bonnie and Leah. "The Perfections are far from perfect. I know them because I made them and they think that they can get even for me dumping them by stealing what rightfully belongs to the Southern Belles! The Royal Rumble is where Hannah and Bobbi Jo put an end to this charade!"

Well, this match is no charade. It's fucking sweet as hell. To think under other circumstances, namely not having the women's tag division, these two probably would've suffered from a roster purge a long time ago. Thankfully I had the tremendous idea of doing this division. Ahem...anyway, a fucking great match comes out of this pairing as we get a preview of what's to come at the Rumble. We get our finish in the form of Nathan drawing the ref's attention as the ref questions him about possibly putting Bobbi Jo's foot on the bottom rope to stop the count. Nathan proclaims innocence but this is opening for Hannah McCormick to come on down and slide a guitar to her partner, unbeknownst to Bonnie, who has joined the ref in the questioning. Bonnie eventually turns her attention back to Bobbi Jo, who takes the guitar and El Kabongs poor Bonnie, shattering it. Hannah helps gets rid of the evidence and Nathan eventually backs down, allowing the ref to get back to the match and see Bobbi Jo covering the KO'd Bonnie and count the pin. Well, you had to know the country gals would draw inspiration from Jeff Jarrett. ****1/2, 92% overall.

Backstage we go again with Simon Bennett and his manager Paul Andrews. They remind everyone about the match between Bennett and Wrakk for the Unified World Title is, indeed, on for the Royal Rumble. Bennett claims that perhaps Adam Hail had the right idea. "All of this trouble and all of the pageantry surrounding coming back to the WWE after all these years, I might as well make it mean something. This man next to me put a lot of work into getting me back into the thick of things here. This man believed that there was more for me to do in the world of wrestling. Now who am I to refuse such a stamp of approval? Wrakk, I don't know much about landscapes or creating art or whatever it is you've been on about for these past few months. The only picture I want people to take away from all of this is the image of me holding up that WWE Unified World Title at the Royal Rumble. It'll be a picture of the absolute best and a picture where anyone looking at it will say to themselves, 'Damn, right there is a champion. That right there is a guy who went through hell.' Contrary to what you may believe, Wrakk, I came back at the absolute right time."

Fifth Match: The Love Connection vs. The Future Foundation
This was set up on SmackDown! after Aphrodite had a run-in with Vivian Merrick. These two, along with the Royal Effect, have been aiming for the Unified Tag Team Titles held by the Wyldhearts. Speaking of which, the champions themselves park themselves in the aisle to observe. So we get a fucking amazing encounter, which unfortunately is going to get ruined. Coleman and Hilton are legal for their respective teams, but BONZO GONZO ensues, resulting in all four men on the outside, right in front of the champions. The Future Foundation see fit to be offended at the presence of the champions and some words are exchanged. The ref comes over and orders the Wyldhearts to leave. They do comply and the ref goes to try to break up Greene and Merrick, but Hilton uses this chance to shove Blaine Bellamey as he's going back up the ramp. Blaine responds by charging Hilton, but causes Coleman to get squashed against the apron. Robbie pulls Blaine off of Hilton, trying to get him to leave with him. Hilton sends Coleman back into the ring and small packages him to score a cheap pinfall. Post-match, the Royal Effect comes running down to get themselves a piece of the Wyldhearts and we go to break with a massive four team brawl. *****, 95% overall.

I mean, God damn.

Sixth Match: ???
Lyle Morris comes down to the ring with a referee in tow. They enter the ring and Lyle takes the mic and reiterates his claim that his cousin, Chet, is a damn coward. "Now, Chet, I may not know you anymore, but I haven't gone through some BS transformation. I'm still the same so you do know me, and you know that it's not in me to just pack it in. I'm still coming for your ass and I'm not hoping to beat some sense into you! I'm not looking to rescue you! I'm looking to do something that's been long overdue, and that's put a smile on my face for the first time in a long time. And if kicking your ass to get me some payback is what it takes, so be it! So get your ass out here right now so we can get this out of the way because I'm not stopping, Chet!"

It takes a while but Chet Morris does come out to the stage to reply to Lyle. He has a mic and gives his thoughts on all this. "Lyle, I don't want you to misunderstand me. Fighting you is absolutely on my agenda. I need to completely bury you in my past as it's a necessary step for me to move forward. However, I'm choosing to do it on my terms. Of course, there is another path forward, and that is if you, Lyle, open your heart enough to forgive me and just step aside, blessing me with your approval of my decision. One way doesn't end well for you. The other way REALLY doesn't end well for you."

Lyle, of course, pretty much says that's absurd and that Chet can stick this new philosophical crap he's on up his ass. Chet merely shakes his head and says that's a very disappointing answer. "Maybe you should take it up with the man himself." And with that statement the music of Victor Dark hits and the man himself comes on out with Andrea and they make their way to the ring. Victor climbs in, looks at the referee, and gestures for him to call for the bell. The ref checks with Lyle and he has no qualms about it, so this shit is on!

Sixth Match: Victor Dark vs. Lyle Morris
This is Victor's second match and he's just as impressive here as he was in his debut. Lyle is game, but it's an uphill battle as it doesn't look like he fully grasps what he's up against. Plus, he's evidently got Chet still on his mind as every so often he turns his attention to his cousin who is still on the stage observing. Lyle manages to get Victor in position for his Cajun Spice, but Victor catches him in mid-air and turns it into the Darkness Falls and that's going to give Victor his second win via pin. Afterwards, Chet comes down to stand over his cousin's body with a look of disappointment on his face. More drama! ****1/4, 87% overall.

MAIN EVENT: Seth Von Kamp vs. Butch Fleming
Might as well end with a banger. This is Butch's first match on a Raw since before SummerSlam. I say working with an opponent like Seth is a good way to get the ring rust off of you. Both men are spirited as they look to take out their respective grievances against each other. Seth looks like he's got Butch right where he wants him, but Ronnie Costello comes down to the ring, apparently not busy anymore. Seth looks like he's going to try the Collapse of Society on Butch, but he notices Ronnie at ringside, flaunting the Intercontinental Title belt in Seth's face. Seth is too furious to think straight and he makes a lunge at Ronnie, who backs away, and Butch pounces by coming up from behind Seth and nailing him with the Slaughterhouse Special. That right there is going to be enough for the pin for Butch, making this a successful return match.

Afterward, Ronnie slides into the ring to hold the title belt over Seth, followed by putting some boots to the former champion. Alexander Piero makes himself known by coming down, looking to even things out and trying to get a piece of Butch Fleming for what he did to him. Piero stomps at Butch in the corner until Ronnie gets all up in his grill all "WTF, bro?". Piero confronting this interruption leaves him open to Butch clipping his knee from behind and a double beatdown on the two faces commences. We close with the new Intercontinental Champion and the 29th entrant in the Rumble standing victorious. *****, 95% overall.

Overall show rating: 89%

Yeah, eat shit, DUD show.

[Evil Vito]

The amount of 5 star matches remains staggering.

Butch promos are so amusing. Such a grouchy dickhead, perfect upper card heel to throw into the mix of things.

Love that we're so far into the future that current roster members have parents who were under your employ who were also in-game creations.

Morris feud is fun too - feuding cousins isn't something you see too often. Imagine if WWF made a massive deal of a Hardcore vs. Crash feud.

[M-A-G]

BREAKING FROM THE DESK OF THE GENERAL MANAGER: It has been determined that at the Royal Rumble, WWE Unified Tag Team Champions The Wyldhearts will defend the titles in a Fatal Four Way match against the Royal Effect, the Future Foundation, and the Love Connection.

[M-A-G]

Felt sick for a bit and when I'm in that position, I can't focus on getting ANYTHING done, much less writing up the shows. I have to try to get back in the groove. I'm so close to the Rumble.

[Evil Vito]

I'm largely at the point where I just can't be bothered my problem with doing real-world booking is I invariably end up having to stop for a while because life getting in the way and by the time I come back to it, the real-world landscape has changed so drastically it's tough to get back into it

I mean here I was building towards Punk vs. MJF at Wembley Stadium and in real life Punk (probably deliberately) got himself fired and then waltzes back into WWE doing corny "I'm home" speeches. Kinda tough to go back into a happier timeline.

[Evil Vito]

If I give a sim game another go I might opt for the historical route since I won't really care about taking breaks

Years and years ago I gave a go at re-doing the Invasion in a less shitty manner and that was fun but the storyline is only a finite period of time

Picking up WCW at Starrcade 1997 or something made for a fun time since they were still largely top of the charts but the goal was to stave off the real-life decline

[Evil Vito]

Guess we can eventually start a wrestling sim topic on https://tpww.freeforums.net/ and enjoy being the only ones posting there

[M-A-G]

I'll probably start it up over there myself. Damn holidays and other distractions keeping me from progress.

[M-A-G]

Superstars: January 17, 2041

Opening Match: Quinten McDaniels, Chet Morris, and Hugo vs. Nigel Gallagher and The British Infection
Quinten gets on the mic and tells everyone to not let something like Butch Fleming returning distract from the real important matters at hand. "Quite frankly, if Butch wants to make a nuisance of himself I'll remind him that he, too, qualifies as baggage from the past and the Royal Rumble is the perfect place to dump baggage!"

Chet takes the mic and calls out his cousin, Lyle. "Lyle, I know that short of ending your career you're far too full of yourself to know when to quit. Like I said, I'm going to deal with you, but on my terms and my terms alone. So I'm offering you your chance. You and me, one-on-one at the Royal Rumble! The sooner we can get deal with this, the sooner I can forget about you and leave you behind!"

I say opening things with a six-man is a great way to kick off the show. The Stable That Isn't a Stable look good here against a team like the Brits. After a "Katy, bar the door!" scenario, things end with Chet hitting Nigel with the Backwoods Bomb after catching a crossbody attempt. That's going to be enough to give the heels the pinfall win. ****1/2, 91% overall.

In-Ring Super Special Talky Time with the WWE Women's Champion, the 2040 Woman of the Year, Sonya Braddock! This will be Braddock's first opportunity to speak about the challenger waiting for her at the Rumble. She's asked by Josh Matthews on her thoughts on the matter as she begins a new year with someone whom she's not familiar. Sonya responds by asking everyone how familiar they are with the story of the Pied Piper. "I'll give a brief summary for anyone who doesn't know the story. There was a town with a massive rat problem. There was no solution in sight for this infestation and the people were desperate. One day, a stranger comes into town offering to take care of the rat problem, for a fee, of course. The people agreed and sure enough the stranger played a song on his flute that mesmerized the rats and they followed the stranger out of town into a river and they drowned. The stranger asked for his fee that was promised to him, but the people of the town, now that they got what they wanted, went back on their agreement and refused to pay. So the stranger decided to play his flute and use the music to lead the children of the town away. Now that's a pretty grim and dark story, no? But see, what people take away from that story, what they think is the lesson, is don't trust strangers. Well, they're wrong. The moral of the story is KEEP YOUR DAMN PROMISES! Carmella Costello, I understand that you've been fed a lot of beautiful words and promises from your manager Brooke. Brooke has this master plan and strategy that's promising you the world, in other words, all the things that you want to hear! Carmella, I'm not here to tell you what you want to hear. That's not my job. My job is to hurt people and beat them and be the best women's wrestler, no matter what anyone else tells you! So understand, Carmella, that Brooke is making promises that she can't keep and you're going to be one to take the brunt of the consequences. At the Royal Rumble, you want to be led by everything that Brooke is putting in your head? Well, that's where you pay the piper, in suffering and humiliation!"

This is going to cause Brooke to come out to respond. She's smart enough to not get in the same ring as Braddock and chooses to speak to the champion from the stage. "Sonya Braddock, I hope you understand that, much like with Seth Von Kamp, none of this is personal. As someone who was once in your position, I get that any threat, especially a threat like Carmella Costello, is going to make you agitated and insulted and uneasy. But I made a vow, Sonya. It's fortunate for you that you weren't around during my heyday. You wouldn't have stood a chance with me in the way as champion and you would have never reached the mythical level you're at now. Oh, there's no way I could out-power you, and certainly some of your contemporaries have failed at that. I certainly couldn't out-technique you. Again, there have been failures at that endeavor. But as far as outthinking you? I've always been at the top of the class in that department, then and now! Knowledge is power, Sonya, and at the Royal Rumble, Carmella is going to wield it. You saw what ended up happening to Seth Von Kamp. That's your future, Sonya, and there's nothing you can do about it."

Sonya grabs poor Josh's hand to take control of the mic as she offers her rebuttal to Brooke's rant. "Here's something for you to ponder, Brooke, and you can tell your girl Carmella the same thing: the only thing about brains that concerns someone like me, is they can get bashed in!" Brooke merely glares at the Women's champion as she considers this statement, but ultimately decides to withdraw to the back as Sonya Braddock stands defiant in the ring.

Backstage, Luscious is with CRACK LEGAL TEAM Galino & Farnes! Luscious is disappointed to have to tell all of Michael Hotbody's great fans that the search for any sort of blemish on Neil Quint's record hasn't been going great. But dilligence is the name of the game in the arena that is Galino & Farnes. There's a simple solution to all of this and that is if Neil Quint were to suffer a loss right now, then the WWE can't promote this match as it would be guaranteed that Neil would have to give up his title shot. "So here's the deal, Neil: find yourself a partner and go out to that ring right now so that Galino & Farnes can make this easy on everyone!"

Second Match: Clubber Harris and Neil Quint vs. Galino & Farnes
Well, this is no surprise. Harris is eager to do what he can to continue being a thorn in the side of Zed Jones. Speaking of which, both Zed and Michael Hotbody decide to make themselves known as this match goes on. Things break down and Zed is up on the apron. Neil dives over him to hit Michael Hotbody on the outside. Zed is distracted by this and he doesn't see Freddie Galino coming his way after Clubber ducks an attempted lariat from him. Zed and Galino collide, sending Zed off the apron. Galino falls victim to the Club Pain and that's going to give the faces the pin. Guess that means Neil is still on track to challenge for the Cruiserweight Title! ****1/2, 93% overall.

Third Match: Debra Phillips vs. Ainsley
I'm hoping to bring this little scuffle to a close to hopefully move Debra on to something fairly major I'm planning for her. Ainsley would make for a solid addition as a solo player in the women's division game. The overall rating reflects Debra bringing things down with her lack of charisma, but it's nothing to sneeze at. I bet the major promotions would kill for something like this. I'm not blowing this off just yet so we'll ends things this way. Debra is on the outside and she pulls Ainsley over to the corner post. It looks like she's going to try to slam one of Ainsley's knees into the post in an attempt to really hurt her. Ainsley, fortunately, is quick to the punch and pulls her leg in, taking Debra along with the momentum, and Debra hits face first into the post. That looked ugly. The ref reaches a count of 10 as Debra fails to make it back into the ring and that's going to be a win for Ainsley. No doubt that's going to stick in the craw of Debra as this moves along. ****1/4, 87% overall.

More In-Ring Super Special Talky Time this time with Cameron Harper. We're shown the dispicable actions he took back on Monday when he apparently turned his back completely on Ethan Lang. Cameron takes the mic and declares he's going to bare his soul to us all. "You need to forgive me, but this is something that needs to be said. What happened on Raw between Ethan and myself HAD to happen! I needed to punish him and get rid of him! Ethan, as talented as he is, was someone I didn't need. All Ethan was doing was getting in the way! He was getting in the way of the special relationship that Jake Connelly and I have! I'm the only client that Jake Connelly needs! Ethan Lang was jealous and threatened by me ever since the beginning! He did everything he could to undermine me and get in between Jake and me! Just look at what he did for Christmas! Ethan knew that Jake was going to love anything I gave him so Ethan took it upon himself to go out of the way to go overboard with his present! But it wasn't going to last, Ethan! You didn't count on me having enough of your underhanded tactics and you didn't count on the strong bond between Jake and myself! We don't need you, Ethan, and I hope you got that message loud and clear on Raw!"

This is going to call for Jake Connelly himself to come out to address the matter. He looks incredibly confused and unsettled as he enters the ring and takes a mic to talk to Cameron. Cameron looks overjoyed and he thanks Jake for joining him in discarding Ethan Lang. Jake is quick to fire back.

"Cameron, I hate to burst your bubble here, but you're fired!" The crowd cheers at this as Cameron looks incredulous. Jake continues. "You seriously expect me to stick around with you after what you did? After I took a chance on you?"

"Jake, what the hell are talking about? I'm the only client you need! Being mentored and managed by you has been a dream come true for me!"

"And why is that, Cameron? Did you really want to learn from me or were you just being selfish and hoping to get your name out there by associating with me? You agreed to follow my lead and time and time and time again, you kept straying from my path. You want to do things your way? Then so be it! I'm done with this and I'm done with you!"

Cameron can't believe what he's hearing and he looks visibly shaken as he tries to respond. "Jake, come on, you don't mean that! Everything I did, I did because I thought it was right and it was what needed to be done! You can't get rid of me! This would be the biggest mistake of your life!"

"Maybe it is, maybe it isn't, Cameron, but I've learned a long time ago that mistakes are forks in the road. There are lot of ways to go from this point. And let me tell you where we're going, Cameron. You see, you are in fact fired, but before I came out here to make that call, I talked things over with Ethan and Lisa Benton. As your final match booked under my watch, you will be at the Royal Rumble and you will face Ethan Lang! You think you're better than him? Well, now you can prove it!"

Jake Connelly drops the mic and turns to leave, but the revelation of all of this is apparently too much for Cameron to take and he once again flips his shit. He demonstrates this by nailing Connelly from behind, knocking down his now former manager. This doesn't look good for Connelly as Cameron is just beside himself, looking betrayed. He throws Connelly to the outside and continues to assault him. Cameron gets his hands on the steel steps and stalks Connelly who's trying to get back to his feet. Connelly turns around and is greeted with the steel steps right into his face. That's going to cause some color from him as Cameron continues to look deranged with rage. He's not done and he goes to the mount, pounding away at Connelly's face. Officials come on down to try get Cameron off of Connelly, but it's a struggle as Cameron is just too far gone at this point. We go to break with this chaotic scene continuing to play out.

Fourth Match: The Youngbloods vs. The Dillingers
I feel bad for the Dillingers, seeing as they're not really in the thick of anything major and just last year they were on their way to WrestleMania, feuding with the tag champions. They still have their uses, notably here where they boost my overall rating for the night with a fucking awesome match. The Youngbloods might have to get split as they've been directionless and I don't think that name applies anymore. But, yeah, this rocks all kinds of ass. Ben is up on top ready to come off onto Sully Lane. Matt Riley tries to make a save while on the apron, but Joey drop kicks him off sending him into Stephan Sterling on the outside. Ben hits Sully with the Dillinger Escape Plan off the top and that's going to give the Dillingers the win via pin. *****, 97% overall.

Fifth Match: Kerry Cemenko vs. Azazel
Hey, look, it's another guy I've completely overlooked! Er, I mean, wow, look! Azazel is back from his vacation. He looks good. Very well rested. *ahem* Anyway, we're shown Brandon Reigns in the crowd again, still being a douche about not having to actually do anything until WrestleMania with his briefcase. Cemenko gives him the stink eye throughout this contest, but Reigns doesn't care. Anyway, we keep the momentum for Cemenko going as he survives a hard-fought encounter here. Cemenko avoids Azazel coming off the middle rope with an attempted forearm smash and that allows Cemenko to hit the Curb Stomp to score the pin. ****1/2, 92% overall.

Backstage we go again where Eddy Clash is under the microscope, so to speak. He's asked about his experiences so far since being in the WWE. Eddy claims that he's struggling to come up with anyone on the roster with a whirlwind bunch of months like his. He came in against Michael Hotbody and all of his goons. Then there was that whole Money in the Bank briefcase situation with Brandon Reigns. Then he gets blindsided by this lunatic named Hugo. Then he's teaming up with the likes of Haven. Now he's looking at his first Royal Rumble appearance. "It's all I ever dreamed of and then some! But there's one big part of the dream still missing. The main event of WrestleMania is calling my name and as the biggest and baddest man in that Rumble, I'm looking to make more of that dream a reality. There have been some curveballs, for sure, but I've wanted to be part of the WWE since I was a little boy so any of this extra nonsense from the like of Hugo and Quinten McDaniels and Chet Morris and anyone else, I'll take the bad with the good. The bodies are going to be flying all over the place in the Rumble. Prepare the best way you can because I'm bringing the thunder!"

Sixth Match: Jenna Kyle and The Perfections vs. Dusk and the Southern Belles
Naturally I can also count on my girls to deliver some much needed high ratings. Six of them in one match should suffice. We're reminded of the title match at the Royal Rumble with the Perfections defending against the Southern Belles in a tornado style No DQ match. Bonnie's head is bandaged after suffering an El Kabong back on Raw. Jenna ends up playing face-in-peril after some solid opening work from everyone. Dusk is more than happy to wreck her shit up. Things come to an end after Leah gets the hot tag off of Jenna and we naturally get a BONZO GONZO storm of shit from everyone. Leah has Dusk in position for a Sultry Splash, but as she runs to the ropes Hannah jabs her in the ribs with another guitar. That's going to stun Leah enough to where Dusk recovers and hits Leah with the Final Sunset and that's going to give the heels the win via pin. The dance continues. ****1/4, 90% overall.

MAIN EVENT: Simon Bennett vs. Jason Sorola
Jason Sorola isn't having it tonight and rips into Simon Bennett for being named the number one contender to the Unified World Title. He calls Bennett a man out of place and that he's no better than Ryan Pattillo or anyone else who ignores and overshadows someone like himself. "While Simon Bennett was off doing who knows what and abandoning all of this, I was on the top of my game and fighting to break through! I actually gave a damn about making a name for myself, being a free thinker, unlike another sad sack of crap like Michael Haywood. Michael is feeling the sting of choosing to remain docile and that sting is coming out as resentment and jealousy towards me. Well, you can feel however you want to feel, Michael. I'm about to take down the so-called number one contender and embarrass him!"

Bennett is all about shoving those words down Sorola's throat and thus we get a pretty awesome physical main event here. Both Michael Haywood and the Unified World Champion Wrakk make their way out to ringside to observe. I'm sure that's not going to ruin anything. Well, Wrakk is ready to prove me wrong. He hops up on the apron as both Bennett and Sorola fight to get up to their feet to stop a potential double countout. Haywood is on top of that shit and holds on to one of Wrakk's legs. Wrakk isn't having it and fights him off, but turns back to the action to see Bennett shoving Sorola off of him causing a collision. Bennett hits a German suplex with a bridge and that's going to be a pinfall victory for Bennett. Business still isn't over as Wrakk steps into the ring to get face-to-face with his challenger. They trade some choice words between them. Sorola is still bitter so he drop kicks Bennett from behind sending him into Wrakk. Wrakk is offended at this and nails Bennett, triggering a little brawl between them. Michael Haywood joins the fray by sliding in to get him a piece of Jason. Sorola rakes the eyes of Michael after a bit of that to give him an opportunity to escape while officials come down to break things up between Wrakk and Bennett. *****, 94% overall.

Overall show rating: 90%

[Evil Vito]

Hey this thread lived to see its 20th birthday and then some. Wish I could access the old sim thread on the OG boards.

[M-A-G]

SmackDown!: January 18, 2041

Opening Match: Quinten McDaniels and Hugo vs. Lyle Morris and Eddy Clash
Lyle begins things by taking the mic to address his cousin, Chet, and what he said last night. "Let me just set the record straight for everyone here. This was supposed to be Eddy and me against that giant tub of gumbo Hugo and my piece of crap cousin right here, right now. But word travels fast around here and apparently Chet wants to pull his 'on my own terms' card and got himself replaced. Chet, I don't care what you have to say about this whole matter between us. As long as I'm able to get my hands on you, that's on my terms. The point of all this is to smack you around and making you pay for being a backstabbing swamp dweller. If family don't mean anything to you, so be it! I accept your offer for a match between the two of us at the Royal Rumble. It's high time this nonsense comes back around to boot you in the ass! Backing out of this match right now might have been the smartest thing you could've done, Chet, but showing up at the Rumble is going to be the dumbest!"

With that said and done, this is a great way to start things off tonight. It's all intense stuff and full speed the whole way through. Chet Morris makes his way out in the middle of the match to get in the head of Lyle. Things end in a rotten way, though, when Lyle has Hugo in position for an attempt at his Cajun Spice off the ropes. Chet decides to intervene and shove Lyle off. The ref sees this and calls for the DQ against Hugo and Quinten. Three against two is a bad situation here, even with Eddy holding his own somewhat. The balance is restored with Orlando Kincaid running down, chair in hand, to unload on the heels. The Stable That Isn't a Stable decides to bail. Lyle isn't having it and takes Orlando's chair away and goes off on his own to chase Chet who breaks off from his pack to run away in another direction. The remaining 4 men shout at each other, with Orlando and Eddy still looking to fight. ****1/4, 89% overall.

To the back we go where we've got Kyle Jacobs standing by. He's asked about his chances at winning the Royal Rumble. "Listen, if I wasn't confident and didn't think I could win it, I wouldn't have been the first person to throw my name in the ring, so to speak. Last year at WrestleMania, I pulled off an incredible moment, one that no one thought was possible. I'm itching to do it again. I'm itching to shove the doubt down the throats of anyone not giving me a chance." Kyle gets asked if that includes Chris Collins. "Oh, it most certainly does. He's right at the top of the list. Look, more power to him if he's getting a second wind and re-establishing himself here in the WWE. The more top guys I can toss out of that Rumble, the better it is for me. When everyone is out of that match and I'm the last man standing in the middle of that ring, everyone is going to be able to say that Kyle Jacobs went through hell and that Kyle Jacobs is ready for that WrestleMania main event. Why? Because I stood up to the biggest and the best and I didn't flinch. So bring it all at the Rumble, Chris. Your bitterness, your anger, your disgust, your chip on your shoulder...for all the good it's going to do."

Also elsewhere, Brooke is with Salvatore Scabbia and the new WWE Intercontinental Champion Ronnie Costello. She dismisses Kyle's comments and claims that what he did last year at WrestleMania ultimately did nothing to stop Salvatore Scabbia and his ascent. "Salvatore ended up being the biggest threat to the Unified World Title and he'd be standing here with that title if not for the absurd amount of bias and incompetence permeating in the WWE. But things are looking up. The WWE Women's Title is within reach and just last week Ronnie planted the flag of Brooke by taking what he deserves in this WWE Intercontinental Title. And the really scary thing about of all of this is that I'm not stopping. Salvatore and Ronnie are in that Royal Rumble and they're going to be the force with which everyone's going to reckon. The two of them can accomplish anything. They'd even make better tag team champions than the ones we have right now!"

Speaking of which, Madison and her clients, the WWE Unified Tag Team Champions themselves, are walking by and they catch what Brooke just said and take offense. Madison is quick to give Brooke some lip. "You know, Brooke, there's something to be said about what Sonya Braddock talked about last night on Superstars. You need to be really careful about what you're promising. My boys, the Wyldhearts, beat the Tag Team of the Year. They're on their way to beating 3 teams at the Rumble in order to keep these titles. Your reach exceeds your grasp, Brooke. This is all going to blow up in your face in a really ugly way if you're not careful."

Brooke isn't about to just take that and fires back. "Nothing about me is ugly, Madison. But if you and your boys are so confident, pony up and put those titles on the line tonight against Salvatore and Ronnie here. We were coming for those titles anyway. We might as well take them off your hands now and get it over with!"

Madison looks back to the Wyldhearts, looking for approval to go ahead with this proposal. Neither Robbie or Blaine seem to mind and Madison turns back to Brooke and tells her that she's on. "We'll see you in the main event!" And with that, the Wyldhearts and Madison go off on their own way. Is Brooke's camp going to collect another championship tonight?

Second Match: The Perfections vs. The Glamour Brigade
Speaking of champions, time to give the Women's Tag Team Champions some shine. Given the stats for C.J. and Arianna, they should be the ones I'm pushing as the main heel threat to Leah and Bonnie, but such is life. Maybe down the road. The Southern Belles are in the back watching the match on a monitor. This ends up rocking all kinds of ass. Things come to an end when Arianna sends Leah to the ropes looking to set her up for the Nose Dive. She launches Leah into the air, but Bonnie comes in to tackle Arianna, essentially breaking up the sequence, allowing Leah to land relatively safely. C.J. comes into try to take out Bonnie, but Leah sends her over the top to the outside. Arianna is down and Leah takes advantage by hitting the Sultry Splash on her and that's going to give the faces the win via pinfall. MOMENTUM has been created for the champions. ****1/2, 93% overall.

In-Ring Super Special Talky Time as Cameron Harper comes on out with a bag and a metal bin to the ring. What's this all about? The crowd reaction says it all as to how well-received his actions as of late have been. He asks the crowd to reconsider their negativity, especially once they hear what he has to say. "Whether you know it or not, whether you like it or not, if it comes down to Jake Connelly and me and you're pondering who deserves your trust and adulation more, I'm here to tell you that I'm the one you can actually count on when it comes to decency and honesty! I, unfortunately, had to learn a very harsh lesson, one that I'm going to pass on to all of you. Never meet your heroes! Let me show you all something."

Cameron proceeds to open the bag and dump its contents out in the ring. "Take a look at all of this. Two weeks ago, I would've called all of this some of my valued possessions. Now, I'm free to call it what it is. It's a pile of garbage and a symbol of how much I've wasted! I was as big a fan of Jake Connelly as you could get! He was one of the, if not the biggest, highlights of the WWE as I was growing up and I patterned myself after him. I surrounded myself with all of this memorabilia and merchandise. Look at this poster! This was the first thing I ever hung up on a wall the moment I got my own room! This shirt, this shirt right here, I wore to the WrestleMania where Jake Connelly returned after two long years to win the Unified World Title in the main event! All of this stuff in this pile right here represents the passion for this business that was formed with the admiration I had for Jake Connelly! But it turns out Jake isn't the man I thought he was! He'd rather embrace mediocrity with a guy like Ethan Lang! Was Ethan Lang ever a fan of Jake Connelly?!? NO! And then he had the gall to try to elbow me out of the picture purely out of spite and jealousy! Quite frankly, I should have seen this coming long before all of this. Jake, I should've been the first person you came to when you were starting your new career as a manager! I swallowed my pride and I practically had to beg and parade around for you just to give me a chance. And where did it all get me?!? Jake and Ethan, you're going to reap what you've sown and it's going to happen at the Royal Rumble. And if you have any doubts as to how serious I'm going take this, watch and learn because this is the perfect metaphor for all of this." With that said, Cameron drops the mic and proceeds to gather up all of the stuff in the ring and dump it in the bin. He then proceeds to pull out some lighter fluid and matches, igniting the contents. He stares at it for a while before taking his leave, shouting at the camera that he'll be waiting at the Royal Rumble.

Third Match: Zed Jones vs. Neil Quint
Zed is accompanied by Michael Hotbody who gets on the mic to address Neil Quint. He says he's on board with the idea that Galino & Farnes had to get rid of Quint's status as number one contender. So he came up with the idea of Neil Quint having to go through Zed Jones here tonight. "Surely if Neil was so confident and so worthy of a title shot, he'll have no problem coming out here and dealing with the man here. I mean, I believe in you, Neil. These people here all believe in you! What's the problem? Come on out here if you really feel you deserve to face me at the Royal Rumble!"

Some time passes but eventually Neil Quint comes on out, smiling and pumped and ready to go. He goes a few steps before suddenly doubling over and grabbing his stomach. He looks like he's in pain. Lisa Benton is quick to come out to the stage to check on Neil. She has a mic and questions Neil as to what's wrong. Neil claims that his tummy just started to hurt. Lisa is SHOCKED AND APPALLED and looks concerned, questioning Neil if he thinks he can go through with the match. Neil puts on a brave face and tries to assure everyone that he thinks he can manage. He goes a few more steps but then grabs his stomach again. Lisa again is "concerned" and declares that, by golly, it doesn't look like Neil can go through with this match. "Gosh, this looks serious! Neil, I cannot, in good conscience, allow you to participate here tonight. And I know just how badly you wanted to and I know Zed and Michael were looking forward to having a match, also. Well, Zed, don't worry. I have a replacement for Neil and he's in top form so don't worry. You're getting a match after all. You two enjoy and poor Neil here is going to get checked out in the back. Zed, you look ready to go, so here's your substitute opponent."

Actual Third Match: Zed Jones vs. Clubber Harris
Well, duh. Zed and Michael are furious and beside themselves. Neil and Lisa head to the back and Clubber looks eager to kick some ass. We get another power match as you'd expect from these two. Things spill to the outside, triggering a ten count as both men fail to make it back in. That's going to go down as a draw. Michael Hotbody tries to intervene as Clubber has the advantage as he's just pounding away on Zed. Clubber merely pie faces Hotbody and shoves the Cruiserweight Champion over the barrier. Zed recovers and tackles Clubber, sending them both over the barrier. They brawl out of sight through the crowd with officials on their tail. ****1/2, 92% overall.

Fourth Match: Ziggy Styles vs. Isaac Wolff
Ziggy declares that for the first time in history, the Royal Rumble is going to get Ziggy with it because he's going to be part of it this year! The power of positivity is coming to the main event of WrestleMania and Ziggy Styles is the gatekeeper, fighting valiantly to stave off the stench and blight of negativity coming from everyone else in that Rumble!Gloom and doom has had its day and it's high time that someone like Ziggy Styles gets to shine! Pretty words, but maybe there's something to it? Well, we'll just have to wait and see. Until then, Ziggy certainly shines here. A fantastic mid-card bout to keep everyone engaged. It's definitely a far cry from the previous bout. Things come to an end with Ziggy catching Isaac in the air, dropping him into a power bomb and then proceeding to stack him up using the ropes for some leverage. Positive leverage! That's enought to give Ziggy the cheap win via pinfall. ****1/2, 92% overall.

Once more to the back where we've got Paul Andrews, ready to talk about his client, Simon Bennett, challenging for the Unified World Title at the Royal Rumble. "Unfortunately, Simon isn't here tonight, but just know that Simon has been using every minute of off-time to prepare and perfect his craft in order to be 100% ready for what's coming at the Royal Rumble. And when you consider that Simon has always been at the top of his game, either years before or since coming back, that should make Wrakk very, very worried. The end result of the situation with Adam Hail should be looked at as an example as to what Simon is capable of when he's laser focused and determined to right a wrong. Believe Simon when he says that he's looking to make this return mean something."

Who should make himself known but the WWE Unified World Champion Wrakk. He gets in Paul's face and asks him if he's been totally honest with Simon Bennett. "I can kind of forgive Simon for being naive, seeing as he was gone during the time I ascending to where I'm at now. But you, Andrews? You've been here every step of the way. Hell, you've been a victim, haven't you? I don't think you've completely conveyed the reality that's going to go down at the Rumble to Simon. Otherwise, he wouldn't be such a confident, wide-eyed idiot coming out here, week in and week out, spouting off the nonsense of hoping to be the champion one more time. If you were any kind of manager, Andrews, you need to start being honest with your guy."

"I don't doubt you're going to give Simon a fight to remember, Wrakk. What I doubt is if you've got enough in you to finish it. Haven't all of your title defense ended in someone coming in to bail you out? Yeah, they have, haven't they. From Haven to Ryan Pattillo to Orlando Kincaid just a few weeks ago. I'm starting to believe you've built this title reign on a house of cards and Simon's the big bad wolf coming to knock it all down at the Royal Rumble."

Wrakk takes a moment to ponder this, then responds. "Well, Paul, if you're not going to give him the message I asked you to, maybe Simon can get this one." With that, Wrakk boots Paul Andrews in the gut and proceeds to pound him down into the ground, continuing the assault by stomping away at the manager while he's down. Wrakk picks up Andrews and sends him into some equipment. Officials come onto the scene to get in between the champion and the fallen Andrews. Wrakk looks like he's satisfied and backs away, shouting some more at Andrews as he leaves.

Fifth Match: Moses McKay vs. Caleb Greene
Representatives of two of the teams involved in that four-way for the Unified Tag Team Titles at the Rumble are going at it here. The Future Foundation make their way out to the announce table to give their thoughts on the matter, as they, too, will also be involved in that match. We get a great "big man-little man" match here, as Greene has a lot of experience in this department. Things end when Moses shoves Caleb off of him and Caleb bumps into the ref slightly. The ref stumbles, but that's enough for Moses to deliver a quick low blow, undetected, to Caleb and then he follows it up with the Mass Effect. The ref recovers and counts the pin, giving the cheap victory to McKay. MOMENTUM has been built. ****1/2, 93% overall.

Again to the back where Sophie Waters is with Cordelia Capriati. They want to rip into Carmella Costello, telling her they're not impressed with the fact that she basically lucked her way into the title match at the Rumble. Cordelia declares that she's not going to just go away if that's the hope that Brooke and Carmella have in their heads. "You know what, Carmella? I actually hope you manage to buck the odds and somehow walk out of the Royal Rumble with the title in your possession. In just a few short weeks, you know what's coming? The Queen of the Ring. And I can't think of a better way to ruin this whole design than by winning that tournament this year and breaking Carmella Costello like the fragile little bitch she is at WrestleMania and taking the title for myself. Have a fun time at the Rumble, Carmella. I'll be watching."

MAIN EVENT: WWE Unified Tag Team Titles
The Wyldhearts (c) vs. Salvatore Scabbia and Ronnie Costello
Brooke and Ronnie dismiss Cordelia's comments. Brooke claims that the gears are in motion and they're not to be stopped by a freaking tantrum. Ronnie puts all of his support and faith behind his sister. He says that it will be an honor to wear gold alongside his sister and he's more than happy to do what he can to make that a reality. Hell, right now, he has an opportunity to be a double champion! "Unlike a bunch of ingrates walking around here, I'm not the least bit sorry in casting my lot with Brooke. Sal and I are standing here in the main event, while all of the other whiners are back there kicking dirt around, feeling sorry for themselves. All I can say is get ready to feel even more pathetic because we're walking out of here with those tag team titles!"

Naturally, we get a fucking awesome closer here. The Wyldhearts are just perfect to play the role of pretty boy underdogs getting beat down by the big bad heels. Madison does what she can to neutralize the Brooke factor on the outside. Things break down as the ref does what he can to get in the middle of Brooke and Madison. Salvatore decides to get involved by heading over to the scuffle and stalk Madison, leaving Ronnie to fend for himself. Brooke takes this opportunity to slide Ronnie his Intercontinental Title belt while the ref is busy with Salvatore. Ronnie has Blaine in his sights and is ready to nail him with the belt. WAIT A MINUTE!!! HERE COMES SETH VON KAMP!!! The former champion yanks the title belt out of the hands of Ronnie. Ronnie turns around to see what is happening and freezes in place, totally shocked by Seth's appearance. He fails to see Blaine coming of the top to nail him with a drop kick. Seth takes his leave as Robbie Greer takes out Salvatore with a baseball slide. The Wyldhearts regroup and hit a dazed Ronnie with the Heartstopper! The ref is back in position and counts the pin on Ronnie! The Wyldhearts retain the titles!!! Brooke is livid! Seth tosses the belt to her and shouts at her that he's coming to take it back for real. We go off the air with Brooke stewing and the Wyldhearts celebrating. *****, 94% overall.

Overall show rating: 90%

[M-A-G]

Raw: January 21, 2041

The Royal Rumble is this Sunday! Let's hope nobody fucks things up tonight...or the rest of the week!

Opening Match: ???
WTF IS THIS??? It's Adam Hail making his return and kicking things off here! We haven't seen him since his brutal chain match against Simon Bennett at Bragging Rights. Well, he's looking in top form here at least. Let's hear what he has to say.

"Sorry, but I'm not letting anyone else taken any more thunder from where it belongs. Forget all of what's gone down these last few weeks. The real story is right here. I'm over the hell that I went through at Bragging Rights and I'm ready to carve out my own piece of 2041! Now I bet you're all thinking that I'm bitter over losing to Simon Bennett and now he gets to go to the Royal Rumble and challenge for the Unified World Title. You're only half-right. Losing to Bennett is an insult, but I want him to know that I'm rooting for him this Sunday. Yeah, that's right, I hope he walks out of this Sunday the new Unified World Champion! You want to know why? Because you're looking at the winner of this year's Royal Rumble! That's right, I'm entering that Rumble this Sunday and I'm going the distance. Then, in that main event of WrestleMania, I hope that Simon Bennett is in this ring with me on the other side because it's going to be so satisfying and so fitting to embarrass him and beat him and take that Unified World Title for myself. It's what he owes me for what he did to me! In the meantime, I'm in the mood to put the fear of God into the rest of the field. So I'm issuing an open challenge right now. Anyone back there who thinks I'm not 100% and ready and focused, feel free to come on out and test that theory!"

Opening Match: Adam Hail vs. Stone Walsh
Ask and you shall receive. As Hail alluded to in his rant, we need a match to get him some traction and put him on the radar going into the Rumble. He does look in good form with no signs of rust. Things come to an end when Walsh tries getting Hail up for the Stone Cutter. Nathan Quinn hops up on the apron and grabs Hail's legs, pulling him until he's able to escape and land on the apron himself. Hail drops Walsh throat-first on the rope, sending him down to the mat. That leaves Walsh vulnerable to a Hailstorm off the top rope from Adam and that's going to give him the win via pinfall. Adam Hail has made a statement with this return. ****1/2, 93% overall.

To the back we go where Neil Quint is being interviewed about his match at the Royal Rumble for the Cruiserweight Title. He says that he feels bad not being able to have that match against Zed back on SmackDown!, but Michael has to understand it was a VERY serious tummy ache. It was probably something he ate. It could've been poisoning! "No matter the issue though, things are still on track for me to head into this Sunday and finally put an end to the nonsense that is Michael Hotbody and the stranglehold he has on that Cruiserweight Title. I've beating men better than him and he knows it. Nothing is getting in my way."

Things take a turn when Brooke of all people interjects herself into the interview and addresses Neil. "Excuse me, but I believe proper introductions are in order, even though you SHOULD know who I am. Neil Quint, this is your lucky day. You see, not only am I the greatest Women's Champion to ever grace this industry, but I'm sure you've become aware that I, Brooke, am on track to being the greatest manager ever. I've embarked on a quest to claim every championship there is to win in the WWE. I already have the Intercontinental Champion under my umbrella. Carmella Costello is going to dismantle Sonya Braddock at the Royal Rumble and bring the Women's Title into the fold. Salvatore Scabbia is on track towards winning the Rumble and headlining WrestleMania where he can finally capture the Unified World Title. He and Ronnie make an unstoppable team to where they can take the Tag Team Titles anytime from any team! One thing I am missing, though, is someone who can win that Cruiserweight Title. You see, Neil, I actually believe you can beat Michael Hotbody this Sunday and win the belt. I also believe that without the proper guidance behind you, it's going to blow up in your face and be a disaster. I'm here to provide that guidance, Neil. I know winners when I see them, but I also know where my hand and mind are needed. This is the right move, Neil, and really the best move you could make. What do you say? Will you let me be your manager and help you be the best Cruiserweight Champion that you can be?"

Neil Quint thinks this over for a bit before offering his reply. "You know, from where I'm standing and what I've seen, it looks like you need me more than I need you. If Cordelia and The Academy are anything to go by, I think I'll take my chances doing things my way."

Brooke is aghast at this answer. "Uh, excuse me? Neil, I think you need to understand something here. I'm not exactly one that takes 'no' for an answer very well."

"See, that's the problem with people like you. You're so used to everything being handed to you and people fauning at your feet. You're just going to have to go try and leech off someone else."

"Neil, I'm only going to warn you once and I hope you reconsider, especially once you see all of what I said come true. You will regret pissing me off."

"Feel free to tell me that again when I have that Cruiserweight Title around my waist." And with that, Neil Quint leaves and Brooke is left to stew in this dejection.

Second Match: Lyle Morris vs. Cameron Harper
Harper gets on the mic and declares that he demanded this match. "Isn't it funny how I can now go off and demand and get what I want now that I cut myself loose from Ethan Lang and Jake Connelly? I wanted a piece of Lyle Morris ever since he insulted me by slapping me in the face. Lyle, you thought you were going to avoid this, didn't you? Well you didn't count on me stepping up and standing up for myself and being my own man! First you and then Ethan at the Royal Rumble! And to Jake Connelly, I hope you watch and you feel it in your gut how bad you messed up by casting me aside!"

Strong words, but we have this match to deal with first. Lyle stands firm here, not phased by Harper's tantrum. It's a good "big man vs. little man" encounter. Of course, it just has to get ruined by Chet Morris coming on out to shove Lyle off the ropes when the latter is in position to come off the top with Cajun Spice. That's going to be a DQ, but that's a mere formality as Chet Morris gets in the ring to deliver some more abuse to his cousin. He takes time now and then to stop and yell at Lyle, asking his cousin why he can't understand. Business is ready to pick up as Ethan Lang comes running down and gets in the ring, too! Lang tackles Harper and just unloads on his former partner. Actually, this whole scene is a portrait of former partners at each other's throats. Chet is distracted by Ethan's appearance and subsequent flurry. Lyle takes this time to fight his way up to his knees and low blow Chet. Lyle takes himself and Chet to the outside and he continues his assault there. Eventually both Cameron and Chet manage to shove their respective attackers off them and they shift into retreat mode. Hopefully all of this can get settled at the Rumble this Sunday! *****, 94% overall.

Third Match: Jenna Kyle vs. Debra Phillips
We're told that Jenna Kyle vs. Dusk has been signed for the Royal Rumble pre-show. Jenna declares that she's all about that, hoping that she can get a measure of justice in the name of Faith and because women like Dusk are just flat out annoying. "It's not about dark vs. light, Dusk. It's about who's the better woman and if you can't recognize that I've got you beat in that department, you've been spending way too much time in that abyss of yours. If it makes you feel any better, I'll be more than happy to send you back there so you can mope some more!" Nothing wrong with some solid women's action for this night...or any night. Debra isn't really figured into anything major...yet, so losing here shouldn't be too bad for her. Jenna tilt-a-whirls her way out of a backbreaker attempt and turns it into a Kyle Driver to get the pin and the victory. Afterwards the lights go out temporarily and when they come back on Dusk is in front of Jenna! Jenna is caught off-guard by this and is easy prey to Dusk taking her down with a hell of a lariat. Dusk proceeds to hit Jenna with the Final Sunset, following that up by picking Jenna up by her face and mockingly stroking it, pretending to be enthralled by Jenna's beauty. She releases Jenna and stands tall over her as we got to break. ****1/4, 89% overall.

Fourth Match: Robbie Greer vs. King Kavovit vs. Stanley Coleman vs. Rick Hilton
We're getting a preview of the four-way tag match for the Unified Tag Team Titles this Sunday as a member of each participating team is present here. It's chaotic as you'd expect. I'm hoping to pull a 99% rating out of these guys for the PPV. I think the only weak link would be the Love Connection due to their low charisma rating, but maybe the other teams will pick up the slack. Either way, Robbie has Rick Hilton down on the mat in a vulnerable position and decides to head to the top to try to finish things off. Unfortunately, the other half of the Royal Effect, Moses McKay, comes running down and pushes Robbie off, right into the arms of King Kavovit who rolls with the momentum and stacks up Robbie, putting his feet on the ropes for good measure. That's going to give him the cheap win and the much needed MOMENTUM as we head into the PPV. ****1/2, 93% overall.

In-Ring Super Special Talky Time as Haven makes his way to the ring. He looks like he's in a mood to say the least. "Victor Dark, your timing could not be more terrible. This is the season of focus and introspection. In just a few short days, the battlefield awaits, with the richest prize and the grandest stage hanging in the balance. Victor, having fought on that stage and having that prize snatched away from me through one method or another, I hope you can at least understand that I'm not in the proper frame of mind to deal with your perceived slights. I hope you witness the carnage and the destruction that I'm going to unleash this Sunday and you take stock of your life and your decisions that have led you here. I hope you witness my triumph and you come to the realization that you will always pale in comparison to me and you abandon this quest of yours, not for me but for you, and certainly for Andrea. You have a chance to turn around and do some introspection of your own. A war with you is not something I want nor care about, but it would be a war you would lose and lose horribly. I have not forgotten my past. I recognize it so that it helps me understand the present, and mold the future."

"I certainly hope you don't forget about the past because that would mean you've forgotten about me." This statement cuts through the arena, interrupting Haven. Who should emerge on the stage but Quinten McDaniels, being flanked by Hugo. Quinten continues his talking as the two move down the aisle towards the ring. "I'd hate to believe that you've completely overlooked me, Haven. The way I see it, our business still needs to be concluded. You don't get to live surrounded by a cesspool, crawl on out, and come out clean on the other side. No, Haven, I plan on leaving you a mess. In many ways it's personal, but in others, it's not. You and Orlando and everyone else who has been an anchor dragging me down need to be cut loose and cut loose in the most definitive fashion. Victor Dark isn't the problem, Haven. He's the answer. Those you let down? WE'RE the problem." With that, both Quinten and Hugo enter the ring from opposite sides, surrounding Haven. Haven looks like he's in trouble BUT HERE COMES ORLANDO KINCAID!!! Orlando manages to yank Quinten's legs out of from under him, tripping him up. Orlando proceeds to pull Quinten out to the floor and begins to brawl with him. Hugo is all over Haven in the meantime. Haven fights back as best he can while Quinten is getting his ass handed to him on the outside. Quinten tries to beg off, but when Orlando moves in, Quinten grabs Orlando's pants and yanks him into the barrier. Quinten grabs the ring bell and KOs Orlando with it, busting Orlando open. Haven has Hugo down and vulnerable and looks to finish him off, but Quinten slides in behind Haven and nails him with the bell in the back of the head. Haven is down on his knees and Hugo takes advantage of this by lifting Haven up and flattening him with the Moonsault Press. Haven looks hurt as he was just straight up crushed, not to mention that blow to the head. Quinten and Hugo stand tall over their enemies as we move on.

Our next inductee for this year's Hall of Fame class is...Cash Stevens! A pioneer in the world of Cruiserweights, this legend will take his place in the annals of history along with Lisa Benton and Jason Collins, being inducted by Mark Mason and Derek Standish.

Once more to the back we go as Luscious is with her man Michael Hotbody and Zed Jones. Luscious and Hotbody want to call out Neil Quint for being a BIG FAT LIAR AND A PHONY FAKER!!! They claim that Neil was afraid of Zed and he got Lisa Benton to help him pull a fast one on everybody! Hotbody goes on to say that none of us really should be shocked because Neil has been pulling the wool over the eyes of everyone since he got here! "It just makes me sick how somebody can use deception and lying and dishonesty to get one over on people! Who does that? On top of all that, he thinks he can do better than I can in this business. Well it's been a year since I first burst onto the scene and I've seen them all come and go and try their hand at being better than me! It's not happening, Neil! It's all going to catch up to you at the Rumble! I'm just going to have to beat you myself! And to Clubber Harris? Zed is going to have his eye on you in that Rumble and it's his mission to be the one to toss you out!"

Fifth Match: Salvatore Scabbia and Ronnie Costello vs. Seth Von Kamp and Alexander Piero
We're told that Brooke issued a challenge to Seth Von Kamp for this match right now. All he needed to do was get a partner and he'd get his opportunity to get destroyed as payback for screwing Scabbia and Ronnie out of the tag titles on SmackDown!. Brooke goes on to rip into Neil Quint, calling him incredibly short-sighted, but she has a feeling he'll regret his choice and come around once he witnesses what goes down here.

So Piero is offered up as a partner by Madison. She explains it's a 'thank you' of sorts for Seth being there on SmackDown! and keeping the tag titles with the Wyldhearts. This is an awesome hard-hitting affair. Things break down as Ronnie and Seth go off brawling into the crowd, leaving Scabbia and Piero alone. The ref is distracted with Brooke and Madison having a shoving exchange. Piero has Scabbia set up for a Flashpoint but HERE COMES BUTCH FLEMING! He proceeds to continue to be a dick towards Piero by hopping up on the apron and clotheslining him down. Fleming hops back down to the floor and Scabbia pounces by slapping on the Omerta on Piero. Piero is face-to-face with Fleming as he's locked in hold, struggling to stay in it. Fleming mocks him throughout the whole ordeal and the ref comes over once the ladies are done with their tussle. Piero ends up passing out and that's going to give the win to Brooke's camp. Fleming continues to glare at the fallen Piero as Madison slides in to check on her man. ****1/2, 91% overall.

Time for some more trash talk as the WWE Women's Champion wants to give some more thoughts on the matter between her and Carmella Costello this Sunday. "Carmella, what's the worst day of your life? Was it a bad report card? An injury? A bad break-up? A fight with a family member? I can tell you that whatever you pick, you're wrong. I bet you and your brother are already getting everything ready for the big celebration and photo shoots and interviews and blah-blah-blah. You believe you already have Sunday in the bag just because Brooke says so. Carmella, the worst day of your life is the day you realize you don't and can't hold a candle to me and you recognize that taking this Women's Title from me just isn't in the cards for you. And then the day after that is also going to be your worst day. Then the day after that. Then the day after that. Worst day after worst day stacking up until the reality drives you crazy and you leave this plane of existence knowing I'm better than you!"

Sixth Match: Leah vs. Hannah McCormick
Leah is kind of low on morale so I figure stick her in right here. Oh, I'd stick in her, if you catch my drift...ahem. Anyway, this rules all kinds of ass as you've got two women who know each inside and out...ahem. I'm not making this look good for me, am I? Back to the match, it's awesome as you'd expect as the announcers remind us of the stakes this Sunday between the respective teams of these two. Leah ends up getting a tremendous flurry that causes Hannah to shift into emergency chicken shit mode as she tries to back away. Leah isn't having it and she takes Hannah and herself to the outside over the top via a Cactus Clothesline. Hannah continues her desperate measures to create space between her and Leah. That's going to cause her to reach for her trusty guitar and shove it into the ribs of Leah. That's going to be a DQ against Hannah, but she just looks relieved to be done with Leah at the moment. She takes the time to get in a couple of boots in as Leah is fallen over clutching her sides. It looks like she's going to El Kabong Leah, but Bonnie Beckham comes running down to chase off Hannah and put an end to that idea. ****1/2, 92% overall.

MAIN EVENT: Wrakk, Chris Collins, Ozzy Mandias, Jason Sorola, Hugo vs. Simon Bennett, Kyle Jacobs, Jordan Demiras, Michael Haywood, Eddy Clash
Well this will be a delightful mess, no? Bennett gets on the mic to give some lip to Wrakk. He claims he's not looking to get a pound of flesh from the Unified World Champion in the name of Paul Andrews. "Andrews is a big boy, he's been through what Wrakk did before and come out smiling. No, I'm taking a piece of Wrakk because it's what's owed to me! The Royal Rumble is where Wrakk's new era ends before it ever begins!"

This is all wonderful chaos and a great way to end things for the night. We naturally get the big finisher flurry at the end. Eddy Clash and Hugo fight their way up the ramp and end up crashing into the set on the stage. It's down to Bennett and Ozzy as the legal men. Bennett ducks a big boot from Wrakk and the champion ends up hitting Ozzy by mistake. Jacobs tackles Wrakk to the outside while Bennett goes to work by slapping the Bennett Lock on Ozzy. No one is around to save Ozzy and he ends up tapping out to give the win to the faces. Bennett stands tall as he climbs the top rope and poses, lording over Wrakk as the two exchange glares. ****1/2, 91% overall.

Overall show rating: 90%[/b]

[M-A-G]

Working on all the write ups now. Like I said, I've got the next three shows including the Rumble in the can already. Just need to focus.

[M-A-G]

Superstars: January 24, 2041

Inching closer and closer to the Rumble!

Opening Match: Victor Dark vs. Daniel St. Croix
Andrea gets on the stick, ready to heap tons of praise upon Victor. "Victor has taken great pleasure and pride in being responsible for the mood shift here in the WWE. The doubt that has been planted in your minds, the apprehension that runs down the spine of Haven, is all because of Victor. Nothing is certain anymore and Victor will continue being the cloud hanging over the room. I simply ask are you afraid of the dark? You should be. You WILL be!" Well, that sounds like fun. This match is fun, too. Not for St. Croix, of course, as he's just slaughtered and sacrificed at the Dark Altar. Victor puts things away pretty emphatically with the Darkness Falls for the pin. ****1/2, 91% overall.

In-Ring Super Special Talky Time, this time with former Intercontinental Champion Seth Von Kamp. He looks like he's in a mood, but that's understandable, all things concerned. He gets the mic and bares his soul. "So it's been two weeks since I 'lost' the Intercontinental Title. I'm not keen on being a complainer, but this whole situation is ridiculous. I put in almost a decade of blood and sweat in this company, not counting the 4 years before that struggling to get a break. All of the dues that I had to pay are stuck in my head permenantly, constantly reminding me of where I come from. All of that time and effort culminated in me finally acheiving one of the biggest milestones of my career and that was at Summerslam when I walked out the Intercontinental Champion. And where are we at now? We've got some pampered clown, managed by some diva with a chip on her shoulder, parading around with all of the pride in the world, born on third base and thinking he hit a triple. He steals everything that I worked my ass off for and he refuses to step up and give me my due. That's the world you're asking me to live in? Nope, sorry. Not having it. That's not going to cut it. Every day that's passed with Ronnie Costello walking around with my Intercontinetal Title has been a slap in the face. So I say this, and I hope you're listening, too, Brooke, because I don't give a damn about your plan. I'm standing right here, dressed and ready to go. If Ronnie isn't the tiny man I think he is, he'll bring himself and that title out here and we can do this dance one more time!"

The challenge has been laid down and Seth paces the ring, looking at the stage in hopes that he's going to get an answer. We get nothing and Seth gets back on the mic and eggs Ronnie on some more. We still get nothing as more time passes and Seth gets exasperated. "Yeah, this seems about right. Granted, I didn't know too much about you, Ronnie, before all of this, but one I thing I definitely did have figured out is the biggest thing going on between your legs is a piss stain! You can't hide forever and I want you to remember that I gave you a chance to do things the easy way!" And with that, Seth drops the mic and takes his leave looking furious.

Second Match: The Perfections vs. The Brooklyn Sisterhood
It's all about that sweet, sweet MOMENTUM as the Women's Tag Team Champions go into their title defense this Sunday. The Sisterhood are a great team for the champions to work off of as Emma and Billie do their big, bad bully schtick against the scrappy underdogs. We're shown the Southern Belles watching from the back. Things come to an end as we get a BONZO GONZO scenario. Emma has Bonnie in her sights for a Spear, but Bonnie leaps over Emma as she comes charging. Emma hits Billie as a result, taking her own partner out of the equation. Leah comes off the top with a heel kick to Emma's face and she goes reeling backwards into a schoolgirl from Bonnie and that's enough to give the champions the win and the MOMENTUM. The Southern Belles look unimpressed. ****1/2, 93% overall.

Backstage we go where Madison is with Alexander Piero. They're asked about the situation with Butch Fleming. Piero says that he's actually honored to have earned the attention of a guy like Fleming. "I just take it as Butch being threatened. This bragging macho routine he loves to pull every time he goes out there is nothing but hot air, all designed to make sure none of the attention is off of him. Well now I'm in that spotlight and I'm only willing to share it for so long."

Third Match: Cameron Harper vs. Patrick Dean Quartermaine
Harper wants a piece of that pre-match promo pie and thus gets on the stick to reiterate his grievances. "If there was any doubt about my decision to cut ties with Jake Connelly and Ethan Lang, they've all vanished. Now more than ever, I am confident that I did the right thing for myself. I deserve to be appreciated! I should've been the first person Jake Connelly came to when he was looking for clients! We could have had the world! Well, the ship has sailed and I'm charting my own course. What I build for myself will be a monument that Jake and Ethan will look at and feel shame and embarrassment and failure! It begins at the Royal Rumble when I prove my superiority! Ethan, you're on your own. Jake's not going to be there to hold your hand and I'm most definitely done with carrying you!" Once again we have a match where MOMENTUM is on the line. I hope this path I started paving for Cameron pulls him out of that limbo he was in for a long time and he gets to be useful enough to where I want to keep building on top of it. Anyway, this match is the goods. Cameron counters an attempt at a head scissors, turning it into a Cam Jam and that's enough to give him the pin. Ethan Lang comes running down to try to get a piece of Harper, but Harper isn't about that tonight and bails. ****1/4, 94% overall.

Once again to the back where Brooke is with Ronnie and Carmella Costello. Brooke wants to know who the hell Seth Von Kamp thinks he is. "I'm sorry, but when did Seth Von Kamp start calling the shots around here? Look, we know that Seth is 'owed' a match against Ronnie for the Intercontinental Title, but all of the power is over on this side of the fence. Ronnie Costello will face Seth when he feels like it and when he's ready. Right now, the really important issue facing these two is becoming champions as brother and sister. Carmella has a shot at making that history this Sunday, when she outshines that overhyped jock Sonya Braddock!"

Ronnie follows up with his own take on things. "It's going to be great. Our parents are going to be so proud and more importantly, everyone around here is going to be so jealous. My little sister is going to conquer the arena of women's wrestling as the Women's Champion and I'm going to embark on the greatest Intercontinental Title reign in history! We're an unbeatable team. Seth Von Kamp, I actually invite you to come to SmackDown! so you can come get a piece of what you deserve since you want some action so bad!"

Carmella continues with her thoughts. "Sonya Braddock thinks that she's going to get by this Sunday riding on her reputation. It's about time that she gets knocked down a peg. She has no idea what's in store for her. She has no idea of the power of this machine that Brooke has built. It's a synergy that Sonya hasn't dealt with before and one that she'll never forget. In fact, I invite her to the same party that Ronnie just invited Seth to so she can see first hand!" And with that, the three take their leave.

Fourth Match: The Academy vs. The Youngbloods
Time for solid tag team action. I know who I can count on anytime I need a fucking awesome match to boost my rating. I mentioned it before but I think I've gone as far as I can with the Youngbloods as a team. I should brainstorm what to do with them. In the meantime, The Academy puts this one away in a fairly strong fashion as Randy Ellis hits Sully Lane with Today's Lesson and that's going to give them the win via pinfall. *****, 94% overall.

Fifth Match: Xavier Cross vs. Kerry Cemenko
Brandon Reigns is shown at ringside still gripping his Money in the Bank briefcase and still choosing to not get involved in any proceedings. Xavier Cross gets on the stick and makes his own case for winning the Rumble. He declares that headlining WrestleMania 50 was a high. An unbelievable high that no one in the audience can ever understand. A high that Kerry Cemenko can never understand. "And that's simply because I'm better! It's high time that I return to that grand stage and that road is going to be built with the bodies of 29 other pretenders at the Royal Rumble!" I remember when these two got a Match of the Year candidate last year on a fucking PRE-SHOW. If this were real, I wonder how they'd feel getting passed over in favor of two women. Anyway, after another awesome match they tumble to the outside and the count is on. Cross shoves Cemenko away, causing Cemenko to crash into the barrier right in front of where Brandon Reigns is sitting. Reigns gets up from his seat. Cemenko recovers but he ends up being face-to-face with Reigns. They share a few choice words. Cross uses this opportunity to sneak back into the ring. Cemenko ends up shoving Reigns. Reigns responds by splashing his drink in Cemenko's face. The referee reaches the count of 10 giving the win to Cross, but that's not the main story here as Cemenko retaliates to his impromptu bath by jumping over the barrier to get him some of Reigns. We get officials out here to break things up. I mean, technically Cemenko is assaulting an audience member. The dance between these two continues. ****1/2, 93% overall.

More backstage talking as the Unified World Champion Wrakk wants to get some more stuff off his chest. "When you're on a journey like mine, when you've suffered setbacks like I have, there isn't room for mourning or regrets. There are only obstacles in your way. Obstacles that need to be destroyed, not just conquered. This is something that Simon Bennett can't understand. But it's fine, because I will be the adversity that he's been sorely missing! Simon, your grand return to this stage doesn't entitle you to anything, certainly not at my expense. Allow me to introduce you to what you've been missing for all these years."

It's time for another edition of the Hot Button with everyone's favorite host, The Royal Rumble Winning Hero to Millions Around the World, the Host With THE Highest Rated Interview Show In All of Entertainment, The New Age Intellectual Savior to the Masses, The 2031 Fulton County First Place Conga Award Winner, The Luscious Lover of the Manager of the Year Slammy Award Winner and Undefeated Steel Cage Master and REAL 2040 King of the Ring, The Supreme Submission Machine, Mister Twenty-Forty, The Two Time Slammy Award Winner Including the Rookie of the Year and the Most Envied Superstar of the Year, the Man Who is the Rightful Winner of the Slammy for Cruiserweight of the Year, The Lord of the Ladder and Conqueror of Fears, Former WWE Cruiserweight Champion-Elect, the Cruiserweight Champion Michael Hotbody! "First things first, I need to apologize to all of the diehard, loyal, and clamouring fans of mine that have been deprived of the Hot Button for such a long time. I understand I haven't given you what you've been craving for these past weeks, but I hope to make it all up to you this Sunday by giving you what you really, really want! You all want to see me put an end to that big phony known as Neil Quint! Well, with this being a celebration of my first year, a year of awesomeness, I may add, it's only appropriate to put things into perspective for my overzealous opponent for the Rumble. Neil, I invite you to come on out here so that the full weight of what's ahead for you can sink in, and maybe, JUST MAYBE, you'll find it in yourself to do the right thing and pull out of this match on your own. So come on out and join me here on the Hot Button, Neil!"

Some time passes before the number one contender himself comes out and does indeed join Hotbody in the ring, looking exasparated as hell. Michael welcomes Neil to the show and continues with his spiel. "Neil, thank you for doing this. Quite frankly it's for your own good when you really think about it. You need to put things in perspective when you hear what I have to say and see what I have to show you. If you would do yourself a favor and take a gander at the big screen so that I can narrate this display of grandeur and dominance. Now this footage right here is from last year's WrestleMania, where I led my team to glorious victory and planted my flag as someone who everyone needed to keep an eye on. This next piece is my stunning underdog victory in the Cruiserweight Royal Rumble, a match where NO ONE gave me a shot at winning. But I believed in myself, Neil, because I knew I was the best. And that victory led me to this next bit. I didn't just beat Jordan Demiras, I beat him THREE TIMES, becoming the Cruiserweight Champion that we all know and love today! I even broke him in his own requested match inside a steel cage! And then it was on to Martyn LaSalle. I outdid him in every respect, making him tap out to the superior man! I even caught the attention of the hottest woman on the planet who was eager to jump on board the unstoppable express train that is Michael Hotbody! Then I moved on to overcoming not one, not two, BUT THREE challengers to my title, proving that I'm more man than people give me credit for. I led another team to glorious victory at the Survivor Series, walking out the sole survivor! And just last month, I conquered my fears, I suppressed all of my anxieties, and I overcame the deviousness of Gavin Jones when I climbed that ladder, courage building with every step, until I secured my title once again! So now that brings us to you, Neil, and the Royal Rumble. Stacked up against all of what you just saw, I have to ask where you get the audacity to think you stand a chance against me! You're in no position to change the course of my journey. I'm the Rookie of the Year, NOT YOU! I'm the rightful Cruiserweight of the Year, NOT YOU! What you need to do, Neil, is go deep into your heart and realize the truth of what I'm saying, do the right thing, and forfeit. No one will think any less of you if you just pull out of this, Neil! I site all of my accomplishments in my introduction not to brag. They may intimidating to some, but that's not their intended effect, either. They are there to inform people like you, Neil, in order to help you make wise decisions with your career. I have no doubt that down the road, once the sun has set on my dynasty, you'll be able to carry the ball in a very admirable and adorable fashion. But that can't happen if you walk into the lion's den this Sunday where I will devour you and add you as another notch in my belt! What do you say, Neil?"

Neil looks pensive as he thinks about all of this. He eventually meets Michael eye-to-eye and gives his reply. "Michael, I just want to thank you for showing us all that. It was very informative and it does help me out when considering your request. It served as a terrific reminder as to why I need to beat the crap out of you this Sunday and take that title!"

The crowd cheers and Hotbody is aghast at this reply, but Neil Quint continues. "No, no, don't give me this incredulous nonsense. For this past year you have been doing nothing but leaving a stain on that Cruiserweight Title. I didn't come this far to be scared off. So here's my anniversary gift to you, Michael. I'm going to give you another major highlight that you can add to your little show and tell presentation. It's the ass kicking of your life and it's the end of this circus!"

Michael Hotbody composes himself, looking extremely upset and annoyed at all of what Neil just said. "You know, I figured as much. You know what? That's fine! Don't say I didn't warn you! You're going to get everything you deserve! Speaking of which, Neil, I feel like you should know that Zed Jones was really disappointed with you not showing up to fight him last week!"

Just as Michael delivers that last statement, Zed Jones slips into the ring behind Neil Quint and drops him with a heavy blow to the back of the head. Michael watches as Zed delivers a beat down, choosing to provide play-by-play, all while insincerely asking Zed not to do certain things to Neil.

"Oh, Zed. Zed, no! Don't throw him to the outside and kick his ass there!" Zed proceeds to throw Neil to the outside and continues the beating.

"Zed, please! You can't grab a chair and bust Neil open with it!" Zed proceeds to grab a chair and busts Neil open with it.

"Oh, my God, Zed! You're going too far! You can't pick him up and send him into the ringpost!!!" Zed proceeds to pick up Neil and send him into the ringpost.

"Zed, don't you have mercy, bah gawd! Bah gawd, he's broken in half! Don't set up the announce table and send Neil through it!" Zed proceeds to prep the announce table and then power bombs Neil through it!

"OH, MAH GAWD!!! OH, MAH GAWD!!! GOVERNMENT MULE!!! GOVERNMENT MULE!!! AS GAWD AS MAH WITNESS, HE'S A SCOLDED DOG!!! RIGHT OUT OF THE UNIVERSITY OF GEORGIA, BAH GAWD!!!" Michael eventually decides he's had enough and suggests that he and Zed go get dinner before hopping onto Zed piggyback style and heading to the back, leaving Neil a broken mess.

MAIN EVENT: Chet Morris and Quinten McDaniels vs. Lyle Morris and Orlando Kincaid
The heat is strong here and as a result it's a strong close to the evening. We're reminded of Chet and Lyle's one-on-one match at the Rumble in addition to Quinten and Orlando both being part of the Rumble match itself. It's another balls to the wall tag encounter, similar to the six-man back at Bragging Rights, with no one really playing face-in-peril. Things break down as Quinten and Orlando brawl to the outside, eventually crashing through the barricade, taking them out of play. Meanwhile, Lyle is finally in a position to be getting the better of Chet and he doesn't let up. Like to the point where the referee has to cut in multiple times, but Lyle isn't having it. Lyle shoves the ref down and that's going to draw a DQ. Lyle is too busy trying to break Chet's face to care. Eventually, Quinten makes his way back into the ring and saves Chet by pulling Lyle off and hitting him with the Great Depression. Quinten gathers Chet and the two make their way up the ramp as we go off the air. *****, 94% overall.

Overall show rating: 91%

[M-A-G]

Damn, it's been a spell since being able to post over in this version of the thread. Finished up the month of January by doing the last Superstars. The end of the month notes are the bigger issue than anything else.